Rarity had outdone herself again. The wedding dress was nearly finished. She still needed to triple-check the measurements and give the whole gown another thorough examination just to see if she could find something to improve. It was a good way to spend the morning until the time came to go running around with Discord for what she prayed would be their final adventure together.
She wanted to see how stunning Ocean Rain would look in the wedding dress. Struggling unicorn fashionistas with a penchant for magic had been quick to put together a spell that manipulated their mannequins into resembling well known models before their work ever went down the runway. In addition to being banned at live events, it was rumored to bring about bad luck, but the risk was acceptable. Rarity had taken plenty of risks lately. She saw no reason to stop now.
The spell required all of Rarity’s concentration. She worried it might fail until an explosion featuring the colors of her aura emitted from the mannequin, which took on the appearance of Ocean Rain. Her facial expression was off. Instead of looking like she was about to get married, she wore a face that suggested she had finally grown tired of Mazurka’s morning breath. A quick tweak turned the frown upside down and erased the furrowed brow.
It was a pity Rain would only be able to wear the dress once. Plenty of photographs would need to be taken. Spider silk. How had it been done, they would ask. Rarity couldn’t imagine not crediting Discord. Her audience would surely cringe upon learning of their partnership since his image still needed polishing. She didn’t care. Discord could use the publicity.
Her optimistic fantasies needed to wait. Rarity retrieved a lunatoite brooch from her work table. The brooch was still glowing, having only recently been shaped. Such items were usually more valuable if made by hoof. If magic was in use, the intricacy of the design needed to reflect the additional help. The brooch featured an elegant combination of the cutie marks the couple possessed. Rarity fastened it to the chest of the dress. It didn’t steal any attention away from the gown, but its presence rendered the outfit incomplete. Something was missing, but only when the brooch was on.
A peculiar noise came from outside. Rarity checked the clock. If it was Discord, he was very early, having arrived right after Applejack. She didn’t dare draw back her blinds out of fear of Rain’s wedding dress getting exposed to a hidden photographer. Rarity left the room, making sure to lock it on her way out.
Applejack had abandoned her post at the front counter and gone outside, leaving the front door wide open. She spotted Rarity as she came to join her and pointed at a strange, green contraption descending from the sky. It was a tube that managed to stay suspended in the air with the help of four propellers jutting from its back and one fastened to its tail. Two sets of wheels were on the front and back of the aircraft. A continuous onslaught of wind accompanied its impending landing. Rarity had to keep her mane out of her face while Applejack held her hat down against her head. An odd, metallic odor filled the area. It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the townsfolk, who began to gather around and spectate.
Applejack shouted over the noise of the behemoth. “I think our friend is here.”
“Let’s hope it’s just Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said.
The rotor craft landed and a door on its side slid open. Five copies of Discord stepped out, each dressed in a strange, green uniform and carrying an equally bizarre metal object. Discord himself stepped out last. His doppelgangers immediately saluted him. They then scrambled back into the rotor craft, shutting the door behind them.
As the propellers stopped spinning, Discord stretched his arms out, awaiting applause. None was given. “Tough crowd.”
“You’re here rather early,” Rarity said.
Discord produced a worn notebook and waved it in front of Rarity’s muzzle. “Today’s excursion involves a little prep work. I didn’t want any homework, so I chose to put it off until the last minute. It will be time for us to go once I have this figured out. Speaking of which, I don’t suppose you would know what phase the moon is in, would you?”
Twilight emerged from the crowd and gave an answer before Rarity could recommend a calendar. “Waxing gibbous.”
Spike was with her. Rarity gulped. A good portion of the surprise would be ruined if either of them figured out what was really going on.
Discord flipped to a specific page in his notebook and leaned down to talk to Rarity. “I’ll be waiting for you in your bedroom.” He teleported away.
Rarity thought she could sneak off without having to exchange pleasantries with Spike and Twilight, but they were both heading right for her. Refusing to acknowledge them would be in bad form. If ever there were a time to cut and run like a heathen, it was now. Rarity couldn’t do that to herself.
Twilight was as sparkly as ever. “Hey, Rarity. Is Discord bothering you?”
Rarity chuckled nervously. “No, not at all.”
Spike narrowed his eyes. “You sure? We can chase him off, if you want.”
Perish the thought. “I’m fine, really.”
Applejack came to the rescue. “Discord ain’t causin’ any trouble. Any real trouble, that is. He’s just here to help Rarity gather some materials she couldn’t otherwise grab herself.”
Rarity jumped in before Applejack could go any further. “I’m making a dress.” Who knew?
Spike bought the whole charade. “If you needed help, you could have asked me.”
“Thank you, but as it turns out, the fabric I needed had a few risks involved in its acquisition and I would never ask you to do anything dangerous for me.”
He wasn’t convinced. “What were you after?”
“Now, Spike, you know I can’t tell you that. You shouldn’t say anything you don’t want everyone to hear. I can’t break client confidentiality for anyone, not even my own parents or Sweetie Belle. When it’s finished, I’m sure you’ll be able to read all about it in Chic.”
“Ahh. I hope there will be plenty of pictures.”
“It’ll get a full spread, I assure you.”
Spike looked away from her and poked two of his claws together. “Does this mean you’ll be late to my party?”
“No, I’ll be right on time. It looks like I’m going to finish this project early.”
Twilight put a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “We had better get going.” She winked at Rarity, having seen through the ruse.
Spike removed Twilight’s hoof. “Wait a minute. I had one last thing I wanted to say.” He blushed. Profusely. “I know Pinkie Pie has at least five filing cabinets full of great gift ideas for me, but. . .it would be enough just for you to show up to the party, Rarity.”
Rarity nodded in approval. “How mature of you. I want to get you something, though. That’s my choice.”
“I’ll be sure to treasure it forever.”
“I’m sure you will. Don’t let me keep you from your errands any longer.”
“See you later, Rarity.”
They waved at each other. Spike left, leaving Twilight behind. As soon as Spike was out of earshot, Twilight opened her mouth.
Rarity was faster. “It’s not a book.”
Twilight sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. That would have been super awkward. Can I get a hint? Pinkie Pie won’t say anything unless two ponies are buying the exact same gift.”
“A hint? Very well. It’s edible.”
Twilight’s face lit up in surprise. “Is it the fire ruby?”
Rarity could hear herself start to sweat. “That was my original idea, but I’ve misplaced it. I’ve had some extra help finding a suitable replacement.”
“I take it you’re referring to Discord?” Twilight asked.
“You’re as sharp as ever, Twilight.”
“I see. I think you’re going to make Spike very happy, Rarity.”
“Most likely. I just want you to know I’m not doing this to show any of you up. He has earned what I’m giving him.”
Twilight scoffed. “It wouldn’t be very generous of you if you intended to show us up.”
“That’s a good point, but all of us have occasionally acted outside the expectations thrusted upon us by our respective Elements. I want everyone to know that this is not one of those times.”
“Yikes. I can’t wait to see this. Whatever it is. Good luck.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it. We’re getting the final ingredient today and Discord was particularly excited about it yesterday. That doesn’t bode well.”
“Whatever happens, I’m sure you’ll do just fine.”
“I’ll give it my best effort. Take care, Twilight.”
Rarity took one last look at the aircraft parked in her yard before heading back into her shop with Applejack.
Applejack closed the door for Rarity. “I don’t mean to be a worry wart, but I’ve got a funny feeling about today. My gut hasn’t set right since last night. Discord’s grand entrance didn’t help. Maybe all of us should go with you two this time.”
“He’d refuse,” Rarity said. “After all, this whole thing is our little game.”
Applejack sighed. “Have him cut his nonsense, then. Don’t go if he won’t. If he has a problem with that, have him come talk to me. Today ain’t gonna be easy, even if he says otherwise. His fast, wild, and free lifestyle is bound to catch up with him at some point and none of us need to be around when it does.”
“You make a decent point, Applejack. I thought the same thing while I was in the Yellow Rock cave. I’ll be sure to emphasize the need for caution today.”
“Good. My gut has never steered me wrong. The less goofin’ around he does while you’re lookin’ for the moonstone, the better.”
Rarity nodded in agreement and went upstairs, hoping to shake off Applejack’s warning after listening to Discord’s briefing. The sound of chalk scratching against a blackboard gave her an idea of what to expect as she opened the door to her bedroom. All her furniture had been hastily crammed into a corner to make room for three chalkboards covered in several forms of math. Discord was working on a fourth board, occasionally pausing to consult his worn notebook. He didn’t bother acknowledging Rarity.
The most detailed map of the known world had been nailed to her wall with no regard to where the studs rested. Vicious cracks sprawled out from the nails holding up the map.
Discord scribbled more numbers on the chalkboard in front of him. “Today’s adventure will take us to a location beyond time and space. The entrance moves depending on the phase of the moon and several other factors.”
“What sort of place does such a thing?”
Discord stopped writing on the chalkboard and turned to face Rarity. His demeanor was uncharacteristic. For once in his life, Discord couldn’t be more serious. “The abandoned dimension once inhabited by many of my kin.”
Rarity hadn’t expected such a reply. At all. “You’ve left me at a loss for words.” She needed to be extra careful not to offend him. Being the last of his kind had gotten depressing at least once. “How long has it been since you were last there?”
He went back to figuring out the formula he was working on. “Shortly after I was the last one left. I don’t remember how long ago that was. Ponies were still fighting with each other.”
“Are you okay with going back? We could go tomorrow or some other day if you’re not prepared.”
“It’s fine. I’ve known we would need to pay a visit to my old stomping grounds since I pitched my idea to you. To be completely honest, we probably should have gone there on the first day. It would have been the easiest of the three ingredients to fetch and you would have been put off by the sudden increase in difficulty the next day. I just didn’t feel like going back there until I absolutely had to.”
Rarity hesitated. “I have a few questions. If they sound insensitive, please understand that I mean no offense.”
“Fire away.”
“Were all of your kin drawn to chaos magic?”
“Of course. Chaos defines us. We get to see it in action every time we look at a mirror. Few were as good with it as I was. I suppose you could think of me as a grand master if I were a unicorn.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but given what you have said, I can only be led to imagine a city filled with all sorts of traps. I think it would be a good idea to get some extra hoofs together before we set out on our journey.”
Discord barked a laugh. “We’ll be fine. When have I failed to protect you over the course of the past few days?”
“I’m just worried that you might have forgotten something.”
“What, like you? Fat chance. It’s all here in this notebook.” Discord slapped it with his lion paw.
“Then what must be done to obtain the enchantable moonstone?” Rarity asked.
“It’s hidden inside a communal vault.”
“And we’ll just stroll right in and grab it? That sounds way too easy.”
“It will be. For us. Anyone else probably wouldn’t make it out in one piece.”
Rarity had to keep trying to shake his confidence. “I have a feeling something is going to go horribly wrong.”
“That’s not unusual as it’s always a possibility.”
“Exactly, so maybe we should bring along some extra help.”
Discord waved her suggestion off. “How many ways must I say it until it sinks in? If I had the slightest suspicion you wouldn’t make it out of their alive, I would have gone by myself.”
“Very well. Just so you know, I would hate to have to say I told you so.”
“As would I.”
Rarity decided to drop the subject. She wasn’t getting anywhere. “How much longer is it going to take you to solve that problem?”
“Not long.” Discord wrote a set of coordinates on the only remaining space of the board he was working on. “In fact, there it is.”
The piece of chalk in his eagle claw turned into a dart that he threw at the map of the world. It marked a spot in the middle of the South Luna Ocean. Specifically, The Equinox Pit. It was the deepest part of the ocean. Even sea ponies needed magic to be able to venture into it as their bodies could not withstand the pressure at such depths. Those who managed to return from a trip to the pit spoke of aquatic monsters not worth bothering, even for the sake of science.
“Is the entrance to this dimension always this accessible?” Rarity asked.
“We don’t let in just anyone, sweetie. You need an invitation. Anyway, this isn’t the time for jokes. We have thirty minutes to find it before it moves again. The solution to that hemorrhage inducing formula narrows the location down to a ten-mile radius.”
“Covering that much ground would take more than thirty minutes,” Rarity said.
“If you had been kind enough to let me finish, I would have told you about the item I have created that will help us find the door. It’s in the helicopter, which is the thing outside with the spinning blades.”
“I hope the seats are comfortable.”
Discord took hold of Rarity’s bed with telekinesis and threw it out her bedroom window. She watched the helicopter appear beyond the new hole in her wall and ascend into the sky. A rope ladder appeared, inviting them to have a climb.
“What was that for?” Rarity asked, having to shout over the noise of the helicopter.
Discord leapt out the hole and grabbed hold of the ladder. “I’m shaving a few precious seconds off our time.”
“In the most dramatic way possible.”
“Look who’s talking.”
He had her there. Before joining him, she grabbed her orange saddlebag and put it on. A quick check revealed no nasty surprises. Seeing no other way onto the helicopter, Rarity went into a gallop and leapt out the hole, catching the rope ladder in her front hoofs. Discord’s weight was still on it, which kept it from swinging. Whoever piloted the helicopter continued gaining altitude as Rarity climbed the ladder. Past Discord’s butt, she could see an open door. A clone of Discord dressed in the same outfit from earlier stood by to help if needed. He wore a headset over a helmet that had the word ‘Maverick’ emblazoned across the front.
Rarity spotted a pegasus mare with an unmistakable mane heading right for them.
Dash came to a stop a few hoofs in front of Rarity. “Whoa, what is this thing?”
“I think Discord called it a helicopter,” Rarity replied.
“Neat! It’s like a metal airship. Smells awful, though.”
Rarity reached the open door and had to pull her mane from her face. “Sorry, darling, can’t talk right now. I’m getting ready to spend the rest of my day at Discord’s mercy.”
“Hah! Good luck!”
She would need it. Once she was safely inside the cabin, Maverick gathered the rope ladder and closed the door behind her. He gave her a smile and joined another clone at the front of the aircraft who had been watching everyone board the aircraft. ‘Phoenix’ was written across his helmet. Maverick took his seat on the left and began operating an array of controls that Rarity couldn’t begin to comprehend. Part of her felt Discord had no idea what all of them did, either. The helicopter had to be running on his magic.
As the craft was built to accommodate Discord’s natural height, it was a large space for a pony to be in. Discord sat on a bench in the back of the helicopter. He gave the spot next to him a pat. Rarity humored him. She spotted a collage of photographs featuring him and Fluttershy taped to the wall on his right. For some inexplicable reason, the Twilicane was mounted above the door opposite the one they had entered.
Before she could ask how long their ride would be, the helicopter started shaking.
Maverick put a paw to his headset. “Uhh, this is your captain speaking. We, uhh, are going to experience some, uhh, turbulence. Buckle up.”
Rarity couldn’t do it fast enough. After strapping herself down, she looked out the helicopter window. The sky was still outside. Everything went black in an instant. A horrible noise came from directly above them. It sounded just like her blender right before it had died. She put her hoofs to her ears. The illuminated control panel was all she could see. Something started crawling in her lap.
“Switching on the interior cabin light,” Phoenix said.
Adequate lighting was restored to the interior of the helicopter. Two rattlesnakes were tied together in a knot around her stomach. Scoffing, she undid the knot and shoved them off her body. Upon striking the floor, they turned into stuffed animals. Rarity looked out the window again. She couldn’t see anything. It was impossible to determine where they were. The terrible grinding noise lessened. A scraping sound replaced it as something sharp rubbed against the aircraft.
Rarity realized what was happening. “Are we coming up through the ocean floor?”
Discord grinned and nodded.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
Rarity figured she had him. “But Discord, aren’t we wasting time? Would it not have made more sense to just teleport directly outside our destination?”
“What a dreadfully dull idea. We have more than enough time to take the scenic route.”
They broke free from the sand, ridding them of the noise traveling through it produced. Rarity heard the rotors spinning overhead, but nothing else. Though Rarity was not an expert on the matter, she had a hunch the helicopter couldn’t function in the ocean without Discord’s help. The pressure outside alone would have crumpled them up into a mess the size of a marble.
Phoenix flicked a switch. “Searchlight on.”
Rarity moved towards the front of the helicopter to get a glimpse of their surroundings. A white, scaly wall with a furrow running through it filled the entirety of the windshield. It opened, revealing an orange pit with a slanted, black iris that focused on them. She realized they were looking at the eye of a gigantic creature. The eye narrowed. A guttural growl that reverberated throughout the helicopter confirmed it had done so in offense.
The part of her brain that processed threats sputtered, desensitized from being around Discord. Was this truly a threat? Two rattlesnakes had just been in her lap. The beast in front of them could easily be another part of the show.
A telekinetic force yanked her backwards and placed her on the bench at the back of the helicopter. At some point in the middle of her trip, she had been dressed to go scuba diving, complete with a wetsuit. Nope. It was a threat. Rarity spat the regulator out of her mouth as a lap bar and an over-the-shoulder restraint pinned her to the bench. While she waited, Discord leaned over the pilot’s seat to speak with his clones as the gigantic beast in front of them began moving.
“Boss, that’s definitely a leviathan,” Maverick said. “We should teleport him out of this area unless you really want me to fly through his intestines.”
“While that does sound amusing, it would probably be more trouble than it would be worth,” Discord said.
A giant maw full of teeth opened in front of them.
“You know, I could swear we know this fellow,” Phoenix said.
Discord reached for the control panel. “I had a feeling I had seen him somewhere before.” He flipped a switch on the panel and tore the headset off Maverick so he could have access to the microphone attached to it. “Levi! Stop! It’s me! Discord!”
They stopped advancing towards the throat of the leviathan. A hesitant groan emitted from the red cave. Rarity’s restraints released, allowing her to waddle up to the front of the helicopter in her scuba diving gear and get a better look at what was going on. The single eye of the leviathan focused on them again.
“Golly! Is that really you, Discord?” asked an odd voice belonging to an individual with limited refinements. “Well, I’ll be. It is! Shoot, I thought you was a humpback whale, or somethin’. Did yer door spawn somewhere ‘round here again?”
“Why else would I be down here, Levi?” Discord asked.
“Yeah. Hey, is that one a them little ponies you got in there? Good thing I didn’t eat you. Them ponies give me a bad reaction.”
“Levi, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got twenty-five minutes to find the door before it hops off to who knows where.”
“You want some help lookin’ for it?”
Discord slapped his own face with his lion paw and let the microphone slide into the center of his eagle claw. “We’ll be down here all day at this rate.” He brought the mic back up to his mouth. “No, Levi, that won’t be necessary. I’ve got something that will help me find it.”
“Aww.”
Discord gave the headset back to Maverick and moved over to the Twilicane. He took it down from its mount and twisted the bottom. A click emitted from the cane before it shot from his lion paw and collided with the windshield. The eyes of the Twilicane flashed red.
Phoenix spoke into his microphone. “Levi, can we come in? Looks like where we’re going is somewhere inside your lair this time.”
“Sure. I gotta warn you, though. It’s a bit of a mess in here. I don’t get ‘round to cleanin’ much on the count of I don’t get very many visitors. Mostly just you and that other feller. You know, the one with the octopus face?”
“Don’t answer. You’ll just encourage him,” Discord said.
Rarity almost urged Discord to be nice, but stopped when she considered Levi’s carnivorous diet. The helicopter flew over Levi’s head into the cave he had claimed as his home. They quickly uncovered his favorite hobby. Tucked away in corners near the ceiling were ships that had been lost at sea. Airships that had crashed into the ocean were also among the remains.
The spotlight passed over a cruise liner Rarity recognized. “Is that the Gigantic?”
“That’s what it says on the side,” Maverick offered.
Rarity could hardly believe it. “They’re still looking for the remains of this ship. It’s almost been a hundred years since it sank. There’s supposed to be a crate of red diamonds in the luggage area. Can you believe that? Red diamonds!”
Discord laughed at her. “You’ve got a saddlebag full of celevite and lunatoite. We’re on our way to pick up enchantable moonstone. How can you possibly gush over red diamonds at a time like this?”
Rarity flicked her hair back. “Diamonds are a mare’s best friend.”
Discord gagged himself. Boys just didn’t understand.
“If you ever feel like getting me anything, you know where to look,” Rarity said.
“If, and that’s a big if, I wanted to do that, I’d be obligated to hang out with Levi for at least an hour. I’m not sure you’re worth that effort.” Discord shook his head. “But I’ll still think about it.”
The Twilicane turned to the right, grinding against the glass and prompting Maverick to follow where it was pointing. They faced a crack too narrow to fly their helicopter through.
“I’m going to land,” Maverick said. “You two will have to continue on hoof.”
Rarity felt the wetsuit she was wearing disappear.
Discord pulled the Twilicane from the windshield, which took a good yank. “I don’t feel like going for a swim. I’ll weigh us down so we can walk.”
The helicopter settled next to Levi’s enormous body, kicking up a cloud of sand. Discord slid the door open. Contrary to Rarity’s expectations, water didn’t rush in. She took a few deep breaths to be certain she could as Discord stepped outside into complete darkness. Light sprang from the eyes of the Twilicane, providing an ample amount of illumination. It pulled Discord forward like an excited dog on a leash. He struggled to keep his grip on it.
Rarity ventured outside of the helicopter. Her movement was not hindered by the water she traveled through. There was no protective bubble around them. Discord had chosen to make their magical enhancements invisible. Rarity glanced behind her shoulder to see what had become of the helicopter and the clones, only to see nothing at all. She moved closer to Discord.
Discord lost his balance. That was all the Twilicane needed. It took off straight ahead towards their goal, taking their light with them. The darkness swallowed them up. Discord acted quickly, producing a torch that somehow managed to burn underwater. They had far less light, but they could still tell where they were going.
“There it is,” Discord said, pointing at a yellow light in the distance.
He took off running. Rarity galloped to keep up with him. The walls closed around them as they ventured deeper into the crack. Rarity looked up. Though there was little light, she could see the ceiling coming down on them. Under any other circumstances, a dead end would be coming up fast. Instead, they met with something else entirely.
The back of the passage ended with a smooth, horizontal wall. A regular front door made of wood featuring a peep hole and an unremarkable knocker was perfectly affixed to the stone around it, as if somebody did indeed have a home on the other side. The lock beneath the bronze handle required a skeleton key to bypass. There was a doorbell to its right. The light Discord had spotted came from a porch light above the door. A burgundy welcome mat was in front of the door with a pot of blue flowers to keep it company.
The Twilicane had stuck itself to the door. Discord pulled it free with a tug that made his shoulder pop, switched it off, and stuffed it in Rarity’s saddlebag. Discord rubbed his claw and paw together as he examined the features of the door. He grabbed the knocker and tapped it against the wood. No answer. He rang the doorbell. An unfamiliar tune played faintly from somewhere beyond the door. Discord knelt and grabbed the mat. He was about to flip it over when he took another look at the plant.
Discord nodded at it. “Quick, what are those?”
“Hydrangeas,” Rarity replied.
He got up and moved the plant to the side, uncovering a bronze skeleton key. Discord slid it inside the lock and turned it to the right instead of the left. A bolt unlatched. He twisted the door knob and opened the door.
Discord held it open for Rarity and bowed. “Mares first.”
“A perfect gentleman,” she muttered.