Alright.
I don't really have any business telling this part of the story, since I wasn't there. But it needs to be told. Partially because I’ve been asked, I guess. But partially because this is as much Vinyl’s story as it is mine, and dammit if I don’t wanna be accurate.
I can't guarantee that any of this is exactly accurate, of course. It’s not anypony’s favorite subject, after all. I understand the gist of the discussion that occured, perhaps with a slight bias towards one party. Just keep it in mind as you think this stuff over.
Anyway.
After Vinyl stayed with me for a while (and I said some things that maybe I shouldn’t have said), she went back home. That is, the home she shared with Octavia. Octavia’s home, which she lived in.
Vinyl reached for the door and slid her key into the lock, but the door swung open on its own. The sound of a whistling tea kettle could be heard from the front stoop.
"Tavi?" Vinyl called, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "I'm home."
"I'm in the kitchen, Vinyl," Octavia responded.
Vinyl swallowed, pushing down a lump of anxiety with little success.
She walked slowly through the darkened house and into the kitchen. Octavia's back was to Vinyl. She was pouring hot water from the kettle into a plain, white mug.
"Hey," Vinyl said.
"Hello," Octavia replied.
Vinyl hoisted herself into the counter near Octavia. "How was home?"
Octavia sighed. "Enlightening."
Vinyl chuckled lightly. Nervously. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Octavia dropped a tea bag into the mug. She was humming to herself, just a little bit. She always hummed the same little tune. Someone symphony or something. Vinyl couldn’t remember its name. “Do you remember when we got together?” Octavia asked.
Vinyl was caught off guard by the question. It was something she hadn’t thought about for a long time. “Sure, I do,” she said. She was kicking her hind legs slightly, dangling them over the tile floor. “Lyra set us up. It was… early October? I think? We went to Donut Joe’s together and got coffee after class. It was nice.”
Octavia was quiet. Just staring into her mug, watching the darkness of the tea leach out from the bag. She reached over and swirled the bag through the warm water, even though she had been scolded for doing so as a filly. Don’t disturb the tea, dear. It makes it bitter.
Vinyl was desperate to fill the silence. “Did I get the time wrong or something?”
“My parents got a divorce,” Octavia said, with an odd little high note at the end.
It hit Vinyl like a punch in the chest. “Oh, shit, Tavi. I had no idea. I’m so sorry, I--”
“No, no. It’s been a long time coming,” Octavia said. “I think the only reason they stayed together so long was because of me. Separating would have been messy. And hard on me.”
Vinyl chewed on her lip, but didn’t say anything.
“It’s not that they… that they hate each other,” Octavia continued. Even shaken like this, her voice was so soothing and smooth. “It’s just that the thing holding them together--which was me, I suppose--was so flimsy… they like each other plenty. They might even be friends. But they’re not in love.”
Vinyl blinked. “I… okay?” She shrugged. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”
Octavia turned to look at Vinyl. “You know, they’re still living together? They say they’re so used to it that there’s no point in moving out. I don’t even think they’re seeing other ponies. They’re just… not married anymore. What difference does it even make?”
Vinyl opened her mouth to respond, but closed it quickly. She wasn’t looking at Octavia, just down at the floor.
“You know what my mother said?” Octavia said, turning back to look at Vinyl. “She said she doesn’t think they’ve ever been in love. My father got her pregnant and they made a decision to become parents, but that was the only thing holding them together. That’s it. Once I was gone, they were through.”
Octavia was fighting through tears, but in such a way that only Vinyl could tell. Had anypony else been in the room, they may have guessed that Octavia was rather apathetic about the whole. Merely relaying facts she thought were important.
“That’s a nice way to find out you were an accident, don’t you think?” Octavia spat. Not at Vinyl. Just in general.
Vinyl looked up at her. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Octavia said harshly, turning back to her tea. “They don’t seem upset by the whole affair one bit. In fact, my father said he feels like a weight has been lifted. Isn’t that lovely?”
Octavia threw her tea bag into the open trash can in the corner. The way she did it suggested she did not find the whole thing ‘lovely’ at all.
“Tavi, I--”
“That’s what’s happened to us, isn’t it?” Octavia interrupted.
In a way, it was like the clouds parted. The darkness that had been hanging over the household for many months, now, was finally clearing… but the sun’s harsh light was somehow worse than the concealing darkness.
Vinyl looked at Octavia.
“Because, I’ll be honest, I don’t think I would be all that sad if we were to just give up,” Octavia said. “And that thought breaks my heart more than anything. That the time and the work we put into this has just been a waste.”
“It hasn’t been a waste.” Vinyl swallowed. “I… I could work harder.”
“Should it be work?” Octavia asked. “Should we have to work, Vinyl? I don’t see the point of a relationship if it’s just more stress and pressure. Aren’t we supposed to lift each other up?”
“I thought we did,” Vinyl said.
Octavia sighed. “Maybe. Once.” She paused. “It’s not… that I’m not willing to work.”
Vinyl nodded.
“But, I have to be honest, I can’t see you doing the same.”
Vinyl blinked. “You don’t?” It was hard not to be a bit offended.
Octavia shook her head. “And it’s not that I think you’re a bad pony. It’s just that… I think you can see the end of this relationship more clearly than I can. It’s like we’re lost, and you know that we’re lost for good, but I’m still looking at a map trying to save us. And you know we can’t be saved… but you’re letting me believe it anyway. I don’t know if that’s kind or cruel.”
Vinyl was quiet for a long time. Octavia quietly stirred milk and sugar into her tea.
“I think…” Vinyl murmured. She stopped there, cleared her throat, and tried again. “I honestly don’t know why we got together in the first place.” She laughed breathlessly, in disbelief.
Octavia nodded. She leaned back against the counter and held her tea under her nose.
“I remember Lyra getting us to go out on that first date. I remember… thinking you were cute, and smart, and refined.” Vinyl looked up at Octavia. She was smiling a little bit. “I remember thinking that there was no reason not to keep seeing you, because you were cool. And I liked spending time with you.”
Octavia nodded. “But?”
“But…” Vinyl paused and stared at the floor. “I dunno. Maybe I just liked the idea of dating somepony so much that I… y’know.” She couldn’t quite say it. But it was there.
Octavia sipped her tea.
The kitchen was silent for a long time while the two reminisced. Privately. Remembering the early dates, the sweet nothings, the strange and pervasive awkwardness of it all. How it had never really been easy, maybe. How it had been an endless trade of performative gifts and dates. Like an obligation.
“What did your mom say?” Vinyl asked.
“Hm?”
“I’m sure you talked to her about us,” Vinyl said. “She must have given you some advice. What did she say?”
Octavia sighed. “She said that there’s no reason to end it. The living arrangement, that is. That if we’ve really just fallen out of-- of-- well. Of whatever we had. That you should be allowed to stay.”
“Oh.” Vinyl ran her tongue over her teeth.”Well, if--”
“But I disagree,” Octavia said.
“You--” Vinyl nearly choked on her words. “You what?”
“I disagree,” Octavia repeated. “We’re not some old married couple. We barely have a life together. I don’t think there’s anything that’s really… ours. Not the house. Not much of anything in it. So… what's the point of sharing our lives if we don’t share anything in them?”
Vinyl was starting to feel the tears climb up her throat. “But-- w-we--”
“Vinyl.” Octavia was smiling a little. A sad smile. A pitying smile. An impossible smile. “Do you have someplace you could sleep tonight?”
“I--” Vinyl swallowed hard. Just answer the question. It’s a simple one. “Yeah. Lyra and BonBon live in town, I can crash on their couch.”
“You can stay the night, if--”
“No. It’s okay.”
Octavia nodded.
“Is… is that it?” Vinyl asked.
Octavia shrugged. “Do you disagree?” She set her empty mug down on the counter. “You’ve been pulling away more and more as time’s gone on. Do we share anything that you feel the need to preserve?”
“I--” Vinyl’s thoughts were all jumbled, lumped together at the front of her head. “I just-- is that really it? We’ve been together for four years, Tavi.”
Octavia closed her eyes and seemed to steady herself. “If you would prefer a knock-down, drag-out fight, we can have one. But I just don’t think there’s anything to fight over.”
“You’re not angry?” Vinyl asked.
Octavia scoffed. “Of course I’m angry. I’m furious. You should have heard the things I yelled when my parents told me they were…” She grit her teeth and shook her head at the memory. “But what am I supposed to do? You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re just not the mare I’m meant to be with.”
Vinyl nodded. “Right…”
“Are you angry?”
“No!” Vinyl blurted. “Well, yes, but-- no, I’m not, I’m just-- I dunno!”
“I don’t know, either,” Octavia said.
“Well, can’t you at least pretend to be upset?” Vinyl spat. “I mean-- this is four years of our lives. You’re not going to miss it? Not even a little?”
“Do you think I’m acting like this because I just don’t care?” Her voice was rising. “Of course I care! I care what happens to you, I care about our time together!”
“Then show it!” Vinyl exclaimed. “I mean-- come on!”
“No, you come on! I’m doing this for your sake!” Octavia stood up very suddenly. “Why do you think I went home in the first place?”
“What, so you decided to break up with me alone, then got over it before you even told me?”
“I’m not over it!” Octavia shouted.
A silence fell in the kitchen.
Vinyl was frozen as Octavia stared at her, her lower lip trembling, her eyes welling up with tears.
“Tavi, I--”
“How could I be over it, Vinyl?” she said. “How?”
Without thinking, Vinyl rushed in to embrace her marefriend. Well… her ex-marefriend. The two of them held each other for a while, crying almost silently as Celestia raised the sun.
“I’m sorry, Tavi,” Vinyl whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Octavia did not respond.
It is a strange feeling, to be comforted by the one who made you cry in the first place. You want it to feel good. You want the crying to make you feel better, like it always does. You want everything to be fixed. But there’s something about their embrace that just makes the pit in your stomach grow.
Octavia broke out of Vinyl’s embrace. “You should go.”
Vinyl nodded. She sniffled, and wiped away a stray tear. “Are you gonna be okay?”
“I’m going to Canterlot in a few hours. Fleur said she’d let me stay with her for a while.”
“That’s good.”
“Mm-hm.”
Vinyl stood a little longer in the kitchen. She did not look at Octavia. Octavia did not look at her.
“Alright,” she said at last. “Goodbye, Octavia.”
“Goodbye, Vinyl.”
Vinyl walked through the house and back towards the front door. The early morning light had painted the whole front room in a new palette. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the line splitting the room in two.
The line had always been there.