//------------------------------// // Ch. 10 :: The Consequences // Story: Truth or Dare // by Tirimsil //------------------------------// The girls played a few more rounds, of course - shuffling up who was asking who. Twilight was forced to ask Luna what her least favorite thing about a family member was. She was a bit reluctant to get started, but, with Fluttershy's assurance that disliking one thing about her sister did not mean she hated her, soon erupted into quite a rant. She stopped once she realized everyone was listening to her compare her "assets" to those of "the Holy Cow" and immediately ended her turn, her face shining bright pink. Twilight covered her face for the entire next turn. Fluttershy Dared Rarity not to look at herself in the mirror for the entirety of the next pony's turn - which was Fluttershy's. Fluttershy was then Dared to say one bad thing about someone else in the room and told Rarity she had a zit. Rarity immediately failed her Dare, and Fluttershy giggled and apologized over and over and over, clapping her hooves with glee. Pinkie asked Rainbow Dash what the biggest lie she'd ever told her was. When she reminded Dash of all of her active Pinkie Promises, it turned out Dash broke one - she'd briefly dated a wannabe stud who thought all "fat mares" were ugly, to which Dash strongly objected because Pinkie was adorable. This broke a Promise never to identify Pinkie with the F-word, but under the circumstances, Pinkie let her off easy. (She tickled her, of course; Luna made a curious sound, looked all over the room, and acted like she didn't witness a violation of a court-ordered restriction.) Pinkie got a Dare to gargle the entire alphabet with salt water. She projectile-vomited onto Rarity after six letters. Everyone was disgusted, but other than Rarity, they all laughed anyway and helped to clean them both up and get the "yuck" out of Pinkie's throat. Luna volunteered a story in which Celestia suffered a similar reaction to one of Blueblood's colognes. Rarity felt much better when she heard the Prince was the target in that case. And Luna, after she stopped dancing in place upon reading the card, got to ask Applejack what her biggest fear was. Applejack firmly and immediately answered "ghosts". Of course, Twilight promptly said ghosts weren't real, and Applejack reminded her that Nightmare Moon wasn't supposed to be real either until she was. Since Nightmare Moon turned out to be a nice lady (Luna raised her hoof and waved), Applejack was soon convinced that the ghosts she swore were haunting her house might have been her parents and felt "plumb awful" for how she'd been treating them. Twilight then set her head down and sighed because complaining any further about ghosts could have been taken as contempt against Applejack's parents which, as she'd learned from Rarity's answer to "What's the worst fight you've ever been in", was a one-way ticket to Canterlot Hospital. Soon, the Princess felt she ought to retire for the night, and six hugs later, she departed and the girls prepared for bed. Twilight was immensely relieved that the Princess's various embarrassments and near-humiliations hadn't turned anyone into ash. "Good job, girls," she praised her friends. "We've managed to avoid outraging a Princess. I'm sorry I doubted you." "Mm-hmm," Applejack mumbled, "Luna's a great gal. Just a mite shy, is all..." And bam, she was out, making little sleepy whinny noises. "We've outraged a Princess!!" Twilight shrieked the next morning. It was a lovely morning, really; the dawn streamed gently through latticed windows, allowing the day to invade the room only gradually; "Get up, sleepyheads," it said gently, "but take your time, it's okay." The maids had come in - though not Riverrose, for as the girls learned, she was a personal attendant to the Princess and never far behind her. They had taken the dirty plates, dusted the floors, straightened the curtains, and fluffed the pillows as soon as most of the girls were awake. Oh, and Twilight was Twilighting at all of them. "I'm sorry, what?" Rainbow Dash said. "I thought Luna was super happy with us!" "She is!" Twilight huffed and puffed. This time, the girls all understood, and shared nervous looks with each other. "N-now Twilight, let's not jump to conclusions," Rarity asked, trying to calm herself as much as calm Twilight. "Hypothesis, check. Now, sweetheart, what is your evidence?" Soothed by her sultry sciencey words, Twilight slowed her breathing and held up a rolled parchment. The girls stared quietly, the room fading to grey, as she opened it back up and began to read aloud. To our beloved Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, As you may have heard, I have not felt very well these past few days, or else I would visit you in person. Perhaps I will still do so, as I expect to recover before your time in Canterlot is at an end. Please allow me to express my gratitude for entertaining Luna. I was worried that she may not be able to withstand the stresses of the particular responsibilities transferred to her, and that these may have have a detrimental effect on your soirée. Indeed, I am suspicious that the delegates for the 50th Annual Rain-Dancing Festival, which was held on the first night of your visit, may have made me sick! I am pleased to hear that everything went well. "Why that sounds lovely," Rarity protested, and Twilight cut her off. However. The girls all shut their mouths and looked at each other nervously. 1. This morning I was informed that our stock of goldenfern tea has been entirely consumed. An odd coincidence: it was delivered to your location. This wondrous tea is the only thing currently preventing me from putting myself into a magically-induced coma, and if you have any packets left I must respectfully demand them at once. Rarity put her hoof to her mouth and glanced at the table where they'd had tea. "Tell me you didn't drink 'em all," Rainbow Dash said. "There were twenty packets." "Twenty-one," Fluttershy corrected. "A-and her sister may have drank about half of them..." "Okay, so ten-ish. Even if all of us had one, that's still like four left!" Fluttershy looked down sheepishly. "I was very thirsty..." Dash paled. "You little --" "Listen!" Twilight demanded. 2. I have found that the hot water in Canterlot Castle has been temporarily exhausted, requiring me to take a cold shower or none at all. Any pony who I find to be uncannily glittery, steamy, or cuddly shall be sent to the dungeon. Perhaps then you will appreciate a good shower and not be quite so greedy about them. Rarity, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash looked at each other. "Okay wait, both of these things are Luna's fault," Dash reasoned. "She was the one to order the tea delivered to our room, and she specifically told us to use as much water as we wanted." "Why, you're exactly right Rainbow Dash, that's very reasonably sound," Twilight grimaced. "Yep, that's definitely the choice Princess Celestia would pick between going after her sister and going after us." Dash warbled and had no counter to that. 3. The incredibly robust septic system of the castle has been terribly clogged. Our plumber tells us he has not seen such a concentration of... matter in all his forty years of work in the business, and assures us that it must have originated from the Woona Tower washroom. All residents of the castle, ... and here Twilight put emphasis... up to and including the heads of state, She coughed. are forced to utilize alternative facilities until such time as this incident can be resolved. "What's a head of state?" Dash asked. "A PRINCESS IS A HEAD OF STATE!!!" Twilight roared. "Oh fuck." Dash got quiet again. Applejack put her hat over her face again. Pinkie looked back and forth with her eyes, wearing a wobbly Charlie Brown grin. "Now that can't be Princess Luna's fault," Rarity said. 4. You may have noticed that Luna, when she is in a good mood, is very chatty, and often reveals more than she intends to. As a consequence, it is my understanding that, later in the proceedings, Luna felt the context you had set for your discussion, which included the participation of my dear student, Twilight Sparkle, whom I have known for most of her life, was appropriate to refer to her sick, suffering elder sister as "the Holy Cow" and enumerate the various physiological criteria for this title. Twilight finished this section red-faced and with her finest scowl. She looked like she was about to flip out and start yelling at her fellow theatre puppets. (This was not altogether a different scenario from the truth.) Fluttershy looked faint. "O-oh no," she vocalized. That was probably what everyone was thinking. Twilight, with steam blowing out her nose, finished reciting: So, in summary: I am sick as heck. I have no tea. I have no shower. I have no bathroom. I am a cow. Please be assured that Luna's role in these transgressions has been determined with lethal precision and I have already selected her sentence, to be carried out after I have recovered, so as not to interfere with her substitution in duties I am as yet unable to perform. You are in a lot of trouble, young ladies. I shall visit you in person when I am feeling better. If you are lucky, my sour mood may improve with my health. Your friend, ~Princess Celestia As Rainbow Dash made to take off, Twilight seized her with her magic without taking her eyes off of the paper. She tugged her down a little bit hard, causing the pegasus to squeak,. P.S. If I have to chase down a single one of you, all six of you will suffer. Badly. Rainbow Dash gasped and sat down. "H-hey, no fair! Using my friends as hostages?! That's... That's targeted directly at me! That's discrimination!" "Rainbow Dash, yer th' only poor dumb son-of-a-bitch here who was gonna run," Applejack said. "I'm a girl," Dash protested. "And if you jerks are candy bars, I'm a chocolate chip. She won't even need to chew!" "Okay, okay, calm down, everypony," Twilight said, mostly to herself. "We know one thing: We absolutely cannot run. It is impossible. The best we can do is follow her commands, and not even enter the bathroom at all today, and not make her any angrier, and hope she doesn't launch us directly into the sun as soon as she can get out of bed for anything other than going to the bathroom." "U-um," Fluttershy raised a wing. "To the whatever she has to use!!" Twilight corrected herself. Shining Armor stepped off the airship and into the familiar streets of Canterlot. He'd been so concerned with his wife's relapse into ship addiction and the possible effect on their daughter, he almost failed to notice when Twily missed a week. His sister wrote him every week, even if she had nothing to say. He'd insisted on it so that he would notice quickly if something happened to her. He'd rather Twilight have a paranoid brother than Shining have a sister held hostage by some weird cannibalistic jungle tribe. Well, something must have happened, and her last known location was Canterlot, Woona T -- uh, the Lunar Spire. Cadance had shamefully shown him all her charts and graphs. She'd thrown them away, tearfully promising to improve herself for good this time, and he told her he was trusting her to be alone with Flurry for a while. It was hard not to worry about her. At her lowest, when she was a teenager, she'd even shipped him with... He didn't even want to think about that right now. He smoothly wound through the city, ignoring the mares swooning over him on every corner. Ten or more years ago he might have thrown a few sexy looks around... He was married now, and the list of rules and prohibitions for that was just as strict as the Royal Guard. He was also just as dedicated to them. Besides, most Canterlot mares were 50% recycled plastic. Cadance was petite, but she was real. No additives. And she was cuddly as hecc. All that walking around the frozen north with nigh-unbreathable air did wonders for his already-robust constitution, so he quickly and easily reached the castle with breath to spare. It was high noon. Strange... It was high noon when he departed from the Crystal Empire, too, he was sure. He was saluted as he neared the castle, and easily secured clearance to investigate the Lunar Spire. No dice; the maids had been in there, any evidence was wiped clean days ago. Questioning them, he learned the last pony to be seen with them was Princess Luna, but... she wouldn't be awake at noon, would she? "Shining Armor..." came a sleepy voice, and he turned. The Princess of the Night was there, wearing an adorable set of pajamas spotted black-and-white to look like a cow. It stopped at the neck. She bore a headband with cute little horns coming off just behind her ears (in addition to her tiara.) She looked... stressed. Yeah, that was the Princessly Correct word right now. "We were expecting you." She yawned. A few more hairs twong!'d out of alignment. He hoped the constellations in the sky weren't melting like the ones in her mane right now. He bowed. "... Princess." He rose. "Are... you okay?" "Do We bucking look okay, Captain? For 72 hours, the entirety of which We have donned this, it has been either midnight or noon. We have no idea what time it actually is or when anything is supposed to happen. Our sleep schedule is a wreck." Great, she was grumpy. "Were you the last pony to speak to Twilight?" It took her a few seconds to respond. "Twilight Sparkle? Nay," she shook her head several more times after speaking, then nodded off, mumbled incoherently, jumped up with a start, and squinted at him. "Twilight Sparkle? Nay. Go to the Solar Court at once." She fell asleep standing up, mooing quietly, and even then her magic shoved him in the right direction, so he followed her directions and set off at a trot. He hadn't gone ten steps when he saw Miss Fluttershy come around the corner. He would have called out to her immediately, if she was not wearing a pinafore and a lacy headpiece, her hair done up in twintails of all things, and balancing a tray of tea on one wing. Those marriage vows he took so seriously all the way over here started to say, "Hey, man, loosen up a little." She gasped and jumped a bit when she saw him, but expertly swerved her tray to avoid spilling. She looked both ways, then with her other wing motioned to follow, her beautiful face ashamed. He tugged at his collar and walked beside her. She smelled like sunshine. He did not wish to walk behind this particular mare in this particular outfit. Especially with how well she handled that tray. Mama mia, as Cadance would say. She went straight to the Solar Court and was allowed entry. He entered behind her with no confrontation. Princess Celestia was regally lounging on... was that one of Miss Rarity's futons? It was definitely not her throne. That had been clumsily tossed to a corner of the room. The futon was a better fit for her, erm, size, anyway. On either side of her, Miss Rainbow Dash and Miss Applejack were fanning her with giant leaves. They were wearing very indecent golden swirls that might be called clothing by a less pragmatic pony than Shining Armor. He found his attention drawn to their ahrrhrr far more than it ever would if they had simply been naked. Truth be told, he found it rather unsettling... He wasn't into the whole degradation thing, and he rather respected these ladies. They were all mares he could get behind. Wait, no, that was not the proper thought for that sentiment. Miss Rarity, who thankfully wore a copy of Miss Fluttershy's outfit, was kneeling before the throne, polishing the golden shoes. The smell of sunshine dramatically intensified. It burned a little. Miss Fluttershy stopped at the stairs to the dais and elegantly bowed, tray still perfectly balanced. Celestia took the tray from her and waved her away with a wing. "Grapes," she said in a monotone, and Shining's eyes bugged out as Miss Pinkie Pie shyly crept out from behind the futon, her hair worn long and flat today, wearing (by a loose meaning of the verb) the same as the leaf-bearers, to hoof-feed the Princess grapes in between her sips of tea. This of course required Miss Rarity to move. It also caused Shining to smell blood. Miss Fluttershy turned to power-walk past Shining and he put a hoof out to stop her. She jumped back a step and stared at him, wide-eyed and confused. Just then, the door opened again, and as he turned his head, his sister walked in. The color drained from his face when he saw she was also wearing a maid uniform, but hers was more ornate. She had a huge ribbon tied around the back, and a smaller one on her head in place of lace. This was unfathomably uncomfortable for Shining. "Princess," Twilight said, bowing so low her nose nearly touched the floor, no more than a few steps in the door. She was holding a toothbrush in her magical aura. "I've completed your commandments. Your room is fully organized. Your washroom is spotless and pristine. Your towels are laundered and fluffy --" Princess Luna, exhausted as she was, leapt back clumsily into the air as what seemed to be a very long, multi-colored parade dragon, who smelled kind of sexy, zipped through the air past her. It belched fire and wielded something enormous and velvet, throwing both in her direction. Luna's headband flew into the air. The velvet thing landed. Luna fell on it. Her headband fell perfectly into place on her head. Then all the fire fell on her. "Ouch," she said. "You asshole! I'm living the dreeaam..." the dragon's cry faded around the corner. Strange. The dragon sounded just like Twilight Sparkle. She heard the distinct wing flaps of her sister, as well as the distinct yelling of said sister. "Captain Shining Armor! Get back here with my indentured servants this instant! That is a direct order!" The yelling and wing flaps faded around the same corner. She was going pretty fast for such a big gal. The dragon was faster, though, Luna was pretty sure. Luna sleepily considered the velvety thing she had landed on. She eventually decided it was comfy. Some sort of couch. This was a nice place to sleep. Yes, it was law now: the nap would last forever. "Ouch," she said again. Oh, right, she was currently engulfed in fire. Soft, snuggly fire. Her nostrils burned with the acrid curse of the sun. Whatever. She'd slept through worse. She heard someone gasp. Riverrose. "Y-Your Majesty! Where did this futon come from? What are all of these... clothes???" She said it like she wasn't sure what it was. All Luna knew was that they burned and it would be nice if someone else made them go away. She heard the girl sniff a few times and then start coughing. Luna agreed completely. "Ouch. Wake me when all this is over," Luna mumbled, and returned to quietly mooing in her sleep. Riverrose sighed and began to move the discarded clothing from atop Luna to atop her cart.