I was sitting in my chair watching a rerun of House trying to ignore my leg, the rain always made it hurt, as I massaged the aching muscles there was a crack of thunder, a flash of blueish white, a pop as my t.v blew followed by darkness, my power had gone out except for my porch light; funny I thought I needed to replace the bulb. As I made my way out of my chair grabbing my cane so I could go to the breaker and get my power back on I noticed the smell of smoke and how much hotter it was in my house than normal, especially for midfall.
All of a sudden I realized I did need to replace my porch light, lightning had struck my house and ignited. MY HOUSE WAS ON MY FIRE, I remembered my training took some deep breaths and stumbled my way towards my kitchen so I could climb out of the window the kitchen was engulfed in fire, I turned around and was faced with more fire it was spreading fast I started to scream hoping someone would hear me and the fire department would have been there already to drag me out, I screamed, I prayed, I begged and I caught on fire and it didn't hurt this was wrong, if shrapnel burned and hurt than fire should hurt.
I was surrounded by a sudden tightness and a million things passing by me faster then I could focus. My body was hurled towards the ground, nausea wracking me and I wasn't able to hold onto my dinner any longer, that salmon was expensive. "So that's what apparating feels like," I said while I uneasily made my way onto my feet to look around the field I was standing in. I lived in L.A I wracked my brain trying to figure out what was going on the only two most likely explanations I came up with was I was in either heaven or hell and the infinite minority I was in a John Carter situation.
Looking around I realized I was surrounded by nothing but hills and grass. I had a long March ahead of me all of my rucking from basic was going to finally come in handy. It only took an hour of marching before I saw some columns of smoke, I doubled timed towards them.
My legs burned as I stumbled towards the group of smoke pillars I had spotted. I had thankfully located a road and started walking down it, following the path was a bit better on my leg but I really needed to sit or lay down soon but I needed water more. As I moved down the path I came across a sign telling me I was coming up to Ponyville I couldn't help but chuckle, the ways people name towns sometimes.
My strut and definitely not labored limp to the town was interrupted by my vision being filled with brown and a sudden rotation onto my left side followed by a crunching as my femur snapped, the plate holding it together twisting as I landed onto the smooth steel of my cane; shredding some of the bone. After the initial onset of nausea and chilling the pain hit me, I started screaming and crying; a voice from above caught my attention looking up I saw a large-eyed pink pony, definitely got John Cartered.
"Hi, my name's Pinkie Pie what's yours?" She was looking at me with infectious joy and a big grin on her face; when she realized I was crying her mane appeared to deflate a bit and she threw down a rope and helped me up to the edge, "Why are you crying, did you fall down that hole and get hurt?"
"Y-yeah I-I f-fell and l-landed on my cane, I t-think I b-broke my l-leg," I managed to choke out between sobs, "C-can you help me g-get to a h-hospital, Pinkie?" She perked up a bit and supported me while we made our way towards the town and hospital. And if you ever wondered it's really hard to support yourself on an animal that's about half your height.
"So what is your name?" She piped up and before I could answer she asked another question, "Oh, oh, and what's your job?"
"Well I'm a doctor, Dr. Anna E. Maus, what's your job Pinkie?" The pain had drifted away and was replaced by nausea once more.
"Oh well I'm a baker and Ponyvilles premier party pony, which reminds me," all of sudden she jumped into the air knocking me down and causing the fragments to shift more, "I NEED TO THROW YOU A WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY, bye doctor," she ran off before I could ask where we were, looking around I noticed she Conveniently abandoned me at the hospital.
"Welcome to ponyville general, how can I help you today?" A mare chirped as I crawled myself through the door, she had nice white fur and a pink mane.
"I broke my femur and need to go into surgery," I stammered out, "I know there's a lot of bureaucratic stuff we're supposed to get out of the way but I'll file the paperwork out afterward, ok?" Her head shifted up before she looked over the desk and down towards me, her eyes widening, her hoof lifted a microphone to her mouth.
"Trauma team to the lobby, trauma to the lobby, we have an exotic creature with a code S72.309A Trauma to the lobby," I could see the panic in her eyes but years of experience had tempered her well for situations like this, I don't think I would've been as calm. The clipping of hooves and clanking of a gurney heading down the hall caught my attention before I could complement the nurse on her calmness as a group of ponies rushed lifted me onto the gurney and pushed me toward an operating room.
"Hello, my name is Quick Stitch now I know you must be in pain but we're going to give you a shot of ketamine to put you under so we can start your surgery," The brown stallion in front of me said, good they were going to knock me out and perform surgery on me, an exotic creature.
"NO," I yelped out eyes wide causing the doctors the back up a slightly a scared look among them, "Don't knock me out I'll be able to help with the surgery, I'm a doctor too," this seemed to calm them down, "Okay get .009 milligrams of epinephrine and 14.2 milliliters of lidocaine," several of the nurses ran off to get the medication.
It took over 8 hours to get my femur cleaned and reconstructed, it turns out magic is real here as they used several spells to reshape my plate and better adhere it to my bone. I laid in my hospital bed going over the surgery, while filing my paperwork, the doctors and nurses who operated on me were extremely accepting of me telling them how to operate on my leg, which is unique I've never met a doctor who was okay with that, especially a surgeon, those arrogant bastards. Laying there the fact I was surrounded by sapient magic-using ponies finally dawned on me. "AHHHH,"