//------------------------------//
// ==> Coincide. 
// Story: Horsetangled: Act 0 
// by dawnbreez 
//------------------------------//

Twilight had many questions. She had so many questions, in fact, that most of them tried to escape her mouth at the same time, which led only to nonsense and despair. The rest of her questions tried her horn, which had long since learned not to let random words try to escape through it.

"What the buck."

That was the last question on her mind, and therefore the only one that actually succeeded in leaving her mouth. With an audible WHUMP another piece of factory machinery dropped into place, inside the grand hall from the sound of it. A smaller thud suggested that a third had landed in her bathroom, which she did not appreciate. Moments later, another message appeared from Celestia:




no seriously get out of the room i'm gonna drop your bathtub on this thing




Twilight typed about five letters of her reply before she saw the shadow of her bathtub looming over the room. She promptly dove out of the way, grabbing Spike as an afterthought.

KLONG-G-G

The bathtub--a cast-iron affair that Twilight was rather fond of--bounced off of the massive chunk of machinery, knocking the cap of the thing clean off. Both tub and cap landed among the books, relatively unscathed, as a purple hunk of crystalline plastic and a flashing purple orb flew out of the machine.

"GHOST!" Twilight yelled, very rationally. "SPIKE! DO SOMETHING!"

She hurled Spike at the orb, and there was a brief flash.





Celestia could not believe her sun-blessed eyes. The mare who had shown the most promise in the Canterlot Academy of Magic's history...The one little filly who had the magical potential to actually become an Alicorn post-factum...The wielder of the most powerful magical artifacts known to Equinekind...had just panicked and tossed her pet dragon at the Kernelsprite.

One of these days Twi was gonna give her a heart attack, and she was starting to think it would be within the next year. She opened up a message, as she watched Twilght have a minor nervous breakdown.




twily

starbutt

you fuckin dingus

could you wait two seconds before doing things please







I'm sorry! I panicked! What happened to Spike!? Is he a ghost now!? DID I JUST KILL MY DRAGON!?




Spike, meanwhile, was adjusting to having no legs. And also adjusting to the massive pile of knowledge that was just dumped into his head.




amazingly, no

you did not kill your dragon

unfortunately, you were supposed to use something that's already dead

so i have no idea what's gonna happen now




And now Twilight's looking even more confused. This is supposed to be our fearless leader? Celestia groans and gets ready to teleport back to the resort, before realizing that she can't do that without endangering Luna's status as a player. Fuck. She settles for the nearest bar instead. At least she'll still get her tequila sunrise before the end of the fucking world.








WE HAVE ARRANGED THE CONNECTIONS AS YOU SUGGESTED. DO WE REQUIRE ANY OTHER MEASURES?







nope~ you just need to wait for twilight to be ready~ i'll send her server disk over just before she enters~




Luna turned away from her computer, which already had Cadance's castle prominently displayed on it; she had already begun placing the necessary game objects, with a practiced hoof. Flurry's crib had been enough to pop the Cruxtruder open, and Luna was sure Cadance knew exactly what to do next--

Her attention was drawn by the sudden squeak of a small filly. Luna turned to the screen to see that Cadance was about to toss Flurry Heart directly into the Kernelsprite.

Moments later, the bright pink sprite now had the adorable bouncing baby face of the world's first natural-born alicorn. Shining Armor looked confused, but perfectly accepting of this new development. Luna urgently needed to rectify this.




CADANCE. WHEREFORE THE FUCKETH ARE YOU USING YOUR ONLY FOAL AS YOUR PROTOTYPE.

THIS IS MOST IMPROPER. YOUR DECISIONS HERE IMPACT THE ENTIRE SESSION. YOU DO REALIZE THIS MEANS YOU WILL BE FIGHTING IMPISH CLONES OF FLURRY FOR THE REST OF THE SESSION? THAT YOU WILL FOREVER BE HAUNTED BY THE FACE OF YOUR ONLY CHILD AS YOU BATTLE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE INCIPISPHERE?






it'll be okay~ at least i'll always have flurrysprite with me now~

sprites can't die after all~




Luna rolled her eyes and groaned. Beknighted, thrice-damned noobs.




THOU DOST REALIZE THAT THE SPRITE WILL LEAVE THEE SHORTLY AFTER THY FIRST GATE IS SURMOUNTED.







fuck~








In the meantime, with Celestia's guidance, Twilight had already begun the alchemization process, and her entry point was within reach: an apple, growing from a brilliant purple miniature rendition of her old library.

"Well, that was easy--" She glanced upward.

There was a bucking meteor not even five hundred feet above the castle.

"OH."

She leapt for the apple, wide-eyed--the sun was blotted out--a disc appeared, falling neatly through the branch that held the apple--it fell into her hooves--she took a bite--and the entire castle was replaced with a crater, moments before the meteor hit.





Celestia nodded confidently, ignoring the angry bartender, and began her own preparations--blinking back into the castle armory to snatch up her Lance of Long Knights, and returning by teleport to the bar moments before the bartender noticed that she was gone. She casually grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, took her sunrise from his hoof, and yeeted him out the door (a little millenial humor for him).

Then, she turned to the things which the bartender was complaining about--namely, the cruxtruder, totem lathe, punch designix, and the all-important alchemiter. Oh, and a sentient bottle of Applejack Daniels, created when her kernelsprite collided with a non-sentient bottle immediately after being released.

Oh, and then there was the bright yellow egg she had just found. She tried to break it, finding it nearly impervious. With the meteor looming overhead, she screamed in frustration, setting her mane and tail ablaze--and in this heat, the egg began to crack...





Cadance had everything under control. Twilight had her server disk disc, and Celly had just kicked off her entry. Now all she had to do was hope the Crystal Empire didn't explode the moment she teleported the Crystal Heart away from it.

It would have been nice to move the heart--or move her family--before things got to this point. But what she truly wanted was to be here, in her home, when the whole thing went off. And even if her plan to keep her baby safe had fallen through, she'd make things work. Slowly, she raised the bottle in one hoof, and smashed it against the table, frowning slightly as she stole her kingdom's heart.





Luna nodded. Cadance's entry had gone off without a hitch. She turned to her bedroom, blushing softly at the mess she had made as she was lounging about. Hopefully Twilight would not discover her shamefully decorated body-length pillow.

...come to think of it...where was Twilight? She should have activated the server disc by now...





Twilight paced back and forth on the balcony, breathing heavily. The entire landscape was made of college-ruled notebook paper--she could see the divots where the holes met each other. Stacks of cards could be seen on the horizon, and everything seemed to be crawling with tiny marbled imp-like things. The more pressing concern on her mind, though, was that meteor. She tapped out a quick message to Celestia.




Celestia,

What in the Sun's good graces was with that meteor!? Why are there meteors!? Was that the only one? Please tell me the meteors are only going to hit us.

-- Twilight.



The reply came back almost immediately, as if Celestia was anticipating this question.




no twilight

there are hundreds of meteors

they are going to destroy all life on equus

nothing will survive except us four

i'm pretty sure candyass decided to take your brother and niece along, but they're fuckin dead too, they just don't know it yet

everyone you know and love is dead, and--i hate to be a dick about it, but it's our fault

were doing this

were making this happen



Twilight started to hyperventilate. The world began spinning around her. Every ounce of her body seemed to quiver like clover jello. She could feel her mind breaking down as it tried to wrap itself around the words Celestia had typed. Nothing could have prepared her for this--no spell or incantation, no mild-mannered misadventure or well-fought battle could train her for it.

She reached out to the keyboard and typed her reply--a mere seven characters:




*We're.






END OF ACT 0