//------------------------------// // Helter skelter in a summer swelter // Story: Far from the Tree // by KorenCZ11 //------------------------------// I’d parked outside the bar Cheerilee said he’d be in. Sure enough, he was playing pool with a group of much, much older ponies and some not ponies. In the grand scheme of things, Ponyville ain’t exactly close ta anything, so alongside the massive expansion plans, District(s) 28, 34, 40, and 46 were all mostly airports. With the way Princess Twilight set it up when she was planning for Ponyville to eventually become what it is, the ‘Cardinals,’ as we called them, were exactly three districts away from the castle in cardinal directions. It’s fairly uncommon to see non-ponies in the majority of Ponyville, but near the Cardinals, it was very common. I’d called Sugarbelle and explained the story. I then told her what I’d planned to do. “You’re bringing him home!?” I had to pull the device away from my ear to keep from losing my hearing. “Well, yes, that’d be the gist of it.” “Why on the Goddess’s green Earth would you do that?” “Because Ah’m his father? Ah thought we went over this.” I could practically see Sugrabelle struggling to formulate a reply to that. “Okay, okay, okay. I get that, I do. I have the deepest respect for Cheerilee for not taking any of the other options she could have that might’ve resulted in the non-existence of any of your kids, I really do. But… but, you…” She sighed. “Mac, he’s been arrested before! I don’t want a pony like that around our kids!” “Come on, Sugar, that’s exactly why he needs ta be here. He’s never had a father in his life, and it’s not as if Ah don’t know what Ah’m dealin’ with. Nopony knows better than Ah do what it’s like ta be fatherless.” Sugarbelle groaned. “Mac! You know I trust you, but—” I chuckled and cut her off. “And that trust was where a few weeks ago?” I could feel the glare from across town. I was proud of that one. Sugarbelle sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll admit, I was being hysterical and assumed the worst. It’s not a hard bridge to make considering what all was going on at the time, but you even anticipated that and I still… ugh, whatever. I’m sorry.” I pumped a hoof in victory. “An apology? Goodness, is it my birthday already?” She made a single mouth noise that I knew all too well as restrained laughter. “Better watch your luck, bronco.” A breath. “I give. Bring him home, whip him into shape, whatever you think he needs. I’ll feed him, I’ll play your game… but if he hurts my babies…” I nodded. “Don’t’cha worry none, Ah have a plan. If there is one thing Ah learned from my Granny, it’s how ta make discipline work. Ah really hate ta just… storm in here and try ta set things straight, but Cheeri needs somepony ta protect her. Malus took up that role, whether or not he intended ta, but he acts like a thug and not a gentleman, and Ah aim ta correct that.” A scenario popped up in my head and I added, “Oh! Speakin’ of, if he talks ta you like that and Ah’m not around ta do it, don’t be afraid ta slap him around fer it.” Sugarbelle let out a sharp breath. “I’m not his mom, Mac, Ah don’t know that I can do that.” “What’cha are is my wife, my other half, my better half, my partner in crime, and the love of my life. Ah’m about ta try and turn a colt inta a stallion, and Ah need yer help. Ya don’t have ta be his ma; he’s already got one of the nicest ones ya could ask fer. What Ah need ya ta be is the law ta my order. How’s that sound, Lady Justice?” Sugarbelle clicked her tongue. “You think your sweet talk can just get’cha anywhere today, don’t’cha?” She let out a long sigh. “Alright, Your Honor, you have my sword.” I curled my hoof. “Amen. Though, Ah have ta say…” “Hmm?” “We’ve been married fer fourteen years and we’ve got two kids. Sweet talk clearly got me somewhere.” Crickets. “I’m hangin’ up, Mac.” “Ah’ll see ya at home. Get the guest room ready please. Ah love ya.” “I love you too.” -Click- “She loves me.” “Ya know, I have to say sir, you’re pretty good at this game for someone who’s never played before,” Malus said. Oh, this is gonna go well. “Yaks best at everything! We play again!” the yak demanded. If I hadn’t been watching the game from the start, I would’ve thought Malus was actually bad at pool. No: he lost deliberately, in spite of his partner’s ability or understanding of how the game worked. For every shot Malus took, he made sure to miss each shot by that much, and set up a shot for his opponent so they could hit a couple balls in without much effort. It was impressive, really. Kid was very good and subtle about it. He’d hit one in on occasion, he’d scratch on purpose every now and again, and he made it seem as if his opponent just beat him to the draw. Of course, he was scamming yaks this time, the cow related ungulates from the far north with the fine control of a wrecking ball. I was more amazed that nothing in the bar was broken yet. “Alright, I can see you enjoyed that one. Would you guys… like to make this interestin’?” the young stallion reached into his pocket and took out a nice hoofful of bits. He stacked them in a neat pile in the center of the pool table and went to chalk up his cue stick. The Yak pulled the wool off his eyes, clearly dazzled by the thought of not only winning again but taking about a month’s worth of wages away from this pompous, slick-talking teen. He turned to his friend, said something in their language, then met Malus’s bet with a stack twice the size of his. “Yaks see pony’s game. Yaks win pony’s game.” Ooh, he’s really good at this. Malus didn’t so much as smirk at seeing all those bits on the table. He kept a straight face, almost appearing genuinely surprised. Maybe he was surprised by the ease in his con over these yaks and simply nodded in agreement. “That sure is a hefty coin purse ya got there. Alright sirs, ya have yourselves a bet.” He took a little string bag out of his jacket pocket, prepared for this exact scenario, and loaded up all the bits. He added another stack from his pocket to match the bet, then set it just out of the yak’s reach and just close enough to him that he could grab it and bolt if need be. “The game is the same as before, and of course, winner takes all. Sound good?” Huh. That’s uncomfortable. Malus stuck a hoof out to shake on it and the yak eagerly accepted. “As a show of good faith, y’all can break.” I chuckled. As if there’s any good faith in this game. His ear twitched my direction and I quickly turned around, flipped the collar on my jacket up, pulled my hat down and started sipping on the whiskey I ordered. He looked my way, but went right back to his game. I let out a breath. Sharp ears too. “Yaks break!” And they certainly did. Cue ball went flying, all the balls bounced around the table, three going into holes, two being solids, one a stripe, and that was the first and only time they got to shoot. Maybe to show off, maybe to piss off the yaks a little, Malus then proceeded to call every hole his balls would go in, shoot them in numerical order, and then put the eight ball in the far-right corner. “Y-you! Pony cheats!” Letting his smile loose, Malus shrugged. “Sorry boys, I’m afraid that ain’t how the game works. Now then, I think I’ll take these and be on my way…” “No! Pony lies! Pony give yak’s bits back or pony dies!” Taking that as my cue to step in, I walked up from behind a sweating Malus and put myself between them and him. “Now, why don’t y’all just calm down fer a minute?” The yak stomped and shook the ground. “Little pony trick yaks! Little pony cheats! Why big pony ask for calm!?” I caught Malus about to grab the bag and run out of the reflection of my sunglasses and took hold of his tail before he could make a move. “The hell is with you and my tail, ya old fuck!?” Ignoring him and forcing him to sit next to me, I said to the yaks, “Because, Ah can win yer bits back. Let me play a game for ya, he can’t beat me.” Malus reared back. “Excuse you?” The yak stoked his long, braided beard, said something to his friend in his language, then nodded. “Yaks trust big pony, but big pony better win for yaks. Else, big pony die too.” Malus backed off and held a hoof up. “Woah, woah, woah. First, fuck you. Mind your own damn business. Second, what did ya do with Ma? She’s not here, is she?” I shook my head. “No, I left her at yer apartment.” It was slight, but comfort washed over him and his shoulders lowered a little. “Okay. Third, even if I did rise to your stupid jab, what reason would I have to even play ya? Ya gonna bet somethin’, ya country prick?” Shit. Well, if I have to scam the schemer, might as well go all the way. I rifled in my pocket for my wallet, grabbed one of the cancelled credit cards I still have because I never cleaned the thing out, and threw it on the table. “Ah’ll give ya a day with it before Ah cancel it. It’s got a 2500 bit limit and all Ah’ve used it fer is the drink Ah bought.” Malus raised a brow. He went to the table to inspect the card, saw that the date was still good through this year, then threw it in the bag. “Alright old geezer. I’d say that’s worth my while. But, we’re playin’ with house rules. Pick the suit before ya break, nockin’ balls in out of numerical order counts as a scratch, and ya call every hole before ya hit, got it?” I let out a breath and rolled my eyes. “’Long as ya break, Ah’ll take it.” Malus huffed. “Deal. I won’t even give ya a chance to shoot. Just you watch.” He started to chalk up his cue, and I racked up the balls. Once it was all in order and aligned, Malus grabbed the cueball, lined up his stick, and made the break. The ceramic balls bounced and scattered around the table and I almost had a heart attack. He hit 1 through 4 in the corners of the table, but thankfully also knocked 15 in one of the side pockets. He clicked his tongue. “Fine. Ya get one. Better not screw up a shot, dick head.” He aggressively put the cueball in my hoof and went off to the side to pout. Had the power been a bit more controlled, he probably would’ve knocked 7 in instead of 15, and that would’ve been the end of the road for me. “Don’t’cha worry, son, one is all I need.” This time, it was the truth. I took three shots in total. 9, 10, and 11 were aligned in just such a way that I managed to get a clear break on them and scatter them into the far right, far left, and center left pockets, all in that order. It made Malus swallow. 12 and 13 were right across from each other at the near end of the table, so I took a hard-angled shot at the back and had the cue come around and hit 13 into 12; both followed into the near right corner. I could see sweat on Malus’s brow. On the final shot, I decided to do something fun. The cue stopped just in front of the 8, and the 14 was on the opposite side of the cue and the 8. I called top left for 14 and bottom left for 8. “What!? You’re full of shit! You can’t hit a shot like that! I don’t care who ya are!” Malus protested. Letting the smirk overtake my face, I turned to Malus and raised a brow. “And this will be the first thing Ah teach ya. Don’t tell me what Ah can’t do.” Aiming at the bottom of the ball, I knocked it into the air and over the 8. It hit the back edge of the table, bounced back in, and smacked hard into the 8. The 8 flew slightly angled after the 14, knocked it into the top left corner. With the last of the power in the shot, the 8 just barely missed the top right hole, then came back around and went directly into the near left hole. “N-no! There’s no way! That didn’t just happen, this is bullshit!” At first, Malus was awed by the shot I made. Wouldn’t be the first time I made it, and Applebloom still sweeps me in this game. He came a little closer to the table to truly inspect that the balls made it to their target destination, then, all at once, I realized my mistake. The bag was closer to him than it was to me. I was on the opposite side of the table from it, and the yaks were even further away. Malus grabbed the bag and bolted, and just as quick I leapt over the table and chased after him. The yaks weren’t far behind. Thinking quickly, I ran back to my truck instead of following him and drove a couple blocks down the road. The game showed me that he thinks like I do: if I were him, I’d make sure I lost my pursuers, then head home in the cover of night. That in mind, I drove a couple blocks closer to Cheeri’s place where there was a small park and a little playground. The buildings in this district weren’t very tall, but they clustered together like grapes. He’d probably not spend long leading the yaks, throw a bit out while he hides behind a dumpster to make them think he went the other way, then come here and wait for a while, just to be safe. Whether or not he’d admit it, there’s little else he cared about more than his mother, and he wouldn’t do anything that might put her in danger. I turned off the lights and parked under a tree, just in such a position that he wouldn’t be able to see my truck without turning a flashlight on it. I made my way up the jungle gym and then waited under the castle top, half hidden in the slide. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Malus appeared. He emerged from the shadows between an unlit alley watching his back, checked both sides before he crossed the street, then ran for the jungle gym. Credit where credit was due, this kid was smart. He’d twisted the bag around so the bits were so tightly together, they didn’t make a sound as he galloped. He kept light on the tips of his hooves, and he’d brought a black beanie with him and tucked his tail in his pants. If I wasn’t looking for him, I probably would’ve missed him. He climbed up, walked right past me, then sat down, dropped the bag and relaxed. “Good Goddess. First he shows up at my house, then he shows up at my bar, who the hell is that guy?” Before he could react, I snatched the bag and used my free hoof to trap him against the castle wall. “Howdy.” “What the— How did you find me, you mother fucker!” I felt a grin crawl up my face. “Because, Malus, Ah’m not just any mother fucker. Ah’m your mother fucker.” He stopped struggling for a moment to think about that. “The hell are ya talking about?” “The name’s Macintosh Apple. Ah’m yer father. Nice ta meet’cha.” “So… this is for real?” Malus asked. “I’m sorry I never told you,” Cheeri replied. “Uh-huh. Now get yer things. We have fourteen years of father-son bondin’ ta make up fer in a month, and we’re startin’ early in the mornin’ tomorrow,” I added. Malus glared at me, but now that his mother had confirmed what I told him, he didn’t quite know how he should be doing it. Confused, upset, angry, lost: his emotions fought for control, but none of them won. He turned back to his mother. “And ya… ya really want me to go with him?” Cheeri took his hoof in hers and nodded. “I do. What I’ve kept from both of you wasn’t fair to either of you, and…” Cheeri sighed. She wrapped herself around her boy. “Oh, Malus. I’ve always wanted to give you a father, but I could never find anypony who wanted to be him and now your real father has come to find you! You may not see it right now, but I think this will be for the best for everypony.” Malus’s eyes flicked from her to me and back again, and the longer the hug lasted, the more twitchy he became. “Alright, alright, I’ll go, Ma! Just… chill out, alright?” He gently removed her from himself, but didn’t let go of her hoof. “And… you’ll promise me you’re not gonna invite anymore creeps over while I’m gone, right?” Cheeri wiped at her eyes. A rare smile came over. “Of course, dear. I promise.” Malus sighed. He sent me another unsure glance, then let go of his mother’s hoof. “Good. Good…” Went to say something, but stopped himself midway. “I guess I’ll… go grab some clothes.” Malus dragged his hooves off to the third room in the apartment and closed the door behind him. I let out a sigh of relief. “Whew. That was easier than Ah thought it was gonna be.” Cheeri shook her head. “No, no, that was… very hard for him. I’m honestly a little surprised he agreed to this.” I shrugged. “Nah. Ah’m not.” She tilted her head at me. “Really? Why is that?” I brought a hoof to my beard. “Despite not knowin’ him all his life, Ah’m fairly certain Ah know exactly how he works. Which, funnily enough, is the opposite of how Ah feel about the one Ah raised. Where Ox, er, Oxford had everythin’ Ah didn’t growin’ up, Malus is… much more like Ah was at his age. He cares about exactly one thing, and one thing only. So long as ya know what that one thing is, he’s easy ta understand.” “Is… is that so?” “Eeyup.” “And… that one thing is…?” I looked her over, almost said it, then thought better of it. “Think on it fer a while. If ya don’t figure it out by the time Ah bring him back, then Ah’ll tell ya then.” She groaned. “Mac! Come on, that isn’t fair!” I turned away. “Ah’ve made my decision.” Cheeri quite literally shook me for information until Malus came back with a bag haphazardly stuffed full of things. I almost felt bad for him. “Hey, cheer up, son. It’s not like you’re never gonna see her again.” Malus clicked his tongue and growled at me. “Oh, shut up ya country prick! I ain’t sad! … and don’t call me ‘son’ either.” Cheeri went and hugged her boy again, much to his dismay. “Aww, Malus! It won’t be for too long! I’ll even get one of those carrot cakes for when you get back.” She kissed him on the cheek and he more forcefully separated himself from her. “Ma, stop it! Geez! Why are ya always like this? Stop bein’ such a dumb ass!” “Hey!” Startled, both Cheeri and Malus turned their attention to me. I took a step forward. “Ah told ya earlier, and Ah’ll tell ya again. Do not talk ta yer mother like that. Say somethin’ like that ta her again, and it’s yer last warnin’. Say somethin’ like that ta my wife, and she’ll make ya regret livin’ before Ah even get a chance at ya.” For the very first time, probably in his life, Malus didn’t rise to a challenge. Immediately, anyways. His ears folded for just a second, but then he stood up to meet me. “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, you old piece of shit?” This time, I smiled. I walked right up to him, took a deep breath, and flexed. “Boy, my dearest, oldest son. Ah’ve spent every day of my life hard at work since Ah was a colt tryin’ ta build up my family ta the place they are now. Ah plowed every field, Ah bucked every tree, Ah built and rebuilt every barn. So, ta answer yer question, there’s a lot Ah could do.” Malus had backed away just a bit. I continued, “But, you’re my son, and whether or not ya realize it, Ah love ya. So there’s a lot Ah won’t do. The thing is, son, there’s also a lot Ah don’t have ta do. ‘Cause Ah know what makes ya tick. If the moment ever comes, well…” I leaned down and met the boy eye to eye. Malus swallowed. “You’ll find out.” Malus fell back on his haunches, and even Cheeri had a look of concern plastered on her face. And I’d call that a successful performance. I clapped my hooves. “Okay! Now that that’s settled, let’s get ta the truck! You’ve probably never seen a sunrise, and we need ta be up before it! Let’s go, move it!” I pushed him back up to standing, and slowly, he started to walk. He sent one last fearful look to his mom, and finally, he was out the door. Before I could leave myself, Cheeri asked, “You… you’re not gonna hurt him, are you?” I flashed her a smile. “Don’t’cha worry none, Sugarcube. You’ll get him back in one piece. So long as he behaves. See ya in August!” And with that, I closed the door.