"So this teacher gloated about world domination?" Rarity asked uneasily. The Rainbooms sat at their usual spot in the cafeteria. They used the window of lunchtime to talk about their pressing issue: Timmy Turner.
"Yes," Sunset Shimmer said with exhaustion, "new world order, offering me a chance to rule at his side, yadda yadda yadda."
"He sounds like a loonie," Rainbow muttered with disdain.
"Like a real meanie," Fluttershy remarked.
"Like Sunset, before she became our friend," Pinkie Pie replied.
"Yeah, I guess," Sunset said with some shame. "Anyways, I didn't like the evil look in his eye. It was the evil look in my eye."
"Does he know about the portal?" Applejack asked Sunset with serious eyes.
"If he knew, I think he would probably gloat about it, and about how he was going to conquer all of Equestria," Sunset stated with a roll of her eyes. Her friends began snickering. "In all seriousness, he didn't suspect me of being anything but a normal person, but knew Timmy had... something that he wanted me to capture."
"But how could he know?" Rainbow asked Sunset.
"I'm guessing he notices the strange things that happen around Timmy," Sunset said. "And just chalks it up to magic."
"Should we be watching out for him?" Rainbow followed up.
"We shouldn't rule him out completely," Sunset concluded, "but Timmy's principal, a nice lady, says he's harmless."
"Alright," Rainbow said. "Now on to the more important question..."
"Soup or salad?" Pinkie Pie asked, holding up both dishes in her hand.
"No," Rainbow said, "did Timmy act....like...evil?"
"Well no, he was really, really nervous at first."
"In the 'hiding something' kind of way?" Applejack asked, her green eyes trained to tell fibs from facts.
"No," Sunset said, "more like...the afraid of me kind of way."
"I think we know why," Rainbow murmured. Sunset questioned whether that was the case, but kept it to herself.
"Anyways, I did get him to open up to me," Sunset said. "And he did act like...a brat sometimes. But he seemed like a nice kid other times. He liked pizza and comic books." Sunset felt a happy grin form on her face. "He's also really good and video games."
"Aww," Pinkie Pie cooed, "Timmy-Wimmy's like your wittle baby brother." The other Rainbooms gave her teasing looks.
"No he isn't," Sunset said with a blush. "He's just a kid I babysit."
"I love Scootaloo," Rainbow gushed, "but I've always wanted a little bro."
"Take mine, please," Fluttershy said with annoyance.
"No thanks," Rainbow said with greeted teeth.
"I don't see any sign of the Stone of Desire clouding his mind. Yet.”
"Well that's good," Rarity said, "hopefully we can keep things that way until Twilight can finish the rune."
Sunset decided to go pick up Timmy from school on her motorbike. Since her mission involved building a relationship with the kid, it was important she hit the ground running and give him a ride home. Sunset parked her motorcycle and walked into the playground. She saw the kids assembled around something. She came across a truly ridiculous sight.
Timmy was riding around on a white horse while dressed in a medieval barding. He also had roses in his hand. Sunset already knew where that stuff came from, and had an idea of what he was trying to do. She let out an annoyed sigh.
"Onward noble steed!" Timmy commanded the newly-acquired horse. "This has got to be the best way to impress Trixie," Timmy said to Cosmo and Wanda, who were disguised as his helmet and his sword respectively. Timmy approached the popular girl, sitting astride her domain in her usual spot at the popular table.
"Fair maiden," Timmy said to Trixie, "wouldst thou join me, the Great Knight, upon the journey of love?" He extended his open hand to her.
"Alas," Trixie said, looking away from Timmy while manicuring her own nails, "a dork by any other name is still a dork."
"But-," Timmy began.
"SECURITY!" Trixie wailed. The fuschia brickhouse of a man slapped the horse on the hide, sending it to go scurrying. Unable to regain control, Timmy slid off the saddle and face-planted into the Kentucky Bluegrass. Everyone in the playground started to laugh.
With a tired sigh, Timmy walked away, feeling utterly humiliated by his latest rejection. After a quick wish in the bushes, he managed to poof away his armor and grass stains, and regain his red backpack.
"What went wrong?" Timmy asked Cosmo.
"Maybe the horse was too light!" Cosmo said.
"I'm gonna go with the medieval language and trying to act like a character in a storybook," Wanda said with an edge in her sympathetic voice. With a sigh, Timmy left the bushes. He saw the reassuring smile of Sunset as he approached the playground fence, and his mood lightened considerably.
"Rough day?" Sunset asked, opening the fence so Timmy could leave.
"Yeah," Timmy said, "I got rejected."
"Who's the unlucky gal?" Sunset asked with a smirk.
"Trixie Tang," Timmy said wistfully, "the most beautiful creature in existence." Sunset rolled her eyes at the shallow crush.
"Where did you get all that stuff?" Sunset said.
"Um, Internet," Timmy replied, his eyes darting back and forth.
Sunset put on a smirk. "Works for me. Anything else happen today?"
"I got a quiz grade back." Timmy said miserably.
"And?" Timmy angrily pulled out his quiz. A big red "F" was on it.
"An 'F' ?" Sunset said with disgust. "How did you get an 'F'?"
"Because Crockpot assigns us surprise pop quizzes," Timmy muttered angrily, "and instead of teaching us, he spends his time lecturing us about his new world order."
"How does that guy keep his job?" Sunset asked with disdain.
"Tenure." Timmy said.
"Oh," Sunset said. Timmy angrily grabbed the test paper, rolled it into a ball and glared at it. "And what was the subject he covered today?"
"We were supposed to be studying multiplication," Timmy said with disgust.
"Don't worry," Sunset met his eyes. "I'll be your tutor."
"Really?"
A confident smile formed on Sunset's face. "Trust me within 30 minutes, I'll have you getting multiplication."
"I still don't get," Timmy said with exhaustion. Sunset tried to force a patient smile on her face. But she still couldn't get Timmy to understand multiplication. They had gone through dozens of problems and papers, and he still didn't understand multiplication.
"It's hopeless," Timmy muttered.
"Let's just," Sunset said with a sigh, "take a break, and clear our heads. That should help."
"Whatever," Timmy said sadly, walking outside of the room. Sunset felt disappointed in herself. Despite having the best teacher ever, Sunset was not a good tutor herself. With a sigh of sadness, Sunset followed Timmy outside. He was in another part of the backyard working on something.
"Hey Timmy," Sunset asked, "maybe we should-," she paused as she saw what was in the back. A mini-golf course. To her confusion, she saw Timmy hammering something.
"I didn't know you did mini-golf," Sunset said.
"You didn't ask," Timmy retorted.
"When did you get this?" Sunset said.
"I built it."
"Really," Sunset said with some awe. She looked at the designs. The construction was pretty amateur, with the various courses in disrepair. But the layout was so good, it almost looked like professional mini-golf course.
"I tried to get out of a project," Timmy said with a sheepish smile, "and had to do this to get out of trouble."
"Well it’s pretty OK," Sunset said with sincerity.
"Shh," Timmy said, working on some mini-windmill, "I need to measure the dimensions exactly right," Timmy said holding up a ruler, "they need to be precisely 3ft, by 6ft, by 9ft."
Sunset's eyes narrowed. "Wait, what did you say?"
"The part about dimensions?"
"Timmy," Sunset said with a smile, "that's math!"
"Really," Timmy said. "I thought math was just boring numbers."
"Oh Timmy," Sunset said with a smirk, "everything is math."
"It is?"
NOTE: The song is sung to the tune "Non-Stop" from Hamilton.
Sunset Shimmer
Whether you’re keeping score,
Or taking a swing after saying 'fore'
That's math.
Timmy Turner
Really?
Sunset Shimmer
When you're getting your paycheck,
Or getting a rain check,
That's math.
Timmy Turner
You're just kidding me.
Sunset Shimmer
Whether your adding or dividing,
Whether running or flying,
Those weird numbers,
Get you the answers you're finding.
Timmy Turner
So what do I do?
Sunset Shimmer
What do you like?
Timmy Turner
Riding my bike.
Sunset Shimmer
What else, what else?
C'mon, don't be lame.
Timmy Turner
I like a nice golf game,
Sunset Shimmer
What other thing do you like to give a look?
Timmy Turner
A Crimson Chin comic book.
Sunset Shimmer
We've got your hook.
If you have ten bikes, each in three lots?
How many bikes, do you got?
Timmy Turner
30 bikes.
Sunset Shimmer
Good job.
Now there are ten golf players, each seven clubs,
How many clubs among the schlubs?
Timmy Turner
Seventy.
Sunset Shimmer
Great job.
Final Question.
There are 8 Chins for every 7 Kneecaps.
What's the answer, give me the recap.
Timmy Turner
Fifty-six.
Sunset Shimmer
Fantastic!
Now remember this motto,
It is really hard, but you got to.
Timmy Turner
OK.
Sunset Shimmer
Whether your adding or dividing,
Whether running or flying,
Those weird numbers,
Get you the answers you're finding.
If you work hard and try,
You get buy,
My little guy.
Timmy Turner
Can we get French Fries?
Sunset Shimmer
If you pass the class.
Once again, Crocker was passing out freshly baked grades for his random pop quizzes.
"Well children," Crocker said with a nasty grin, "I once again have all your results. And except for A.J., you've all gotten... Fs."
"Aww," the class groaned.
"I love seeing all your children fail at everything," Crocker sang with glee, handing out each failed quiz.
"Well Turner," Crocker said, walking up to a very smug pink-hated boy. "I have your test grade and-," Crocker looked at his test grade.
"This can't be?" Crocker exclaimed with shock. "It is a-," he looked again. "B"
Everyone in class gasped in shock.
"Minus." Crocker glared at Turner suspiciously. "This can only be the work of-,"
"Fairy Godparents," the class groaned.
"I was gonna say 'a good tutor'," Crocker said, "but since you all broke the ice-FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS! FAIRY GODPARENTS!"
…
…..
…….
"Part of me wants to fail you anyways," Crocker said with a glare, "but as your teacher, I am nominally supposed to support your success."
"Which means?" Timmy asked with a cocky grin.
"Congratulations Turner," Crocker said grudgingly, placing the passing test on Timmy's desk. "But don't expect your luck to last. It only gets harder from here."
"Thank you sir," Timmy said overtly politely to stick it in Crocker's craw even more, happy that he finally got a passing grade.