Nightmares were nothing new. Rainbow had dealt with them off and on for long periods of time before. That didn’t make them any less unpleasant, though, and this one had been particularly exhausting to experience. Luckily, the hot water from the library’s shower did wonders to calm her down and help pull her head together.
‘I’m not abandoning anypony,’ she told herself firmly as she stepped out of the shower. ‘I was taken away, but I’m going back. I won’t leave my friends hanging, and I won’t replace my family. Period.’
Taking one last look at herself in the mirror to confirm she was presentable, Rainbow did up her ponytail and made way for the dining room. Spike had talked about breakfast, and if this one was anything at all like her own, then the food was sure to help her mood.
As she came out of the hall and emerged into the living room, she briefly paused. Queen Chrysalis was in the back of the room, staring back at her with a cold but unreadable expression. Rainbow blinked and tilted her head. “...What?”
“...You are very loud.”
Rainbow snorted. “I mean… I’m Rainbow Dash. Kinda part of the package, isn’t it?” she rebuffed, trying not to think about why she was loud this time.
Chrysalis regarded her for a moment, but then gave a snort of amusement. “Yes, I suppose you are. Even with your different qualities, the typical annoyances my daughter finds so oddly endearing are still there. I suppose that is comforting in a way.”
“Always the charmer, eh Chryssie?” came the voice of a certain baby dragon. He poked his head out of the kitchen with a cheeky grin.
“Spike,” Chrysalis addressed with a glare. “Do not call me that. The pink one is annoying enough with it.”
“Chryssie, huh?” Rainbow parroted, a tiny smirk forming on her lips. “Ah. Nice. Ammo.”
“Oh, by the hives…” Chrysalis replied with an oddly childish pout. But then, in a Chrysalis-like fashion more familiar to the pegasus, she gave an evil grin. “Oh, but two can play at that game… Dashie.”
“My Twilight calls me that all the time,” Rainbow deflected effortlessly. “I like it.”
“Whatever you say… Dashie Washie.”
Rainbow stared at her for a second. “Y’know, we can do this all day, Chryssi-whissy.”
The Changeling Queen’s snout wrinkled. “Maybe we can, Dashie Whishie Wash-”
“Uh…” Twilight stared at the two from her place on the staircase, her hoof frozen mid-step as her mind blanked. “Wha…?”
Chrysalis paled. “...The hive must never know of this.”
Rainbow turned to Twilight. “Tell them everything!” she stated emphatically. “As a Princess of Equestria, that is an order!”
“Do that and you are so grounded.”
Twilight blinked. “...I have many confused feelings about all of this.”
“You and me both,” Spike replied, scratching the side of his head. “But, uh… well, food’s ready?”
“Oh, good,” Chrysalis said oddly quickly, standing upright and striding with very long steps into the dining room. “Something to stuff in that mare’s mouth. Perhaps she can choke on it.”
“Ha. Worth it,” Rainbow said.
“Trying to act tough doesn’t work so much after the cutesy talk, ya know,” Spike pointed out as Chrysalis strode past him.
“And the drake while we’re at it.”
“Hey!”
Twilight’s head slowly started to tilt sideways, her mind rebooting from its base software as she tried to process what just happened.
“That was… interesting.”
“I think she’s starting to like you,” Spike remarked, walking up to Rainbow and elbowing her. “She’s letting her guard down. She doesn’t do that around our Rainbow unless Twilight is around… and she forgets she’s there.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Meh. I’m kinda hesitant to admit it, but she might be growing on me a bit, too. Helps that I know she’s not the one that hurt me,” she said before turning to look at Twilight.
“Maybe it's the added severity? Frankly, I think you’re better at verbal jousting than my Rainbow…” Twilight noted analytically, wondering if she should start a mind chart on a blackboard. “She would probably have become indignant and quit out at the first Dashie, but your response shows an eighty-nine-point-nine percent increase in your-”
“Uh, Twilight?” Spike interrupted. “How about no?”
“Hey! I like math!”
“We know,” Rainbow noted.
“And what’s wrong with that?”
“Aside from you being a complete killjoy?” Spike shot back. “Way to kill the fun.”
“Maths IS fun!”
“Yeah, Spike, I dunno,” Rainbow countered with a sideways glance at Spike. “It can be fun sometimes.”
Spike stopped, looking at Rainbow Dash like the imposter she was. “...You aren’t Rainbow Dash. Either of them. What have you done with her and who the heck are you?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I never said it was fun when I did it. It’s fun when Twilight starts rambling on and on because we can tease her about it.”
Twilight pouted, poking Rainbow with a hoof indignantly.
“...Math is still fun.”
Rainbow gave a sage nod. “If you say so, book bug.”
Twilight went to retort, but then stopped. She halted as she tried to process Rainbow’s sudden jovial attitude, especially considering her perceived meaning for now answering earlier…
Twilight suddenly found herself confused in a rather less fun way.
“...You’re in a good mood all of a sudden. Also, book bug?”
Rainbow paused, her good mood flickering just slightly. She shook her head slightly. “Er, yeah. Nightmares are nothing new for me, Twilight. I had a lot of them in rapid succession not all that long ago. I’m getting used to picking myself up from them,” she explained quietly before turning and poking Twilight on the nose. “As for book bug… try and tell me I’m wrong.”
“I, but, I… Hrmg…” Twilight grumbled to herself as she started to walk off, following her equally indignant mother into the kitchen.
“Wow, I think you just defeated two royal changelings at a verbal game of chess,” Spike complimented. “Care to teach me your ways?”
“How long have you lived with them?” Rainbow asked.
“I mean, Twilight? All my life. She hatched me, remember? As for Chrysalis… Eh, give or take a year.”
Rainbow nodded with a hum. “I see. Well, if you’ve lived with them for this long but can’t out-talk them, then I am afraid there is nothing I can teach you. It’s all about the experience,” she said before pausing and tapping a hoof to her chin. “Although, I was raised by Celestia since I was eight… so I had a lot of practice from her, too…”
“Ah. That explains everything,” Spike realized. “The Princess is pretty good at the art of verbal beatdowns.”
“Tell me about it,” Rainbow replied with a slow shake of her head. “You do not want to be on the receiving end of a mama Celestia scolding. The number of counters she just has at the ready to shut down any arguments you might have is aggravating. It’s like arguing with an unbreakable wall. You’re not gonna get anywhere, and you’re just gonna hurt yourself trying.”
“Tell me about it,” he remarked with a measure of nostalgia, before then looking a little more uncertain as he turned to face Rainbow. “Uh… Rainbow?”
“Uh-huh?”
He tapped his claws together in a timid, child-like manner. “Where you come from… You hang around with Twilight a bunch, so… we’re friends too?”
Rainbow’s eyes widened for a second before a small smile graced her lips. She reached down and ruffled the spikes on his head. “Sure are. Best dragon I ever met,” she said simply. “And judging from what I’ve seen here, you’re just as good. Hay, probably better if you can put up with Chrysalis all day.”
He blushed. “Aw, shucks. You’re pretty neat too! Thanks!”
“Don’t mention it.”
“So… is your Rarity just as cool?”
Rainbow’s expression deadpanned. “Oh, that’s a thing here, too, huh?”
Spike’s blush grew. “U-uh, well, uh…”
Rainbow shook her head with a slow chuckle. “Ha. Nevermind, Not my business,” she said before sauntering past. “In answer to your question, though… Yeah, I think so.”
“That’s… I mean… He coughed. “So, pancakes? I got syrup!”
“I’m down.”
“So… what’s the deal with that weird syrup stuff you’re eating?” Rainbow Dash asked both changelings as they contentedly ate their meals. Like Spike said, everypony had been given a stack of pancakes to sate their morning appetites. While Rainbow and Spike had settled for syrup fresh from the bottle, though, Twilight and Chrysalis had dumped a gratuitous amount of green something onto theirs.
Seeing Queen Chrysalis eating pancakes casually around a table was… disconcerting, to say the least, but at least she seemed to be enjoying them.
So did Twilight, for that matter. Very much.
“Hm, whawaz dat?” Twilight asked mid-bite. “Um, ahem. Sorry. I meant to say: What was that?”
Rainbow pointed. “The green stuff. What is it? Is it, like, changeling syrup or something?”
Sure enough, their pancakes were dredged in a green substance that, on occasion, seemed to glow a bright pink that almost seemed to gravitate towards them. Which was… odd.
“Oh, this?” Twilight looked down at her meal, preparing herself for her usual method of explanations. “This is a-”
“Let me handle this one,” Chrysalis beamed.
“But-”
“So, imposter Rainbow Dash from an upstart dimension,” Chrysalis said with a gleeful predatory smirk. “This is one of our… ‘exports.' Syrup is one of its many forms. A smoothie, also. Filled with all the love any creature could ever need. Here, try it…”
“Oh, yes. Please do,” Spike said, leaning forward in anticipation.
“I suddenly feel like I’m missing out on an inside joke, and that’s not fair, and I don’t like it,” Rainbow said slowly, eyeing the green syrup with rapidly-mounting disdain. Different Chrysalis or not, there was something about the way she was looking at her that set off the red flags in Rainbow’s brain.
Twilight shook her head. “Well, you see-”
“Yes, you see…” Spike began.
“GAH!”
“...it’s really not all that bad. Ignore the Queen, I mean, she’s always looking like she’s about to do something bad to somepony.”
“...I will not argue,” the Queen in question conceded. “However misguided a judgment it may be.”
“See, that doesn’t make me feel any better,” Rainbow pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
Spike wiggled his eyebrow-equivalents. “And yet, I’m also saying you should totally have a bite. You’ve already done it, actually! Other Rainbow did.”
Rainbow slowly raised a brow. “...And did she like it?”
“She loved it,” Chrysalis replied slowly.
“Actually-” Twilight opened her mouth to speak, only for Spike to stuff some pancake into it. With her mouth occupied, the Princess could only scream in frustration through a mouthful of syrupy goodness.
“See? Twilight likes it! What better seal of approval?”
Twilight gave him a death glare. Those royal changeling eyes and bared fangs would have made it quite intimidating… if the latter weren’t chock full of pancake still.
Rainbow stared at them all for a second, scepticism and morbid curiosity raging a long, bloody war in her mind. On the one hoof, there was the fact that she was obviously on the receiving end of some kind of malicious ploy, and the fact that Chrysalis was the main culprit sent a chill down her spine.
On the other hoof, she knew that this Chrysalis was not likely to hurt her. At least not in any physical or lasting way…
“Okay, fine, jeesh,” she eventually relented, her expression going flat. “I’ll try your goopy green syrup.”
Twilight stared at her as if pleading with her not to. Everyone else at the table grinned.
‘Oh boy.’
Without a word, Chrysalis levitated over a bite-sized piece of her stack, making sure to dip it in the green stuff on the way and really slathering it on there. Rainbow’s nose wrinkled when the smell reached her nose. Not unpleasant, but decidedly unusual.
Taking the fork in her hoof, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth.
And then she noticed Pinkie Pie.
“Hiya!” The pink mare in question greeted loud enough to make everypony else at the table jump in surprise.
“PINKIE!” Spike shouted as he fell back. “How did you get there?!”
Pinkie Pie looked down at her position on top of the dining table before smiling back at the dragon innocently. “Haha, please.”
Rainbow set down her fork with a knowing smirk. “Huh. Guess my other self was right. You are a universal constant, Pinkie,” she said simply.
“Universal constant?” Spike parroted. “Neeeerd.”
“I live with Twilight. This stuff rubbed off on me. I’m not ashamed of it. Besides, other me said it first.”
“Really? Oh-ho, speaking of ammo…”
“Ammo? Oh! Like ammo for my party cannon? Oh! Oh! I have one of those right here! Come on, I need to show you, Other Rainbow Dash I’ve never met until this very moment!” Pinkie splurged excitedly, reaching behind her and pulling her party cannon into sight.
Chrysalis leaned comically into sight behind her, her muzzle scrunched up in annoyance and disappointment that her little practical joke had been so masterfully and nonsensically foiled. “Pink one. Why are you on the dining room table?” she demanded simply.
“Because my pinkie sense got all weird and wibbly and I thought—GASP—there is something weird here, and then I got told by Rainbow that there was a Double Rainbow and at first I thought she’d made a double rainbow, but then WOW she really meant TWO RAINBOWS, which is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and I knew I had to throw a party, so I made all the plans and then came here to meet you and I thought TABLE and now I’m on the table!”
Twilight pulled the pancakes from her mouth and affixed Pinkie with a bewildered look. “...What?”
“Seems legit,” Rainbow said, unphased.
Chrysalis groaned, burying her face in her hooves.
“Oh! Nice to meetcha double RD!” Pinkie squeed as she turned to face said pegasus. “I’m here to-”
“Throw me the usual ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party’?”
“Oh, you’re good!” Pinkie replied happily. “Are you psychic? Oh! Is other-me also partylicious?”
Rainbow snorted in amusement. “Yeah, she is. First time I met her she broke the laws of physics by taking me and my Twilight to Sweet Apple Acres in about two seconds.”
Pinkie groaned. “Aaawww, why did you have to remind me about the laws?! Now I have to follow them! For like, five minutes!”
Twilight perked up. “Wait, what?”
“The ammo pile increases,” Spike mumbled under his breath.
Pinkie’s defeated look faded away rather quickly, turning into a playful smirk. “Lucky me, my party canon isn’t bound like I am! By the way, you are a teensy bit wrong about the ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party’.”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow, leaning back. “Hold on, what-”
There was an explosion of confetti and streamers from the barrel of the canon, all of which ended up right on Rainbow’s face. Her ears rang with the familiar rush of wind and rustling paper. In a matter of seconds, she was buried in the pile.
“Ooowww,” she moaned in discomfort, nursing a new headache before shoving herself up and poking her head out of the top of the mound.
To her surprise, the library was now fully decorated for a party. Suspended from the roof to shine over the room was a large banner that read ‘Welcome to the Universe, Rainbow Dash!’ in big, bold, prismatic letters that stood out wonderfully against the cyan background.
Rainbow needed a moment to take it all in. All of the typical things for a Pinkie party were present: a gramophone playing lively music, various games scattered around the edges of the room, a twister mat set up in the centre, and plenty of folding tables set up with cupcakes, cakes, cookies, doughnuts, and other assorted pastries.
Chrysalis poked her head out of the pile from Rainbow’s left, a flat look on her face. “Daughter, we were not fast enough to escape the storm,” she droned out in defeat.
Twilight came up from the right. “Oh, you hush. It’s fun.”
“It sure is!” Pinkie declared from the other end of the room, grinning widely at them. “Guests should be showing up any second now! But first…”
Rainbow hauled herself out of the pile of confetti as Pinkie approached, giving her head a quick shake to throw off a few streamers hanging over her eyes. “Ugh. But first what?”
Pinkie Pie paused, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before giving some sudden random spasms.
“That! Oh! Hm, what did that one mean…”
The front door swung open. “Hey, Pinks,” a familiar raspy voice called out. “So, how’s our Pinkie match up to yours?”
“Ah, ‘bout the same,” Rainbow Dash replied to her native counterpart.
“Wonderful. As if it couldn’t get worse,” Chrysalis deadpanned.
“Grouchy as ever, huh? Neat,” the newly arrived Rainbow muttered with a noncommittal shrug. “So, Twilight, she had that smoothie or something yet?”
Pinkie Pie lit up like a lightbulb. “Oh yeah! That’s my Pinkie Sense! You haven’t eaten your pancake yet!”
And then, before any protest could be made, a pink hoof holding a green syrup-laden pancake was thrust into Rainbow Dash’s maw.
To describe the flavour as bad would be like saying having her ribs broken was mildly annoying; an understatement of incredible magnitude.
Her indignant noises of disgust could be heard outside the library, accompanied by Chrysalis’ victorious laughter combined with that of Spike and the other Rainbow Dash. Twilight, meanwhile, just facehooved as Pinkie sat with her usual happy grin.
Pinkie Pie. The universal constant. When she arrives…
This was gonna be a long party.