"So who are you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?"
'Because obviously the ten-minute walk into town from Sweet Apple Acres was enough time for me to make that decision,' she snarks to herself with an eyeroll so strong that it nearly cricks her neck.
"I don't know, Spike, but I really can't think straight when I'm hungry. So, where should we eat?"
As if on cue, the moment that she's finished speaking, Pinkie Pie comes flying out of Sugarcube Corner's side door and directly into Twilight's ribs. Two golden tickets float gently down to rest on either side of the party pony's muzzle, and when she opens her eyes, for some reason she thinks that two-dimensional, reflective golden bats with fanciful cursive scrawled across them exist, so she chooses to spring up and run around whilst screaming about bats on her face.
On the plus side, this wakes Twilight from her stupor, though it worsens her headache.
When Pinkie Pie next approaches the tickets, however, she pauses and takes a good look at them.
Disoriented as she is, Twilight can't teleport them away from the frizzy-maned pony fast enough for it to matter.
"Wait...these aren't...tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?!"
Normally, Twilight Sparkle might make a stronger attempt to be polite and stick around for the upcoming monologue and borderline-hallucinatory episode, but she's starting to shake and her ability to act like this royal skirt-chaser behavior isn't getting on her last, starving nerve is very rapidly fading away. So, she walks away.
By the time Pinkie's done rambling, she finds that Twilight and Spike are just about to enter the nearby Prench restaurant and that the tickets in her grasp have been replaced with napkins. She bounces up to the two despite the clear "leave me alone" behaviors, and offers up her biggest puppydog star-filled gaze as she begins to beg for Twilight's plus one. Her squealing cries are loud enough that the restaurant's most frequent customer, Rarity, catches wind of the words "the Grand Galloping Gala," and soon two of her...friends...are cajoling her for th-
...no. She absolutely refuses to acknowledge what she's seeing right now.
And yet, her intelligent and ever-logical mind so helpfully reminds her, it doesn't matter whether or not she acknowledges it or not. It's still a fact of life that Applejack and Rainbow Dash are approaching the already-crowded table with clear, jealous intent in their gazes, their coats and manes still tousled as if they'd been following her via hiding in bushes this entire time. She doesn't even need to ask them; the sudden twinge of guilt in their gazes as she levels her own accusatory glare upon them is more than enough confirmation.
"Pleeease pleasepleaseplease Twilight, I have to go! It's the biggest party in aaall of Equestria!"
"Twilight, darling, surely even an...ahem...bookish pony such as yourself would support true love such as Prince Blueblood and I's, yes?"
"Granny's hip's been troublin' her for a mighty long time!"
"C'mon, Twi! It's the Wonderbolts! When am I ever gonna get a chance like this again?!"
The familiarity of the voices and the volume of their combined pleas brings in the final filly of their little group, and as Fluttershy comes closer, Angel Bunny resting on her back, Twilight's heart lifts as that quiet voice rises just enough for everypony else to quiet down so that they can hear what she has to say concerning the matter. Her heart quickly sinks into the depths of Tartarus as Fluttershy is overtaken by the same mental images and monologues that have tormented Twilight Sparkle for the past several hours.
Her horn glows, the energy gathering at her own throat into a tiny, condensed sphere, and when she next opens her mouth, her voice booms out so loudly that it quite literally flips several tables and chairs over from the sheer concussive force of it.
"QUIIIEEET!"
Mane now thoroughly disheveled, she glares at all five of the ponies that have been consistently interrupting her increasingly desperate attempts at getting some food into her positively vibrating stomach. They look shocked, as though they can't quite believe that she would yell at them, despite the fact that they've been doing the same to her for hours now.
Without bothering to explain herself, she stands up with an abrupt and ear-wounding scrape of the chair against the polished granite floor of the outside patio, and walks away. Again. Spike can probably run fast enough to keep up with her trotting at this point. When she hears nothing following after her, save for the frantic slap-slap-slap of dragon feet against cobblestone, she looks behind herself just long enough to pick Spike up, plop him down on her back, then resume trotting away.
When they reach the hayburger joint on the other side of town, she orders the largest family deal they have, the cashier blinking and asking for confirmation on the size of the order and hurrying to put it in when Twilight practically seethes out that yes, she does, in fact, want four oatburgers with extra lettuce, cheese, mayo, and tomatoes, and that she does want four orders of large hayfries, and that she does want two large sodas to go with it. When she gets her order, though, it's in a...rather large bag, and she feels self-conscious enough that she doesn't want to sit inside and scarf it all down in three seconds while everybody watches the town nerd doing so, so she takes it and begins the walk home...
...and almost immediately gets slammed into by Pinkie Pie, who decided to throw her a surprise street party.
She tunes out the lyrics, the music, the party horns, and the confetti. The only thing she can see is her wasted food laying on the ground, dirt and germs getting all over it. She can't salvage any of it. The Pinkie Impact was so powerful that the bag may as well have been rigged with a literal bomb.
Her subconscious activates her magic before she has time to even really think about her actions, and she slaps Pinkie Pie out of the air, mid-trampoline-bounce, so hard that she's thrown face-first into the mess of ketchup, oats, and hay, before she storms off.
Spike stares at the stunned party pony, throwing a few napkins at her before running after Twilight and very quietly asking, "Twilight...? Um...are you...are you...alri-"
"NO! I'm NOT "alright"! All of these- these- PONIES are just trying to get into this stupid fucking Gala! Meanwhile, all I've wanted for the past seven Celestia-damned hours is some LUNCH!" Orange hooves reach into her vision for just long enough to yank her towards a wagon piled up to overflowing with apple-based treats, and she doesn't need to face the owner of it as a proud country-accented voice begins to list off its contents. Anger tints her face redder and redder, her muscles winding up tighter and tighter, and she feels something about to pop, when suddenly, everything just...releases.
A genuine, pleasant smile lazily makes its way across her lips, and she looks at Applejack with her head tilted slightly, like she's just making an inquiry. She really is just asking a question here.
Despite this, Applejack gets the distinct sense that she's in danger.
"So, what do I owe you for all of this food, Applejack? It must be at least one hundred bits' worth; you must've gone through an awful lot of trouble to make all of this food, and fast enough to keep it all warm enough to still be steaming."
She shakes the feeling off; Twilight would never hurt her, or any of her friends. She's just being silly. Must be all the stress from arguing with Rainbow Dash over that ticket.
"Aw, shucks, Twi. Ain't no thang. Free of charge! Anythin' at all for my beeest frieeend, after all!" Must. Resist. Wiggling. Eyebrows. Can't come on too strong.
"That's so sweet of you, AJ! Thank you, really. I appreciate the favor. Spike?" Upon being called, he takes the hint and hitches himself up to the wagon. "I'll just keep the wagon, then. I'm sure you don't have any use for a sticky, food-coated mess, anyways." And without so much as a backwards glance, she walks away, Spike hurriedly following after her.
Eyes wide, Applejack stands in the middle of the road wondering what to make of the interaction she just had with Ponyville's librarian.
On the walk back home, she notices ponies starting to run about with a panicked air, shuttering windows and pulling in welcome mats. The only relatively calm-looking ones are those with hats, coats, and...umbrellas...she has just enough time to glance back at the uncovered wagon full of piping hot pastries before lightning arcs through the sky, thunder booming a split second later, and fat raindrops begin to pelt her.
...
Why isn't she wet.
She looks up directly at the sky - now full of dark grey clouds, though no less fluffy than their white counterparts - and finds Rainbow Dash (badly) hiding behind a hole in them. She looks like she's expecting another...volume incident.
"Rainbow Dash!" When she calls out, though, she only yells loudly enough to be heard over the sound of rain against various surfaces, and to make up for the distance. In response, the pegasus flies down to greet her with an expression that's almost half as apologetic as it should be. It quickly fades into a sleazy grin more befitting of a used car salespony.
"Hey there best friend forever that I've everever had!" She gives Twilight an almost too-strong hug, quickly backing off when she notices that the unicorn is unable to breathe from the force of her embrace.
"So, are you responsible for my meal and I not being soaked right now?" Her voice is perfectly neutral. It could even be interpreted as friendly, or even grateful, if somepony wanted to.
The athlete being addressed nods her head so fast that something rattles around in her skull. "Of course! I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a path in the clouds for you while you walk back to the Golden Oaks Library!"
Twilight Sparkle gives the other mare a smile that's...distinctly off, but inexplicably so. She doesn't care enough to fix that. "Thank you, Rainbow Dash! I appreciate the favor. Well, have a nice day. I'll contact you when I've made my decision. I'd like to be alone, now. Spike and I were in the middle of a particularly invigorating conversation, and I'm afraid it was quite private." Once again, she doesn't bother to wait for a response, nor does she look back as she walks past the pegasus, Spike straining to pull the heavy wagon fast enough to keep up with her.
She blinks once. Twice. Once she's sure she's flown far up enough that the unicorn won't hear her, she mumbles to herself, "What was that all about...?"
Despite Rainbow Dash's oh-so-generous favor, the wind blows enough that she's quite damp once she's within sight of her home. She can't find it in herself to care. The scent of those apple-flavored goods has been tormenting her for this entire walk, and she can't wait to dig in! Unfortunately, somepony does care that her coat is damp, and perfectly manicured hooves flash into her vision for just long enough to yank her into the Carousel Boutique before the door is slammed shut.
She decides to shake herself dry like a dog, instead of asking for a towel. If Rarity didn't want to get wet, she shouldn't have grabbed a wet pony and pulled her inside.
When her head stops spinning from the act, she finds Rarity somehow dripping wet, even though she herself had only been damp. Strange. Either way, she pulls together a convincing enough sheepish smile, topped off with a soft, regretful little "Sorry!" to complete the facade. She wonders what the fashionista will pull in a desperate attempt to gain her favor.
"Oh, it's quite alright! After all," she says while drying herself off with a monogrammed towel before flinging it into the nearby laundry hamper so that she can focus all of her energy into cuddling right up against Twilight, "we are the best of friends, are we not?"
In less than ten minutes, she's decked out in a gorgeous outfit, composed of Equestria's finest and rarest textiles and crafted together by Ponyville's most talented seamstress, decorated with just enough gems to enhance but not overwhelm the eyes with the sparkle. As Rarity tightens the corset on the back, then attaches the accompanying saddle, she picks out a glass bead necklace from the drawer that the other unicorn had directed her towards, and puts it around her neck. The cool weight is comforting, and it really does compliment the outfit. Not something she'd wear every day, but she can definitely see the appeal in dressing up all pretty every now and then.
As Rarity once again enters her fantasy world, however, she gently presses a hoof to the other's lips and offers an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Rarity, but I really have to get going home now. I'm starving. I've got that wagon full of goodies waiting for me. Plus, Spike looks bored to tears!" She turns around, flicking her masterfully coiffed tail just to enjoy the silken-smooth feel of it against the backs of her legs and rather enjoying the feel of silk and lace upon her fur. Yes, she really could get used to being spoiled like this.
"O- Oh, of course, darling!" Covered in sweat, her own mane frazzled, mascara smudged and one false eyelash dangerously close to falling off, for once in her life, Rarity cannot even begin to compare to Twilight's beauty. 'But,' she thinks to herself, 'it will be all worth it when I get that ticket! It's SURE to be mine now.' Though, her vanity does force her to at least begin gingerly patting the worst of the sweat off of her brow with a silk hoofkerchief. "See you at the Gala, then?" She says it in a half-joking tone, doing her best to avoid coming off as too pushy. She doesn't want to ruin her chances, not after coming so far!
"If I decide to give it to you, sure! You've got just as much chance as the others. I really appreciate the favors all the same, though." If she can hear Rarity's heart shattering, she either doesn't hear it or doesn't care as she exits Carousel Boutique and resumes walking to the massive tree that she calls home.
When she opens the doors to the Golden Oaks Library, she's not nearly as surprised to see Fluttershy singing and dusting off the already-immaculate shelves as she might have been if the stress hadn't snapped her mind earlier. All she does is ignore the pegasus, unhitch Spike from the wagon, sit down at her kitchen table, and begin mowing down everything from the wagon indiscriminately. Halfway through, she leans back in her chair to let out a burp loud enough that Spike takes it as a challenge, and that leads to a belching competition that leaves half of the kitchen either scorched or completely ashed. By the end of their meal, the wagon is entirely emptied out, crumbs and all - thanks to Spike's disconcertingly long tongue - and it's in pristine condition. It looks to be brand-new, too. It must have cost the Apple family quite a bit of money.
"Fluttershy? Would you be a dear and clean this mess up for me?" Though her voice is nothing but friendly, there is just a hint of vindictive pleasure that shines through in her eyes as she sees Fluttershy fly in only to drop to her hooves at the sight of the partially-destroyed room.
"O- O-Oh, um, of- of c-course...!" Offering Twilight a weak smile, she gets to work, scrubbing wholeheartedly at the scorch marks and removing maybe 10% of them before giving in to her frustrated, helpless tears and simply sweeping up the piles of ash that she can deal with.
Twilight lets her keep at it until well past sundown, until finally she uses a bit of her new nifty stealth magic to fix everything while Fluttershy's in the restroom. While the...grateful...smile she gives the other mare is nothing but kind, there's a certain glint in her eyes that dares the shy pegasus to say something about the fact that Twilight just let her toil and suffer for several hours for absolutely no reason.
She doesn't say anything.
It's as she opens the door to let Fluttershy out that she sees her four other...acquaintances...on her doorstep, Applejack's hoof raised as if she had just been about to knock. All of them look like they're about to burst with anxious anticipation.
"Hello, girls! Did you need something?"
For some odd reason, everypony seems almost afraid to bring up the ticket again. Despite this, Rainbow Dash steps forwards, her chest puffed out - as if she's trying to fake her bravery until she believes it to truly exist - as she blurts out, "So, who's the lucky gal?!"
"Ohh, you're here about that!" She puts a hoof up to her chin, brow furrowing as she looks up at some meaningless point in the sky in a quite convincing approximation of deep thought. After several moments, she puts her hoof down, and returns her gaze to lock eyes with all five of the ponies she'd been harassed and borderline stalked by all day long.
"Spike. Goodnight!"
And with that, she slams the door shut, locks it, and turns to find Spike smiling up at her hopefully, a very worn copy of Burnferno: Warrior From Within clutched tightly within his claws.
"Again, Spike?" Despite the "reprimanding" words, there's a fond laugh in her voice.
"It never gets old!"
Another soft chuckle escapes her. "If you say so. C'mon, let's get you tucked into bed, and I'll read it for you. Do you want me to do the voices again?"
Outside, all five ponies remain frozen in shock, unable to process what just happened. Slowly, their manes begin to fall off, hair by hair.
Their wigs have been snatched.