//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Apples May Bloom // Story: Closer To The Heart // by ClandestineWing //------------------------------// “I kinda’ figured you’d be the only one who truly understands my dilemma. Everypony else has been treating me like I’m crazy. To tell ya’ the truth, I’m mighty shocked; I feel like I’m the only one who isn’t crazy.” “You know you can always talk to me about anything, Applejack.” Twilight Sparkle said as she descended the stairs from her throne. The throne became bathed in orange sunlight upon the purple alicorn stepping down from it. “So what’s the problem?” “Meeting adjourned, Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Apple Bloom’s young southern voice proudly declared from her podium, stamping her hoof into it in place of a gavel. She claimed before it made their meetings more “official” that way. “But Apple Bloom,” an orange pegasus objected with her hoof raised, “we didn’t do any diaper practice.” The white unicorn standing next to her concurred and objected as well. “Yeah, Brightside and Clover Petal can’t expect us to be foalsitters if we can’t even change their foals’ diapers.” Apple Bloom’s smile faded shamefully. Two earth pony parents with earth pony twins, both parents had day jobs, which was uncommon for a simple town like Ponyville, therefore the opportunity to babysit foals who didn’t have a stay-at-home parent was rare. “I’m awful sorry, girls.” Apple Bloom replied. “I didn’t tell Applejack yet. I promise I’ll get her to show me soon. Promise~” The young earth pony let her pearly whites show with that last statement. “Hopefully soon. I don’t want to try asking Rarity again.” Sweetie Belle dreaded the very thought of sitting through another one of Rarity’s fashion ramblings; once Sweetie told her sister who the foals were, Rarity had a tsunami of ideas. Sweetie learned a lot about picking out diapers matching and contrasting with coats, as well as adding colorful diaper covers and accents on matching booties and onesies, but learned zip about actually changing a diaper. “Relax, Sweetie Belle.” Scootaloo chimed in. “We have plenty of time to learn. Apple Bloom always pulls through for us.” The orange pegasus then leaned into Sweetie and placed a hoof gently on her. “You worry too much.” “I… I know.” Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom let her smile wipe away again and placed a hoof nervously behind her head as her eyes trailed to the floor. “Next time, right Apple Bloom?” “Uhm, yeah.” Apple Bloom bravely put on a smile. “Next meeting, I promise.” The young earth pony had a roller coaster of emotions on her walk home after watching Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle fight over who’d walk whom home. She had to feign a smile and keep her feelings reserved, like she normally did. She had to be happy for her friends because that’s what good friends do, right? No matter how isolated she grew every time seeing them peck or hug each other, no matter how much more of a third wheel she felt being around them, they were all best friends, and she wouldn’t want that to change for anything. But regardless of her two best friends dating one another, she let them down; she was afraid if she started teaching them how to put on a diaper, they’d find out about something Apple Bloom never told a single soul and planned to take to her grave. Most opportunities to express herself throughout her life were thwarted by the fear of being found out. She was deathly afraid of babysitting the foals in the first place; when Sweetie Belle proposed them to do so, Apple Bloom could only think about being stuck in a moment of weakness and getting caught gawking at diapers. It was always diapers it came back to. “I’ll lose my friends if they find out about my diaper fetish. My family will disown me if they find out I like to act like a foal. Why am I like this!?” Apple Bloom stared down at the folded foal diaper that lay before her on her bed. She was dismayed, tempted to put it right back in her drawer and just put it out of her head for the rest of the night. She gave a heavy sigh through her nostrils, but the sigh helped her remember the pacifier inhibiting her ability to flap her lips or anything of the like reactionarily to the silly notion of putting on a diaper. The baby pink pacifier bobbed back and forth with her suckling. She felt more relaxed as she wrapped her tongue around its nipple, and every suckle reminded her that she was incomplete. The fluffy white pant stared back at her, decorated in cute little prints of balloons and sailboats with smiley faces, tantalizing her. She unfolded it and lay on it back-flat, then let her hooves pull it over her groin. She couldn’t keep from smiling, feeling the diaper warmly wrapping around such a sensitive area. It felt like it was protecting her more than it was protecting the obvious from the obvious. With the diaper now taped around her waist, she lay flat on her bed. Crinkles tickled her ears and made her squeamishly kick her hind legs. Every suckle of her pacifier and every crinkle of her diaper helped her into her self-induced hypnosis. She felt like a little foal. All her reservations about diapering up disappeared because in the moment, it felt natural to her. Like this was how she was meant to be. Apple Bloom glanced at the mirror on her door, but never had it called out to her to look at herself while in her special space. Crinkles shuffled out loudly from beneath her as she stood herself out of her bed. The mirror was small and only showed her face and a light peak of the diaper around her flank. She usually dreaded looking at the mirror while indulging herself in this, but orange eyes contrasted with her pink bow and matching pink pacifier. She looked cute. She felt cute. It then conveniently occurred to her that the outhouse was a whole story down and outside, and she would need to take off her diaper to get past her family to get to it. “Shoot, already? I just put this thing on. I really shouldn’t be doing this. Not while they’re all home.” She thought to herself as she turned away from the mirror. Despite her mind not quite agreeing, her pupils shrank and she felt herself release with minimal effort. Silently, she let her diaper fill. She was genuinely surprised she was messing so easily, and so fast; as easily as it came to her, so quick was it to be over as well. A light crinkle gave way to the warm mulch finding its place in her diaper. A smile peeked out from behind her pacifier and she crawled up onto her bed. Her suckling grew stronger in response to her fresh deed shifting around with her movement. She began to gently lower her diapered rump onto her bed. She felt small enough messing a diaper, but she wanted to assure herself that she was as small as she felt. It was a fantastic feeling, the fresh mush pressing against her plot, but she couldn’t bring herself to sit down fully, like she was slightly scared of it. She threw herself into her pillow and lay on her back upright against the head of her bed; the mush didn’t press against her, but lying comfortably like that was fine enough. She probably could’ve had a nap like that. She almost did… She did… From black to suddenly blurred vision, Apple Bloom hoisted herself out of her sleep and she scrambled onto her hooves, but her door was already opening and her older sister was walking right in. “Apple Bloom, didn’t ya’ hear the bell?” Applejack stood stiff upon seeing her little sister frozen with wide eyes and a fierce blush peeking from behind her pacifier. “Is that diaper… Used?” Apple Bloom felt too paralyzed to even speak. Applejack gave a deep inhale through her nose to calm herself, realizing it was a mistake and coughing at the mild stench. “Change out of that, wash your hooves extra good, and come down for dinner.” Apple Bloom practically sprinted back up to her room after dinner. Sitting at the table with her family, utterly mortified, wondering if Applejack told Granny and Big Mac too. All the speculation taxed the poor preteen filly. She felt like she was thinking about everything but thought about nothing. Dinner was agonizingly slow, and she couldn’t even taste the food. She went to bed that night feeling like her life was all over. Granny Smith and Big Mac sat on the living room couch before a pacing Applejack who had just told them what she saw. The initial ambiguity of Applejack calling them together made Granny worry about Apple Bloom, but she was relieved soon after; her preteen grandchild wearing diapers for fun was a little silly, but kids will be kids. The old coot wasn’t stupid though; she knew this was going to rub Applejack wrong. “...So what?” Granny Smith said, wanting to know where Applejack was going with this, almost with a bit of scorn in her tone. “‘So what’? Granny, this ain’t good! It ain’t right! Not right at all!” “Ah hooey, Applejack. So what if it’s a little weird? She’s gettin’ older. Who are we to stop her if she likes to act like a foal once in a while?” “We’re her family, Granny!” Applejack said. “We gotta’ do something because we’re her family! This ain’t something we should be condoning!” “We’ve raised Apple Bloom right. We’ve raised her to be a hard-workin’ Apple, and we’ve raised her to keep a good head on her shoulders, and gosh darnit, you can’t say these things makin’ it sound like we’ve failed at that!” “Granny, you don’t understand-” “You don’t understand, missy!” Granny stood herself off the couch and against Applejack. “This is your little sister you’re talking about. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with her and you’re actin’ like she needs a doctor or some-” “No! No doctors!” Applejack said, strongly waving one of her front hooves. “No doctors, no nurses, no nurse practitioners! She just needs our help to get her over this- This diaper phase!” “I’d say the best thing to do is to just leave her to it.” “Granny, we can’t just do that. If we leave her with this, she’ll be trying on diapers until she’s your age. We need to do something now to help her!” “Applejack, I’ve been around the block for a long time. This kinda’ thing ain’t something you can take away from somepony; it’s harder than buckin’ a tree out the ground. But Apple Bloom is still Apple Bloom, and ain’t nothin’ gonna’ change that.” “No Granny, you don’t understand and you can’t understand because you never met him!” Big Mac was originally planning for them to start arguing over each other before interjecting. He was taken by surprise at Applejack and Granny Smith just glaring into each other’s eyes with furled brows, but he was taken by a greater surprise at Applejack’s vitriolic mention of him. The stallion was forced to break the silence. “Applejack, that’s just plain wrong.” “Big Mac, you know I’m right.” Applejack stared at her older brother, her eyes practically pleading for him to see things her way. “You know first hoof what he’s capable of. You know he tried to kill me and my friends. And you know he had this very same fetish!” “You should be mighty ashamed of yourself comparin’ your little sister to Mind Fission!” “Big Mac, just listen to me. He was alone. He was alone for a long time-” “Apple Bloom is perfectly normal and perfectly fine, and this conversation’s over, Applejack. Good night.” Applejack didn’t want the discussion to end there. Despite having much more to say, she felt too defeated to say any of it. Big Mac and Granny Smith made the stairs creak profusely on their way up, doors opened and closed, and Applejack was standing in a silent living room with a sea of noisy thoughts. Apple Bloom creeped down the stairs and peered into the kitchen, her eyes darting around, catching no sight of anyone other than Big Mac at the dining table and Granny Smith at the stove. Granny Smith turned from the stove and greeted Apple Bloom with a very pleasant “‘Morning, Apple Bloom”. “Where’s Applejack?” “She’s been apple buckin’ since sun-up.” “You guys think I’m crazy, don’t you?” “Nnnnnope.” Big Mac said with a trusting gaze and smile. “If ya’ ask me, your sister’s the crazy one around here, but don’t tell her I said that.” Granny Smith said, reaching out a gentle caring hoof toward Apple Bloom and placing it on her. “As far as we’re concerned, you enjoy your day at school and worry none about this. I understand it’s not as simple as I’m making it sound, but there ain’t really none to fret about.” “Thanks, you guys.” Apple Bloom reached for a slice of toast on the table. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that, really. I’m meeting the girls early, so I’m gonna’ head out to school now.” With a piece of buttered toast halfway into her muzzle, she headed toward the front door, which opened before her with an orange earth pony standing before her. Applejack’s eyes were darkened by a rough early morning and a bucket full of apples dropped beside her. “Headin’ out a little early, ain’t ya’?” Apple Bloom attempted to shove the rest of the toast in her already full mouth. “...Have a good day at school, sis.” “Y- Yeah, I’ll try.” She said while covering her mouth to keep crumbs from spewing out and ran past Applejack. Applejack closed the front door behind her and clipped her hooves along the living room floor into the kitchen. “You finally came to your senses, did ya’?” “No, Granny. I’m just letting her off the hook until I can figure out what we should do with her.” Applejack only received disapproving silence in response, to which she gave a heavy sigh. “I think I’m gonna’ lie down for a bit. That early morning apple bucking got me more sideways than a cat in the bathtub.” “Oh, uhm, hi Applejack. I wasn’t expecting you.” “Yeah, I’m in a bit of a conundrum at the moment. I hope I ain’t botherin’ ya’.” “Oh no, not at all.” Fluttershy proceeded to let Applejack into her cottage, shutting the door behind her. “I have a date with Discord in a bit, but I’m always here for my friends.” “So, you’d agree that if you thought your friend, more particularly your family, was going down a bad path, you’d do your best to steer them off from it?” “Oh definitely.” “I just don’t know what I’m gonna’ do.” “What happened?” “Apple Bloom’s about to ruin her life and Granny and Big Mac are acting like I’m crazy for wanting to do something about it.” “Well Applejack, fillies are more impressionable, especially at her age. Sometimes, we can’t just tell them what to do and expect them to listen, they need to be shown what to learn so that they actually remember it.” “That… Plumb makes sense. I never thought about it before, Fluttershy, but I reckon all that animal experience of yours is well-suited for more than just animals.” “Mind Fission really helped me connect with my animals better. I didn’t think he’d know as much about animal psychology as he did. “Advice from Fission on how to get creatures to do what you say; fitting.” Applejack forced a smile, a smile that in turn forced a chuckle out of Fluttershy. The pegasus was appalled at herself for that; she didn’t find that funny at all. “So, uhm, what kind of trouble has Apple Bloom been getting into?” “I mean, there ain’t no real trouble yet, but when you stumble upon a girl Apple Bloom’s age in a soiled diaper, you know somethin’s up.” “Oh dear~” Fluttershy said with a hoof to her muzzle. “Yeah…” “Well, that is a bit odd. But phew,” Fluttershy said in relief, “I’m glad Apple Bloom is alright. But still, I don’t know what I’d do if I got caught doing something like that.” “Exactly Fluttershy. See, I can’t help but fear the worst about it. The last pony we knew who liked wearing diapers for fun put all of Equestria in jeopardy.” “Now Applejack,” Fluttershy replied, her tone firmer, “I don’t think you’re being fair.” Applejack then blinked a couple times. “Oh come on, not you too, Fluttershy.” The orange mare then recoiled from a white flash from behind Fluttershy. “Have you been spying on us!?” Applejack flared at Discord. “Oh, I’ve been listening the whole time, but my ears didn’t prick up until that jab at Fission earlier. Oh, I just love juicy gossip. Hey Twilight, did you hear Applejack wants us to start turning our enemies to stone again?” “I never said anything like that!” “There’s no need to say it,” Discord said as two black markers with wings appeared from a white flash and started scribbling on Applejack, “it’s written all over your face.” Applejack quickly flailed her hoof to shoo away the markers and wiped her face clean. “Now listen you-” “That’s enough, you two!” Fluttershy interjected. “Discord, we talked about instigating. And Applejack, I have plans with Discord today. We can talk about this another day, but I suggest you seriously adjust your attitude before you talk to your sister about this.” “Why is this even a discussion when it should be a straight-forward decision?” “Please come back when you’re a little calmer, Applejack.” Discord said, pressing his middle and thumb claws together. “I’m not done-” Applejack blinked in reaction to a reverberating snap of Discord’s fingers “talking yet!” Applejack found herself in the middle of Ponyville’s town square. Her family being unlike themselves, Fluttershy being assertive toward her, which she usually reserved for when it was necessary. She shook her head as popping springs in her mind gave way in her trying to make sense of it all. “I’m going crazy just telling you all this. My family’s against me and Fluttershy’s all confrontational about it. I figure if anypony knows where I’m coming from, it’s you, Twilight. Please don’t tell me I’m wrong.” “Applejack,” Twilight responded, trying to be as neutral as possible, “you’re right to be concerned; this is something we still don’t know a lot about. But I can assure you that Apple Bloom is in good hooves. If you assure her that she is still loved and that it changes nothing between her and her family and friends, she’ll grow up to be a fine pony, just like her sister.” “Maybe that’s what Granny Smith was tryin’ to tell me. You really think she’ll snap out of this phase if we just treat her like we always have? Just forget this thing?” “Well, I don’t know if she’s ever going to stop being a foal-at-heart, but yeah. Just trust her, and just trust yourself. She’ll be fine.” “But Twilight, that doesn’t solve my dilemma. What’s it going to take for her to get past this foal thing?” “Applejack, this isn’t something she needs to get past.” “Twilight, the last pony we knew who liked wearing diapers for fun tried to take over the world! I don’t understand why I need to explain this to everypony!” “But the other three we knew did everything they could to stop him and succeeded.” “Wait, three!? Who in tarnation were the other two!?” “Not important. I don’t know why you’re being stubborn about this. It’s not right to generalize all foal-at-hearts as bad just because one pony made a mistake years ago.” “After what he did? After what SnowBlitz put us through to stop him, it’s not right for me to be concerned? Twilight, why did we turn Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Chrysalis to stone? Because they threatened Equestria. Because they threatened our home. And most importantly, they threatened our friends and family; they threatened who we love most. Where is the line drawn, Twilight? “The line is drawn when reformation doesn’t work. It’s always been that way. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clearly not as simple as that, Twilight.” “What do you want me to do, Applejack? Turn everypony who made a mistake into stone and never give them a second chance?” “Now you’re just twistin’ my words.” “And you’re just not listening to reason.” “I’m not listenin’ to reason!?” “How do you think Apple Bloom would feel if she heard you saying all this stuff? She’s struggling to understand this herself.” “There’s a lot we’re all strugglin’ to understand, Twilight. Like how two varmints who also have the same fetish doesn’t add up to anypony else.” “Applejack, what part of this don’t you get?” “Twilight-” “I’m serious. You’re one of my best friends. I take your opinions very seriously, especially since I’m running a country now, I have to take into account that you might not be the only pony who feels this way. Let’s help each other come to an understanding.” “The thing is” Applejack said, breaking eye contact with Twilight, “I thought you already understood. That’s why I came to you. Before, I wouldn’t have had to explain it to you, but you’ve changed, and now I don’t think you understand me at all.” She turned and started to let herself out. “Applejack, wait-” “I’ll see you later, Twilight.” Twilight watched her friend walk out into the orange sunlight and close the loud reverberating front door behind her. It would be on her mind for a while, but at the very least, Twilight could take solace in what she had planned later that evening. “Hey Rainbow, you ready to get settled in?” “I was actually about to ask if you wanted to go out for something to eat.” “Rainbow, I’ve been on my hooves all day. Is it alright if we order in?” “Pizza? I’m down for that too. Half pepperoni, half pepperoni and bacon?” “Two pizzas this time, actually. Oh, and a box of breadsticks. It was a pretty long day today.” Twilight said while shutting the door behind her. “You want to talk about it?” “Maybe later. But right now, I just want to decompress,” she actually hoped she could avoid talking about it the whole night, “and we can start with that by getting your little filly plot in a diaper. Something pink tonight~” Rainbow Dash tried not to laugh; Twilight was still a little nervous about talking like that, like she was trying to put Rainbow Dash in her place, but she was getting better. Rainbow Dash didn’t have much opportunity to protest, not that she would anyway. She embraced her fate and took Twilight into her room. Twilight had to smile at watching Rainbow walk up to her with all of her changing supplies and her pink onesie in her wing, and a matching blush enveloping her cheeks. Rainbow Dash lay back-flat on the floor, and let Twilight have at their usual diapering process. Twilight had gotten better and faster at the ritual, and even gained the courage to lightly tickle the pegasus with her magic. She had been visiting Rainbow to help her indulge in her AFDL side for longer than she originally intended. Rainbow stared down herself still blushing, too bashful to make eye contact with Twilight while she did it, but Twilight found it cuter that way. The alicorn’s purple hooves were coated in foal powder and massaging it into Rainbow’s area, which was then swiftly veiled by a thick white diaper with baby pink wings and leg gathers taped around her flanks. The pegasus let Twilight’s magenta magic take hold of her, and she was levitated to be slipped into the same pink onesie she’d been slipped into almost every time. “Hmm, the onesie is a little bit more snug this time.” Twilight gently stretched the foalish attire to secure the snaps. “Did you wash it?” “Oh uhm, yeah, I washed it earlier today.” Rainbow Dash said with her nose scrunched, still blushing brightly. “I, uhm, wanted to make sure it didn’t stink.” “Oh~” She hoped Rainbow didn’t catch that much enthusiasm slipping out and cleared her throat. “You want to talk about it?” “...You sure you want to know about that, Twilight?” “Well, I don’t need to know all the details. It’s just that it’s a huge thing to do, and I’m curious on how the thrill outweighs… You know…” Rainbow then stood to her hooves and cracked a smile at the crinkles produced. “Let me just order the pizza first.” The pegasus kept smiling; she was actually more thrilled to talk about it with Twilight than she anticipated. Twilight made herself comfortable on Rainbow’s couch, sprawling herself and resting her head on the arm, still trying to keep her conversation with Applejack out of her head, but she did wonder what Rainbow Dash, as a foal-at-heart herself, would feel about it all. She had to remind herself that this was Rainbow’s drama-free time, or at least that’s what Twilight respected it as. A gust of wind splashed Twilight as Rainbow flew over the couch and lowered herself onto it. Despite her soft landing, a roar of crinkles elicited from her diapered plot upon pressing against the couch cushion. Twilight sat herself up next to the pegasus and gently lowered Rainbow’s head into her lap. “So how did the first attempt go?” “Not gonna’ lie, it was pretty awesome. I was laying on the floor and just scribbling with crayons and sucking a pacifier. I wet my diaper a couple of times, which is already pretty awesome, especially when I’m in the little filly mood, like I’m completed or something. Messing was that times eleven. Cleaning up wasn’t fun, but honestly, it was worth it.” She finally looked up at Twilight, then back down at herself blushing. “I’m sorry, Twi. You probably think it’s gross.” “Rainbow, you’re fine. When you put it that way, and if you pretend it doesn’t smell bad, it’s actually kind of cute.” “Messing? Cute? You’re just saying that.” “No, I’m not. Fillies are cute, and it’s perfectly normal for them to do that. Who’s to say it isn’t normal for a foal-at-heart too?” “Well, when you put it that way.” “Mind Fission once told me the only gross thing about being a foal-at-heart is demonizing this part of yourself.” “What did Mind say about his first time?” “His first time messing? I never asked him about that.” “You didn’t? I thought this was part of your research.” “Well… I thought it was a bit too personal a question.” “Too personal? You’re already asking him questions about his fetish.” Rainbow said with a chuckle. “Well… That’s actually very true.” “I wonder how he’d react to you saying messing diapers is cute, though.” “What? I never said that~” Twilight said with a sudden blush. “You said exactly that, Twi.” They both shared a laugh, then Rainbow pushed herself off of Twilight’s lap, sitting herself up. “But seriously, Twi. I don’t think this is ‘research’ for you anymore.” “Oh, uhm…” “What’s going on, Twi?” “Well- No, it’s just- Okay, you caught me. I mean, you know how much my friends mean to me. I mean, I- I’m sorry. I’m in a million places right now.” “Hey, you told me before it’s okay to like this. Now I’m telling you: It’s okay to like this. And it’s okay to be confused about it.” “Well…” Twilight said with a blush. “Okay, I do like this a bit, but that’s not really what’s troubling me right now. Applejack was being really stubborn about something earlier today.” “What’s she being stubborn about this time?” “Applejack thinks her sister is ‘turning evil’ for lack of a better way of putting it.” “Why?” Rainbow said with an incredulous tone and a raised eyebrow. “Because Apple Bloom is a foal-at-heart too, and I tried to assure her there was nothing to worry about. But she’s convinced Apple Bloom is going to grow up and be so miserable that she’s going to end up doing what Mind did.” “Hmm…” Rainbow Dash leaned back into the couch. “I’m sorry, Rainbow. I didn’t mean to upset you.” “I’m not really upset. I mean, I didn’t choose to have a diaper fetish, you know. I wanted it to go away as soon as I found out. There are a lot more rough feelings that went into it than you think, Twi.” “I… Gee, Rainbow. I really don’t know what to think anymore. I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought I did, even after all our sessions.” Rainbow Dash turned her head toward her with a raised brow. “It’s not that big of a deal, Twilight.” “But it is to me.” “...Why?” “Because… Because… Rainbow Dash…” Twilight shied her gaze away. “I really like you, and I think we’re meant to be together.” Twilight blushed again and made eye-contact with the pegasus again. She was astonished it came out so fast. “Well, we have been spending a bit of time lately, and I love how much you’ve done for me. You’ve really helped me feel better about myself with this, and I don’t think there’s anypony else more awesome than you for that… But Twilight, I just don’t feel that way about you…” Rainbow Dash scolded herself in her head; she should’ve waited until the night was over. No, she should’ve just agreed to be Twilight’s marefriend just so Twilight would keep babying her. No, what was she thinking? She couldn’t do something so dirty to one of her best friends. She did the right thing, but she dreaded seeing Twilight hurt… But why did the thought of deceiving her even cross her mind at all? Has being a foal-at-heart really affected her that much? Or was she just overthinking it? “O- Oh…” Twilight said then cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, Twi. I mean, I love all this time we’re spending together, and I really love it, and you’re one of my best friends, but… I just don’t know about us…” “...Well, that’s okay.” “That’s okay?” Rainbow said skeptically. “Yeah. I just figured we could give us a shot since we’ve been spending so much time together, but I care about all my friends and care about them doing what they feel is best for them.” “...Well okay then, if you say so… So, Applejack?” “Right… I mean, Applejack’s just- I mean, I tried to be neutral with her, but when I offered her an olive branch, an attempt for her to explain her side to me, she slapped it from my hoof.” “‘Offered an olive branch’? That’s not a real saying, is it?” Twilight gave a light chuckle in response. “Are you sure you’re okay, Twilight?” “Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” She replied calmly. “Like I said, I have a lot on my plate right now. It wasn’t like Applejack was just being stubborn, she was just not acting like herself at all.” “Well, you haven’t been acting like yourself lately either. I mean, weird sayings, trying to solve your friends’ problems like a ruler, wanting a foal-at-heart relationship; does any of this sound like Twilight Sparkle?” “I… I guess not.” “Talk to me, Twi…” Rainbow actually had an idea on how to resolve Applejack’s issue, but in that moment, Twilight was the matter at hoof. Her diaper crinkled as she inched toward her. She was a bit hesitant after rejecting her, but shrugged it off and brushed up against her. “It’s really hard to make something of it, Rainbow. I’ve just been thinking about these past couple of years; these past couple of years since Princess Celestia and Princess Luna retired. I see everypony else trying to tie the knot, or at least get something going; Fluttershy and Discord, Starlight and Sunburst, Pinkie and Cheese, Mind and Mantra… I think about Princess Celestia; she never even concerned herself with all this; her duty was to Equestria, she didn’t think about relationships, and she was perfectly fine with that. And here I am, ruling Equestria in her stead, things are going much smoother than I imagined, I still have my friends, but our lives have grown more separate since then, and I just… I just feel so alone.” “Look, Twilight, you’ll find somepony one day.” Twilight had to keep herself from rolling her eyes, somewhat in disappointment; that was an answer everyone would’ve given. “I mean, hey, I’m not looking for love right now. There’s nothing wrong with being single. I already know I’m going to find somepony else as awesome as I am.” The purple alicorn then drew a smirk; that remark sounded more like something she wanted to hear from Rainbow Dash. “And I’m not in a rush to find it, and trust me, Twilight, you are awesome. You’re beyond awesome. If you’re awesome enough to help me out with this, then anypony would be more than lucky to have you. Plus, dating a Princess has its perks.” The two shared a laugh. “And really… Thank you.” “Well, I’m glad you really appreciate it all, Rainbow. I really do.” There was then a gentle rapping at the door.“Oh, pizza’s here. Can you get that?” Rainbow Dash looked down at herself, then back at Twilight with a dull stare and trying to hold back a slowly growing smirk. Twilight then chuckled and disappeared in a magenta flash to reappear before Rainbow Dash’s front door. At that point, Twilight was starting to regret not ordering a whole pepperoni and bacon, since she now only felt like filling up on breadsticks that night. What was supposed to be the beginning of a fun-filled weekend started in controversy within the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. “What do you mean we can’t babysit them, Apple Bloom?” Scootaloo asked with an incredulous stare. “Babysitting is overrated. We can do so many other great things.” “But Apple Bloom, we promised to babysit the twins, and you promised to get your sister to show us how to change diapers. What happened?” “Well I’m sorry, but Applejack hates me now, and I can’t ask her.” “What!? She hates you? Why?” “She’s hated me this whole time, and I thought it’d blow over by now but it hasn’t.” “What? Apple Bloom, why didn’t you tell us this before?” “I didn’t want you to worry.” “But we’re your best friends. I mean, me and Sweets talk about everything.” “‘Sweets’? Is that what you’re calling her now?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Scootaloo furled her eyebrows. “It’s easy for you two to talk about everything.” “So you couldn’t tell us because you’re jealous?” “Jealous!? How do you expect me to talk to you about everything when you don’t know me at all?” “Girls, that’s enough!” Sweetie Belle interjected then turned to the orange pegasus. “Come on, Scootaloo, you didn’t mean that.” “I…” Scootaloo then gave a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t. Sorry, Apple Bloom.” “How can I be jealous of that?” Apple Bloom said. She was very relieved to see Sweetie Belle come to her defense despite it meaning to be confrontational to her marefriend in front of someone else. She was grateful, in fact. She felt that gratitude flow through her as she continued to speak. “I’m happy for you both. I just get very lonely; it just feels like I’m not as close to you two as we used to be. It’s why I haven’t been able to tell you about… About…” She was ready to tell them; after both of them proving they value their best friend as much as their relationship, she finally had the courage. “I can’t ask Applejack about changing diapers because she found out about me… Wanting to wear them myself.” “Oh…” Scootaloo said. “Makes sense.” Sweetie Belle said with a shrug. “You never told us about this before.” Scootaloo said with a hoof to her chin. “I never had it before. After that whole thing with Mind Fission, something sparked. I try to fight it, but the urge is just too strong sometimes. I just wish there was an off switch for this. If I just wasn’t so careless and didn’t do that in a diaper, it probably wouldn’t have been as bad as it is.” Apple Bloom shook her head and swallowed. “I’m sorry, I never really talk about my problems that much.” “Well yeah, you always hold things in; this isn’t really new to us.” “I know. I guess I got that part of me from Big Mac; keeping quiet and to himself so he can listen to others’ problems and keep himself from burdening others with his own.” “Apple Bloom, there’s no way you can burden us for talking about your issues.” Scootaloo said, approaching her and putting a gentle hoof on her. “Yeah,” Sweetie Belle interjected, “we’re here for you, and we won’t judge you for anything. But hey, can you do us a favor and just come to us if there’s something going on? We’d rather listen to you talk it out for a day than see you miserable holding onto it for a second.” “I know…” Apple Bloom said. “I know… It was silly of me thinking you’d both see me differently. And I know it was silly the whole time, but I did it anyway. I’ll be better about it. I promise.” “Apple Bloom. We’re here for you. Any time. No matter what.” “Hey, chin up, Twilight. You told her how you feel, she didn’t feel the same way, that’s that.” Spike said to a deflated purple alicorn in her throne, her body sprawled across the arm rests. “And how is that supposed to cheer me up?” “Because you don’t need to worry about it anymore. And maybe just telling her will go a longer way than you think.” “You think maybe there’s still a chance with her?” “Maybe. And if there isn’t, you’re still close friends. Wishing the best for each other and telling each other how you really feel; that’s what friendship is. You should know that.” “Spike, have I not been myself lately? ...Like in the last two years?” “What makes you say that?” “Rainbow Dash did. She implied I changed a lot since the Mind Fission incident.” “Do you think you’ve changed?” “Thinking about it now… I guess I did. After being entrusted with Equestria, I felt like I needed to be more like Mind Fission, after he reformed, of course; methodical, collected, objectively decisive, and just plain smart.” “But Twilight, you’re already all of those things. I think you’re just scared of making decisions the way you would make them.” “What do you mean?” “Well, ruling Equestria wasn’t something you truly wanted; it was something Princess Celestia planned for you. You’ve lived in her shadow for so long, she’s ruled Equestria for so much longer, and you’ve spent so much of your life trying to please her that you can’t imagine ruling it as Princess Twilight Sparkle. “Princess Celestia wouldn’t have given Equestria to you if she knew it was going to mean you being alone. You’ve overcome so much and you’ve made so many friends, not as a princess, not as the ruler of Equestria, but as Twilight Sparkle. And Twilight, the traits that define you are the reason why you have such great friends. The traits that define you are why everyone trusts you as Equestria’s ruler. And the traits that define you are the reason why you will never be alone.” “...You’ve really come into your own as my royal advisor.” Twilight then sat herself up in her throne. She felt like a phoenix reborn out of the ashes of her misery. “You really think so?” “You definitely have.” Twilight said as she pulled the purple dragon in for a warm embrace. “Thank you, Spike.” “Hey Twilight,” a voice with a southern droll echoed from her throne room door, “I hope you don’t mind me being a tad early.” “Not at all, Applejack.” Twilight said with a smile. A confident flap of wings sounded off the entrance of a blue pegasus after her. Apple Bloom’s heart pounded in her chest. She had a whole afternoon after telling her friends her secret. She assured herself in her head that she was ready to show her friends what she brought in her saddlebags, but her body didn’t agree. She was anxious sitting at the podium watching the golden sunlight shining through the window turn into a clementine orange. The door to the clubhouse creaked open. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle let themselves in and closed it behind them. “Hey Apple Bloom.” “Let’s try this meeting again.” Apple Bloom said with a smile. “Should we get down to business right away?” “Well, we just have one more thing to say about… I feel like- No, I think-” She sighed at herself. “Sweetie put it in much better words than I can.” “Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle said, “well, how about I just break the ice with this?” Sweetie Belle’s horn, already glowing in its signature pale green aura, magically pulled out a plush toucan from behind herself and levitated it to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom held it in her hooves, pink feathers with rainbow extremities. “What’s this for?” “Well, we really appreciate you being our best friend, and that includes appreciating the fact that you trust us enough with something so close to you. The toucan is a token of our appreciation, and a reminder that you can trust us, and a reminder that you mean as much to us as we mean to each other.” “Oh girls, I really appreciate that.” Apple Bloom said with a bright smile, the light reflecting off her eyes getting washy and blurry. “Come here.” Scootaloo said as she pulled her friend in for a warm embrace, Sweetie Belle jumping in with them. Apple Bloom, after breaking from the group hug, pulled a thick crinkling garment out from her saddlebags. A rosy flame warmed her cheeks. “And if you girls still wanted to babysit the twins, I could show you how these things work.” “Only if you want to, Apple Bloom.” “One hundred percent.” Apple Bloom said with a bright toothy smile. Applejack stared off into the marigold sunset. She felt her values dwindle along with the fading light, her heart sink along with the sound of flapping wings and hooves rustling in the grass upon landing. “Look, Applejack, I never told anypony else this- Well, Twilight yeah, but yeah, well… Yeah.” Applejack didn’t even take a glance at the blue pegasus. Rainbow Dash forgot what she was going to open with. “Trust me, if anypony knows what you’re going through, it’s me.” “Nopony knows what I’m going through. It’s like I’m the bad guy, and at this point, I’m startin’ to believe it myself.” “You’re not the bad guy.” “Well yeah, that’s what everypony would say.” “You’re not. You’re just going through an adjustment period, and it’s rough, trust me. It was rough for me too.” “I just don’t get how it was so easy before.” Applejack said as she turned her head toward Rainbow Dash. “Tirek, Cozy, and Chrysalis were easy; they were the bad guys, we stopped the bad guys, we saved Equestria, the end. Sombra and the Storm King, same story. Stygian was different, and we learned a lesson we needed to learn handling him the way we did, but he didn’t change us the way Fission did. You’re different, Twilight’s different, all of our friends are different, and now my family’s different. It’s like we beat Fission, but we still lost.” “But you feel like you’re still the same.” “I’m not sure if I can even say that anymore. Am I the one who changed, Rainbow?” “Applejack, trust me, I get you. Have you noticed Twilight seemed a little better today?” “Well… She kinda did, yeah, now that you mention it.” “I think she just needed somepony to remind her who she was. I couldn’t put my hoof on it before, but I guess I was scared of losing her, just like I was scared of losing all of you when I discovered this foal-at-heart side of me. I didn’t feel like myself for a long time.” “It was like losing you to Mind Fission all over again.” Rainbow Dash was about to respond but stumbled on what she was going to follow up with. “That was the closest we ever came to losing it all, and it was the most terrified I’ve ever been, and it was like all those feelings were coming back, and when I discovered Apple Bloom wearing those diapers, it started staring me in the face every single moment. That night I discovered her, having dinner with my family, tryin’ to pretend I was okay, and I let it fester into something I never wanted it to.” Applejack’s voice started breaking. “Maybe you’re right. I wasn’t myself… And I just snapped. But even after realizing that, I still can’t get over Apple Bloom.” “Applejack, trust me. I know. It wasn’t easy getting over myself.” “So… How do I get past it?” “Same thing with Twilight, same thing with me; we have a bunch of awesome friends who love us enough to help us remember who we are, and even if we do change, our friends will be here for us, no matter what. But Applejack, I’m still me, and I’m still here for you.” Applejack felt her heart race as a tear rolled down her cheek and she looked into the pegasus’ magenta eyes. In that moment, Rainbow Dash’s smile became something Applejack was more grateful to see than anything else.