//------------------------------//
// Epilogue 
// Story: Ranger Takes on Equestria 
// by I aint no damn brownie 
//------------------------------//

I crawled into my bed, pulling the covers lazily over me. Fuck.. I’m tired.

I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat in some sort of ballroom. 

I was wearing a nice tuxedo, and there was classical music playing. The ballroom didn’t house many tables, just this one. I was gripping a glass of wine.

I took a sip. No taste. This is a dream, isn’t it?

“That it is, Trent.” I heard someone say. Turning to meet the mystery person, I saw Princess Luna.

But..

She was wearing a dress. It was dark purple in color, and it went well with her coat. Her mane was still it’s usual clear and blue sparkles, but it looked wavier. The dress was simplistic in design.. but it fit her perfectly. She was.. damn, really? She was beautiful. There.

“W-well? What do you think?” She said, blushing. 

“Uh... never thought I’d say this about a pony, but you’re.. stunning.” I breathed out. 

Fuck, my life has gone down the shitter. First thing, I get enlisted in the marines when I’m eighteen. They send me on this mission when I’m only twenty-two, and I end up being the last one left. I kill hundreds of monsters, and two big ones. On my way home I take the wrong slipgate and end up in some forest, where I’m now in an alternate dimension. I get blasted into someone’s bed, I take a job, changelings invade, we win the fight, and now..? I’m calling a horse pretty.

Okay, maybe I exaggerated. Calling Luna pretty wasn’t really that weird. After all, it’s not like she was a horse from earth. She’s intelligent, has free will, and can talk. She just looks like a pony.

And really, the inside is what matters, Yeah?

“Trent..? Are you alright? You’ve been staring at me for two minutes now.” Luna said, batting the floor with a hoof.

I snapped back to reality. “Oh, yeah! I’m fine. Anyway.. what is all this?”

“Oh! Uh.. would thou.. be interested in uh... willyoudancewithUs?” She said quickly.

I raised an eyebrow. “Dance? Like, the Macarena? Or like a slow dance.”

“Uh... slow dance..?” She chuckled.

Okay, let’s weigh my options. Dance with Luna, and be an almost Zoophile. Or don’t dance with her and break her heart.

It doesn’t really count, does it? She’s an intelligent species. If aliens existed, humans would definitely fuck them, and I don’t think that would be zoophilia. So.. this is fine, right? 

“Uh.. Okay. Sure.”

She put her hooves together. “Wonderful! DJ!”

The music changed. It was more fitting for slow-dancing now. I looked around, but didn’t see a DJ. Dream magic.

I walked up to Luna slowly.

“I’ve.. uh.. never actually danced with anybody before.” I admitted. 

Luna nodded. “Neither have We.”

“Neither have I.”I corrected, snickering slightly. She blushed and playfully hit me.

She stood up on her hind legs and grabbed my shoulder with one hoof. With the other, she put it on my hip. I grabbed her barrel with one hand, and put the other on her shoulder. 

“Is this how we do it?” Luna asked.

“Maybe? I don’t know. I’m clueless here.” I replied. 

Luna started moving slowly. 

Eventually, we got into the groove of the music. Our movements weren’t super fluid, but sometimes we had a good thing going. And then one of us would mess it up. There would be no hard feelings about it, we were both just having fun.

I twirled her around, which kind of worked. She wasn’t used to standing on two legs. 

But the spin did work.

After dancing for a couple more minutes, Luna looked into my eyes. I looked back.

She leaned in slowly. Wait.. what is she-

She put her lips against mine.

Initially, I tried to pull away. But.. I slowly found myself enjoying it. Her lips were soft, but they were slightly furry. It wasn’t the weirdest kiss I’ve ever had. 

This is weird.

But sometimes...

Weird isn’t so bad.

She pulled away, blushing hard. 

“Oh, We’re sorry! We didn’t- uh, We didn’t mean to- Sorry!” She tried to explain herself.

I put a finger over her lips, shutting her up. 

“I don’t care. I.. actually kinda liked it.”

Her eyes widened and she smiled. 

“Really..? This... this is wonderful news!” She yelled, her royal Canterlot voice shining through. I held my ears in pain.

“Oh, sorry!” She giggled.

“Don’t worry about it.” I chuckled.

We stood in silence for a little bit, until Luna spoke up.

“Trent?” She spoke softly.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being my hero.”

She leaned in, her lips touching mine once more.

I can get used to this.



Good Ending