//------------------------------// // The Plot Thickens // Story: The Alicorn Foal // by MythrilMoth //------------------------------// Days passed, as days will. Thanks to Luna and Celestia, the only real crises involving Velvet Frost were of the usual variety: early-morning feedings, late-night diaper changes, the occasional inexplicable fever. And crying. Lots of crying. Velvet was entering a particularly cranky phase, where she would often cry for no apparent reason. Twilight and Cadance had spent more time awake than asleep since this phase began, sitting around the house tending to the foal, reading, and eating. And eating. And eating. "Ugh," Twilight groaned one morning as she shambled out of the nursery, down the stairs, and into the kitchen, opening the fridge with magic and levitating out milk, butter, and eggs. She plopped down at the table and hauled a skillet, utensils, and bread out of various cabinets, directing breakfast to cook itself with little real attention paid to what she was doing. Cadance trotted downstairs a few minutes later and wordlessly hijacked the milk, pouring it over a bowl of incredibly sugary cereal. Shining Armor looked up from where he was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. "You girls are a sad sight," he said. His wife and sister glared at him. "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Cadance demanded. "It means maybe you should...kinda go easy on the chow there, get a little fresh air, a little exercise?" Shining Armor suggested. "Are you saying we're fat?" Twilight asked dangerously. "No, not at all! Well..." "How'd you like to be gelded, dear?" Cadance asked sweetly, a knife wreathed in her magical aura. "Please, like that threat'll work on me," Shining Armor scoffed. "Seriously, I'll take care of things today. Just...go out and get some exercise!" Twilight sighed. "I suppose...it would do us some good..." "Us?" Cadance asked dangerously. "Do you REALLY want to ride that train, Cadance?" Twilight asked sweetly. Shining Armor coughed. "Ladies?" The two mares blinked, then had the grace to look sheepish. "Yyyyeah, let's...sorry," Twilight said. "No, I'm sorry," Cadance replied. There was a pause. "Let's go visit Pinkie Pie," the mares said in unison, before cantering for the front door. Shining Armor facehoofed. * * * * * Pinkie was chowing down on raw sugar when the two mares walked through the door. She raised an eyebrow. "Uhh...you two are lookin' a little lumpy in the rumpy," she stated bluntly. Twilight groaned. "Not you too," she moaned. "Give us a break," Cadance whined. "Foalsitting 24/7 is hard!" Pinkie nodded sagely. "That's for sure." She hauled a thick, gooey chocolate cake off a shelf behind the counter and plopped it in front of the mares with a loud thud. The three of them dove in with abandon. After a while, Twilight looked up at Pinkie, face covered in crumbs and icing. "Say, Pinkie," she asked, "how do you keep YOUR figure? I mean, you eat more sweets and sugar than anypony I've ever known..." "Oh, I'm just naturally skinny," Pinkie replied happily. "I have a high metabolism. I can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and never get even a little teeny bit flabby!" "Lucky," Cadance grumbled, taking a large bite of cake. "Weeeellllll...if you girls are really worried about your weight, I think Rainbow Dash is running some kind of fitness class on her off days..." Twilight and Cadance looked at one another. "Seriously?" Twilight asked. "DASH is doing extra work?" "Well...she was really disappointed in the pitiful shape the tornado team was in last year..." * * * * * A carriage, being driven by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, careened into a large rock, smashing against it, raining broken boards and bent nails everywhere. The stallions who had been pulling the carriage took off into the distance; the fillies inside it sat around, dazed. Rainbow Dash descended upon them like a flurry of wendigoes, looking shabbier and more unkempt than anypony had ever seen her. She had cider sloshed all over her scruffy, somewhat mangy coat, her mane was in complete disarray, and her bloodshot eyes were hidden behind wraparound mirrorshades. "Okay, I'm in a real bad mood this mornin'," the grungy, cider-breathed blue pegasus growled at the three fillies in the demolished carriage. "So your head is goin' up the driver's plot, her head's goin' up YOUR plot, and you...well, you drew the short straw, 'cuz your head's goin' up MY plot..." "EWWWWWWW," the unicorn filly in the carriage said, giggling. "CUT!" Rainbow Dash screamed in frustration, pulling off her mirrorshades and throwing them at the ground in frustration. "SWEETIE BELLE!" "S-sorry, Rainbow Dash," Sweetie wheezed out between giggles. "It's just...that...it's so..." Rainbow's lips twitched, then she started laughing too. "Yeah, it is pretty..." Nearby, a unicorn stallion with a pencil-thin mustache, a beret, and a cutie mark of a movie camera planted his forehooves on his flanks and assumed a haughty expression. "Ex-CUUUUSE me," he whined. "Any time you ladies are ready to do this thing for real—" "Rainbow Dash!" a voice cut across the movie set, as two mares trotted right into the middle of the shot. The director pony threw up his hooves and stomped off to his trailer, grumbling. Cadance watched him. "What's HIS problem?" she asked. "Eh, give him time to cool down," Rainbow said dismissively, picking up her discarded mirrorshades and polishing them on her chest. "He's just mad 'cuz somepony keeps laughin' in the middle of shootin' this scene..." "I said I was sorry," Sweetie replied petulantly. "Shooting...scene?" Cadance asked, blinking. "What in Equestria—?" "We're makin' a movie," Rainbow Dash replied brightly. "Didn't Twi tell you?" Twilight blinked. "I don't think you told me, Dash." "I didn't?" Dash replied, scratching her head in puzzlement. "Oh. Well, anyway..." "So you're busy with this," Twilight gestured around, "so I guess Pinkie was wrong about that fitness class..." "Oh, that?" Dash asked. "Yeah, that's still goin' on. I just handed it over to somepony else. Why, you interested?" "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH!!" a guttural male voice roared, startling them. Dash glowered at the massively overmuscled, tiny-winged white pegasus stallion who was suddenly standing beside her. "I was askin' THEM, Snowflake. And shouldn't you be, y'know, runnin' the fitness class?" "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!" Snowflake bellowed, spraying spittle at everypony, before galloping off to rejoin the exercise class. Twilight and Cadance stared after him. "Uhhh...I think we'll just skip on that..." Twilight said. "Yeah. Um...good luck with your movie...thing," Cadance added. "Okay! Later!" * * * * * Twilight sighed. "This is really depressing." "Yeah." "Hey Twi, hey Princess," Applejack drawled as she trotted up alongside them, a heavy basket laden with supplies strapped to her back. "What'chy'all up to?" "Oh, hey Applejack," Twilight said. "We're just...trying to figure out what to do about getting some exercise." The farmpony raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, y'all ARE kinda a sorry sight," she nodded. Then, she brightened up. "Y'all know whut's good fer a flabby fanny? Applebuckin'!" She reared up on her hind legs and gestured at herself with her forehooves, somehow managing to not upset her cargo. "See this? There ain't not one ounce'a fat on me!" "Yeah, but...it isn't exactly applebuck season right now, is it?" Twilight asked. "Actually, Ah got a crop o' goldens what done come in a mite early," Applejack replied. "Y'all're more'n welcome t' help if'n y'all want." Twilight and Cadance looked at one another, shrugged, and followed Applejack back to the farm. * * * * * Three hours later, Twilight and Cadance left the farm, completely and utterly sore. "I hope...that was worth it," Cadance panted. "Yeah...I'm sure we at least...worked off the cake...we had at Pinkie's..." Twilight replied. "Maybe...we're going about this the wrong...way," Cadance puffed. "Maybe...we should...just...go on a diet..." "You...have a point there..." Twilight agreed. Derpy flew past the two tired mares just then, a tray of fresh, hot, steaming blueberry muffins balanced carefully in her forehooves. Twilight and Cadance looked at one another. "Hey, Derpy, wait up!" "Share the muffins!"