Both of the Four of Us
Chapter Two: Anthropology
Shocked and dismayed gasps echoed throughout Sugarcube Corner, tugging at Pinkie Pie's heart and causing her to rethink her journey once again. But she had already promised the princess that she would leave, and she couldn't break that promise. Losing a friend's trust, after all, was the fastest way to lose a friend. Forever.
"Oh, but Pinkie Pie, will you be safe there? In Marem, I mean?" fretted Fluttershy, staring at her friend with wide and imploring eyes. The other four Elements of Harmony were present as well, as were Spike and the Cakes. None of them looked too pleased with the news of Pinkie's departure.
"Well, I sure think so!" offered the party planner, reluctant to look her guests in the eye. Her gaze flitted from nondescript object to nondescript object, from the oven to the stack of plastic cups placed on a nearby table to a dangling streamer to the remains of the cake she had baked to, finally, the floor. "I mean, if I'm with Princess Luna, well... nothing can be safer than hanging out with a super-powerful alicorn, right?"
"But this is a super-powerful alicorn with a temper and a habit of plunging the world into eternal night, remember?" protested Rainbow Dash, her forehooves crossed. "For all we know, this could be some kind of plot!"
"Dash, you're a super-powerful pegasus with a temper and a habit of bein' too danged judgmental," retorted Applejack, kneeing the rainbow-maned athlete. Turning to Pinkie Pie, the farmpony smiled reassuringly, her voice taking on a gentler tone. "Now, don't you worry none, sugarcube. Princess Luna is a perfectly respectable pony--" She took a moment to glare at Rainbow Dash. "--and Ah bet you two'll be safe as houses. We're gonna miss ya, Pink, but we won't stop ya from goin'. We wish ya the best."
The room was silent for a moment, until Rainbow Dash tentatively turned to Applejack. "You really think I'm super-powerful?" The earth pony only rolled her eyes.
"Anyway," intervened Twilight Sparkle. "Applejack's right. I can't even begin to imagine why the Princess chose you as a traveling companion--er, no offense--but it's not my place to question Princess Luna! We'll miss you, Pinkie, but we're really happy for you," The unicorn lost herself for a moment, eyes angled upwards and a slight smile playing across her face as she began to imagine the adventures her friend might experience. "I mean, just think about it! You'll get to be present as the Princess negotiates with the council of Marem--that's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Pinkie Pie!"
"She's right," Mrs. Cake finally admitted. She stepped forward, putting a hoof on Pinkie's own protectively. "Promise me you'll be careful, darling."
Pinkie nodded, grateful to have such supportive friends. "Thank you, everypony!" she cried earnestly. The Element of Laughter gently took her forehoof out from under Mrs. Cake's, only to throw both forelegs around the plump mare, burying her face in Mrs. Cake's thick mane. "I love you all so much!"
"Well, that was certainly heartwarming," commented a deep voice that didn't seem to match any of the ponies in the room. The tone was not entirely sarcastic, and yet Pinkie Pie could still hear a tinge of bitterness within. Opening her eyes, the unfazed Pinkie hopped up to the newly-arrived alicorn cheerfully as her friends and adoptive parents bowed down before their princess. Luna had apparently teleported into Sugarcube Corner recently, small smoky tendrils of magic radiating off of her horn.
"Princess!" gasped Rarity, she and Twilight the first to discard the pretense of formality. "Pinkie Pie was just telling us about the news, but, oh..." She frowned, hoof kneading the ground with anxiety. "If I had known royalty would be present, I certainly would have worn something more formal..."
"I do not mind," assured Princess Luna, waving a hoof dismissively. Rainbow Dash had to take a step back to avoid being accidentally kicked; by coincidence the princess had teleported in between her and Applejack, who had circled around to be able to address the newcomer directly. "To be entirely honest, it is a bit refreshing to be in such an informal place. The castle in Canterlot can be a bit exhausting in that manner. But never mind that!" Luna cast a vaguely anxious glance out the window, where the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon. "Pinkamena Diane, it would be preferable if we left soon after nightfall. Are you prepared to depart?"
Pinkie opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Twilight Sparkle took a tentative step forward. "Um, Princess? You wouldn't mind if I asked a few questions first, would you? I mean, it's no big deal, but I've read about Marem before and I'd like to see if I could sort out myth from reality. I mean, some of the things I've read just seem so..."
"Implausible," finished Luna for her. She was smiling, her face genuinely friendly and accommodating this time. She was obligated to bring Pinkamena Diane Pie with her, for the sake of research, but to be honest, she far preferred the relatively quiet and knowledge-seeking Twilight Sparkle. She had retained her positive opinion of the unicorn since the previous Nightmare Night, when Twilight had been one of the only citizens of Ponyville to truly accept her initially. It was something Luna herself probably would not have done in Twilight's place, but then, Luna had the benefit of experience. "We understand. Yes, we have--" She paused and glanced out the window again. "--at least a third of an hour before we and Pinkamena must depart. Question me all you like until then." She sat hesitantly, smiling down at her sister's student.
Twilight Sparkle let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's great!" she squealed, prompting an eye-roll from Rainbow Dash. She lay down, placing her forehooves in front of her and looking up at the princess with wide eyes as if listening to a bedtime story. "What should I ask first? Ooh, I've got one! One of my books on Equestrian anthropology mentioned that Marem is populated entirely by unicorns. But surely this must be an exaggeration; I mean, places like Cloudsdale are devoid of unicorns and earth ponies because they simply aren't accessible by pony races other than pegasi. But I can't imagine someplace being accessible only to unicorns. The closest I can imagine is a walled city only accessible via, say, a door similar to that leading into the royal treasury back in Canterlot. But even that door only opens to one exact hornprint--that is to say, Princess Celestia's. But a door like that built to allow in all unicorns..." She seemed to come back to reality now, realizing that she had been speaking nonstop, without pausing to breathe, for two entire minutes. She blushed sheepishly, forcing a grin. "Er, but all of that is just my own speculation. I guess what I'm trying to ask is... are there any ponies there that aren't unicorns?"
Luna gazed intensely at nothing in particular, as if she were trying to see all the way to Marem. "Well," she began. "We have not been to Marem in a very long time; our last visit took place before our... hiatus. But in that time--and, based on what Celestia has told us, now as well--the city was indeed populated exclusively by unicorns. This is not due to a matter of accessibility, however, but rather due to the fact that non-magical beings are simply not tolerated in Marem. The citizenry is not particularly open-minded, unfortunately."
"Wait!" interrupted Pinkie Pie, eyes wide with concern and several strands of hair on her mane going limp sadly. "But... what about me? I'm not a unicorn, and I don't want anypony to hate me!" she cried. Applejack put a forehoof on her shoulders comfortingly.
So fragile... Luna tried to maintain her composure, though she was not very comfortable around overly-emotional ponies. She had a feeling that she would need to adapt if she was going to travel with Pinkie Pie, however. "Er... worry not, Pinkamena Diane! Thou doest not hold the same magical abilities as a unicorn, it is true, yet thou hast a grand ability entirely different. 'Tis not everypony who may predict what will happen in future, and the Maremites shall surely accept this," She was slipping back into her Old Canterlot accent, and it was clear that the other ponies in the room were noticing it. Fluttershy was cowering in the next room, and Luna felt a tinge of guilt for frightening the timid mare.
A lock of Pinkie's hair twirled back into place hopefully. "Really? They'll like me?"
Well, it was entirely possible that the populace of Marem would dislike the fuschia-maned baker, but that would have more to do with her personality than her magical powers or lack thereof. But Luna didn't want her traveling companion to back away at the last minute, so she withheld from voicing this thought. "Yes, surely they will," she responded instead.
Pinkie smiled, the rest of her mane re-curling itself. She opened her mouth to respond but was again interrupted by the chattier-than-usual Twilight Sparkle. "Er, sorry to interrupt," she apologized lamely. "But now that that has been settled, I have one other question that I absolutely need answered. Do you mind?"
"Not at all," assured Luna, either not bothered by or oblivious to the fact that Pinkie Pie had been about to speak. "Go on."
Twilight Sparkle clopped her hooves together in triumph; this time Rainbow Dash was unable to repress a chuckle. "Great! So! I have to ask, is it true that the environment surrounding Marem actually enhances a unicorn's magical ability? I've never heard of a plant like that outside of books on Marem but... oh my, that would simply be fascinating!"
"Enhancing magic!" repeated Rarity reverently, bursting into the conversation. "My, I wonder if I could make my dresses even more beautiful there!"
Seeing his opportunity to catch the alabaster unicorn's attention, Spike jumped in as well. "Even better? Nah, that's impossible, right? Right, guys?"
"Yeah. 'Course," offered Applejack unconvincingly, shooting the lovestruck dragon a snide look.
A polychromatic bolt sprinted to the center of the group, facing down Applejack angrily. "Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute here! Do you just compliment everypony? Because I took that super-powerful comment seriously, you know that?"
"Oh, Rainbow, Ah swear to Celestia ya're the biggest egomaniac Ah've ever met!"
A tiny voice squeaked through the doorframe, "Psst, Applejack! Be careful!"
The earth pony spun around, squinting her eyes at Fluttershy with confusion. "Be careful doin' what, now?"
"She means using the phrase 'swear to Celestia,'" offered Rarity, running a hoof through her carefully-styled mane. "It's awfully rude, considering you could just as easily swear to our guest here, correct?"
Twilight sighed, facehoofing. "The Princess isn't as sensitive as you think she is, girls, but if you could just be quiet so she could explain--" She picked her head up and turned to Luna, only to find that Luna, in fact, wasn't there. "Huh?" She whipped her head around, surveying Sugarcube Corner. She noted in passing that the Cakes seemed to have fallen asleep on top of each other, having gorged themselves on cupcakes, in the midst of the ponies' conversation with Luna, but didn't bother waking them up. "Princess?" She frowned, realizing that another partygoer had disappeared as well--or, rather, the party planner herself. "Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie!"
An innocent giggle cut through the night, momentarily disturbing the spooky atmosphere of the Everfree Forest. "Wow, you left really fast, Princess! Like, Twilight was all 'blah blah blah books blah,' and the Rarity was all... well, she was all something, but then you were all boom and then we were flying through the very fabric of space and time OHMYGOSH--"
"Please be quiet," pled Luna meekly, carrying Pinkie on top of her back as she flew over the canopy of Everfree Forest. Her head hurt; she didn't like it when several ponies just began talking at once like that. In the days before she had ruled Equestria, Luna's dear friend Starswirl had diagnosed her with a psychological condition he called "agoraphobia," and she supposed that was what had taken hold prior to her unannounced teleportation from the farewell party. Since her days with Starswirl (This had, in fact, been before he grew the beard) she had developed enough psychological conditions to forget about the initial one, but it hadn't forgotten about her, apparently. "And we were not 'flying through the fabric of space and time,' as you say. We were flying through the fabric of space. Time had nothing to do with the matter."
Pinkie fell silent, perhaps sensing the alicorn's agitation. She wrapped her forehooves tighter around Luna's neck as she looked back introspectively, spotting the light of Ponyville across the forest. Goodbye, guys, she mouthed, smiling emptily. She wished she had eaten another cupcake before her and Luna's sudden departure. Somehow she doubted that she would be around many parties in the days to come.