Rarity’s showroom floor was nearly ready to function without her. It was a little more cluttered than she liked, but it couldn’t be helped. The bell above her front door jingled as someone stepped in.
Applejack was thirty minutes early, as usual. “Mornin’, Rarity. Sleep well?”
Rarity didn’t stop marking prices on the clothes she had out. “I’m afraid not. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying about what Discord has in store for me or the very important client I’m due to see in four days. Even with a bit of valerian root, I only managed four hours of sleep. It was miserable.”
Applejack took in the abundance of items Rarity had on display. “Are you havin’ a sale today?”
“Not entirely. I’ve got more of my inventory on the floor than usual since I can’t expect you to know my shop inside and out.”
“Thanks, that will help me out.”
Rarity finished setting her prices and went over to Applejack. “I’m the one who should be thanking you. I really appreciate you coming in on such short notice. I’ll be sure to return this favor.”
“Just focus on stayin’ one step ahead of Discord since he’ll play rough. I’ll manage all this to the best of my ability. It’ll work out.”
“Alright. If anyone needs to see me while I’m gone-” Rarity gestured to a stack of paper and a cup full of ink pens “-have them leave me a message. Nobody should give you any trouble. Just about everyone should understand that when I say I have urgent business to attend to, I mean it.”
“Got it.”
“There’s one other matter we should discuss. It’s about the client I just mentioned. Her name is Ocean Rain. If she happens to come in early for some reason, give her the sealed envelope beneath the register. As I said, she shouldn’t stop by today, but one can never be too sure of anything.”
“What should I say if she or some other pony wants to know what you’re up to?”
“Tell them I’m out gathering materials to make a custom gemstone for another very important client. If they are feeling particularly chatty, try not to mention that I’m working with Discord if you can find a way around it. Anyone who absolutely must speak with me today can do so after I’ve returned this afternoon.”
Applejack went behind the counter holding Rarity’s register and confirmed that the envelope was where she said it would be. “Clear as mud, Rarity.”
Rarity began heading up the stairs. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Take your time and be careful!” Applejack called after her.
Once inside her bedroom, Rarity sat in her reading chair in the corner of the room next to the window. Her new bottomless bag was on an end table beside the chair. A book rested on top of it. Regarding Salamander Culture: A Comprehensive Guide, written by Twilight Sparkle. Rarity had made it most of the way through. Twilight had a knack for immersion and could make a shopping list read like poetry, even when she was writing for the highbrow crowd. Rarity picked up where she had last left off while she waited for Discord to arrive.
Her alarm clock tore her out of the book five minutes before ten arrived. She marked her place with a bookmark Sweetie Belle had made for her, slipped on her new saddlebag, and waited. It was almost time. But for now, her mane was fabulous. Her makeup wasn’t running. Sweat wasn’t dripping into her eyes. There were no nasty bugs biting her as they always seemed to do whenever they needed a meal. At least she wouldn’t be wandering around outside in the middle of the summer or winter. It was a bit chilly outside, but that was good. She wouldn’t sweat as much. Additionally, the exercise she would be getting would make up for how much she was likely to eat during Spike’s birthday party.
The clock struck ten and fell off its hook. It landed on its back instead of its face, which could only mean one thing. Discord emerged from the door the bird would have slid out of. His leer did little to mask his narcissism. Rarity wasn’t impressed.
The leer twisted downward in disappointment when Discord noticed Rarity’s blank expression. “You saw that one coming, didn’t you?”
“Don’t take it personally.” Rarity grabbed the saddlebag with her aura and put it on. “What’s on the agenda for today, Discord?”
“You and I will be hunting celevite.”
Rarity sighed. “At the gate to Tartarus, I suspect.”
“Heavens, no! I’d be far too busy keeping you safe if that’s where we were going.”
A black track suit and a blue bandana appeared on Discord’s body. Two small weights proclaiming to weigh one ton each appeared in her room. He began levitating them while running in place, oblivious to the glare Rarity developed.
“What are you doing aside from looking like a complete goon?” Rarity asked.
Discord punched at the air. “I’m getting warmed up.”
Her bedroom stretched out fifty yards in every direction. In the time it took to blink, it became so cramped that nothing was more than an inch apart. Discord’s body odor hit her. She had no space to back away into. Rarity held her breath, but she could feel the smell taking the color out of her mane.
“How did you think we were going to be traveling?” Discord asked. “By train? Please. We’re teleporting. Where we’re going is much farther than what Twilight managed with that airship, but that’s fine. This isn’t a competition. You ponies can’t be blamed for having inferior magic. Are you ready for some yoga?”
The room became its normal size again and began flipping upside down. Rarity braced herself, but she didn’t start falling. Everything in her room slid smoothly into the ceiling, which was now the floor.
“You would make an excellent cartoon character,” Rarity said.
“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.”
A deep rumble reached Rarity’s ears. Twilight’s book fell from its resting place with a thud. Drawers slid open, vibrating incessantly.
Applejack appeared at the door to the room as Discord put one leg in front of the other, knelt, and placed both his claw and paw above his head. “What in tarnation is goin’ on up here?”
There was a bright flash. Then there was nothing at all. Rarity had a second to worry about it before the world appeared in front of her eyes again. She stood on a trail leading upward. A lush landscape surrounded her. Trees. Flowers. A lake in the distance. Concession stands selling salted ice cream. Public restrooms. They were at a national park. Which one was a mystery since they hadn’t teleported near an entrance.
Other ponies who had been enjoying themselves before she popped into existence stopped taking pictures, cuddling on the public benches, and feeding tame squirrels long enough to make her the center of attention. Almost all of them recognized her and the creature she was with. Much squealing followed. A heroine of Equestria traveling with a reformed villain who could destroy the world at the drop of a hat if he wanted to. It was the perfect photo op. The sound of camera shutters closing filled the air. Rarity put on a smile and waved at her fans.
“Wow!” Discord exclaimed. “I can’t remember the last time I had to use so much. . .oops.”
Her intuition had been correct. Something had gone wrong. Rarity checked her mane with her hoof. “Did you just say oops?”
“Probably.”
She pulled the mirror out of her saddlebag and studied her reflection. Everything looked normal. Rogue Damsel was specially formulated to hold up on adventures. “And what precisely did you mean by it when you said it?”
Discord showed her his left arm, which was bent at a funny angle.
Rarity leaned in. “I’m no doctor, but that looks like it’s dislocated.”
He flicked his arm and it snapped back into place with the noise a light bulb made when it decided to burn out in style. The crowd groaned in disgust.
“So, where are we?” Rarity asked as she admired a field of azaleas.
“Welcome to the Yellow Rock Royal Park!” Discord shouted. A chorus of cheers from the patrons backed up his enthusiasm.
“I haven’t been here yet. Isn’t this place famous for limestone?”
“Yes, and if Cae Cae hadn’t been so quick to label this stretch of land a park, someone would have eventually found what we’re looking for.”
“And how did you learn that something as rare as you-know-what is waiting just beneath the surface?”
“I’m going to live forever.”
“That explains everything, doesn’t it?”
Discord nodded. “Follow me. We have a short hike to get to where we need to be.”
“How many minutes does an immortal being such as yourself fit inside the definition of short?”
“Start counting.”
He walked ahead of her, tossing a canteen over his shoulder without looking back. It landed around her neck and adjusted itself until it rested on her body like a necklace. Rarity took a deep breath and began walking alongside Discord. This would be the easy part.
The trek took them uphill. There was plenty to look at along the way and all of it was gorgeous. Birds. Grass. Willows. Outdoorsy type things. Rarity wished she had packed a camera. She caught sight of a beautiful lodge overlooking a pond from the hill they were ascending and wondered what brand of luxury mattresses the owner had trusted to place in the available rooms.
Discord kept a pace that didn’t make her sweat. That would come later. Each time they reached a fork in the road, Discord led her up the path to higher ground. Some ponies could tell time based on the position of the sun, but Rarity wasn’t one of them. Her legs eventually started hurting, but she powered through it. She was in her prime. The pain was nothing. She had endured worse. Poor reviews stung more than achy joints.
A building near an entrance to a cave came into view. Rarity instinctively knew they had reached their destination. If gems could not be found in caves, she would have nothing nice to say about them. Some sort of twist had to be in store for her. Discord always worked an angle. She kept her guard up.
Discord headed into the building. To get through the front door, he had to shrink himself a few hoofs. He held it open for Rarity.
“Thank you,” Rarity said as she entered a rest area.
A dozen ponies were mingling at the oak tables provided in the lounge. Some were eating food they had pulled from the available vending machines. There was a large yellow banner that had “The Great Cave Adventure!” written across it in red ink taped to the back wall. Beneath the banner was a long table containing several trays stacked with papers. Rarity suspected they might find a map among the documents.
“Alright, who’s in charge here?” Discord asked.
A stallion stopped chatting with the two mares he had been sitting with and trotted over to them. He wore an orange vest bearing the name of the park.
“Hello, I’m Grotto. May I help you?” the stallion asked.
“That depends. Are you the manager?” Discord asked.
“You might have to go to the entrance of the park if you’re looking for one of those,” Grotto replied. “There’s an admin building about---”
“I’ll make do with you,” Discord said. “How many customers do you have inside the cave right now?”
“I had a caver check in a few hours ago. Ten other regular visitors decided they didn’t want to take our guided tour and went in on their own. Why?”
“Because I was hoping to have the entire cave to myself and my hot date.”
Rarity almost passed out. “Oh, no, no, no. Not even as a joke.”
“Stop it, dear. You’re embarrassing me,” Discord said. He returned his attention to the stallion. “What’s it going to take to get you to make sure nobody else goes in that cave while me and my fillyfriend are in it?”
Grotto grimaced, unable to give an immediate answer to such a sudden, demanding request. “Uhh. . .”
“You got this job because you knew somebody, didn’t you?” Discord asked.
“Discord, please!” Rarity interjected. “Have some manners. How long are we going to be in that cave?”
“That’s going to depend entirely on you. If I had to guess, I’d say this will take about three hours.”
“Then I shall rent the whole cave for our use for that amount of time.” Rarity turned to Grotto and gave him a smile. “About how much will that be?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” Discord snapped his eagle talons. A gold ingot appeared suspended in front of Grotto’s face. It landed on the ground with a thud.
“Wait just a moment, that’s illegal!” Rarity snapped. “You can’t make gold magically. It’s counterfeit.”
“Believe me, honey bunches of oats, I know,” Discord said. “Everything that bar is made of has been drawn from resources in the immediate area.”
“This place has gold?” Grotto asked.
“And other beauties that would blow your mind,” Discord replied.
“Wow. I might need to let the park manager know about that. You don’t need this much to rent the cave, though. We do rent it out for private tours, but those must be scheduled in advance. It’s only forty bits for that.”
“What a deal.” Discord snapped the toes of his lion paw. The bar shrunk in size and a pouch full of bits appeared next to it.
Grotto rummaged through the pouch. “This looks like the right number of bits, but what’s the ingot for?”
Discord rubbed at his eyes. “What an imbecile. It’s yours. Use it to pay for college. Keep everyone else out of the cave while we are in it.”
Grotto nodded. “Okay, I suppose I can do that. Business has been slow today. Everyone in here has already been through the cave. It looks like you packed a canteen, which is good. Would you like a map?”
Discord turned around and headed for the exit. “No need. I’ve been through it before. Even the portions that aren’t mapped.”
Rarity perked up. “I’ll take a map, Grotto.”
“Good idea.” Grotto pointed to the table beneath the banner. “They are in the purple tray.”
She grabbed a map, stuffed it into her saddlebag, gave Grotto one last smile, and hurried to catch up with Discord. He had grown back to his original size. Something inside of her saddlebag began moving around a few steps short of the cave entrance. A crane fashioned from the map broke free and flew away.
“We’re not going to need that,” Discord said. “Where we’re headed isn’t on it.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to have,” Rarity said, watching the crane ascend into the sky. It flew in front of the sun, which caused her to stop looking at it.
“It will just clog up your inventory, Rarity. Trust me.”
“I don’t mean to speak out of turn, but those of us who aren’t mares tend to overestimate their confidence in their sense of direction. That’s considered common knowledge, at least among ponies.”
A squeaking noise accompanied Discord’s sharp turn. He had something that looked like a stamp in his talons. “Open your mouth.”
Rarity’s neck reared back in sudden disgust. “Excuse me?”
The second she finished her sentence before having a chance to close her mouth, Discord’s eagle claw shot out and placed the stamp on her tongue. Whatever it was, it began dissolving immediately and tasted a lot like a watermelon. Rarity spat at the ground to no avail.
“Discord, you’ve got some nerve!” Rarity shouted. “When was the last time you washed your claws?”
Her chest felt fuzzy, as did all her limbs. A flash of blinding white light appeared in front of her. Everything Discord knew about the cave became evident to her faster than her mind could process it. Tunnels. Stalactites. Stalagmites. Limestone. A sign advising ponies not to even think of cave diving next to an underground lake. Yet more limestone. Sections leading away from the main path blocked by a barrier spell set permanently in place by a unicorn who could wield magic at the master level. Gold ore. Down, down, down. Celevite could never be found near the surface. Someone had once dug deep enough to find it.
“Happy now, sugar plum?” Discord asked.
Rarity couldn’t get the taste of watermelon out of her mouth. “What happened to the ponies who were the first to find what we’re after?”
“Something that isn’t going to happen to you.”
A sudden gust of wind accompanied their entrance to the cave. This wasn’t going to be a regular gem-hunt. An endless number of unpleasantries presented themselves to her imagination. Bats liked caves. Cockroaches loved caves. And centipedes. One had crawled up her leg during her very first gem hunt. Someone had to have been down in there with her because she started hearing rumors that the cave was haunted. It must have had something to do with the scream she had produced.
Occupants marked as highly dangerous and easily irritable in the Bestiary of Unpleasant Creatures also had a notorious affinity for subterranean dwellings. Rarity caught herself. The section of the cave opened to the public would have no such terrors lurking in the shadows. They wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in that area, though. Discord had promised to keep her safe. She had to trust him. Perhaps even look on the brighter side. If anything, she was experiencing the most interesting part of her day.
Discord stretched his eagle claw towards the ceiling and cast an illumination spell, causing a bright bulb of pure white light to leap from his talons. He had weaved tracking into the spell, since it responded by moving in the direction their eyes were facing. The intensity of the light lessened whenever it happened upon bats or if it was looked at directly. Discord had some skill. Rarity couldn’t deny that.
Their trot through the cave wasn’t dull. The interior was completely natural. Some of it seemed sculpted. It was a refreshing departure from the cramped tunnels she was familiar with in the mines and smaller caves she trudged through in search of gems. There was room to breathe and plenty to look at. Rarity considered it a pleasant experience that would soon come crashing down all around her.
They reached a junction. Another one appeared almost immediately. Discord knew where he was going. Rarity didn’t even think of questioning him until they encountered a dead end. This was the first break Discord had given her. She had been able to drink water from her canteen when needed easily enough, but there hadn’t been much of a chance to keep up her appearance.
She pulled out her mirror and gazed into it while Discord leaned against the wall. “Are you going to turn this space into an elevator?” Her cosmetics were still holding up. That’s why they cost a pastern and a gaskin.
“Why would I want to do that?” Discord asked. “This is your first challenge.”
Rarity scoffed as she stuffed her mirror back into her saddlebag, accidently banging the glass against the buckle. “Do you expect me to teleport to the other side? I think that may violate the terms of the agreement we came to the other day.”
“You’re not very observant, are you? Have a closer look at your surroundings.”
“You won’t simply tell me?”
He grinned. Something about the expression gave off the aura of the old Discord. Rarity responded with the look she reserved for stallions who were about to suggest they split the bill. It had no effect.
“No. I want to see the look on your face when you figure it out,” Discord said.
Rarity guarded her emotions. If he knew he was creeping her out, he would become even more unreasonable. In front of Rarity stood a wall made of limestone. Hardly out of the ordinary, especially in a cave famous for it. There was a crack along the bottom of the wall just wide enough to squeeze through. A white coat often came in handy. It prevented anyone from being able to tell if she was going pale.
The effort to keep a deadpanned expression caused her lips to quiver. “You can’t be serious.”
A large blue glow stick slid out from the crack and smacked against her hoofs. The muffled grunts of a random stallion escaped from the small opening. Two hoofs protected by rubber boots came out first, followed quickly by a head sporting a safety helmet with a dirty lamp.
The stallion knocked his head against the wall, startled by his audience. He recovered quickly and began laughing. “Hey, there!”
Rarity could have sworn a comical popping noise followed his exit. He stood up, causing her to blush. She had thought stallions couldn’t come built much bigger than Big Mac. Proof of how wrong she was towered over her. How he had managed to fit inside an opening as tiny as the one before her was nothing short of a small miracle. He turned around and pulled something tied to his hind leg. A backpack came out of the hole.
All the gunk in his hair had hidden the color of his mane and coat. A single piece of his jumpsuit not covered in filth revealed that it would be yellow after he put it through the wash a few times. He stunk of exertion mixed with the earth, much like Applejack did during the summer after a day of hard work.
“Greetings, weary caver,” Discord said. “Who might you be?”
“Tight Squeeze,” the stallion started laughing. “Just kidding. I’m Dandy Primrose. You’re the cretin that almost conquered Equestria a few years back, right?”
A tiny piece of Rarity’s tongue escaped from her mouth as she bit down on it with her teeth to keep herself from snickering.
Discord chuckled. “My good stallion, I had your capital city and its suburb under control within minutes. I could have had all the land across this continent switched from soil to strawberry jelly with one simple snap if the Elements hadn’t managed to get their groove back. The only reason I held back was to pace myself. Who wants to spoil all the fun immediately?”
Dandy wasn’t impressed. “Uh-huh. What’s someone like you doing with a mare like that?”
“This is one of my besties. Don’t you recognize her?” Discord asked.
Dandy narrowed his eyes. “Hold on. She looks familiar. Don’t tell me. Fluttershy? No, that’s the wrong one. Princess Twilight Sparkle? No, she has wings. Show me your cutie mark.”
Rarity stood so that he could see it. He leaned in so close his muzzle almost touched her hip.
“Can I get five consonants and a vowel?” Dandy asked.
Rarity guffawed. She and her friends were supposed to be in the same category of common knowledge as the color of the sky. Rarity needed to remain polite. This was a blessing. How long had it been since she hadn’t been recognized? “I’m Rarity, the Element of Generosity.”
The confused expression on his face let her know he still didn’t know who she was. “Oh, yeah!” Dandy said, but his heart wasn’t in it. “What brings you two to the entrance of the Wriggler?”
“Curiosity,” Discord replied. “You look like you’ve done this sort of thing before. What can you tell us about this feature of the cave?”
Dandy put on his backpack like a saddle. “I don’t know. You’re not planning to go in there, are you? Neither of you are dressed for it. You’ll get cut up pretty bad if you go in there naked.”
Discord clapped his claw and paw together. Rarity noticed she now wore a disgusting jungle green jumpsuit with pink rubber boots covering her hoofs. A yellow safety helmet with a lamp attached to it had found its way around her head. Discord had her saddlebag slung over one shoulder.
“That’s more like it,” Dandy said, nodding in approval at Rarity’s gear. “A pony your size should have no problems in there. Your bud looks like a noodle. He’ll slip through easier than you will. There’s nothing too dangerous on this course. It’s beginner friendly. Kind of. There’s a drop, but you’ll see it coming. That’s about it, I guess. Anything else I can help you with?”
Rarity thought about how much fun was ahead of her and sighed to get the anxiety out of her chest. “I’d say that about covers it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Enjoy the formations. I know you’ve seen plenty of those already, but you’re about to see some that you only get to see if you’re serious about exploring caves.” Dandy picked up his glow stick using his mouth and exited the chamber.
Rarity watched him leave. There was a brief commotion as Dandy enthusiastically greeted the other ponies coming back from the end of the tour. He had startled them. Laughter followed. They began heading towards the entrance together. She wished she could go with them. Discord wouldn’t have to restrain himself for much longer.
“Let me get you your own light,” Discord said.
He opened his lion paw. A second sphere of light floated above it. He gave the sphere a puff. The ball flew over and bonded to Rarity. It was to be her companion and would function far better than a flashlight. Discord reached behind Rarity’s ear and pulled out a silver whistle on a gold chain. He draped it over her neck.
“If you get stuck, give this a toot and I’ll bring the lube,” Discord said.
“I don’t see how I’ll be able to do that with my lungs sandwiched between two slabs of limestone,” Rarity said.
“I have faith in you, Rarity. I’ll go on ahead. Take your time. I made sure to bring plenty of crossword puzzles and word searches.”
Instead of vanishing, Discord slid through the crack with a startling burst of speed. The noise his body made as it scratched against the innards of the cave lessened, leaving Rarity in silence. She switched on her headlamp for additional light and got down on her belly. This was for Spike. He deserved it. The discomfort would not last forever and the outcome easily outweighed the effort. Watching Spike tear through the wrapping paper and pop open the fancy box she planned to put the gem in would be worth every bit of the agony she needed to endure.
“I am lucky to be able to do this,” Rarity whispered to herself. “I will try to enjoy myself. If this was easy, it wouldn’t be anywhere near as special.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Alright. That’s enough stalling. On with the show.”
Rarity crawled into the guts of the cave. Discord’s musk mixed with Dandy’s, creating a distinct male odor. She wiggled over to the left, avoiding where the guys had been. The ball of light tracked her movement, lingering near her left shoulder and clearly illuminating the path in front of her.
She gave up on holding back any sounds of exertion trying to escape from her mouth. It was unladylike, but so was squirming through the bowels of the earth. Her workouts had nothing on caving, but that was her fault. Twilight insisted on a regular routine of cardio since her closest friends needed to run for their lives every now and then. Despite encouragement, Rarity didn’t bother with anything else.
Rarity went to great lengths to avoid sweating, of which she maintained there were two types. The first was acceptable. Getting nervous at a competition or powering through a dress caused sweat she could tolerate. Farm work and wiggling furiously through tight tunnels caused the other kind she disdained. Her hatred of sweat was precisely the reason she figured the entity who controlled fate saw it fit to encourage her participation in the most grueling activities imaginable. One after the other.
The loss of the captivating sensation produced by being in a confined space alerted her to the chamber she had just entered, which led downward. Rarity stopped crawling forward, stood up, and gave her mane a flick. Tiny rocks flew into the air accompanied by a centipede one hoof in length. It bounced off the cave wall and went back into the crevice she had just crawled out of. She didn’t even realize she had been giving it a ride. That complicated matters. Rarity figured she needed a bath followed by a shower with a trip to the spa added in for good measure before she could feel fabulous again. A centipede on her body merited another bath after the shower. Then she could go to the spa.
Rarity made her way to the bottom of the chamber, being sure to watch for the drop Dandy mentioned. Discord was nowhere to be seen. She hadn’t expected to be let off so easily at the first checkpoint. More furious squirming remained to be done and if didn’t pick up the pace, she would be down in the dark for longer than Discord had estimated.
A crack in the wall served as her next obstacle. To slip into it, she had to stand on her hind legs and tip hoof her way ever so delicately to the exit on the other side. She popped her neck, took a moment to enjoy her freedom, and hurried into the entrance.
Dandy had to be a contortionist. Either that, or she was doing something wrong. Figuring out who to place the blame on robbed her of the concentration it took to inch slowly forward. Her ears flickered at the introduction of an unexpected sound. Running water. A stream was somewhere nearby. Sweat finally managed to drip down into her eyes. She cried out and tried to bring a hoof around to wipe her eyes clear, but there wasn’t enough room to allow for it. With a cry of exasperation, Rarity continued strafing along the line in front of her with her eyes shut tight and her upper lip curled into a snarl. The gem might double as Spike’s Hearth’s Warming Eve gift.
Something grabbed her rump. Rarity jerked bolt upright in alarm, slamming the back of her helmet into the wall behind her so hard that it slipped forward over her eyes. Now she didn’t have to pretend to be blind. Panting in exertion, Rarity used her magic to move the helmet back into place. She wiggled, trying to break free. Nothing. Rarity wiggled again, this time with renewed vigor.
Stupid. Hips.
“Oh, yes!” Rarity cried out. “Yes, indeed. Oh, how very fine and dandy. Speaking of Dandy, I owe you a debt of gratitude, wherever you are. This truly is an easy cave for a mare of my size. Ahh, but I had this coming, didn’t I? Taking the word of a stallion who can’t recognize someone whose cutie mark is plastered on every piece of merchandise our royally appointed legacy manager can imagine.”
Rarity breathed in for four seconds, held the air in her lungs for seven, and exhaled for eight. She repeated the procedure. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere.
“And don’t even get me started on Ocean Rain,” Rarity muttered.
Four. Seven. Eight. It worked. She could feel herself calming down. It was time to swallow her pride and call for help. Rarity used her aura to place the whistle between her lips and blew into it with all her might. It produced the same noise a fog horn did. At first, nothing happened. Before she could blow the whistle again, she heard something coming. Claws scratched against stone. When Discord appeared, he came weaving through the cavern like a snake. He curled his body all around Rarity and placed his face next to hers.
“Show off,” Rarity said.
“As if you have any right to say that. Anyway, I’m quite impressed. I’m not sure how you managed this.”
“It’s my first time. Were you expecting perfection?”
“From you, yes. Anyway, we can’t have some other pony getting snagged like this. That won’t do at all. Hold still.”
The narrow corridor became much wider through some means she had no way of observing. Rarity still had to remain on her hind legs, but she was no longer stuck.
“Better?” Discord asked.
Rarity didn’t answer and continued towards the exit. What Discord had just done got her thinking. He might have modified the cave to be especially challenging for her. Discord wouldn’t admit to it if asked, so Rarity didn’t bother wasting her time.
“You’re welcome,” Discord said. “You’ve got a little bit longer to go.”
Rarity spit sweat out of her mouth. “Don’t wait up.”
“It gets a little interesting once you get past this part. There’s some soda straws and helicities up ahead.”
“Because those weren’t already a part of the regular tour.”
Discord chuckled and shot passed her, kicking up a few pebbles that bounced against her jumpsuit as he left. Rarity squeezed through the exit and entered a room with a ceiling decorated entirely with soda straws. She hadn’t expected there to be so many. Water had to be directly overhead. This hidden cluster of formations was supposed to be her reward, but she could barely appreciate it.
The drop Dandy had mentioned finally arrived. Though virtually impossible to miss, a sign with an arrow pointing to it had still been erected for the less observant. Rarity peered over the drop. The stream she had heard was at the bottom. To get down to it, she would need to take the ladder bolted to the rock. Since the fall looked rather nasty, Rarity proceeded down the ladder with care.
Once she reached the bottom of the ladder, she noticed the stream led into another cramped tunnel. She checked the rest of the chamber to make sure there were no other exits. Some frogs were relaxing near the water. She made sure not to step on them and waded into the stream. The water was chilly, but bearable. As she proceeded further into the tunnel, she found herself standing on her hind legs again and using the wall for support. The water soon came up past her belly. Thankfully, none of it leaked into her boots. Discord had dressed her well.
Her life was made complete when a rat emerged from the shadows and ran across her fetlock. Rarity cried out and lost her balance, tumbling into the water.
She recovered quickly and got back into the same position she had just been in, her mane thoroughly drenched. “Of course!” Rarity swatted the water. “What’s next? Am I going to have to run from a boulder? No, that’s not humiliating enough. Drop something on my head! A wash pan would do just fine!”
Rarity checked for more rats before returning to her cave adventure. What was to be dropped on her head turned out to be the ceiling. The water soon came up to her neck. She met a few crayfishes who weren’t bothered by her intrusion, likely used to curious ponies by now. One waved at her. Rarity flashed it a big smile and continued forward.
The end of the tunnel opened into an underground lake. She scrambled onto land. Even though the route was safe, she feared what might be lurking out there. In the dark. Underwater. Her father had once told her a story he had heard from one of his fishing friends on Nightmare Night about how a catfish had swallowed the friend he had been fishing with. The stallion, a unicorn, had escaped using teleportation.
Though the soda straws had been somewhat underwhelming, the view of the underground lake was a bit more aligned with her tastes. Rarity took a short break, shaking her whole body like a dog to get the water off. A fire would have been nice. There was a spell that unicorns used to warm their bodies, but she had never bothered learning it. Perhaps it was time to take Twilight up on the offer she had made to teach her better magic.
Much to her relief, she didn’t need to venture out into the lake to find the way forward. There was a tunnel leading down tucked away in a corner. An arrow drawn on the wall with red paint pointed at it. A fast learner, Rarity had no problems pulling herself forward on her belly through the narrow space.
She emerged into a small cavern. One of the unicorns working for the park had teleported a crate into the center of the room. Aside from that, another tunnel with a low ceiling awaited her appraisal. She chose to inspect the open container first. Pinback buttons were inside the crate. She fetched one with her aura. Black letters were against a white background. They proudly proclaimed that the bearer of the button was a wriggler. She had to be nearing the end of the course.
After putting the button in a pocket, she noticed all of them suddenly featured Discord’s face.
Every button spoke at once in Discord’s voice. “Having fun yet?”
“You have no idea,” Rarity replied.
Discord erupted from the bottom of the crate, sending buttons flying everywhere. “It’s time for us to take a little detour.”
He crawled out of the crate and walked to the wall that faced away from the tunnel Rarity had expected to take. Discord reached down with his lion paw, grabbed a metal handle that could not have been there before, and pulled the wall up into itself like a garage door. A new passageway was revealed.
“I found something in here that you might be interested in. I figured I’d show it to you since it happens to be along the way.”
The rock wall slammed shut behind them with a tremendous crash. Rarity knocked her head against something, which caused her to stagger back. Discord stopped short of bumping into what had collided with her. There was nothing in front of them but the rest of the tunnel.
“We’ve reached the barrier,” Discord said. “How thorough. They really wanted to make sure nobody ever peered behind the curtain.”
“Why? Is this place actually dangerous?” Rarity asked.
“My dear, where in the world is one truly safe?”
“Good point.”
A blue, translucent wall materialized in front of them. Discord put his lion paw to his chin as a plethora of intertwined arcane symbols formed on the barrier. It was all part of the puzzle to get through the magical wall. Beyond that, Rarity knew nothing.
“Goodness!” Discord exclaimed. “They really should have used something a bit stronger.”
“You weren’t in mind when this was put into place,” Rarity said.
“True.”
Using his eagle claw, he poked the barrier in a specific spot, leaving behind a white orb. He touched three more spots, forming the shape of a square. Once finished, he stepped back. The orbs connected themselves and an opening appeared in the barrier.
“Easy enough,” Discord said as he stepped through the opening, gesturing for Rarity to follow.