Full disclosure, I was not expecting there to be such a complicated reason for Rainbow Dash being the way he is in this Equestria.
Up to that point I had been expecting for his explanation to be a trolling “because it’s pretty” and nothing more, but now it's clear to me that this was never truly the case. I can understand his past deflections concerning the subject now, for it's not one that can be easily understood without getting to know the stallion behind the lipstick first. The bearer of the Element of Loyalty is not only loyal to others, but also loyal to himself and his feelings. This means not backing down in the face of adversity, especially when it comes to defending the things he loves and the things he loves about himself.
I may not be as into fashion like my husband was, but I still know the power there is in wearing the clothes and accessories that show the world who you are. A shoe here, an earring there; even with my plus size there was always an option available to me if I ever wanted a little boost in my confidence, or to stand contradictory to my peers. There is an art in weaving these expressions together, just as there’s an art in the body movements and social cues associated with being a lady. I’m sure there’s similar options available for all the gentlemen and colts out there in the world, but that's a topic I am ill equipped to discuss. I was never like Rainbow Dash, after all.
I never had the courage to see how the other half lives.
Equestria may be a very progressive society when it comes to sexual orientation, but the population’s understanding of gender identities and roles is about on par with Earth’s own. Stallions wear suits, mares wear dresses. Stallions are gentlcolts, mares are ladies. Stallions like boyish things like getting dirty and fighting, mares like girlish things like cooking and playing dress-up.
There’s certainly some crossover for sure. I believe that a person can’t realistically be a hundred percent male or female without sacrificing compassion or willpower respectively, but there’s a real hypocrisy in which certain aspects of one’s self can be displayed without scrutiny. Female Rainbow Dash was into racing, competition, and she knew pony karate. These are all considered masculine traits, but she was never shown to be considered a lesser mare because of her perceived lack of femininity.
On the other claw, you needn't look much further than our Applejack’s constant heckling of Rainbow Dash’s lifestyle to see that the chromatic pony doesn’t enjoy the same level of acceptance for the opposite; for his perceived lack of masculinity versus femininity. Women like myself may be considered complicated creatures by nature, but men occasionally take the cake when it comes to the strangeness of their actions and the oddness of their views of one another. Neither viewpoint is inherently right or wrong, of course, but it’s nonetheless an interesting subject to meditate on...
... Though what's more interesting is the fact that this subject hasn't deviated all that much from how it was depicted in the original show.
Cartoon Equestria was a mare dominated society, and in my universe it's a stallion leaning one, but the inherently feminine aesthetic of My Little Pony has remained consistent between the dimensional hop. Lighter colors are preferred here, heart imagery is all the rage, and magical phenomenons have been given adorable names like "cutie mark" since time immemorial. You'd think things would be a bit more "manly" around here due to the sex flip, but they're really not. Replacing famous key stallions and mares throughout this planet's history, like Starswirl or Clover, with their mare and stallion counterparts respectively should've had a greater impact on how social norms developed and established themselves within modern society... but it didn't. It didn't change a darn thing at all. It's like each individual's personal biases were completely separated from their historical work.
How is such a thing possible?
How can a world exist where everything is the same in comparison to another, save for the sex in which a person was birthed into? How can it perfectly mirror the other world's citizens when they're all being born from the wrong mother? How is DNA keeping up with such baloney, and how is there still a perfectly straight gender line in which our Rainbow Dash has to ballet dance himself over? Canon Rainbow didn't have to do anything of the sort... or at least she didn't have to do it quite to the same extent as ours does. When it comes to gender conformity, this seems to be the greatest divergent of all on this planet; the fact that it didn't deviate at all! This is a world where a Rainbow Dash had to struggle to be themself, and where a combination of foalhoods and genetics has forever altered the lives of pre-established major characters.
This has led me to now theorize that this dimension isn't the simple sex-swapped realm that I initially thought it to be. If it were, then why is Rainbow Dash's deal such the head turner that it is? Wouldn't his life style be considered just as normal as his mare-half's was? No, I think I can safely say now that there's something else that sets my Equestria apart from canon Equestria. It can't just be my mere presence anymore, there's something older and far more fundamentally different about this dimension that has caused it to wander off from the so called "true" path. Maybe it's even something obvious...
... but let's leave this to be the topic for another, more future entry. They'll be plenty of time to contemplate all the great mysteries of the universe another day. I feel that such questions are worth exploring, but for now I wish to be a tad selfish by returning to the main event. I need want to get back to writing about Rainbow Dash's quest to become a lady.
I suppose I can't do that until I finish the rest of his story, so let's go.
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“... What was the mistake you mentioned?” I inquire after taking a moment to reflect on everything I had just been told. “The one you made as a foal?” This must be the event that made him so different in the first place; what made him into the literate fashionista that he is today.
Rainbow snickers lightly to himself at my probing question.
“Oh? The mistake?” he then coyly asks, pretending to be oblivious to my intentions. “Well, heh, it wasn’t that much of a mistake, actually. It was more of a stupid misunderstanding...
"... Do you know what they say the difference between mare and stallion pegasi is, Barb?”
“Huh?” I ask aloud, unprepared for that question. The difference between mare and stallion pegasi? "What they say… What who says?”
Confusled, I begin to pace back and forth.
“Dusk says that there isn't any concrete scientific differences between the two pegasus types except for maybe wingspan length and the growth of their tails. Taking that into consideration, we must be talking about something else...”
Now it’s Rainbow’s turn to look confused.
"... Oh wow, you really did grow up with Dusk, huh?" he chuckles something under his breath that I fail to catch. “Egghead Jr… Filly,” Dash then says a little louder, catching my attention fully. “I wasn’t talking about any real differences. I was talking about...
"... Well, actually, now that I think about it... maybe that's not a stereotype somedragon from Canterlot would know too much about! Might be more of a Cloudsdale thing.”
“What is?” I prod, now more interested. What’s this about a stereotype?
Grinning largely at me for my lack of knowledge, Rainbow leans in closer to my side and places a cupped wing next to my ear.
He then whispers the answer into it.
"..."
"..."
“... R-really?”
“Yup.”
“Pegasi really think that?”
“Yup.”
“Really… Even the foals?”
“Especially the foals.”
“O-oh… oh my…”
“...”
“...”
“... Why are you turning red?” Rainbow asks neutrally, his brow narrowing suspiciously. “All I said was that pegasi think that mares are faster than stallions.”
I bury my now tomato hued face into my claws.
“I know, Dash, I-I know...”
“...”
“...”
… A light bulb must have turned on somewhere, because Rainbow’s cheeks are now turning just as bright as my own.
“O-oh,” he muses passively before coughing into a hoof. "You thought I meant 'fast' as in...
"... that..."
"I-it's you're own fault for whispering it to me that way!" I shoot back weakly as Dash starts to laugh.
"Well, yeah, but I didn't intend to give you those kinds of thoughts, filly!" he counters easily between breaths. "For a seven year old, you sure have a dirty mind up there.”
“... I-I know,” I whimper as I try to disappear behind my claws.
“Haha, oh don’t sweat it,” Dash reassures kindly, side hugging me with a wing. “I still love ya’, you little perv."
"Please never call me that again."
"No promises," he waves a wing back passively. "Also, just so you know, it’s just an old pony’s tale! Some guys think that mares are more aerodynamic or something, but there’s nothing that really proves that one way or the other…
“... Didn’t know that when I was your age though! All I heard was 'faster'.”
…!
Oh!
That’s it!
Now everything is making more sense to me! Glacially putting the pieces together, I state my new theory and try to gauge the response to see if I’m on the correct track. “So, if I’ve got this right; when you were my age, you thought that in order to fly faster…”
“That I had to become a filly, yes." Rainbow completes the thought for me, proving me right.
Oh good lord...
... that is claws down the most adorable misunderstanding I've heard in my entire life!
"Nopony told me otherwise," he defends himself preemptively, though I have no intention of laughing. "So what was I supposed to think?! The Wonderbolt Captain back then was a mare too, so it just made sense to me in my dumb little head.”
Letting go of the friendly contact, Dash jumps into the room’s air once more and resumes fluttering. “I started wearing bows and makeup to flight camp, and trying to get ponies to treat me like a filly, cause I thought that's all it would take. My parents were super supportive of all that, which was awesome, but they’re super supportive of everything I do... At least they were cool enough to let me change my name to Rainbow Dash from-”
Rainbow shakes his head.
“… W-well, it was nice for a time for sure, and it forced me into giving reading a chance so I could learn more ways to change myself, but then bullies started cropping up!"
As rude as this is to say, I'm not surprised by this turn of events.
Sometimes Equestria disappoints me with just how similar it is to Earth at times
"I could take them on easily, of course," Rainbow flexes, though I doubt he actually used force to dismay them. "I was the fastest pony in school, and the most attractive one too if I do say so myself." Called it. Looks like humility is still a viable lesson this pony needs to learn. "It was way too easy for me to fly laps around the fillies giving me a hard time, and even easier to confuse the hay out of the other colts by blowing a kiss here, or by shaking my tail there.
"Flirting can be a powerful tool when you use it right, Barb!"
And water is wet.
More news at 11.
"Don't tell Dusk I taught you that...
"... It stinks that my tricks didn't work forever though," Dash then, out of the blue, laments sorrowfully; catching me yet again by surprise. His ears fold against his head to accompany this tonal shift. "The jerks eventually started to pick on the rest of my friends instead when they realized they weren't going to break me. Butters was even more of a scaredy pony back then than he is right now, if you can believe it, and Guilder... was even worse!"
"Horsefeathers," I call Rainbow out, not believing his claim for a second.
"Language," the pegasus scolds me, apparently caring about such things now.
"Hypocrite," I call him out a again, not backing down. "You're also a liar. Modern day Butterscotch alone passes out at the sight of imitation crab! I've seen it myself!"
Rainbow winces as he recalls the shared memory I'm referring too.
"Oh" he squirms, recognizing the strength of my argument. "Right, forgot you were there with us for that." Guess that's a believable enough excuse. I do often go unnoticed during group gatherings. "In the dude's defense for accidentally crushing that waitress into a pancake; if she had done her job right in the first place by not messing up our orders, she probably could have gone home that night without the mild concussion... and all the broken bones."
"I will not argue this undeniable truth," I nod my head once in complete and total agreement. "... But my point still stands! How could this Guilder guy of yours possibly be more afraid than a younger version of that?"
"Easily," Rainbow Dash states unhesitatingly, leaving no further room for objections. He then sighs tiredly as he turns to look outwards and away from me.
He's drawing once again on his memories.
"... G was the only griffon in our school back when we were foals... the only one," Dash makes sure to highlight. His eyes do not meet my own, not even to take in my reaction to the 'reveal' that Guilder, G, is a griffon. "Griffons usually do their own courses over in Griffonstone and stuff, but G's parents wanted him out of the nest sooner rather than later. They shipped his flank out to Cloudsdale the first chance they were given, which they got by signing him up for some weird cultural exchange program thing our school was trying out at the time.
"I've got no clue as to what the hay ever happened to the pegasus that got to go to Griffonstone in his place, but what I do know is that the exchange meant that G was miles away from his friends and family, and trapped in a pony city until he graduated.
"He was the only one of his kind,
"in a place that didn't know what to do with him,
"seven years old...
"... and alone save for a clawful of friends...
"... Sound familiar to you at all, Barb?" Rainbow Dash finishes his recap with a meaningful look now aimed my way.
...
...
... This pony is never going to stop surprising me, is he?
"He was like me," I concede willingly, realizing now what RD was hinting at. I hadn't thought that any of the boys had formed enough of a connection with me yet to start attempting to understand my feelings... Shows what I know.
Rainbow is now fluttering back over to my side. "And doesn't it scare you, sometimes, being the only dragon around?"
"S-sometimes," I answer this question of his truthfully. I'm fidgeting with my claws as I do; I wasn't expecting to be quizzed like this here. "It doesn't these days, but it did back when Dusk and I lived in Canterlot."
"Ponyville is different?"
"Hehe... You have no idea, Dash."
"... Well... at least it's cool that this town is starting to feel like home to you," Rainbow Dash chimes simply with a thoughtful smile. "Soooo, do you think you understand what I mean now when I say that Guilder was more afraid than Butters was, filly?"
"Yes," I respond right away, granting Dash the trust he had rightfully earned from me. "Yes I do."
"Awesome," he acknowledges gratefully, right before his smile starts to wane once again as he continues on. "I protected G from bullies cause I was the only friend he had at the time, and cause he was a real good one to me too back then... but that made the one's trying to bully him because of me hurt so much more! I-I didn’t want my friends to suffer just cause I wanted to fly fast, so I eventually stopped trying to change myself as much as I was doing.
"My body had other plans when it decided to keep me all mare-ish when I grew up, but I guess I don't really have anything to blame for that part except for maybe egghead science-y stuff Dusk or BB would be better at explaining than me...
“... Looking back on it; being forced to slow down was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
Before I could comment on this, blinking for all of half a second results in Rainbow Dash somehow disappearing completely from my vision. Wha? The fudge? Where did he g-
ZOOM
“Boo!”
“Ah!” I jump as the speedy pegasus just as suddenly materializes right to the left of me. And after I had warned him about pranking me again... A shame.
All I’m able to do right now is blow my cheeks up in retaliation to Rainbow's laughing, but better revenge will come later I assure you. At least he has the courtesy to offer me the tip of a wing to lift myself back up with. As I return to my feet, the cheeky pony allows himself to showoff a bit by backstroking in midair.
“When it turned out that I was just as fast after I took the dresses off as I was with them on, I knew then that I had what it took to own the skies whether I was a he or a she!" Dash elevates himself, becoming the one-pony hype machine I know him to be. "Nopony could keep up with me! I proved that stupid rumor to be totally bogus...”
Now gazing upwards at the blank ceiling, Rainbow Dash lets low a small content breath as a grin graces his lips.
“... I still came out of camp realizing that it was okay to like the kind of stuff I did though," he sighs peacefully. "I used to be so guarded over junk like that, but slowly I figured out that as long as my friends still like me for who I am, and as long as I’m happy with myself; it's okay if I want to braid my mane every now and then, or wear lipstick, or read a book at my own pace.
"I don’t care what other ponies think of me anymore, just so long as those around me are happy too. Butters was awesome enough to follow me to Ponyville after camp ended, and my folks still give me makeup kits every Hearths Warming, so they must think I'm doing something right...”
Rainbow's eyes then narrow.
“... Guilder, on the other hoof…”
Closing his wings in mid flap, Dash flips and lands gracefully before steadying his breath and turning to face me straight on.
A fire is now clearly burning brightly in those determined irises of his.
“He’s the reason I need to become a lady!”
At first I’m lost…
… but then everything once again clicks perfectly into place.
His past,
his passion,
his heartfelt declarations…
… It’s so obvious now!
“OH SWEET SOLARIS, YOU WANT TO ASK HIM OUT ON A DATE?!”
“Hay no.”
Eep!
Oops.
Okay… m-maybe things aren’t clicking quite as perfectly as I originally thought.
“Guilder is just a friend,” Dash reiterates, putting an abrupt halt to the millions of romantic scenarios my brain was in the process of generating. “I love the guy, sure, but only as a friend. I just... I just want him to be happy again, you know? That's probably why he’s coming to visit me tomorrow, he’s not happy! He's going to want to hang out with me just like old times, and that's why I need to be ready for him when he comes!”
“Rainbow Dash…” I speak clearly and plainly as I stare intently into his honest expression. “... you’ve completely lost me.”
With a frustrated whinny, Rainbow tries to explain himself for me yet again.
I’m not usually this thickheaded, folks, I swear.
“He used to be just like Butters,” Dash stomps to emphasize. “Used, to, be. During flight camp, Guilder was the kindest and most supportive friend I had! He helped me find magazines to read, taught himself and me how to do manes and tails, and he helped me figure out how to put on earrings!
"He also figured out and taught me how to curl my eyelashes, apply blush and foundation, and how to braid charms into my tail. He came up with my new name too when I wanted one to better match my appearance, and sometimes he would even paint my hooves for me... while letting me paint his own talons in exchange! Barb,” Rainbow begs, looking at me pleadingly. “He… h-he likes this stuff too! He wanted to be beautiful just like me… but when he started getting bullied because of how he was acting, he wasn't able to stay strong like I did.
"Instead he just… changed.
“It was like night and day! He started getting super aggressive about just about everything, and he also started getting super angry all the time on top of that! Griffons are known to be a little rude, I know, but he just stopped acting like himself! He wasn't scared anymore, but he wasn't G anymore either. I…”
The pegasus then exhales haggardly. With head held concerningly low, along with wings and ears, it’s as if all of his earlier bravado had upped and suddenly vanished.
In it's wake, only a deeply pained stallion remains.
“... I just want to get my friend back, Barb,” Rainbow Dash finally admits fully, no longer allowing himself to get sidetracked. “And I mean my real friend, not the fake he became.
"I want the Guilder who was willing to try on outfits with me, and who encouraged me to stay in school when I wanted to quit because of my grades. I know that Guilder is still in there somewhere.
"Maybe he grew out of all this, and that's fine too; I just don’t want to believe that the G that steals and yells at ponies is the one he wants to be over the G that cries at sappy books, and who wanted to be a chef when he grew up.”
"I don't want to believe that that G, my G, is gone forever."
...
...
… Okay…
... Third times the charm.
Now everything is starting to come together.
I should have known that Dash had noble intentions on some level. Loyalty is kinda his element, and I don’t mean his Element of Harmony. He’s the type of friend who won’t let you down, because his life feels so much more fulfilling with you in it. I’m so glad that I’ve been granted the opportunity to get to learn a little bit more about him today.
But... now there’s still one last piece to this intricate puzzle that needs to be uncovered if we’re to hope to move forward.
“How will becoming a lady help bring your friend back?” I ask wholeheartedly, now completely on Rainbow Dash's side for whatever this plan of his is going to turn out to be. I may be messing with the show’s canon a bit by aiding him in this endeavor, but this is clearly something he’s passionate about and something he’s going to still do regardless of my input.
I can’t rightfully get in the way of a plot to help out a friend now can I? That would fly in the face of this show’s very moral if I did! I’m just going to have to pray that Dusk learns… something from all this. A new lesson is better than no lesson, I suppose.
“If G shows up to Ponyville,” Dash begins to outline his grand scheme for me. “and discovers that I’ve been living my life to the fullest here, to hay with what anypony else thinks about it, then maybe he’ll figure out the same thing I did and start cooling off!”
Hmmm. I see what he's getting at here. Taking the school aspect out of the scenario that originally forced Guilder into his box, where he stopped acting like himself, might just work.
I can see a pretty large hole in this plan already though.
“But,” I start to explain, sharing my newfound concerns with my friend. “A lady though, Dash… That’s a pretty big change, even for you. You’re going to be really putting yourself out there if you do this.”
“It has to be big though, Barb,” Dash pleads with me with rapidly flapping wings, achieving zero lift. “If I just have my mane up in a ponytail like I’m doing now, o-or if I’m only wearing my lipstick he’s not going to take me seriously! Everypony in town has already seen me dress all girly too, so nopony is going to bat an eyelash if I’m trotting around in one of my skirts! A full gown though, with the moves, frills, and attitude to match…”
I’m starting to spot even more holes in this sinking ship.
“You’ll be turning heads for sure, Dash..." I detail gently. "... But are you okay with doing this to yourself? Think what the day after Guilder leaves is going to look like! You know? The one where not a single soul in this town is treating you like they used to? You're gonna end up being Rainbow Lass forever! I can't even begin to imagine how Applejack is going to react to all this.”
Surprising, or perhaps unsurprisingly, Rainbow Dash's only response to my valid concerns is to laugh them all off.
“Oh forget Applejack!" Dash barks undeterred, stomping a hoof down in a show of commitment. "Let the dude throw his hissy fits over me not being a 'real' stallion until his face turns just as blue as mine! And let everypony else do their own thing too! I’ve dealt with bullies my whole life, filly! One or twenty more isn’t going to put a dent in me! Hah! No...”
Rainbow's smile then shifts back from cocky to warm.
“... as long as you and the rest of the guys still like me afterwards, then I think I’ll be just fine."
"..."
"..."
"... You really trust us a whole lot, huh."
"Of course I do. You're my friends."
"And... you trust me just as much, Dash?"
"Hah! A hundred and twenty percent, filly!"
"..."
“... So… What do you say?”
A deathly silence descends upon the library as the most important question of all is cast.
My answer doesn’t come right away.
“...”
“...”
… Sweat glistens off of the determined pony's forehead…
“...”
“...”
After a full minute passes between the two of us where not a single word was uttered or thought, I at last offer a reply. “Well, Rainbow Dash.”
The stallion leans in closer in anticipation.
I proceed...
...to nod approvingly.
“I say that we’re going to need to work on your posture first, young lady," I report matter-of-factly, placing both my claws behind my back. "Your current one simply won't do.”
Needless to say, Rainbow is now ecstatic beyond description.
“Awesome!” he cheers at the top of his lungs, performing a quick aerial loop de loop to christen the success before landing before me. “Thanks! Okay, how do we work on that-”
SLAP
“Ow!” he then wails equally at the top of his lungs as I roughly smack the side of his foreleg with a closed fist.
“No talking,” I order as I stand on my tippy talons and place three heavy books atop his stationary head. Yeesh, it looks like I'm going to have my work cut out for me here.
Better start by laying down the rules.
“For the next twenty four hours, Rainbow Dash, you are to only respond to my words with a hearty yes or no 'ma’am’ and nothing else."
I push against the stack of books, adding further pressure to the pegasus' neck.
"I am now the only adult present in this room, and you, my dear," I whisper purposefully into his ear."... are just a little filly nipping at my coattails."
Rainbow's sweat returns as I add further pressure to the stack and further pressure to my words. As I do, I notice that I'm starting to sound a whole lot like my old instructor Madame Rum ‘Red’ Gibed right now. I'm also repeating a lot of her words too...
... If that's what this will take, then so be it.
Hopefully I can still retain some of my soul once we're done.
"We don't have a lot of time to make this perfect," I admit truthfully to my pupil, making sure that we're both on the same page. "You'll need to be doing exactly as I say and exactly as I do in order to survive this. Anything less will only end up making you look absolutely silly. I don't have to teach you which way the corset goes, for example, and I'm not obligated to tell you if your horseshoes match your blouse either.
"I'm not talking out of my tail here when I say that I'm now the master of your fate, Little Miss Dash," I apply some of my dragon strength to the tomes, causing Rainbow's knees to buckle. "I'm your only ticket to getting this done right. Don't think this means that I'm going to be picking out your ensemble for you, or doing anything else to make this easy. You're going to be doing that all by yourself as the final test for when you're done engraving my lessons upon that soft pink heart of yours..."
I grant Dash's shaking form a searching look.
"... Are we clear on the rules, cupcake?”
“C-cupcake?”
SLAP
“Ow!”
“Are, we, clear?”
“Yes ma’am!”
“Good,” I grin cheerily, happy with his obedience. With the aid of threatening dragonfire, I proceed to march my temporary charge down the library's stairs and out the front door. His books remain perfectly stacked in his haste, impressing me straight away. There might be hope for him yet... As I strut my way onto the streets of Ponyville proper like I own them, I offer to the stallion a hearty laugh before asking a tension easing question of, "Do you own a purse?"
Keeping his weights balanced, Rainbow Dash shakes his head 'no' in reply.
"Ha! Well now that simply won't do, darling." Guess it's time to perform the ancient wiccan ritual known to woman throughout the multiverse as shopping.
May the goddess of the hunt watch over and protect this poor naive colt, for he knows not the cruelty of the battlefield he has just galloped himself upon.