Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production

by Smoking Gun

Chapter 3: Viral Marketing

The two mares trotted down the hallway, their eyes fixed on the large wooden door that led to the executive’s office that Lyra had once stood in. The secretary hastily put down her hoof file when she saw the two beam lining for the entrance.

“Hey!” shouted the secretary. “She can’t go in there now,” she said, pointing at the light green unicorn.

“Actually, she can,” said Bon Bon as she and Lyra kept walking to the door. She didn’t even turn her head.

“Why?” asked the shocked employee.

“Because she’s with me.”

Bon Bon pushed the door open, startling the three executives inside. Sporting a confident smile, she stood before her co-workers stood before her co-workers. Lyra, standing behind her, fidgeted slightly.

“Miss Bon, thank you for joining us so... theatrically,” remarked Synergy. She peeked over Bon Bon’s shoulder. “And... Miss Heartstrings.” Lyra had trouble discerning if Synergy’s face was one of surprise or disgust.

The unicorn stepped forward with a forced smile. “Hey everybody—”

“Pony,” corrected Bon Bon.

Lyra bit her tongue to keep something questionable from coming out of her mouth again.

I wonder how long I can go before I say something stupid in front of these guys again, thought Lyra, keeping her forced smile up.

“So,” began Paradigm, “what business brings the two of you back here... together... without an appointment?”

Lyra raised her hoof, only to be interrupted by Bon Bon shover her hoof in front of her.

“I’ve brought Miss Heartstrings here today because she forgot to tell you who she really is,” said Bon Bon, giving everypony in the room a intrigued expression. “She’s the pony that’s going to change this network.”

Lyra’s pupils constricted along with the rest of her body. Bon Bon glanced back at her with a reassuring smile before turning her gaze back to the executives, whose looks were more akin to confusion.

“Excuse me,” said Marketing with disbelief.

“You’re excused,” Bon Bon quickly retorted. “You see, Only Human is going to be the final push that the Pub needs to dominate foal's programming in Equestria.”

Would have been nice to tell me that.

“I thought I was pretty clear before, but whatever,” Bon Bon said quickly. “Lyra Heartstrings over here is going to be our new golden ticket. I’ve taken the liberty of uploading her video presentation to the server. Why don’t we pull it up now?” she gestured.

For a brief second, Synergy scowled at Bon Bon before returning to a civil smile. “Miss Bon, Lyra has already presented her vision to us. We already passed. I’m sure she appreciates your support, but our decision is final.”

Bon Bon took a few steps forward, bringing herself a mere few inches from Synergy’s face. “Firstly: It’s ‘Miss Heartstrings’ to you.”

Lyra’s eyes widened as she gulped. Why do I feel the sudden urge to say ‘I’m not with her’?”

“Secondly,” Bon Bon continued, “as I recall, I wasn’t there for the presentation. I never got to have my input.”

“That’s because you weren’t there. We had to move ahead without you,” said Synergy, matter-of-factly.

“I've been promoted to your level. We’re equals here,” retorted the cream pony. “I didn’t give you the go-ahead to make a judgement call without me. Granted, just one pony’s opinion wouldn’t have changed things, but I think it’s only fair to both Miss Heartstrings and myself that we give her a second go.”

Synergy glared straight at Bon Bon, looking deep into her eyes. “You were lucky to get promoted at your age. It would be wise for you to—”

“Wouldn’t want the board of directors to think that their staff can’t work together as adults, would we?” Bon Bon cocked her left eyebrow and turned the corners of her mouth up.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, Synergy sank back into her chair. “Please have a seat, Miss Heartstrings,” the executive mumbled.

Grabbing one of the spare seats in the room, Lyra positioned herself in front of the television, making sure to give herself a reasonable distance.

Opting not to sit in her executive chair, Bon Bon pulled over another chair and sat next to Lyra, giving her a nod and a reassuring smile.

“Aren’t you going to join us, Miss Bon?” asked Structuring, nodding towards Bon Bon’s usual seat.

Bon Bon didn’t turn to her co-worker. “I prefer the view from here. But thanks.”

Opening her laptop, Bon Bon started sifting through the various video files on the Pub servers.

Lyra leaned over to Bon Bon, keeping her face angled towards the screen. “How were you able to get the video done so quickly?”

“I got top marks in my film editing class,” answered Bon Bon. “Plus, having enough money to buy computers that you use for nothing but rendering doesn’t hurt either.”

I never thought a pony talking about computers could sound hot.

Finally finding the file, Bon Bon turned down the lights with a switch that was built into the table and sent the video to the wall-mounted television with the tap of a key.

Oddly enough, the video started out in black and white. Floating through space were various sketches from Lyra’s Only Human Bible. They floated towards the screen as eerie music played. Coming on camera from the right was Lyra, walking on her hind legs, wearing a blazer and sporting a confident smile while holding an unlit cigarette in her right hoof.

“You’re about to enter a world of opposable thumbs and motorized vehicles, where nudity is taboo,” she said, looking directly at the camera. “A world of flawed creatures with great dreams. A world without magic. A world with unlimited possibilities.”

After the last sentence, Lyra and her sketches faded away, with an image of a door taking their place.

“You open this door with your new hands and step into the world of... Only Human.”

As the door opened, several shards from off-screen came together to form Lyra's logo

Back in reality, Bon Bon leaned in close to Lyra and whispered in her ear, “I’m not gonna lie, I only knew about the Twilight Zone from random clips online.”

“That’s fine,” returned Lyra. “I had no idea what the hay we were doing, so I just went with it.”

The two giggled for a couple of seconds before returning their attention to the screen.

The next scene in the presentation took place on a sheet of lined paper, the kind that Lyra would have used back in school. A drawing animation generated the sketches from Lyra’s book onto the page while Lyra gave a voice-over.

“The show follows six humans in particular: three boys and three girls, or ‘men’ and ‘women,’ that all study at a university together. Name of university pending.”

Bon Bon leaned towards Lyra. “Where did you get those names from? Did you pull them from somewhere? Are they scientific terms?” she whispered.

Keeping her eyes on the screen, Lyra whispered back, “In all honesty, I pulled those words out of my flank.”

The two started to giggle again, until Structuring promptly ‘shushed’ them.

The humans appeared one by one on the screen. The first was a female in a lab coat with her hair done up in a ponytail. “This is Sarah, who is a biology student. She is a sceptic, an elitist, and a total bookworm.”

A male with long black hair came second, wearing a blue shirt, a red jacket, and thick spectacles. His physique was rather muscular. “This is Clark, a journalism student with a uncomprisable moral code and a kind and generous heart, as well as a built-in drive to help those in need.”

The next girl appeared. She was wearing tight jogging shorts, a sports bra, and running shoes. Her physique was particularly noteworthy compared to the other two humans: Her stomach, arms, and legs were well defined, and her gluts were drawn to look firm. “Next is Diane, the athlete. She’s competitive, headstrong, and, well... shall we say, a bit thick-skulled at times?”

“She’s the idiot of the show, isn’t she?” whispered Bon Bon.

“Wait for it,” Lyra answered.

The next male entered. He was shorter than the others by a fair bit. He had curly hair, skinny arms and legs, and a less-than-attractive smirk on his face. He wore shorts, flip-flops, and a T-shirt that was clearly too big for him. “This handsome devil is Justin. He’s the cocky, wise-mouth, prankster, up-to-no-good member of the group.”

“Oh, there he is!” exclaimed Bon Bon, who was, once again, shushed by Structuring.

The final female appeared. Humans may have been a new concept to everypony in the room, but it was clear that this one was the bombshell of the cast. Her breasts were large, her figure was curvy, and she had long hair, thick eyelashes, full lips, and long legs. “This hot momma—”

Why the hell did I say that?

“—is Clair. She’s a fashion expert who wages war on all things unfabulous. However, she has a tendency to be vapid, self-centered, egotistical, and manipulative when she wants things to go her way.”

And the final human took his place next her. “And last, but certainly not least, is Peter.” This human didn’t look like the others. His skin was a dark brown, he had a broad build, and he was wearing incredibly fancy clothes, including a top hat, coattails, slacks, and a cane. “Peter is the ‘fancy lad’ of the humans. Always doing what he can to stand out from the crowd, he wears the most expensive and fancy clothes he can get his hands on, often putting himself into an elitis mindset when he interacts with other people.”

Structuring turned to Bon Bon and Lyra. “So, is he supposed to be the Zebra of the show?”

He was quickly shushed by the two of them.

The sketches of the humans disappeared from the screen. In their place was Lyra, sitting in a huge chair, wearing a smoking jacket, carrying a corncob pipe—which blew bubbles—right in front of a fireplace.

“Now, I don’t always create creatures in my free time. But when I do, I make them flawed, but I make them brave.” Lyra smiled warmly at the camera. “Humans are creatures that are naturally prone to failure. They fall, they lie, they make mistakes, just like us ponies. So, what makes humans so special? They’re special because none of what I just said matters. If they fail, they try again. If they fall, they get back up. Humans are the representation of what ponies can be. Their flaws and natural distrust of each other early in the series will not matter. Why?”

The camera cut to a close-up shot of Lyra. “Because they’re only human.”

Suddenly, Lyra was replaced with the logo for the show.

“Only Human is a Lyra Heartstrings production!” proclaimed Lyra’s voice-over.

With no more words, the video ended.

With the video reaching its conclusion, Bon Bon rotated her chair to face her fellow executives, Lyra copying her. Without saying anything, Bon Bon slipped off her chair and trotted back over to her usual spot next to the executives. Synergy, Paradigm, and Structuring gazed blankly as she took her seat.

“I trust the four of us are ready to make a decision in regard to this new product?” asked Bon Bon, quickly winking at Lyra.

Synergy leaned towards Bon Bon. “Miss Bon—”

“Don’t talk to me, talk to her,” Bon Bon said, pointing at Lyra, who was smiling nervously.

Synergy took a deep breath and adjusted herself to face Lyra, who just kept on smiling. “Miss Heartstrings, we appreciate the effort that you’ve put into improving your presentation, and while it is a much more convincing presentation than your last one—”

Really?

“I believe I speak for my fellow executives—at least most of them—when I say that this still isn’t a viable investment on our part.”

Lyra’s smile started to wane until Bon Bon suddenly raised her hoof.

“Excuse me, Miss Synergy, but I don’t really see how it wouldn’t be a wise investment.”

Forcing a smile onto her face, Synergy faced Bon Bon, staring straight into her eyes. “Only Human has nothing attached to it. No media attention, no financial backing, and no place in the public conscience.”

“Actually...” Bon Bon opened her laptop again and launched a web browser, heading straight for YouTube. “Only Human has more going for it than even Miss Heartstrings knows.”

Oh, Celestia...

Lyra turned her head to the T.V. She saw the cursor head for the search bar, and the words “Only Human Pitch” appeared in it. The very first result was a video titled “Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production.” The thumbnail for the video was the image of Lyra on her hind legs, wearing a blazer.

Suddenly, everypony—excluding Bon Bon—shared the same expression of shock and horror, going wide-eyed and slack jawed.
I’m going to jail. I don’t know how, but I am going to jail.

“Miss Heartstrings!” shouted Paradigm. “Publishing content in regards to your pitch directly violates the contract you would have signed to present your show to us!”

Oh, that’s how.

“Mister... Y-y-y-y-you see I have no idea-”

Bon Bon interjected, “Miss Heartstrings had nothing to do with this little leak.” All eyes were suddenly on the junior executive. “You see, Miss Heartstrings left this presentation in my care. I left my laptop on, unprotected and unattended. There are plenty of news hounds out there who would do anything to get the scoop on our upcoming developments.” Bon Bon started playing with her mane as she looked away, sporting a cheeky grin. “Obviously, this fiend hacked my computer and posted the video on YouTube... not that there’s a way to tell who did for certain.”

The only sound that broke the silence was the humming of the television in the background. That was until Lyra started to hear her own heartbeat. It sounded like her heart had taken a trip up to her brain and started a mosh pit.

She is going to jail.

Synergy breathed in, deep and slow, not breaking eye contact with the cream mare. “And what exactly has come of this ‘little leak,’ Miss Bon?”

“Look in the comments.”

Everypony looked back to the T.V., which showed nothing but positive comments, up-votes, and “likes” across the board.

Bon Bon continued, “If I may direct your attention to the top comments, we can see that ‘XxKandiSucaxX’ said that Only Human looks ‘Sawiiit,’ while ‘SlenderMare’ adds ‘Toats.’”

Lyra scanned ahead and started reading the other comments. One by one, she saw nothing but positive expectations, optimism, and humour, all about her show.

She knew this would happen, didn’t she?

“Before we continue, I’d like to show you two more things.” Bon Bon scrolled up to show the description attached to the video. “You’ll note that the description explains the premise of the show, as well as Lyra’s background. Including her education, age and experience—or lack thereof. The second is the hit counter. I don’t believe I need to explain why that many digits are important. Now, imagine the sort of attention we could get for this. A rookie with nothing more than a dream stepped forward to produce one of the best new concepts in television history. We get good press and Lyra gets her show, everybody wins.”

“Everypony,” corrected Lyra.

Wait... did I just do that?

“Everypony, I’m sorry,” remarked Bon Bon with a smile. “So, Miss Heartstrings, my associates and I have a choice. We can green-light a show that will bring us nothing but good press and new interest, or we can let the public outcry that’s bound to result from us shooting down your project eliminate what positive place we still have in the public’s mind.”

Bon Bon’s smirk was not directed at her fellow executives, who just stared in amazement at her.

I can’t tell if they’re impressed or are planning to kill her... or both.

Structuring and Paradigm turned their attention to Synergy who kept her eyes fixed on Bon Bon. She then looked to Lyra, who was clearly sweating in her seat. Synergy then closed her eyes, processing her position. Lyra shot Bon Bon a worried expression while Bon Bon just smiled and winked at her.

Synergy finally spoke up. “Twenty-six episodes, oriented to the female demographic, Saturday mornings a few weeks before we kick off the new seasons of our other shows. We need to be ready to fill up the schedule when the show falls flat on its flank.” She stared deep into Bon Bon’s eyes. “Well?”

Female demographic?

“Don’t ask me, ask her.”

Before Lyra could prepare herself mentally, she was staring Synergy down. The executive stared daggers into the unicorn.

Breathe, Heartstrings. Breathe.

Without warning, Synergy chuckled, showing off a predator’s smile that did nothing to calm Lyra’s nerves. “Well, Miss Heartstrings? It’s your show. It’s your call.” Synergy’s eyes narrowed, and she continued smirking. “Are you ready to give humanity life?”

This is it, Heartstrings. This is what all your hard work was for. Your friend took a risk to get you here. Don’t let her down. Don’t let yourself down!

“I think that’s quite all right,” Lyra said confidently. “I’m ready to move forward if the Pub will have me.”

“Oh, we’d be more than happy to own you, Miss Heartstrings.”

Come again?

“Mister Structuring,” asked Synergy, “would you be so kind as to have the legal department write up some contracts for Miss Heartstrings to sign tomorrow?”

“I’ll get on that immediately.”

“Wonderful. Now, Miss Heartstrings, you’re new to this industry, so it’s only fair that I make something very clear to you before we proceed.”

If she says ‘seven days,' I’m out.

“We are partners in this venture. We are a team now. If you follow our lead, take our input, and listen to our advice, we promise you will have an amazing experience under the Pub banner. But in order for this to work, we need your word that you’re prepared to work with us—work with us very closely. Do I make myself clear?”

Lyra gulped. “Yes, Miss Synergy.”

Synergy’s smile went from freaky to warm and welcome in a flash. “Excellent. We’ll have you come in for the signing tomorrow. We should have a public announcement ready by next week. Until then, you’re dismissed.” Synergy looked to the cream pony sitting next to her. “Both of you.”

Lyra followed Bon Bon into the elevator silently, looking back over her shoulder to notice the secretary shooting her a glare. Once the two had entered the elevator, Bon Bon pushed the button for the ground floor, the two waiting in silence for the door to shut. The second it did, Bon Bon quickly hit the emergency stop button. Lyra gave her a confused look.

“What was that for?”

Bon Bon didn’t turn to face Lyra. She just kept her face towards the door, smirking a little bit. “You can do it now.”

“I’m sorry?”

“They aren’t looking. You can do it now,” the cream pony said out of the corner of her cheeky-looking mouth.

After a brief pause, Lyra shook her head and turned back towards the door, mimicking Bon Bon. After a few more seconds of silence, her lips turned up, growing wider and wider. Her lips parted, revealing her pearly whites. Giggles started to sneak out from her grin until she exploded into laughter and cheers. The unicorn bounced up and down and started hopping around Bon Bon, who just watched on like a proud parent. Lyra’s cheering started to bounce off the walls of elevator, almost tripling the volume in Bon Bon’s ears.

Back in the lobby, the secretary, who was now joined by Synergy, stared at the elevator door with bemused expressions on their faces as they bathed in the giddiness that was emanating from the closed metal box.

“Excuse me, Miss,” asked the secretary. “Should we tell them that we can hear them?”

Synergy did not respond.

After a few minutes or laughter and cheers, Lyra finally came to a stop. Sweating and smiling, she gave Bon Bon a hug with what energy she had left.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she said as she squeezed the air out of the earth pony. “You have no idea how much this means to me!”

“Trust me,” Bon Bon gasped, “I have a rough idea... you can let go now.”

“Oh, sorry.” Lyra released Bon Bon, letting her breathe again. Sharing a little giggle, Bon Bon pushed the emergency stop button once more, sending the elevator down to the ground floor.

“Let’s get you out of here,” said Bon Bon as she started to get her breath back. “Your sweat is starting to fill up the room.”

The elevator opened to the foyer. The two mares trotted out, sporting confident smiles as they strutted past the other ponies in the room. Lyra noticed a bunch of other ponies giving them odd looks.

They’re either paying attention to my ecstasy or my B.O, either way, I don’t care.

The doorpony held the door open as they trotted down the stairs before eventually reaching the sidewalk. Their smiles were still holding strong.

Lyra turned to her new friend. “Bon Bon?”

“Don’t mention it,” brushed off the junior executive. “I was doing my job. I saw potential, and I got it green-lit. Besides, you already said ‘thank you.’”

“I don’t care.” Lyra was standing only a few inches from Bon Bon. “I know this is rare for anypony and I... THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU—”

“Easy!” Bon Bon raised a hoof in the air, signalling Lyra to calm down. “You’re welcome. How’s that?” she asked with a wise-smirk.

Lyra took a few breaths, and her heart rate moved closer to normal, though it was clear that her excitement wasn’t dissipating any time soon. “Better, hehe. So... now what?”

“We wait for the announcement next week. Then we begin production, casting, animation, all that good stuff. Until then, I suggest you chillax. You’re gonna be busy beyond belief once we get into things.”

“Sure,” she said slowly. “Hey, Bon Bon, what did Synergy mean when she brought up that whole ‘female demographic’ thing?”

Bon Bon’s eyes flicked from left to right. She shifted uncomfortably before speaking. “It’s... how we’re gonna market the show. It’s how we’ll have to make the show in order for it to be a viable investment.”

“But I made the show for boys and girls. That’s why there’s an even amount of them in the cast.” Lyra’s smile Lyra's smile had been replaced by a look of concern.

“That’s true... and that’s why we have to make it for girls.”

Lyra didn’t respond with words. She just stared with an arched eyebrow, gazing at Bon Bon until she elaborated.

“You see, when half the core cast of a product consists of females, it is considered a ‘female demographic’ product by its investors. In this case, because you have three females as well as three males, the show will be targeted towards our female viewers more than our male ones.” Bon Bon started to sweat when Lyra remained silent. “It’s just the way executives do things.”

“So let me get this straight,” began the unicorn. “Because there are just as many girls as there are boys, it must be made for girls?”

“Focus groups over the past few decades have shown that’s how audiences have viewed it.”

Lyra looked away and shook her head with disbelief. “Wow. That is... almost sickening.”

Bon Bon quickly put her hooves on Lyra’s shoulders, causing the unicorn’s gaze to return to the mare in front of her. “Forget about that crap. That’s just for the stupid marketing department to worry about. I’ve seen what you’ve got. I know what this show is going to be. You won’t have to worry about that. You got a show on the Pub Network, for pony sake!”

Lyra’s smile returned. “Heh, I guess that’s true,” she said with a light shrug.

I’ve only known her for a couple of days and she already knows how to keep me smiling.

Bon Bon released Lyra. “We’ll talk about what you’ll need to do next later. I’ve got some other stuff to take care of, but then I’m all yours.”

You bet you are.

Bon Bon continued. “Until then, take a load off.”

Lyra lunged forward and gave her friend one more hug for the road. “Yeah, yeah. I know I’ve said thank you already.”

“OK, OK,” laughed Bon Bon.

Lyra let go, giving her a moment to stare into Bon Bon’s eyes. The two blushed and smiled before turning away.

“I... I should head home. I’ve got some stuff to take care of,” mumbled Bon Bon.

“Yeah, me too,” added Lyra. “Last time I made Ditzy worried, she put up lost dog signs with a picture of me on it.”

Bon Bon let out a chuckle. “Sounds like a real friend, right there.” She started to walk backwards. “Well... see ya!”

“Yeah,” returned Lyra. “See ya... and stuff.”

The two turned away from each other and headed opposite directions on the sidewalk. Bon Bon gazed over her shoulder, only to catch Lyra on her hind legs, doing ballerina twirls down the street.

Ditzy’s Muffins wasn’t particularly busy during the evening, so Ditzy would take the opportunity to get the cleaning done early. She would take the all-purpose cleaner and spray down all the windows and tables. Wiping away, over and over and over again in silence. A content smile hung off her face as she hummed to herself, soaking in the light of the twilight sky that bounced off her freshly cleaned furniture and signs.

The pegasus’ humming was disrupted by the sound of the bell hanging over the door making its usual noise when a customer walked in. The customer in question was a green unicorn, twirling into the muffin shop with a goofy grin and a song in her heart.

“Somepony get laid?” Ditzy asked as she put her cleaning equipment on the counter.

Lyra stopped twirling and brought herself face-to-face with her roommate. “Better. Only Human go greenlit!”

Lyra froze in place, on her hind legs, with her forelegs in the air as she awaited Ditzy’s response. Ditzy stared straight at her with a blank expression.

“No, seriously. Did you get laid?” Just as Lyra’s smile started to fade, Ditzy erupted into laughter. Ditzy ran up to Lyra and gave her a big hug. “ I’m kidding, dummy. Congratulations! I knew you’d do alright.”

“Really?”

“For the sake of your rent, yep.”

Ditzy released Lyra, leaving the two free to head up the stairs to their apartment.

“You should've seen it!” exclaimed Lyra as the two reached the stairs. “We just strutted in—”

“You’re right. I should’ve seen that.”

Lyra socked her in the arm as they entered the apartment. “We showed them our presentation, which it turns out Bon Bon had leaked on the net beforehand.”

“Hoof,” corrected Ditzy. “Wait a minute, is that legal? Was she allowed to do that?”

“Barely, and that’s what’s so awesome about her! Just listening to the way they talked, it was like drama. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who’s working together? It was a total play. This was some Breaking Bad stuff right here!”

Ditzy’s only reaction was a roll of her wall-eyes.

I’m never gonna get used to that.

“I’ll pretend that the reference you just made wasn’t that dumb and let you continue,” groaned the pegasus.

“Because she leaked the video, it got a whole bunch of positive attention from ponies across Equestria. All that attention would have given the Pub bad press if they refused my show, so Bon Bon was able to get them all to green-light it. They’re making the announcement tomorrow and we’ll be on in time for next fall. Ditzy, it’s happening! I knew if I kept going thing would work out. Just like my little hu—”

“Wait!” Ditzy suddenly had her hoof up to Lyra’s mouth, cutting off her speech. “You’re saying that this mare that you met only a couple days ago came to you and helped you get your show on the air. Not only get your show on the air, but get it on the air by going against her co-workers.”

“Yeah!” said Lyra with a giant earnest smile.

Ditzy didn’t respond verbally. She stared at Lyra, who continued to hold her smile until Ditzy finally spoke up. “I’m just gonna stand here until you realize what’s wrong with that.”

“Oh, it’s OK. Because Bon Bon didn’t tell me she was going to leak the video, I have plausible deniability. I don’t get sued, and the show gets on the air.”

“That’s not the... argh!” Ditzy facehoofed. Upon removing the hoof, she wore a more somber expression. “Sweetheart, I think you’re moving a little too fast here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lots of things. Firstly, let’s look at this whole leaking situation. You got lucky this time, but what happens if she tries something else and puts your career at risk? Do you honestly still trust her after this?”

“Totally!” she proclaimed with not an ounce of irony. “She did that for me. She did it to get my show on the air.” Lyra started to turn dreamy-eyed. “She’s so cool, Ditzy. She said I was an artist, got my show on the air, we hugged, and—”

“Stop.” Ditzy shoved her hoof straight into Lyra’s mouth. “Stop right there. I think I’m starting to see the problem here. Sweetie, do you remember our talk last night? The one about going too fast? The one about this Bon Bon?”

Lyra shifted her eyes back and forth, doing her best to keep smiling. “Maybe?”

“Lyra, I know she seems like a great mare. She’s helped you out, talked you up, got your show going, but I think you’re getting way too far ahead of yourself. Especially considering the delicate situation she’s recklessly put you in.”

“Ditzy, you’re being ridiculous,” she scoffed back. “I haven’t been moving too fast with anything.”

“No, of course you haven’t. You just strutted out of university, went straight to a bunch of the top networks in Equestria with a set of creatures that you pulled out of your flank with no money or experience under your belt, and already wanna shack up with some mare you just met.”

Lyra looked at the ground. “I didn’t say I wanted to ‘shack up.’”

Ditzy gently laid a hoof on her Lyra’s face. “Sweetie, I don’t doubt that she’s very nice, but really stop and think about where you are right now. Bon Bon has put you in a very bad position with these ponies who are now your employers. She seems young and reckless. It’s great that you’re gonna get your show on the air, but I think it’s a seriously bad idea to be pursuing this girl, especially right at this second.”

Looking into Ditzy’s good eye, Lyra showed utter disappointment plastered across her whole being.

We JUST talked about this... and I already jumped the gun.

“Ditzy... I don’t know. She just seems so cool and she did a really good thing for me. Only Human is getting made, we’re gonna be seeing more of each other and... I don’t know.”

The grey pegasus smiled at her. “Lyra, you got a T.V. show green lit. How many ponies can say that? It wasn’t because some mare leaked your video. It wasn’t because she helped you make a video. It’s because you made something that ponies want to see. My suggestion at this point would be to just focus on making the show as great as you possibly can. Focus on your work, keep it professional but friendly with Bon Bon, and maybe when things have calmed down... who knows? Besides, I want to get to know Bon Bon myself... to make sure I don’t let my girl get snatched up by some hussy.”

Lyra pulled Ditzy in close for a hug, nuzzling up against her head. “Thanks, Ditzy. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine, sweetheart. You just needed somepony to slap some sense into you. Speaking of which, I have an idea of what you can do while you’re waiting for the announcement to come out.”

“And what’s that?”

Grabbing hold of Lyra, Ditzy turned her around to the clothes hanger behind them. She gestured towards a cleaning apron laying on the floor at the foot of the wardrobe.

“You can work on keeping up your half of the rent until that T.V. money starts to come in.”

The two shared a laugh as Lyra levitated her apron off the ground and strapped it to herself. Lyra trotted to the door, only for Ditzy to dash in front of her.

“And before you even think about it, the answer is no.”

“Think... about what?” asked Lyra with trepidation in her voice.

“You’re a big time T.V. writer with your own show on Equestria’s number one network, and I’m a muffin store owner. I am clearly out of your league.”

The pulled-back curtains allowed the light of Luna’s moon to illuminate Bon Bon’s penthouse. The blue light glistened off all the metal objects on the room, creating a beautiful shine. Trotting straight out of the elevator, Bon Bon’s entrance triggered the automatic lights, shattering the moonlight effect. Heading straight for the kitchen, she pulled out some canned apple cider before slumping onto the couch. She turned on the wall-mounted television to Desperate Housemares and watched in silence for a few moments, only to be halted by her ringtone. With a groan, she reached for her phone and answered.

“Yellow?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” the pony on the other side of the line growled into their phone.

Bon Bon chuckled. “Sup, Synergy. I was just looking for some crap to watch. Unfortunately all the shows you green-lit aren’t on right now.”

“Clearly you don’t know, so I’ll tell you,” Synergy continued, ignoring the junior executive. “You’re not thinking. At least not like a business pony should.”

The cream pony muted the T.V. “Are you sure? Because the meeting I went to today ended with me and a young writer getting a show green-lit. What meeting did you go to?”

“I went to the meeting where you acted like a spoiled child, thinking you could undermine us in front of a mare who is now our employee, not to mention the rest of Equestria. I know I’m some old-timer who’s probably outdated, but those are not the actions of a pony who wants to make friends.”

Bon Bon’s smirk slowly faded as she sat up straight and placed her can of cider on the table in front of her. “I was simply doing as you taught me. Be aggressive, be smart, pay attention to the way Equestria thinks. That’s exactly what I did.” Bon Bon swallowed the spit that built up in her mouth as she was talking. “Plus, I saw a pony who was in a similar position to me not too long ago. I got to move up the ranks with a bit of help. I thought she deserved the same help.”

“Well, look at you on your high horse!” Synergy shouted. “You’ve been an executive for a year. Get over yourself!”

Sweat dripped from Bon Bon’s forehead and onto the couch.

Synergy continued. “You two are made for each other. A couple of foals who ran before they could walk. You know what happens to ponies that do that? They fall, and they fall hard.”

Bon Bon’s breathing quickened. “Is that supposed to be a threat?”

“‘Threat’ implies that I’m going to do something about this. I won’t have to. You two idiots have set yourselves up. And when the board sees you for the unstable, unprepared little filly that you are, you’ll be relieved of your duty. The reason I’m frustrated is that this little exercise in heroism of yours is going to cost us a lot of time and money—time and money that we could be spending on projects that are being made by people with actual experience!”

Bon Bon paused for a moment. “Did you just say people?”

The phone went dead silent for a little too long. Not even the sound of Synergy’s breathing came through.

Bon Bon gulped, and the senior executive on the other end of the line said, “Look, let me give you one piece of advice. I’ve seen the way that mare looks at you, and I’ve caught the way you look at her as well. This whole deal is probably going to break this girl’s career. Do her a favour and don’t break her heart in the process.”

Without another word, Synergy hung up. Bon Bon lowered her phone onto the couch and looked up at the T.V., not bothering to unmute it, watching the romantic leads of Desperate Housemares chew up the scenery silently. She looked back down at the Only Human title card that was resting on her living room table.

“What have I gotten myself into?”

Next: A Necessary Troll!