//------------------------------// // IV... // Story: Dividing Infinity // by Coyote de La Mancha //------------------------------// Hours later, surrounded by floating charts, diagrams, mathematical calculations, and files, the queen shook her head in sheer disbelief. The more the Apparatus had been used, the more, following a disintegrating curve in time delay, these strange and motiveless crimes of violence had occurred. When she accounted for the curve, there was an almost perfect positive correlation. Yet, there were no emanations from the Apparatus itself to account for such an anomaly. Not to mention that she and the Scouts had been completely unaffected. And those who were closest geographically were not necessarily the most likely to die or kill. It was the well-educated, the highly intelligent, who seemed to suffer the most. So, once she’d eliminated all kinds of emanation as possible causes, she had cross-referenced the types of crimes, their targets, the perpetrators, everything she could with the Apparatus’ uses over the years – worlds, times opened and closed, even traits of the individual Scouts who had gone through – to no avail. She had crunched numbers on political events, finances, even her own starry skies. No probability above chance connected any of the happenings to one another, or directly to the Apparatus’ use. No credible possibility of something slipping through from another world, possessing ponies or driving them insane. But the crimes, the threat of war… they were still happening. And somehow, the Apparatus was the key. There had to be a third factor, something either connecting the violent acts to the Apparatus causally, or running in perfect correlation to them both. Something she hadn’t accounted for. But what? At length, even her alicorn’s endurance gave way to fatigue, and she slumped over her desk, exhausted. She had just started slipping into dream when her head snapped up again, her eyes wide. They’d all had the same knowledge… knowledge of the Apparatus! And more to the point, perhaps, what it truly did. She began pacing again, more frantic than ever. What if it wasn’t the Apparatus itself, or some strange radiation from it or some possessing entity from an alien land? What if it was knowledge of the Apparatus that had been spreading throughout her realm? And with that knowledge, the strange crimes. Even in other lands, Noblesse Oblige had said the uprisings were almost always happening near universities, communication hubs, or both… Hoping desperately she was wrong, Queen Twilight swept all the floating papers away with a wave of her hoof. Equations began to form in the air, variables moving and resolving themselves. When she found the result, she cleared the air before her, and worked the problem again, slower, more meticulously. Then, she cleared it again and started again. And again. Until, at long last, she could only stare at the correlation before her. Somehow, in defiance of everything she had ever believed possible, knowledge itself had been killing her people. But… that was insane. Since when could information kill? Slowly, realization came. This had to be the third factor: the implications that came with knowledge of infinite realities. Twilight began pacing again. She’d seen no reason to make what she was doing secret, even at the beginning. It had never occurred to her to try. Why would she? And as selective as she was about screening potential Scouts, there had been so many rejected candidates who had at least been exposed to theories anyway that it wouldn’t have been practical. Even now, there were a hundred teams of three ponies each, with twice than number in training. None of them lived in a vacuum; most of them had friends and families outside of the palace. So, over the years, more and more people – mostly ponies, but also occasional yaks, zebras, dragons, and others – had been coming to understand and consider the source of her vast knowledge. How must it have seemed to some of them? The realization that everything they did, everything that happened to them, was only one of an infinite number of things… all of which did happen to them, and were chosen by them, every second? Twilight sat down, hard. Her head was spinning. It all made too much sense. Bitter, miserable ponies, knowing for a proven fact that in other universes they lived better lives. Ponies with every privilege, knowing that nothing they had or had gained mattered, because they simultaneously had nothing. When everything is real, is everything permissible? When every choice is made and every chance comes true, does any choice really matter? If the dice come up with every number, every time, why not put everything you can get on one roll? The interest doesn’t matter. Somewhere, you’ll win. And if not here, why not just die? After all, there are infinite worlds in which you’re wealthy, powerful and secure. Keep the good lives, discard the rest. And meanwhile, other nations - nations that had never wanted to be part of an empire - were rallying around impossible rebellions. Of course they fought to the death! Why wouldn’t they, when they knew for a fact that, in other worlds, they were already free? And then there was Cadence, Twilight realized. True, Cadence had killed everyone around her. But she’d only killed them here. In other worlds, other Cadences were still alive. More accurately, she was still alive, in an infinity of other worlds. In some of those worlds, Cadence still had her husband. Shining Armor had never succumbed to death. In others, she lived on anyway, simply because she was stronger and able to make a different decision. So, by implication, when the Princess of Love had destroyed her palace… was there, because of that, one more world somewhere else where they had all lived, because Cadence had made a different choice? By committing mass murder and suicide, had she, in a sense, saved them all? Pippin Apple, burning his family and himself, and all the farm, to death. When every choice is going to be made, every possibility is going to come true. Everything is going to happen to you, somewhere. So what does one choice matter? It doesn’t matter, Mama. Just stay with me, honey. It’s okay. Breathe. It doesn’t matter. Twilight stared ahead, feeling numb. Constantly burying herself in magic and science, she had never considered what she’d been doing from that perspective before. But now… It’s all true, she realized. All of it. Everything ever said, everything left unsaid, everything ever imagined. Even the lies are true. “And if that’s the case,” she whispered, “then nothing… means anything.” She stared, frozen in thought. So, in the end, everything I’ve done… my whole life… none of it matters, she realized. None of it. Not me. Not my life. Not my friends, their lives, or even their deaths. Not my people. Not my work. Not my world. None of it. Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Nothing. Matters. Twilight stifled a chuckle… Twilight stifled a chuckle, the chuckle escaping, despite her best efforts, into laughter, and then a mad gale of cackling. At length, disturbed and uncertain, servants had sent for some of her Scouts. Wind Walker was the first to arrive with his team, and when he saw her, he stood in silence, his eyes closed in pain. Neither he nor his companions needed to ask what had happened. Perhaps they had always expected this day to come, and had just never wanted to admit it even to themselves. His wife and husband put their hooves on his shoulders, and he returned the gesture. Then, heartbroken, they entered the royal sanctum together. She did not fight them as they gently gathered her up, nor when they placed her in her old apartments in one of the palace towers, unused for so many years. When doctors came and went to no avail, the nobility simply filled in what little vacancy Her Dread Majesty had left, with a little sadness but with far greater relief. For the sake of the people, it was officially announced that the Queen of Light and Darkness had at last chosen to leave Equestria forever, to explore the cosmos she loved so well. Yet even as the announcement was being composed, the Royal Order of Interdimensional Scouts secretly met before the Apparatus one final time. Together, they activated the great device. Some of them left their homeworld behind them that day, never to return, usually along with friends and lovers from among their fellow Scouts. These ponies started new lives in other worlds they had come to love in their travels, worlds which held fewer painful memories. The rest were determined to remain behind, to complete the business at hand. At length, the final farewell had been said, the final passage made. Those who had stayed looked one last time at the massive fifth-dimensional thing before them. Then, using all their combined wisdom and power, they powered the Apparatus down, dismantled it completely. It faded seamlessly into the cosmic principles from which it had been created. They would suffer no one to ever use such magic again. The Royal Order of Interdimensional Scouts disbanded that day. Should their skills be needed, naturally they would answer. But unless such a time came, they would simply vanish. It was better that way, they felt, for everyone’s sakes. So it was that the Queen of Light and Darkness became the guarded secret of Canterlot Castle. Cherished and cared for, never ageing, never dying, and always, always, laughing. Whatever terrible secrets she had discovered safely locked away within her mind, forever. Twilight stifled a chuckle, shaking her head. Ridiculous, she thought. Whatever was actually going on obviously had her too turned around to think properly. She stretched, yawning. She hated to admit it, but she had been at this problem for too damned long. Still, she thought, Better safe than sorry. Regardless of the ultimate cause of the deaths plaguing her people, if it might have anything to do with her projects, she owed it to her subjects to discontinue until she knew for certain and the problem was solved. With a flick of her will, she shut the Apparatus down completely. It had been a long time, but she was willing to bet her old apartments were still vacant. She’d sleep in a bed tonight, and try to look at the problem with new eyes in the morning. Twilight stifled a chuckle, shaking her head. Ridiculous, she thought. Whatever was actually going on obviously had her too turned around to think properly. She stretched, yawning. She hated to admit it, but she had been at this problem for too damned long. Still, Pinkie Pie had always told Applejack that sometimes it was in laughter that one found the deepest truths. The deepest truths… The thought arose in Pinkie’s voice from her memories unbidden, bubbling with the earth pony’s laughter. Twilight’s heart ached then, as it always did when she thought of her old friends. But immediately another, ancient voice from long ago finished the thought in her mind: …is power. And chaos, of course. Nothing else matters, if even that does. Twilight stared, feeling suddenly cold. Could it be that simple? “No!” she shouted, suddenly standing again. “I won’t let it be that simple! I won’t let it be! Your chaos was pointless! It made life pointless!” Wings flared, horn ablaze, the enraged winds lashing against her castle walls. “I’ve done the opposite! I’ve built things! Discovered things! Made life better for everyone! “I’m not a force for chaos! I’m not! I bring justice! I bring peace! I bring life!” Her voice cracked over the thunder as she screamed, “I bring ORDER!” Then, darkness. Stillness. The silence itself seemed to answer her. No. You don’t. She stared. Stared, realizing just who, or what, she had been yelling at. The Apparatus. For a moment, she simply stood there, staring at it, shaking. No, she thought. It can’t be. Still trembling, she approached the embodiment of her life’s knowledge, her greatest achievement. There was only one decision that mattered, she realized. Only one choice that was, or could be, real. She reached out towards the device she had labored over for so many years… Still trembling, she approached the embodiment of her life’s knowledge, her greatest achievement. There was only one decision that mattered, she realized. Only one choice that was, or could be, real. She reached out towards the device she had labored over for so many years, and after a moment’s concentration, felt it start to fold in on itself. She redoubled her efforts, felt it collapse into a probability singularity, then smooth itself out and vanish completely. She stood in her sanctum, alone, for a long time. Finally, she raised her head again, tears still flowing freely down her muzzle. I’m so sorry, she thought. I can spend my life trying to make this right, for a thousand years and more, and it still won’t be enough. But I still owe it to you to try. You are my people. And I, for better or worse, am your queen. She looked around at her laboratory. And I owe you better than this. She started towards the door, feeling, for the first time in her long life, very old. Was this how you felt towards the end, Celestia? She wondered. Luna, were you trying to give me, not inspiration, but hope? It hardly mattered now. In the grand scheme of things, nothing did. But that, itself, also didn’t matter. If the cosmos couldn’t give meaning to her life, then she would give it meaning herself. She paused at the door, smiling despite the ache in her heart. Falstaff would hardly be pleased at her suddenly holding daily court; the nobles, even less so. But somehow, she didn’t mind that. She would announce the destruction of the Apparatus, the end of her experiments. That should eventually stop the strange deaths. International diplomacy would follow, she decided. She had been the World Queen for far too long. She would make it clear to the world’s leaders that she had never demanded nor desired their tribute; only their good will, and to help them prosper. She would embrace who she knew herself to be, and help the world’s fledgling nations secure their independence as best she could. She would be the Princess of Friendship once again. The Empire would fade, and good riddance. And in the meantime, she could amuse herself by annoying those dreary nobles who had become so accustomed to running things. And if that proved too difficult, she had a feeling that Discord might be sighted again sometime soon. She smiled to herself. If anyone could stir things up, the draconequus could. She started down the hallway, in a somewhat better mood despite the troubles of the world. Maybe Celestia had felt this way sometimes, too. Still trembling, she approached the embodiment of her life’s knowledge, her greatest achievement. There was only one decision that mattered, she realized. Only one choice that was, or could be, real. She reached out towards the device she had labored over for so many years, and after a moment’s concentration, wrenched it open. The explosion was felt throughout the palace. No one dared open Her Dread Majesty’s sanctum doors save for the first of the Scout teams. Wind Walker glanced in, and then motioned the others, nobility and servants alike, away. He and his family alone entered, closing the door behind them. The lab was a shambles, irreplaceable knowledge and lore gathered over the years forever lost. The Apparatus was gone. In the middle of the room was their beloved queen, the left half of her body all but completely burned away. Her face, at last, at peace. Still trembling, she approached the embodiment of her life’s knowledge, her greatest achievement. There was only one decision that mattered, she realized. Only one choice that was, or could be, real. She reached out towards the device she had labored over for so many years and wrenched it apart, down to its very conceptual core. The Apparatus screamed, slicing through dimensions in a negatively charged stable strangelets cascade. The disruptions obliterated her own world along with countless others, reducing them to less than dust, their inhabitants’ stories left forever unfinished. Still trembling, she approached the embodiment of her life’s knowledge, her greatest achievement. There was only one decision that mattered, she realized. Only one choice that was, or could be, real. She reached out towards the device she had labored over for so many years, and rather than activating it as she had so many times past, she simply opened it. Under the loving caress of her mind it blossomed forth like a rose in the sun, into five, six, seven dimensions and more. How beautiful, she thought. How beautiful, and how strange. Strange that I never saw this way before. But then, she knew, she hadn’t been awake enough to see. Not until now. As she entered, the facade that had been the Apparatus collapsed behind her and faded away into nothingness, leaving her old world undisturbed. She ignored it, walking across the threshold and into the source. This, she realized, was what she had been searching for her entire life. Lives, she corrected herself with a smile. And all without knowing. Blindly fumbling, desperately searching for what her soul had always craved. Just as another had done, unguessable eternities before. He turned at her approach. Seen clearly, what had once seemed a leer was a look that was inviting and full of warmth. Even love. He extended an eagle’s claw to her in welcome. “Hello, Twily,” he said. “You’re looking well. Care to stay?” Her smile growing warmer, she returned his glow as she took his talon in her hoof. “Yes,” she said. “I do.” Discord smiled as well, even as they took one another in a multidimensional embrace. Their kiss crossed space and time as they spun together through fact and fantasy, laughing and free. Twilight, Queen of Light and Darkness, had found the answers that she’d craved for so long. And the Lord of Chaos, after infinite eternities of waiting, had found his queen at last.