//------------------------------// // Ch. 9 :: The Vice // Story: Truth or Dare // by Tirimsil //------------------------------// "Princess, it should now be your turn to ask for Fluttershy," Twilight reminded cheerily. Oh! She'd forgotten she would be required to do this. "I pray I will not be required to trespass too harshly..." Luna worried, pulling the cards over. She also hoped that she wouldn't be quite so vulnerable as when, er, she was the one answering. Although, that did set the stage for her to begin socializing more directly and intimately with the Bearers, and their conversations had been very fulfilling. She just hoped that continued steps in their relationship would not require her to admit anything else unsuitable for Canterlot's headlines. It may seem strange that Luna was so uncertain about all of this, as Luna had, of course, been privy to the dreams of the ponies here, and this ought to have given her a "hoof in the door" to understand them. However, it was actually quite rare for a pony's dreams to explain much of their personality rather than to reflect their immediate mental state or near future. Furthermore, she had learned that ponies often found her presence to be uncanny and invasive. The effect was worse if they did not remember meeting her in the dream after they awakened, as they often did not; for if she brought it up, then they began to panic over what she might have seen. So, contrary to what one may believe, Luna's dream-walking was overall an obstacle to her more mundane social life; she was bashful to speak to ponies in the waking world. "Oh, it won't be your fault, Princess," Fluttershy said. "I'll forgive you." She winked at her with a smile, and Luna relaxed. Fluttershy had been a wonderful friend, and each had gotten a chance to console the other. Luna trusted that Fluttershy would forgive her for whatever was on the card. If it was really that bad, everyone could simply dismiss it. It could hardly upset her as much as the clown incident with Pinkie Pie earlier, and she'd gotten over that within an hour. Fluttershy was a far stronger creature than she gave herself credit for. Luna once saw her tear a dream-clown's throat out with her teeth, blood-red candy and streamers spilling everywhere like a nightmare pinata. But Luna would still hate to have to speak crude words to her. What might the card say? If it was "What part of your body are you most ashamed of" or something exploitable like that, she could not bear to ask her. Even if Fluttershy did not have a sensitive answer, the resulting conversation would certainly be ignoble, undeserving of Fluttershy's innocence and grace. "I am sure I know the answer to this, but..." Luna coughed. "Truth or Dare, Miss Fluttershy?" "Oh, Truth, please!" Fluttershy asked politely. "I hope it won't be too embarrassing..." Luna was sure she would choose that; the dares seen so far were not palatable to her. Luna anxiously drew a card and smiled while reading. It looked harmless enough; she'd seen nothing in her dreams to suggest otherwise. "Ah, this should be rather tame! Alright." She set the card down and looked warmly at Fluttershy. "What is your most secret, guilty hobby?" To Luna's horror, Fluttershy's wings drooped, and she blinked, looking both ways uncomfortably. It was not such a dramatic reaction as in some of the previous rounds, but Luna was worried the game had indeed gone somewhere it should not have. Luna thought back to Applejack's Truth and hoped this round would not be so... disagreeable. "I'd like ta hear this," Applejack said, and looked at Fluttershy intently - but she must have seen what was wrong, because her gaze softened and she tilted her head. "O-oh, um," Fluttershy stammered. "It's... Hmm. That is to say, I, erm..." Her cheeks were rapidly turning pink, but that was no surprise. Most of the attendants tonight had spent more time blushing than not, including Luna herself. "Fluttershy, dear," Rarity crooned hesitantly, "Might it be related to that highly conspicuous shed you have on your property?" "Th' one I built fer ya?" Applejack asked incredulously. Fluttershy looked at her and slowly nodded. "No way!" Rainbow Dash cried. "Don't tell me you've got corpses in there." Sometimes, Luna could not believe the nerve of the Hero of Loyalty. "Rainbow Dash!" Rarity scolded. "What planet are you from, really!" "Wait, Applejack built that shed?" Twilight asked. "With the pink roof and the hearts?" "Well I didn't paint th' damn thing..." Applejack rolled her eyes, and Twilight closed her mouth sheepishly. "Ain't no corpses gonna fit in there," the carpenter continued. "Heck, I reckon th' Princess couldn't even stretch 'er wings out in that lil' study." "So you couldn't fit the Princess's corpse in there," Dash clarified. "You could try," Luna said ominously, and they were quite done talking about that. One of the few tricks she had successfully learned from her sister: make them the ones who have to bluntly say it. "Rainbow Dash, really," Rarity laughed nervously, "At the worst, it's where she keeps animals she's yet to bury..." "WHICH ARE CORPSES." Rainbow Dash repeated. "Why're you so set on these dangum corpses!" Applejack lamented. "Okay fine, let's try Tirek-worship," Dash grumped. "I mean, as long as you don't summon the guy, you've got enough room to pray to just about anybody." "You could summon Cozy Glow," Pinkie added brightly. Fluttershy sniffled, and everyone immediately turned their attention to her. "They're not corpses," she said very firmly, but sighed. "And I don't worship mean people. But you would still think I was a... a... a sicko!" She put her head on her hooves and started to quietly cry. "Fluttershy, you chew food and spit it into birds' mouths," Rainbow Dash said. Rarity closed her eyes and wobbled on the spot. "Ya can imitate th' call of every animal in Equestria, includin' ones what ain't got mouths," Applejack continued. "You teach tigers to eat vegan food," Pinkie scowled. "Is it really murder to use cream and butter?! Momma's gotta keep meat on her bones!" "Might I point out that alongside this vegan thing you also feed fish to some of your animals!" Twilight added. "The point is, you can't get any weirder for us," Rainbow Dash summarized. "There ain't nothing y'all could do in that tiny-ass shed that could be all that bad," Applejack consoled. Fluttershy jumped up adamantly, tears streaming down her face. "IT'S... MY... SHIPPING SHED!!!" she all-but-roared, leading everyone to lean back as she huffed and puffed. "I ship my friends! Is that what you wanted to hear?! No corpses! No Tirek! No! Cozy! Glow!" She curled back up on her pillow, sniffling, and no one said anything for several seconds. "Shit, that's a lot better than corpses," Rainbow Dash surmised. "GACK!" Applejack had bopped her on the back of the head and sent her back into the pillow maze. "Rarijack is the cutest," Fluttershy bemoaned, "I was so happy it caught on." Rarity gave a scandalized gasp. "YOU STARTED IT?!" she and Applejack cried. "Th-th-they argue like a m-m-married couple..." Fluttershy sobbed. "We! Do! Not!" Rarity gasped, swelling like a frog. "The hell we don't, Rarity! We're fightin' every damn day of the --" Applejack's eyes widened. "Aw shucks." "WE! ABSOLUUUUTELY..!" Rarity blinked and put her hoof to her mouth. "Oh, I see." She finished calmly. Twilight had come over to cuddle Fluttershy, under the recently added rule. "Oh sweetheart," she cooed gently, "There's nothing wrong with shipping your friends." Every single other person looked dead at her. "H-h-huh?" Fluttershy asked, utterly confused. "I mean, I do it! I'm... fond of Appledash, myself," Twilight continued shyly, crossing her forelegs and looking away. Rainbow Dash's mouth fell open. "You're fucking with us." Fluttershy perked and jumped up. "Appledash is a perfectly valid ship!!" "Oh, absolutely!! Rainbow Dash is tough on the outside, tender on the inside," Twilight began ranting. "She needs someone who can be gentle without being patronizing." Rainbow Dash and Applejack were looking back and forth at them as they talked, refusing to look at each other. "Oh my, yes!" Fluttershy beamed. "She needs someone who'll yank her back when she's out of control, but is also a good shoulder to cry on when she's falling apart..!" "Exactly!!" Twilight danced in place. "And most importantly: Rainbow Dash needs someone who honestly, sincerely thinks that she is super cute!!!" They both squeed together. "A-Applejack," Rainbow Dash called without looking at her, "Y-y-you don't think I'm... c-c-cute, do you?!" "Adorable, but yer not my type," Applejack assured her, also without looking. "I AM NOT CUTE!!" "Omigosh, do you know what I just thought of?!" Twilight cut in. "What is it??" Fluttershy asked eagerly. "What if Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity had a delicate love triangle!" "Oh my!! They were all paired up but they each thought their other relationships were a secret?! That's so risque..." Fluttershy giggled, hiding her face. Rarity stabbed a hoof through the air in Fluttershy's general direction. "You started a cult and the least you could do is let me have an open ménage à trois --" "WAIT A MINUTE." Pinkie Pie cut in. She narrowed her eyes. "Who's my waifu?" Fluttershy started to mumble, and Pinkie cut her off. "YADADADADA, nope! Applejack and Rarity already did that! I... demand... ANSWERS!!!" she shrieked. Fluttershy sighed. "I don't know if Twilight will agree, but... Pokey Pierce. 100%." Twilight nodded immediately, her eyes closed to make it look more official than it was. Pinkie stared agape. "What?! That absolute jerk who does nothing but pop my balloons?!" Fluttershy pulled her shoulders up, turning her head with a blush. "Yes, it's very euphemistic... I-it was either him or... Cheese Sandwich." Pinkie nearly pulled her face off in horror. "Ch... Cheese... Chchfpfppfppfp, Cheese Sandwich is old enough to be my dad!!!" "I know~" Fluttershy giggled in the creepiest possible way. "But I think you should give Pokey a chance. He's a very nice colt when you get to know him. You just... need to keep everything fragile below or above his head height." "Don't even try ta kiss him," Applejack said, and Pinkie blushed with whistling steam from the ears. Cadance gently pulled Flurry Heart out of the crib and set her down on a soft bench. The youngster looked around the room, bedazzled by all the stuff painted on the walls. Stars, rainbows, animals, hearts, all dancing on a sea of cheap cyan wallpaper from the bargain section. The Crystal Empire wasn't rich. They were a desolate winterscape out in the boonies with little to offer Equestria but exotic diseases. The crystals and other natural resources had kinda already been there for eons, they were still working out the ownership details. "Okay, Flurry, repeat after momma," Cadance said, and she set down an easel and flipped the topmost card. "A is for..." "Abbadaa!" Flurry said, pointing both forehooves at the cute illustration of Applejack and Rainbow Dash kissing. "Yes, that's right! Appledash!" Cadance cheered, and flipped the card. "Okay, B is for..." "Bullseye!" Flurry yelled. Cadance laughed. "Bulk-Shy. Close enough!" She flipped the card. "C is for..." "Cryzalih!" Flurry babbled. "That's right! It's just Chrysalis. And why is it just Chrysalis, Flurry?" "Becuh see cah guu buh herseh!" "That's right! She can go buck herself." Cadance hugged and cradled her daughter. Then she set her back down, stepped back a few paces, and bumped into something. She gave a harsh gasp, spinning around and instinctively shielding her daughter. "Flurry's not in trouble," Shining Armor said, tapping a hoof. "She might be when she's 15, though." After scanning him to be sure, Cadance dropped the shield and looked very sheepish. "I, I can explain!!" She absolutely couldn't, actually. "Can you explain how you were ever a foal-sitter?" "I have one final question..." Rainbow Dash frowned. "Who do you two ship yourselves with?" The two froze, looking scandalized. "Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy wavered, "That is a question you don't ask." Twilight nodded. "The self-ship is a secret that none can know," she mumbled, looking away. "It is not shared even with other shippers. What if the two of you are shipped with the same person? Wars have been started for less." "You can't even tell the person you're shipping yourself with!" Fluttershy warned. "What! You mean you never confess your feelings?" Rainbow Dash reworded. "W-well, I guess you could say it that way..." Twilight relented. "So basically, you two set e'rybody else up fer a date, but y'all stay single ferever even if yer in love," Applejack summarized. They lowered their heads in shame and nodded. "That's stupid," Rainbow Dash decided. "And another thang: Do I git a single male companion in this bizarre land o' charts 'n' kinky romps?" Applejack queried. Fluttershy and Twilight both opened their mouths. "If either if you names one fuckin' stallion I'm related ta yer gettin' a whuppin' boy howdy." Luna gave a dainty cough. Everyone stopped, turned, and stared at her. She looked stoically down her nose at them as their eyes darted back and forth. "Well?" She asked simply. "... I... I-I would like to end my turn now," Fluttershy said, trembling in a cold sweat. Luna understood. She'd been outraged at first, but gradually grew accustomed to the dreams ponies had about her - flattered, even. Still, she was never going to tell Fluttershy she was the only pony to ever mistake the real Luna for the dream one.