A list of things about Jaded La Perm.
1. Jaded is no longer allowed to lick herself in public while humming a musical tune.
The devastation caused from last time will never be forgotten, especially considering the heart song that caused said devastation.
2. Jaded can no longer be given yarn to play with, she will always cause problems with it. Even if it is one of Jade’s worst weaknesses.
3. Jaded is no longer allowed to slap anyone’s butt, except for Fizzlepop Berrytwist’s butt if she's feeling like it.
The exploding airship incident definitely does not need to be repeated and wasn’t actually Jacky’s fault as the ship was determined to be definitively outside the range of Jacky’s supposed ship destroying aura.
4. Testing new magical alchemy discoveries needs to be done outdoors and with at least twenty feet of clearance in all directions.
We do not need a repeat of the 'sea foam' incident, Flotsam is still going to therapy for it.
5. Jaded is no longer allowed to try and keep Jacky from getting injured for twenty four hours straight. It really didn’t end well for everyone within in a two mile radius of Jacky, Jade somehow avoided repercussions using her personal set of magnetically driven lightning skates.
6. No one should let Jaded ever suggest modifications to the magnetically driven lightning skates or anything else that can go beyond the safety parameters that Jacky or anyone equally adept in a given subject has installed initially, especially not for curiosities sake!
That said, did we really need to know how fast that metal ball could go if flicked between the active wheels of the skates? It spooked Twilight in Canterlot when said ball knocked the tiara off her head. Jade was still in Airship Mauled at the time when this happened, that just tells us how dangerous the experiment was. Thankfully Twilight is now immortal and cannot die if Jade accidentally kills her mortal shell.
7. Jaded is not allowed to declare a headshot if she accidentally blows an alicorn’s head off with a metal ball. It would be in poor taste even if the alicorn in question is going to get back up eventually.
This one does not have any relation to the previous one, this was actually a separate incident entirely. We’re still not sure if Jade was being petty towards Luna or not for the gelatin swimming pool thing in Las Pegasus during her honeymoon.
8. Jaded is no longer allowed to play with or use metal balls for anything or operate heavy machinery without supervision unless the situation is ultimately dire.
It’s just a hunch to prevent further incidents.
9. Never allow Jaded to do math, especially math that is vital to any form of continued living. Even if the world is ending, a second apocalypse happening during the first is not a viable way to stop eldritch horrors.
We should have known better after Jaded told us what happened when she taught Icky Dress math, Icky Dress eventually learned how to do math correctly at least.
10. We absolutely must listen to the eldritch horrors when they tell us to keep Jaded away from them.
Flamberge is somewhat happier around Jade even if he is scared of her, especially after scaring off something called Cthulhu with a madness that even it couldn’t handle.
We had to send a formal apology to said eldritch abomination after what Jaded did.
11. Jaded is no longer allowed to be left alone to her own devices for more than three days.
We don’t know what SCP’s are, but they stopped coming to Equestria out of fear of having to meet her.
12. In tune with the previous one, Jaded is no longer allowed to start secret organizations.
It is okay that Jaded is a muffin cultist, who is apparently the liaison to the local Airship Mauled foodie cult for the muffin cult. Since she already lives there and everything.
It is not okay for Jaded to have a secret organization dedicated to getting Spitfire to chase her, Rainbow Dash most certainly did not need to be a higher echelon member of it either.
13. No matter how odd it sounds, Jaded is no longer allowed to point out how oddly placed cabbage carts or fruit bins are.
The ‘My Cabbages’ Continuum, which does not exist, thank you for ignoring us and our inexistent ways!
14. Jaded is no longer allowed to poke holes in the Equestrian Law system, even after Twilight thought she had ultimately fixed things after the whole ‘Pirate Queen of Equestria’ incident.
Even better, never leave Jaded alone with a recent law book. She’s a little less dangerous that way.
15. Jaded is no longer allowed to build picket fences and get random people to paint them odd colors.
Don’t ask about this one, no one actually believes it even if everything was explained.
16. No matter how much she begs, Jaded is no longer allowed to eat potato stew more than once a week, except for special occasions.
We just don’t want her getting fat and she tends to try and find room for more whenever it is served.
17. As a known pharaoh, Jaded is no longer allowed to lead current day Anugyptians to destroy Saddle Arabia… for a third time.
Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us. We do not want a third time to happen and no sane Saddle Arabian wants the historically accurate ‘Mirage’ to be anywhere near their country. They already know she can take down the whole country by herself and don’t want to try for reprisals for the chances of any kind of dangerous response from Jaded. Not after Jaded has promised that “Oh those, those were just warning shots”.
No one died, but a lot of buildings were rendered uninhabitable at an insane rate. People had to live in tents for a few months each time. They managed to pull through though and are now terrified of even seemingly cunning Abyssinians.
18. Jaded is no longer allowed to teach the phrase ‘shoo-be-do shoo-shoo-be-do’ to anyone.
The sea ponies are tired of Jade’s antics, but at least all the distress calls that came from it were valid problems according to the sea pony rescue services across the seas of the world.
19. Jaded is no longer legally allowed to say the words “I’m innocent”, even if she clearly is and her alibi matches up and nobody can prove otherwise.
We know her too well, she gets away with far too much to be innocent of whatever someone could be blaming her for. She could be halfway around the world from the incident and still be held under suspicion by no less than seven people that know 'of her'.
20. It is now a fashion crime to dump fresh kitty litter all over Rarity’s dresses thanks to Jaded La Perm.
We still don’t honestly know what set her off that time.
21. Jaded is never allowed to wear a dress and it is illegal to try and force one on her. Rarity’s bounty is not a good enough reason to keep trying and we know that more than the entire world will be destroyed if someone is ever successful.
Icky Dress said that dress plus her mother equal really bad thing and a humongous frowny face, we are inclined to believe her.
Every universe collapsing at the same is definitely a bad thing, so we’ve honestly stopped trying to put her in a dress and warned Rarity to drop the bounty.
22. Of the plans Jaded makes, she cannot make a plan that eventually forces someone to tell Celestia that her butt looks tiny compared to the size of her head.
This one we managed to defuse before it got that far, but we’re pretty sure that the fallout of it would have been pretty bad… somehow. We think it might have been a cover up for another one of her plans that we missed.
23. Whatever anyone does, nobody should let Jaded yell the word ‘kumquat’ more than two times.
That last time we did let her yell kumquat more than two times, mind soap was ineffective at removing the trauma stains. Nobody can forget it and it has become something called a memetic hazard, hearing the story of it causes trauma in those who weren’t even present for the incident in question.
Anubis feels a lot better after the incident, because cake is no longer the most traumatizing thing to him.
24. Jaded is no longer allowed to be good friends with Captain Jaqueline Sparrow.
For the week that they were friends, it was mostly blamed on Discord who was actually entirely innocent of doing whatever it was that those two got up to during the time frame where everything went weird.
They are still friends, but they are being kept separated from one another to prevent any more errors in existence that needed the combined powers of Discord, Twilight, Luna, Celestia, Cadence, Sekhet, Quetzalcoatl, Jiutian, Veles, Baast and about seventeen other known gods to fix.
25. Whatever good idea Jaded thinks she may have, it seriously needs to be considered as harshly as possible, even if there is nothing wrong with the idea and it seems completely normal to everyone who hears it.
Even if you have to harshly criticize the word ‘THE’ in the plan, and it’s possibly the only thing you can criticize, then do it! You’ll be better off later, trust us.
26. Never make comments about Jaded being a bad mother in any way, shape or form without a valid argument ready.
She will hunt you down! While Jaded won’t kill you and considering what happened to Stochastic Labor… well… let’s just that say you don’t want to have Jaded thinking up a plan involving you in a negative manner.
There are a lot of things you can survive that Jaded can come up with, furthermore, anything that sets off Jaded’s ‘petty kitty’ mode is a guaranteed one way trip to the hospital for the target and possibly anyone involved.
27. Do not abuse Jaded’s kindness as a weapon against someone you just dislike mildly for immense personal profit. If she finds out, then she will balance things out, with a complete ‘petty kitty’ prejudice and nothing less.
Jade only does things by half if you’re joking about this. If you’re not joking, then expect to have things blow up in your face in an increasingly exponential manner.
28. Related to the above, Jaded is no long allowed to torture someone with constant pies to the face until they are a sobbing mess and terrified of baked goods of all kinds.
That’s why you don’t mess with Jaded or aim her at your enemies to profit entirely off the outcome.
Jade: If that pony didn’t want to be hit with pies so much, they should have actually been upfront with things and could have actually paid me for my services rendered.
29. Never assume that Jade is being lazy… EVER!
If Jade is laying around in the sun and looks like she isn’t doing anything other than napping, then she is likely planning something horrible for someone or is thinking of getting a present for one of her kittens. We really don’t honestly need to know which one is going on at any given moment.
Only her friends and family are allowed to bother her in this state.
30. Keeping tabs on whatever Jaded happens to be hiding is an effort in futility. That said, it’s always a good idea to ask her if she’s planning something evil. She will almost always have a very noticeable tell for when something is up.
Not only is Jade good at keeping secrets, she good at keeping people from finding out what she’s doing on any given day of the week if she doesn’t want to be found out. The only ones who she seems to be incapable of hiding things from are her family and anyone adopted into it who knows her all too well.
31. If Jaded wants to play with the royal guards, then you let her. To interfere is to ask for trouble.
Otherwise you’re going to have a really bad time for interfering in the current training session. The guards really need to stallion up, yes, even the mares!
32. Jaded is no longer allowed to keep all of the Zamponi’s she’s stolen since we started running out places to put them. She’s only allowed to have one Zamponi for which she can maintain and use for whatever reason her ultimately demented little kitty heart wants it for.
How she manages to steal them without being caught is beyond us. If she needs spare parts, she’s just going to steal them for her personal Zamponi. The guards in Canterlot are still having nightmares about Jaded on a zamponi.
33. “So long and thanks for all the fish!” is not a song anyone wants to hear Jade sing again.
It was disturbing the first three times she did it and tropical penguins somehow showing up to sing the lines that the ponies wouldn’t each time just made things weirder.
34. Fish jerky is not an effective method of scaring Jaded away.
No matter how much of it Kuril La Perm makes. While tasty and nutritional, the flavor becomes problematic after a while of eating too much of the stuff.
35. Jaded is no longer allowed to sing ‘With Cat-like Tread’, for some reason it renders her completely invisible to all forms of detection except by sound. Even then, thestrals can’t echolocate her accurately, no matter how horribly off key she is singing.
The entirety of the EUP likes the song, but Jade uses it with insanely scary efficiency and, ‘again’, has caused endless nightmares and therapy sessions over it.
It is quite notable that when she uses it on someone she dislikes. They will never see her coming, but the target will definitely hear her singing it in a creepy whisper.
36. Jaded is no longer allowed to plan a Nightmare Night haunted house. See number 35 for more information.
Can you imagine, if you will, Jaded singing a song and following behind you, but when you look back she isn’t there. Only to look forward and be scared out of your wits by nothing but a piece of paper hung from the ceiling with the words ‘BOO’ written on it in big, bold, letters.
That’s only a fraction of what Jade is capable of when it comes to making nightmares for Luna to deal with. Even Nightmares have nightmares about Jaded.
37. Jaded is no longer allowed to proclaim Fluttershy’s body as a nation separate from Equestria.
It was cute while it lasted though, the nation of 'Fluttershy' consisted entirely of animals and General Jackass. It also solved a few problems, but Twilight eventually got around to fixing this problem with extreme amounts of speed to make sure that Pinkie Pie couldn’t declare herself as a nation.
38. Jaded is no longer allowed to learn about explosives from one Minnesota Magnolia ‘Maggie’ Arid.
When the two found a more efficient ways to make explosives quickly between them, they were hastily separated.
Separate from that, Maggie’s bounty hunting business is booming. Pun definitely intended as much as it is literal.
39. Jaded is no longer allowed to talk Cadence into doing training exercises with the guards that are supposed to be protecting the Crystal Empire.
Those poor, poor bastards.
40. Jock Hawk is no longer allowed to teach Jaded ‘FUN’ wrestling techniques.
While we can be amiable towards the Quarrelsome Quartet, we are not exactly friends no matter how much Jade implies that we could be on occasions.
41. Golfing with Teatime Clockwork should not be considered a contact sport, even if he and Jaded made a complete spectacle of it.
It was still hilarious that Teatime won though.
42. Ogres and Oubliettes is not a valid excuse for guard training exercises being entirely related to the game, especially not when Jaded is the one doing it with Discord’s help.
Even if the training was efficient and fun for the guards, it was still quite costly to do even once as Discord’s going rates were costly per pony. He still does something similar freely at O&O conventions.
43. Discord should not make Jaded the heir to his powers, no matter how chaotic it is to live near Jaded normally.
Screw Ball had a few angry words for her daddy, even if she does like the idea of Jaded being a Chaos Empress.
44. Any talk of making Jaded into a goddess, OF ANY KIND, should be stopped immediately and should not even be allowed to be theoretically possible if brought up.
Infinite petty kitty is a bad idea.
Icky Dress doesn’t mind if her mother dies, as long as she gets to reincarnate her infinitely across multiple dimensions like she’s already doing.
45. No one needs to know that Jaded La Perm is now a multiverse constant of pain and misery for nobles, guards and most entities that earn her ire even slightly.
In the one dimension where she is unrepentantly evil, she has a one hundred percent political approval rating with everyone despite being obviously out and out evil.
This is mostly because the alternatives are far worse than she is, at least she promises a cheap Hayburger in every city. The very same Hayburgers she used to conquer the world after becoming the CEO of Hayburger Enterprises itself.
Day Breaker and Nightmare Moon have no comment on how they let the world be taken over by a fast food mogul who couldn't do math to save anyone's life.
46. As horrible as she can be sometimes, Jaded is still not considered to be the most evil thing in existence.
The winner of most evil thing in existence went to a sandwich that Twilight once use her magic on to make it look like it was talking, but has never actually bothered to eat. After having left said sandwich out in the cold at a picnic, it randomly gained sentience. Its ultimate goal is to be eaten by Twilight Sparkle, no matter the cost it would take to achieve said goal.
Said sandwich is now Equestria’s most infamous villain and magical friendship beams don’t stop it, it is said to be where Twilight’s evil side resides and it wants to be one with Twilight once more by being ingested.
47. Jaded should not have distracted Harmony from completely ingesting the bad magic created by Chrysalis.
The tree of harmony accidentally lost track of an evil clone of Rarity who hates dresses as much as Jaded does. Jaded named her ‘Rapacity’ and managed to help her get married to Spike ‘The Dragon’, who didn’t know it wasn’t Rarity.
Things... got a bit awkward afterwards.
Rapacity has mellowed out quite a lot since she was discovered. While she’s excessively greedy, she’s greedy for attention when it comes to being one of the world’s greatest heroes.
We’re still not entirely sure how Jaded talked her into being hero. Maybe it was the greed of receiving thanks for helping others, said greed that could never be entirely fulfilled and lasted Rapacity’s lifetime.
Rapacity’s family are all technically cousins of Rarity’s family.
48. Jaded is not allowed to play matchmaker with Cadence.
The madness… the madness…
49. Pony Joe has to make tiger-tails for Jaded La perm if she has the money to pay for them.
He actually cannot refuse to make them for her, she has too much dirt on him and she's blackmailing him.
50. Twilight Sparkle should not have tried to do any form of mind magic on Jaded.
Apparently Jaded actually has a hard counter for mind control magic. It's called emotional trauma, with a sprinkle of insanity.
51. If Jaded has a lot of very good points about keeping some forms of magical information out of the hooves of average unicorns, then you should probably listen.
Twilight Sparkle certainly did, especially when it was pointed out to her.
The average unicorn, when given an unfettered amount of information on dangerous forms of magic and the smallest chip in their withers, will likely go evil or power mad nine times out of ten. Starlight Glimmer is a prime example of this and she even admits to this fact personally.
Twilight’s attempt to reform Discord with a magical spell that would ultimately kill him came up and was proven to be the case as to why Discord ate the page with said spell in question in the first place.
Unicorns need to seek psychological help far more often than they do, magic is definitely not the solution to every problem.
52. Jaded is no longer allowed to run a pistachio nut stand, at least not by herself.
53. When calling someone else out on their hypocrisy, Jaded considers it a victory when you don’t call her out on her own. Do so even if doesn’t make a lick of sense.
54. Jaded is no longer allowed to have diplomatic immunity when visiting Griffonstone.
She can still be a diplomat though, and what a terrifying thought that is!
55. Smooze should not be made to roll down stairs, alone, or in pairs, or over the neighbor’s frog. Jaded should not be having so much fun with something so brainless.
56. Do not leave Jaded alone in a room with someone she is annoyed with.
57. Do not let Jaded talk or somehow manipulate you into leaving someone alone in the room with her, especially if she is annoyed with them.
58. If you think you are safe from Jaded, then you probably haven’t put at least three dimensions between you and her as a short term buffer.
59. Everyone should know that Jaded is not an alien or from the planet of Aldebaran that she says is full of sexy felines.
Fizzy: Though it would make for some pretty good comic books...
60. Jaded should not act out Collateral Cat’astrophe’s main gimmick in our reality.
61. If Jaded wants to know who’s been into her comic book collection, then you better darn well tell her as to not end up on the list of things to ‘petty kitty’ immediately.
62. If Jaded says she’s going to get you, then she will do so when it’s convenient, out of nowhere and you have likely forgot you are on the ‘petty kitty’ list. She does this so the target will mostly punish themselves as much as she will eventually.
Flamberge certainly forgot, but Jaded certainly didn’t.
63. Pick on Jaded at your own risk, you have been thoroughly warned by this point.
Rainbow was almost entirely white for a week, it helped her hide in clouds to get in more naps a lot better and she actually thought the revenge was pretty funny.
64. If you don’t think Jaded can plan for every possibility, then she actually can just because you believe she can't. The exceptions are for literal ‘divine intervention’ or someone knowing enough of the plan to stop the dominoes from falling.
65. If Jaded’s plan involves literal dominoes, you have obviously upset her or someone she loves enough to make the reprisal very visual and quite memorable in nature.
Jade: Those kids had it coming for hurting Silvers feelings.
66. The Cutie Mark Crusaders should never ask Jaded for a plan to give other creatures cutie marks.
67. Pineapple and Fisherroni is a viable pizza as far as Jaded La Perm is concerned, it's not bad and is an acquired taste for some.
68. Sekhet is only allowed to ask a set number of riddles in a given day to anyone, including and most importantly Jaded if she’s particularly busy that day. It's so she can't use Sekhet as an excuse to get out of things.
69. Jaded is not allowed to make lewd comments about Savanna and Brenda being 'Olympic Specialists', that only encourages them.
70. If a noodle incident has four or more noodle implements and one of them was an actual noodle, then you should not ask about it or want to know how Jaded achieved whatever it is that no one wants to talk about. Though references are still going to be constantly made about said incident regardless.
No seriously, even Discord agrees with us on this one.
71. If Discord tries to warn you about something Jaded is going to do for any reason at all, then you better take everything he says seriously no matter how stupid it sounds.
Mara: That whole thing with the rubber duck was rather awe inspiring.
72. While Jaded is actually good at faking being a lawyer, she should not fake being a prosecutor.
Maria: Evil doesn’t even begin to describe what happened there.
73. Silvers is adorable. If you are going to say otherwise, then at least make sure Jaded, Maries or Fizzlepop are not within earshot.
Silver: Mom is definitely not a useless adult.
Silvia: If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say it where someone can hear you and repeat it verbatim.
Silvon: I really like strict mom personally, she knows how to keep fun mom in line and is a good leader of the herd.
74. Maries and Fizzlepop are full time ‘Jaded professionals’ and can even be paid as consultants to that effect.
Fizzy: You have to pay us fifty bits by the hour. No ifs ands or buts.
75. Three quarters of Zebrica are entirely afraid of having Jaded visit, mostly after the ‘Arise Chicken’ shamanistic ritual incident. As such Jaded can no longer mention chickens around Celestia or Linked Hearts.
Jade: Yeah, probably shouldn’t have dare Linked Hearts to get involved with that. Also, how was I supposed to know that Celestia was on vacation there that day and has serious alektorophobia? Incidentally, Linked Hearts also has alektorophobia now too.
76. If Jaded has a plan and it involves a bunch of weird stuff, it is better to ask for the end result of the plan than to have her try to list out every step of it. This is mostly because her explaining the plan makes it sound completely impossible and even lacking any form of understandable logic whatsoever.
77. Jaded can’t do normal, so expect something to happen if she tries to hold down a seemingly normal job for more than three hours. An Outside Context Problem, or OCP for short, is guaranteed to get her involved or caught up in it somehow.
Somehow riots broke out and some guy named Rolling Boat, a pony cop who got involved with stopping them, for some reason needed an Abyssinian’s help to bring things to a peaceful resolution.
Jaded was simply working in retail in Manehatten for that day in particular to prove a point, it simply became known as the ‘RoBo cop’ incident.
78. Jaded is no longer allowed to help plan parties with Pinkie Pie.
You don’t even need a hint to guess as to what happened.
79. Jaded is actually allowed to test every guards intelligences after performing a theft, so long as she can describe herself in a completely and extremely obtuse manner when asked if she saw the perpetrator to see if anyone is actually sharp enough on the uptake.
Twilight: She’s gotten away with that fifteen times, I’m so glad I let her go after the Equestria Education Association now.
80. Do not bother Jade while she is interacting with squirrels, not even if she seems to be wearing really obvious espionage gear. All guards are ordered to ignore any instance of this happening for the sake of Equestria's continued security.
81. If Jaded is being nice, that’s fine. If Jaded is being too nice, then ask what she wants and tell her to be straightforward and upfront about it if she gets a bit dodgy.
82. Jaded is not allowed to use cardboard boxes to sneak into a clock tower to destroy its metal gears.
83. If you hire Jaded to do a job, chance are she’s going to be doing something else while doing it. IE case a place out for a robbery or mischief. She at least always correctly finishes the job she’s hired to do.
Jade: I got the references for measuring a window, working at a Hayburger, checking a museums security as a consultant and more! I will help your new trainees figure out what they are doing, because I’ll be learning these things right alongside them!
84. If Jaded can legally get away with it, then she will definitely abuse that fact.
85. No matter how much she wants to, Twilight cannot make laws specifically for the sanity challenging things Jaded La Perm does in general.
Fluttershy: Well she can’t use Jade’s name specifically in a law, that’s just leaving it open so that someone else will eventually do it.
86. Jaded is no longer allow to perform the ‘Solar Flare’ technique, using one of Celestia’s feathers, in a dark cave where thestrals reside.
87. Jaded can be trusted as a sitter for children, what she cannot be trusted with is what she teaches them while doing said sitting.
88. Jaded is no longer allowed to mess with time travel to go back to the future multiple times. It seriously annoys her wives to no end and the dung from it smells horrible.
89. If Bahamut’s taco stand is nearby, then it is a good idea to just let Jaded buy what she wants from him.
90. If Tiamat’s noodle soup stand is nearby, then everyone will have to watch out for Jaded’s sodium intake.
91. Upsetting Jaded or any related family may get you banned from The Witch’s Fare. Trying to circumvent this ban by using friends to pick up food for you will possibly result in ending up on Jaded’s ‘petty kitty’ list.
92. Jaded is not a hero and should not be idolized as such, we don’t need things going to her head.
93. Jaded should know that the fast ball special is not a valid maneuver to use in combat, especially when it’s Arizona that is the one who is throwing you.
94. Jaded La Perm is allowed to make cameos or appearances in other fanfiction, as long as ‘Airship Mauled’ is mentioned as a reference point. It is okay if she’s alone or with anyone else, it doesn’t matter if she is not romantically involved with a broken horn unicorn or a quirky courtroom chimera.
95. Jaded is not allowed anywhere near Velvet’s floof while holding a normal sheet of paper.
96. Daring Do is no longer allowed to let anything happen to Jaded if her assistance is seriously needed to save the world.
97. Jaded is not allowed to go ‘native’ when it comes to Paprika’s nomadic alpaca tribe.
98. It is well documented that Jade has the inability to say the word ‘pulchritudinous’, especially in a way that could possibly save her life.
99. Do not give Jaded the time to plan your downfall if she is currently doing so!
If you want to survive, then either find a way to distract her by passing the buck to someone else honestly or somehow greatly appease her.
100. If you attempt to separate Jaded from her kittens for whatever reason… do not try to ransom them back to her if you are even remotely successful. It is just better to give said kittens back in a timely manner, safely and without incurring any physical harm or emotional damage.
Otherwise you’ll lose all your friends, any assets you thought you had will suddenly go missing, your entire family and anyone remotely related to you that can help you will be hospitalized and there’s no number of dimensions that you can put between yourself and Jaded where she will be entirely incapable of reaching you.
Jaded will in fact move heavens and earth to find you, ruin your life, then render you into a gibbering pile of an ailurophobe and might even permanently incapacitate you while she’s at it. Cupcakes and Full Cake will be available for Magical Alchemy usage when she catches up to you, not ‘IF’, it is definitely ‘WHEN’.
If for whatever reason Jaded doesn’t do any of this… then her friends, family or wives most certainly will! This will only occur because Jaded probably doesn’t know it has happened and hasn’t been informed yet. Everyone who even has half a brain would want to prevent her from going off on whatever eventual ‘pile of fertilizer’ thought it was a good idea to separate a loving queen from her kittens.
Full Turbo Ultimate Petty Kitty, is not very nice or even pretty. (Incidentally, Jaded now has the Mama Bear trait, see Kuril’s character sheet for more information.)
101. Jaded is a friendly, loving individual that is almost a normal Abyssinian in every way.
We however will not proclaim she is a well-adjusted, fully functioning member of society that doesn't cause as many problems as she solves.
102. Jaded is, thankfully, not invincible or immortal, even then it's not a good idea to try and take her down for any reason.
She does have a daughter that is a magical tree goddess of causality looping and can make you miserable, she learned how to make causality loops from Jade's awful math lessons.