//------------------------------// // Pony Joes // Story: Friendship is G.I. // by KnightMysterio //------------------------------// Friendship is G.I. Chapter 5: Pony Joes by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ G.I. Joe base... Three days later… Armory... /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Eleven soldiers gathered up supplies and weapons as they prepared to head to an alternate reality. They were all in varying moods. Some were excited, glad for the opportunity to go see a new world and all that entailed. Some were stoic, interested but seeing it simply as another job to accomplish. A very interesting job, true, but still, a job. One of them, Private Conner, was simply in awe of the fact that he was getting to work with the big names of the team. “You doin’ okay, Private Conner?” Duke asked, the handsome blonde field leader smiling warmly. “Just a little overwhelmed, sir,” the greenshirt said, adjusting his uniform. “I just joined a few weeks ago, and now I’m going into an alien world on a diplomatic visit.” Duke chuckled. “Life’s like that sometimes,” he said. “You just have to take the strange and treat it as normal.” He ruffled the private’s hair, Private Conner relaxing a little. “Right. Take going to colorful horseland and treat it as normal,” Private Conner said. Snake-Eyes started to sign something. Private Conner gave him a helpless look, not understanding sign language. Duke nodded, and translated. “Duke does have a point. In my own life, even before I came across G.I. Joe, I encountered the strange and unusual. And you have to admit, fighting Cobra does require a bit of quirkiness in your life.” “I guess that makes sense. Although I’ve never really encountered any Cobras yet,” Private Conner said. “Give it time, kid,” Mainframe said. “You’ll get snakes up the booty one way or another.” “I actually did get someone with a snake up their rectum one time,” Lifeline said, thinking out loud. Everyone turned to look at the medic. “...I don’t suppose we could ask who?” Rock n’ Roll said, a cheeky grin on his face. “Doctor-patient privilege, Rock,” Lifelife said, quirking an amused eyebrow up from behind his green glasses. “But suffice to say, beer leads to stupid ideas. Such as greenshirts listening to some of our more colorful characters when they’ve had a few.” “THAT makes sense,” Roadblock said. “Ten to one it was Shipwreck or Dusty that made the greenshirt do it,” Rock n’ Roll said. When Lifeline just smirked, both heavy gunners laughed. Off to one side, Spirit and Lady Jaye watched the exchange with amusement. Lady Jaye was checking her spears, while Spirit was putting throwing knives in the holsters in his legs. The tracker had left his eagle, Freedom, in the care of his bunkmates, deciding not to bring him on this trip. “Hopefully this goes well,” Lady Jaye said. “I wish we could do more than just visit for a week, but with the way things are now...” Spirit shook his head. “At this point, I would accept a peaceful encounter with another world. With Cobra’s space program gaining traction, I’m afraid we’ll find ourselves at war with a species that would have otherwise been friendly.” Lady Jaye gave him an amused look. “You seem rather accepting of the fact that we aren’t alone in the universe,” she said. Spirit raised an eyebrow. “I am a spiritual man, I admit. I believe that everything that lives has its own spirit and will,” he said. “I also am a fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Mass Effect.” Lady Jaye grinned. “Aren’t you full of surprises?” she said. “I do not mention my love of sci-fi to many,” Spirit said solemnly, a smirk flickering at the edge of his mouth. “I simply enjoy without subscribing to any fandom, and do not wish to be drawn into debates.” Lady Jaye nodded. “That’s fine,” she said. “But if you ever do want to talk, I’ve played the Mass Effect games myself.” Spirit blinked. “Now THAT is surprising,” he said. “I didn’t take you for one to be into games.” “I appreciate good storytelling,” Lady Jaye said, grinning. “If it’s something like Battlefield or Fortnite, then I’m not into it.” Spirit nodded. “A respectable way of viewing it,” he said. Lady Jaye nodded as well. After a moment, a grin creeped onto her face and she said, “...So who’d you have your Shepards romance?” Spirit smirked. “Male Shepard Tali, female Shepard Garrus,” he said. “You?” Lady Jaye chuckled. “I went for Thane for my female Shepard, Jack for my male,” she said. Spirit shook his head. “I considered Thane. But his story reminded me too much of my grandfather,” he said. “Too depressing.” Lady Jaye frowned. “I’m sorry...” Spirit made a dismissive gesture. “He led a good life and died without regrets despite his lung cancer,” he said. “But I thank you for your concern.” Nearby, Mutt was brushing Junkyard’s fur, looking at Spirit and Lady Jaye in amazement. “Didn’t know those two were into vidya games,” he said. Beach Head grunted. “Everyone’s got somethin’ they like to do in their free time,” he said, the ranger visibly grumpy. Mutt shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “I’m more into animals than vidya games, although I always was curious about Pokemon.” He smirked at Beach Head. “Lemme guess – your hobby is figuring out new ways to make greenshirts have nightmares about you.” Beach Head managed to look amused despite his horrible mood. “That’s my job, staff sergeant,” he said. “If you must know, I enjoy nature walks.” “With the way you smell half the time, you fit right in with nature,” Mutt cracked, knowing what would come next and not caring. Junkyard barked in agreement. “See? Even Junkyard thinks you smell funny.” “I’m sorry, what was that? ‘I want to run laps on an obstacle course fulla ant hills in nothing but my underwear and a thick coating of honey?’ Well, that’s an odd request, Mutt, but I’m pretty sure I can accommodate you,” Beach Head snarled. Mutt was surprised at the viciousness of the statement. “You got somethin’ sticking in your craw, Beach?” Beach Head snorted. “Just… wondering what I did to piss Scarlet off,” he said. “I ain’t the type that fits a diplomatic mission. Put me on a battlefield, I’m cooler than goddamn Ice Cream Soldier. But stick me in a room with a bunch of diplomats… especially ALIEN diplomats… especially HUGGY alien diplomats...” He shook his head. “Scarlet wouldn’t have sent you if she didn’t believe in you,” Mutt said, deciding to be encouraging. Junkyard went over and rubbed up against Beach Head’s legs, smiling a happy doggy smile at him. Beach Head grunted again, patting Junkyard, who barked happily. “I’m still not happy about it,” he muttered. “I just have a weird feeling that something’s gonna go wrong...” Duke called over to him. “It will if you keep having that attitude,” he said. “This is a rare moment, Beach. And we all get the opportunity to be the first humans to set foot on an alien planet. Why not celebrate that?” “It’s not like I can brag it back to the family in Auburn, Duke,” Beach Head said. “This whole thing feels hinky. I don’t like it.” Snake-Eyes signed something to Beach Head, who snorted. “Same to you,” he told the ninja, who just laughed in his silent, huffing way. “Hey, Private Conner?” said a voice. The Private turned, spotting Barbecue leaning out of a hallway. He was wearing his full uniform, helmet and all. “Mind if we chat in private a sec?” Duke looked over to the firefighter. “What’s up?” he asked. “Ehh, the kid’s nervous,” Barbecue said, the Bostonian native’s accent thick. “I figure I’d give him a bit of a pep talk, y’know? It might help if it comes from someone he isn’t heading to an alien world with.” Duke and Lady Jaye traded looks. “I don’t see the harm,” Lady Jaye said. Duke nodded, Private Conner smiling gratefully. Barbecue nodded. “Thanks a mil, Duke. I won’t keep the kid long,” he said. Barbecue and Private Conner walked off, leaving the group for a moment. Duke shook his head. “Poor kid,” he said. “Got thrown into the big time early.” Lady Jaye smiled. “He’ll be fine,” she said. “We’ll look out for him.” Duke nodded, and looked over the group. “Remember, light weapons people,” he said. “We’re being allowed to take enough to defend ourselves, but that’s it.” Beach Head nodded. “Right. So don’t be carrying twenty pounds of hidden weapons,” he said to Snake-Eyes. “Says the man who has five pistols hidden on his person,” Snake-Eyes signed back. Beach Head just snorted, conceding the point. “It is amazing that you can convey snark through sign language,” Rock n’ Roll said, loading his machine gun. “Man’s got some skills, no question,” Roadblock said, loading his own. “But until he can outcook me in the kitchen, he’s still just a scrub.” “You’re just jealous because I’m dating the hottest woman on base,” Snake-Eyes signed. “Incorrect,” Flint said, coming up behind Lady Jaye and pulling her close, kissing the brunette intelligence officer on the cheek. She smiled, turning around to give him a more intimate kiss. Once they broke the kiss, Flint smiled. “Just thought I’d see you off.” “How gentlemanly,” Lady Jaye said, smiling, hands around Flint’s waist, one hand on his ass. Mainframe rolled his eyes. “Get a room, you two,” the technician taunted. “This is a room,” Flint and Lady Jaye said, Mainframe rolling his eyes and laughing. A few moments later, Scarlet and General Hawk both walked into the room, everyone standing up and saluting. Scarlet immediately went to Snake-Eyes, kissing the ninja on the cheek as the two began to talk in sign language. Hawk looked over the rest of the team chosen for this mission. “At ease, everyone,” he said. Once they were relaxed, Hawk looked around. “Private Conner not here?” “Barbecue was walking by, decided to give him a private pep talk,” Duke said. Hawk looked thoughtful. “Hm. Guess Barbecue cut his leave short… Ah well, his prerogative,” he said. As if on cue, though, Private Conner stepped back in. He immediately saluted once he noticed the general, Hawk chuckling. “At ease, soldier.” Private Conner nodded, lowering his hand. He still wasn’t at ease. Duke chuckled, patting him on the shoulder and guiding the scared young soldier to sit down. Hawk smiled. “I don’t think I have to emphasize how important this is,” he said. “You’re all under enough pressure already. But this is a true first contact scenario. We may be warning against coming to our world, but it is still an important day for all mankind, in showing that at least some of us can be trusted. We chose you because we feel you can best represent us and our values to the visitors. I wish you all the best of luck. May you come home safely, and may your mission be completed successfully.” “SIR! YES SIR!” the soldiers chorused. Hawk nodded. “It’s almost time for the portal to open. Let’s move out,” he said. Gathering their equipment and supplies, the soldiers followed General Hawk out. They followed the older man to the motor pool, several others having gathered there to watch. After a few minutes of waiting, the portal swirled to life again, this time tall enough to accommodate a human, although Roadblock, Spirit, and Beach Head would still have to duck a little to get in. Standing on one side of the portal was Twilight Sparkle, the cheerful alicorn standing in a circle of runes with a nearby device off to one side. Rainbow Dash was there as well, as was Rarity. Hawk nodded to her. “Your Highness,” he said, saluting respectfully. “The rest of your party not with you today?” Twilight shook her head. “Applejack has responsibilities at home today, while Sunset has duties in Canterlot to fulfill. Fluttershy runs an animal sanctuary, so her time is limited. Spike and Pinkie Pie are preparing tonight’s reception. And given their difference in party preferences, it’s… a bit of a battle between Pinkie and the royal celebration planners,” she said, giggling. “Tell her I sympathize. I don’t have much patience for pretentious soirees anyway,” Duke said, earning a chuckle from the princess, a smirk of respect from Rainbow Dash, a chorus of laughs and amens from the gathered soldiers, and an annoyed eye roll from Rarity. Hawk smiled. “I have some concerns about communication...” he said. Twilight Sparkle grinned. “Already thought of that,” she said, levitating a large journal with runes inscribed into the cover in it. “This journal will allow for communication between your world and ours. It already has the translation spell we’re using to communicate with each other in it, so our language will translate to yours, and vice-versa. Let us demonstrate.” She nodded to Rarity, who levitated over a similar journal and wrote in it. Hawk’s journal glowed, and he opened it, revealing Rarity’s message in very neat cursive. “I hope you are having a wonderful day, darlings.” “Huh,” Hawk said. “You have very neat writing, Miss Rarity.” “Thank you, General,” Rarity said, batting her eyelashes at him. “I am VERY interested in how that works,” Mainframe said, the technician’s eyes almost shining with excitement. Twilight grinned. “We’ll have plenty of time to show you,” she said, motioning for the soldiers to step through. Duke looked to his unit, and nodded to them. “Let’s move out, Joes.” Gathering up their equipment and holstering their weapons, Beach Head grumbling the whole time, they stepped through the portal. Almost immediately, they were shocked. The colors here were so much brighter! Far more saturated. It felt for many as if they had gone into a painting, or even a brilliantly animated cartoon. Even their own colors were brighter and more saturated. “It’s… amazing...” Duke said, looking around at the bright blue sky and leafy green of the trees. “Beautiful...” Private Conner said, visibly gobsmacked. “In my dreams alone I have seen such beauty...” Spirit said softly. “Oh wow...” Rock n’ Roll said, in awe. Junkyard was barking happily, tail wagging rapidly as he strained against his harness leash, trying to sniff at everything. Mutt grinned. “Well, Junk certainly approves of this place.” Mainframe, meanwhile was looking over the runes and pillars used to set up the portal on this side, wishing desperately that he understood spellcraft better. “I have SO many questions,” he said softly. Lady Jaye smiled. “It’s beautiful...” she said, grinning widely. Snake-Eyes nodded in agreement, the ninja clearly awed by the landscape. “Feels like a Crayola box exploded,” Beach Head muttered, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the brightness. “Are you going to be a grump this entire trip?” Lifeline said. “Yes,” Beach Head said flatly. “You remind me of a friend of ours,” Rarity said. “His name is Cranky, and he’s a donkey.” “You shut up,” Beach Head immediately growled to Rock n’ Roll and Roadblock, who were visibly struggling not to say anything. Rarity giggled. “He’s just as stubbornly grumpy as you are. But he’s also a dear and trustworthy friend.” Beach Head, mollified, relaxed a little. “Thank you, ma’am,” he said. Lifeline shook his head, and looked around, taking in everything. “The air feels so clean...” he said, amazing. “Yeah. We do have industry, but its not as widespread as yours. Plus magic lets us do a lot by working directly with nature,” Rainbow Dash said. “Not as much need for smokestacks and the like.” “...Your masks,” a guard said, looking at Beach Head and Snake-Eyes. “You’ll need to take them off in the presence of Queen Celestia and Queen Luna. Helmets will need to be removed as well, since you are soldiers greeting royalty.” The Joes traded uncomfortable looks. “...I don’t mind takin’ my balaclava off, but Snake has a reason for keeping his on,” Beach Head said. Snake-Eyes looked visibly tense. General Hawk leaned through the portal. “Princess Twilight, I’m asking you to make a concession in this matter,” he said. “Snake-Eyes is a good soldier, but he prefers to be masked at all times when in public.” Princess Twilight frowned. It was against the rules, technically… “I don’t see the harm,” Rarity said. “It completes his ensemble quite nicely.” “Yeah. He’s the freakin’ coolest-looking member of the team, Twi,” Rainbow Dash said, Snake-Eyes’s grin visible beneath his mask. “I think we can let it go.” Twilight thought for a moment, and nodded. “I’ll send message on ahead,” she said. “Don’t worry, Snake-Eyes. You’ll be able to keep it on.” Snake-Eyes bowed gratefully. “Thank you,” he signed, silently relieved. He really didn’t want to show off his utter ruin of a face to these friendly, colorful creatures. General Hawk nodded, stepping back away from the portal. One of the scientist ponies working the portal turned to Twilight. “Your highness, the power-levels,” she said. Twilight nodded. “General? We’re closing the portal now. You’ll be able to keep in contact with everyone through the journal,” she said. “Understood,” he said, turning towards his men and saluting. “Good luck, soldiers. Make me proud. Yo Joe!” “YO JOE!” the soldiers chorused back. The portal sparked, and swirled shut, leaving Joes on the other side alone with the ponies. It was a heady feeling, knowing that they were essentially stuck here until the portal reopened. Private Conner was the most visibly nervous. He looked around at the others, all of them seemingly calm, and in the case of Spirit, almost blissful. “Spirit, sir?” Private Conner asked. “Are you okay?” Spirit blinked, and smiled. “Forgive me. But this place… I feel closer to the natural world then I ever have back home… It’s a wonderful feeling.” Twilight smiled. “You and I must talk later,” she said. “Because what you’ve said just now? Is pretty close to what magic feels like.” “No fair becoming a wizard before the rest of us,” Mainframe teased, the group laughing. Private Conner just smiled weakly. Spirit patted him on the shoulder. “Do not fear, young Private. Everything will be fine,” he said. “I hope so...” Private Conner said. “Come on,” Twilight said. “The chariots taking us to the palace are nearby.” “We aren’t close?” Duke asked. “That makes sense, though,” Mainframe said. “If you’re conducting an experiment with potentially volatile energy, you don’t want it near your headquarters in case it goes kaboom.” Twilight nodded. “Exactly,” she said, she, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity leaving the scientists and guards to their encampment as they led the Joes to a trio of large chariots being pulled by pegasi. Twilight got in one with Duke, Mutt, Junkyard, Spirit, and Private Conner. Rarity got in one with Roadblock, Beach Head, and Lady Jaye. Rainbow Dash floated next to the one that held Snake-Eyes, Rock n’ Roll, Lifeline, and Mainframe. “Ridin’ in style,” Beach Head said. “Not bad, not bad...” “You not riding with us, Rainbow Dash?” Lifeline asked. Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Eeeh. The travel chariots move too slowly through the air for me. I’ll go on ahead and have things set up for you at the palace.” “Wait, through the air?” Beach Head said, looking uneasy. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity huffed. “It’s always rush rush rush with you. Can’t you take the time to just sit back and relax for once?” “No,” Rainbow Dash said, smirking, as she dashed off in a streak of color. Mutt grimaced. “I’d like to address the whole flying thing,” he said. “Not to worry,” Twilight said. “You won’t fall out. Just hold on!” And with that, the chariots took off, the pegasi carrying the soldiers high into the air, leaving several of them holding on tight. It would be an interesting trip to Canterlot, that much was certain… TO BE CONTINUED...