There was nothing in all Equestria that could express how fantastic this experience was. For the Mane Six, Spike, and Cheese Sandwich, this one room in Willy Wonka’s amazing factory was filled to the brim with all the candy one could possibly imagine. They explored every square inch of this room, partaking in all the amazing candy wonders it held. From the lollipop trees, the candy pumpkins, and the mint grass, every single morsel in the entire room was delicious.
Twilight, with Spike on her back, strolled through the Chocolate Room admiring its beauty. She had her fill of sweets, whereas for Spike… It did not take much to know he had too much. There he laid, sprawled along Twilight’s back, clutching his bulging belly and bits of candy stuck to his face. He gave a tiny belch, groaning in the process.
“I think I bit off a little more than I can chew,” He said, slurred.
“’A little’?” Twilight spoke, shaking her head. “I told you to take it slow and steady.”
“I couldn’t help myself,” Spike responded. “It was just so good!”
Spike’s tiny head flopped back, as he drifted off into a miniature candy coma. Twilight giggled at the little dragon, as she walked through the Chocolate Room. As she approached the river, she could not help but admire the beauty of it all. She leaned down for a good hard look, giving a good sniff. The aroma of chocolate wafted through her nostrils, as she pulled her head back smiling blissfully.
“Mr. Wonka is an absolute genius to create such an amazing place,” Twilight remarked.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps close behind her and turned her head. Stepping close behind is Mrs. Gloop, the large woman looms over the lavender alicorn princess.
“Look at you, running a-mock in a chocolate factory,” Mrs. Gloop scoffed, grimacing. “Back in Duselheim, we’d cook you up and eat you with a side of Schnitzel.”
The woman’s attitude towards Twilight angered her. She had done absolutely nothing to deserve that kind of talk; nonetheless, she held her tongue as she walked away with a glare.
“Rude…” Twilight muttered.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Gloop looked down toward the river grimacing as the rest of the group came by.
“What a disgusting, dirty river,” Mrs. Gloop sneered.
Mr. Salt nodded in agreement.
“It’s industrial waste that,” He remarked, turning to Wonka. “You’ve ruined your watershed, Wonka. It’s polluted.”
“It’s chocolate,” Mr. Wonka responded.
Hearing him say this, the children and group of ponies wandered toward the edge of the river for a closer look.
“That’s chocolate?!” Veruca asked, disgusted.
“That’s chocolate,” Charlie said, amazed.
“A chocolate river!” Violet said, bewildered.
Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich stared with wide eyes and enormous smiles.
“Ohmygoshisthatriverreallymadeofchocolatebecauseifitisthatissounbelieveablyamazknglyfantastically...”
Pinkie’s rapid rambling was cut off by a cyan blue hoof, placed directly over her muzzle. Rainbow Dash, rubbing her aching temple with one hoof, held Pinkie’s mouth with the other.
“Pinkie Pie, I think you’ve had too much candy since we’ve been here,” Rainbow groaned.
Pinkie tried continuing her excessive rambling behind Rainbow’s hoof, only for a bunch of muffled nonsense to emerge. Cheese gave Pinkie a soft pat on the back.
“Didn’t even know Pinkie could stuff so much candy at once,” He remarked, proudly. “Guess this ole boy’s got work cut out for me.”
“I must confess Mr. Wonka; this is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen!” Rarity complimented.
“Every drop of the river, ten thousand gallons an hour, is hot, melted chocolate of the finest quality,” Mr. Wonka stated proudly. “And look at my waterfall; that’s the most important feature. Its mixing my chocolate, its actually churning my chocolate, makes it light and frothy. You know no other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall.”
Mr. Wonka kneels beside Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie Pie, who lean over to hear what he has to say.
“But it’s the only way if you want it just right,” He whispered to them.
Both of their eyes widened, in further amazement and joy. This was definitely something they swore to remember in the future. Having a chocolate river mixed and churned by a waterfall in Equestria would make for the greatest feature for every pony. Soon enough, their thoughts were interrupted when Charlie noticed something across the river.
“Grandpa, look over there across the river!”
Every pony peered across the chocolate river, as a group of small men emerged carrying giant sacks of sugar. The oddest part was just how these little men appeared: With their orange faces and bright green hair. Everyone was amazed, having never seen anything like this before.
“What is it?” Veruca asked.
“Why their little men!” Fluttershy smiled.
“Jumping crocodiles!” Grandpa Joe gasped.
“Well, now we know who makes the chocolate!” Rainbow deduced.
“I never saw anybody with an orange face before,” Mr. Salt said, dumbfounded.
“What are they doing there?” Mrs. Teevee asked.
“It must be creaming and sugaring time,” Mr. Wonka answered.
“Well, they can’t be real people,” Violet said.
“Of course, they’re real people,” Mr. Wonka responded.
“Stuff and nonsense,” Mr. Salt scoffed.
“No, Oompa-Loompas.”
The entire group turned on their heels, staring at Mr. Wonka with upmost confusion.
“Oompa-Loompas?” They all asked, in unison.
“Imported, direct from Loompaland,” Mr. Wonka smiled, nodding.
“Loompaland?” Mrs. Teevee questioned. “There’s no such place!”
This caused every pony, and Spike, having just awoke from his coma, to stare at the woman with narrowed eyes.
“Well, what do you make of us and our home world of Equestria?” Twilight challenge.
“Oh please,” Mrs. Teevee smirked, looking at Twilight. “You’re probably just a bunch of animatronics Mr. Wonka made up to draw more people. It’s all one huge publicity stunt, honestly!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes twitched, as she prepared to charge.
“Why you…”
Just as she made to charge, Mr. Wonka’s cane slapped the ground in front of her. She looks up toward the man, who shook his head slowly, as if to say, ‘Not worth it’. Rainbow took a moment to breathe, before stepping back toward her friends. Mr. Wonka looked back towards Mrs. Teevee.
“Excuse me, my dear lady…”
“Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of high-school geography,” Mrs. Teevee smirked, smugly. “And I’m here to tell you—”
“Oh well, then you’ll know all about it, and, oh, what a terrible country it is,” Mr. Wonka interrupts, explaining. “The whole place is nothing but either thick jungles or desolate wastes, infested by the most dangerous beasts in the entire world. Hornswogglers and snozzwangers and those terrible, wicked whangdoodles. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobblged up right away. A Whangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it.”
Fluttershy gasped loudly, covering her muzzle with her hooves.
“Oh, the poor little dears,” She whimpered.
“Indeed,” Mr. Wonka nodded. “It’s so dangerous, you’ll never find it on ‘any’ map.”
“Then why the hay would ya go to such a place if it’s so dangerous?” Applejack asked.
“Because years ago, I myself went to Loompaland searching for exotic new flavors for candy,” Mr. Wonka answered. “Instead… I found the Oompa-Loompas; actually, they found me.”
This drew everyone’s interest, including some of the kids as they stood beside the ponies and Spike.
“The Oompa-Loompas lived in treehouses to escape from the fierce creatures who lived below,” Mr. Wonka continued. “They ate nothing but green caterpillars, which tasted revolting.”
“Green… Caterpillars…” Spike gulped, eyes widening.
“Mm-hmm. The Oompa-Loompas looked for other things to mash up with the caterpillars to make them taste better: Red beetles, the bark of the bong-bong tree. All of them beastly, but not quite so beastly as the caterpillars.”
Now Spike had eaten worms before that one time when he ate those ‘baked bads’ Applejack and Pinkie Pie put together years ago. But his stomach rumbled from all the candy he ate, and he felt he was going to throw up, as he desperately covered his mouth with his claws. Mr. Wonka paused quickly, taking a tiny pipe whistle from his coat pocket, and blew a quick tune. An Oompa-Loompa emerged with an empty sack, silently handing it to Spike before resuming his work
“Thanks pal,” Spike muttered.
Then with one big heave, Spike chucked the contents into the bag as everyone else looked away. Even the parents could barely keep a straight face, as Spike literally lost everything he ate. He peers his eyes briefly while he kept the bag over his mouth.
“Please proceed…” Spike wheezed.
“… But the food they longed for the most was the cocoa bean,” Mr. Wonka concluded.
“Cocoa Bean?” Twilight asked.
“It’s those tiny beans from which chocolate is made of,” Pinkie Pie replied. “Been taught that since I was an itty-bitty, twinkie-pinkie! They are sooooooo good!”
“They sure are, my dear,” Mr. Wonka nodded. “An Oompa-Loompa was lucky if he found three or four cocoa beans a year. But, oh, how they craved them. All they would ever think about was cocoa beans. So, I told the chief that day, ‘Come and live with me in peace, where you can have all the cocoa beans you want. Away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers, and Snozzwangers, and rotten Vermicious Knids!”
“Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids?” Mr. Salt scoffed, in disbelief. “What kind of rubbish is that?”
“I’m sorry but all questions must be submitted in writing,” Mr. Wonka said, seriously.
Rainbow Dash tried to stifle a laugh at Mr. Wonka’s comeback, while Twilight gave her a light elbow to the ribs to keep her quiet.
“My, that’s certainly a very ‘interesting’ story to say the least, Mr. Wonka,” Rarity said.
“Indeed, it is, my dear,” Mr. Wonka replied. “And so, in the greatest of secrecy, I transported the entire population of Oompa-Loompas to my factory. They are such wonderful workers. I feel I must warn you, though, they are rather mischievous. Always making jokes.”
“Hey daddy, I want an Oompa-Loompa!” Veruca told her father. “I want you to get me an Oompa-Loompa right away!”
“Alright Veruca, alright. I’ll get you one before the day’s out.”
“I want an Oompa-Loompa now!” Veruca whined.
“Can it, you nit!” Violet snapped at Veruca.
“Yeah, I agree with gumball here,” Spike added, peering up. “How’s about spending one day without whining or complaining? You’d be doing us a favor.”
Veruca shot them both an angry glare before taking a bite out of a taffy leaf.
“Mmm… This stuff is terrific!”
Everyone turns toward the source of the voice, noticing Augustus drinking from the chocolate river with his bare hands.
“Grandpa, look at Augustus!” Charlie pointed out.
“Don’t worry, he can’t drink it all,” Grandpa Joe assured.
Rarity wrinkled her nose in disgust, seeing such terrible manners. Not to mention such a vulgar display as he gulped the chocolate without a care in the world.
“Oh my, how revolting!” She complained.
“Augustus, sweetheart, save some room for later,” Mrs. Gloop said.
Mr. Wonka, on the other hand, seemed rather distressed and frantic, trying to get around the group.
“Oh, uh, Augustus, please, don’t do that!” Mr. Wonka said, frantically. “My chocolate must never be touched by human hands.”
Augustus, however, completely ignored Mr. Wonka, as he proceeds to use both hands to scoop up the chocolate.
“Plea—Don’t do that! Don’t do that; you’re contaminating my entire river! Please, I beg you, Augustus!”
Unfortunately, Augustus leaned a slight too far over the edge and fell straight into the river. Mrs. Gloop and the others screamed seeing the poor boy fall in.
“Man overboard!” Mike said.
“My chocolate!” Mr. Wonka yelled.
Augustus popped out of the river, desperately trying to swim his way to the edge but with little success.
“Help!” He cried.
“My chocolate!” Mr. Wonka cried, in despair. “My beautiful chocolate!”
The ponies and little baby dragon looked toward the man, as though he were crazy.
“A boy just fell into that there river and may very well be in danger and all ya’ll care about is the chocolate?” Applejack asked, in disbelief.
“Help!” Augustus cried again.
“Don’t just stand there; do something!” Mrs. Gloop begged.
Wonka just looked off into space, as though he didn’t care much for the situation.
“Help. Police. Murder.”
The ponies, tired of standing around and doing nothing, decided to spring into action and help the young boy.
“Rainbow, you and Fluttershy see if you can pull Augustus out!” Twilight commanded.
“On it chief!” Rainbow salutes.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew over the chocolate river, slowly hovering until they were just above Augustus, who looks up in amazement.
“Grab on, kid!” Rainbow yelled.
Augustus reached out, grabbing the two ponies by their hind legs. Rainbow and Fluttershy flap their wings frantically, trying to pull Augustus out of the river. It was all in vain, however, as they found themselves unable to move at all.
“I-I-It’s not working, Rainbow!” Fluttershy gasped, exhausted.
“No wonder we’re not moving,” Rainbow remarked, looking down. “He’s too fat!”
“Come on back, ya’ll!” Applejack called out. “Ah got an idea!”
“Don’t move, Gus!” Rainbow yelled. “She’s got a plan!”
“Where am I gonna go?!” Augustus yelled, struggling.
The two Pegasi flew back toward their friends, as Applejack pulls out her lasso twirling it in her teeth. She throws the rope and Augustus reaches out to grab it. Every pony got behind Applejack, grabbing each other’s tails one by one.
“Alright ya’ll, now pull!”
With all their might, the ponies, and even Spike, pulled the rope. But for some reason, they made no progress. It was though either some invisible force kept Augustus in place, or the chocolate was holding him down like wet cement. Either way, no matter how hard they pulled, they couldn’t get the boy out.
“This ain’t working!” Rainbow finally said.
Augustus lost his grip on the lasso, as Applejack reeled it back. Every pony collapsed from exhaustion, as Grandpa Joe hands Charlie a giant lollipop.
“Quick, Charlie, here!”
Charlie held out the lollipop over Augustus.
“Quick, Augustus, grab this!”
Augustus tried to grab the huge lollipop, but he sinks below the surface of the river. Everyone looked on, worried and in panic.
“What—What’s happening to him?” Mrs. Teevee asked, worried.
“It looks like he’s drowning,” Mr. Salt answered, noting the bubbles.
“Dive in!” Mrs. Gloop frantically cried, to Mr. Wonka. “Save him!”
“Oh, it’s too late,” Mr. Wonka said.
“Too late?”
“Oh, he’s had it now; the suction’s got him.”
“What suction?” Twilight asked.
“Augustus, come back!” Mrs. Gloop shouted. “Where is he?”
“Watch the pipe,” Mr. Wonka pointed.
Sure enough, they helplessly watched as the bubbles were drawing back toward a nearby pipe in the Chocolate River, which appeared to be sucking in the chocolate.
“How long is he going to stay down, Daddy?” Veruca asked.
“He can’t swim!” Mrs. Gloop wailed.
“There’s no better time to learn,” Mr. Wonka replied.
“There’s his coat going up the pipe!” Mike pointed.
“Call a plumber!” Mr. Beauregarde remarked.
“Call the fire brigade!” Cheese Sandwich added.
They watched as Augustus slowly rose up the pipe, all that could be seen was his clothes getting pushed by gallons of chocolate below.
“It’s a wonder how that pipe is big enough,” Rarity observed.
“It isn’t big enough,” Charlie spoke. “He’s slowing down.”
“He’s stuck in the pipe there, isn’t he, Wonka?” Mr. Salt asked. “It’s his stomach that’s done that.”
“No kidding!” Rainbow Dash muttered.
Sure enough, Augustus Gloop found himself stuck in the middle of the pipe struggling to move. His face and hair were smudged with the chocolate as he cried out for aid.
“Heeelllp!” Augustus screamed. “Heeelllp!”
“He’s blocking all the chocolate!” Violet cried out.
“Well, what happens now?” Grandpa Joe asked.
“Oh, the pressure’ll get him out,” Mr. Wonka explained. “Terrific pressure is building up behind the blockage.”
“I wonder how long it’s gonna take him to push through,” Fluttershy wondered, worried.
“The suspense is terrible,” Mr. Wonka replied, eating a piece of chocolate. “I hope it’ll last.”
“He’s, he’s gonna go up this time,” Mr. Salt observed. “He—he—Go on, boy, go on!”
“This is terrible!” Mrs. Gloop wailed.
“He’ll never get out!” Charlie spoke.
“Yes, he will, Charlie,” Grandpa Joe assured, pointing. “Watch. Remember you once aske dme how a bullet comes out of a gun?”
Sure enough, all that built up pressure pushes Augustus Gloop quickly up the pipe as the suction resumes it’s natural pace. But when they tried looking up, the boy was gone, lost within the pipes.
“He’s gone!” Mrs. Gloop cried. “He’ll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!”
“Impossible, my dear lady, that’s absurd!” Mr. Wonka argued. “Unthinkable!”
“Why?”
“Because that pipe doesn’t go to the marshmallow room; it goes to the fudge room.”
“THE FUDGE ROOM?!” The ponies and Spike cried.
“Yep,” Mr. Wonka replied. “It just so happens to lead directly to the room where I make delicious strawberry-flavored, chocolate-coated fudge.”
“Then he will be made into strawberry-flavored, chocolate-coated fudge?” Pinkie asked.
“And selling him by the pound all over the world?” Cheese added.
“Oh no, no, no, no, no,” Mr. Wonka shook his head. “I wouldn’t allow it; the taste would be terrible. Could you imagine Augustus-flavored, chocolate-coated Gloop?”
Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich thought for a moment, an image of the little German Boy coated in hot chocolate. The very image of it made them quiver.
“Yeah… I don’t think any pony would buy it,” Pinkie shuddered. “Not even if it had marshmallows… Or sprinkles… Or chimi-cherry sauce.”
“You terrible pony!” Mrs. Gloop glared.
“HEY, WATCH IT LADY!!!” Rainbow shouts, to Gloop’s face. “THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND AND SHE IS AWESOME!”
“Aw… Dashie!” Pinkie sighed.
While all this was going on, Mr. Wonka takes out his pipe whistle and once more plays a short tune as another Oompa-Loompa comes closer.
“I want you to take Mrs. Gloop straight to the Fudge Room, okay?” Mr. Wonka instructs. “Help her find her son. Take a long stick and start poking around in the big chocolate-mixing barrel but look sharp! Or her little boy is liable to get poured into the boiler.”
“The boiler?!” Twilight and Spike shout.
“You’ve boiled him up, I know it!” Mrs. Gloop accused.
“Nihil desperandum [Nothing to despair], dear lady,” Mr. Wonka assured. “Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop. Adieu! Auf wiedersehen! Gesundheit. Farewell.”
Reluctantly, Mrs. Gloop followed the Oompa-Loompa as he led her toward the Fudge Room where she hopes to recover her lost boy. Just then, another tune draws the group toward the opposite side of the river where the rest of the Oompa-Loompas were still working. As if that wasn’t enough, they start singing an odd tune.
https://m.By the end of the song, the Oompa-Loompas made their way through a small door cut into the side of a stone wall and sealed it tightly as they left. Everyone in the group, especially Twilight, were baffled by what they just witnessed.
“What the hay just happened?” Twilight asked.
“I have no idea,” Pinkie shook her head. “Personally, I liked the jazzier version better.”
Every pony and Spike turned toward Pinkie Pie, Twilight raising an eyebrow at the random remark.
“Really?”