//------------------------------//
// Ghost Of A Battle 
// Story: The Olden World 
// by Czar_Yoshi 
//------------------------------//

A wall approached out of the flat, ash-covered plain, with a hole blown through it that looked painfully familiar. Starlight and Chrysalis alike winced as they stepped through the Grandbell arena wall that had been demolished during their fight, phantoms flickering left and right amid flashes of light as memories did battle.

"Hmm." Chrysalis looked about with pointed disinterest, her own shadow engaging with someone else's memories. Starlight flew up, feeling more like a ghost than the ponies around her, drifting past the audience and watching as they fled from or were transfixed by a fight they had never come to watch. With a shriek, a marked sarosian vanished into thin air, her mark floating close enough to Starlight that she could reach out a hoof and touch it. It floated through her with a tingle of warmth, and she briefly had a Nightmare Module-esque sensation that she was holding something beyond value.

"I've only seen this once or twice," Chrysalis grumbled, flying up behind her.

Starlight folded her ears without looking back. "Do you not like it because you know you were wrong, or because you didn't win?"

"Wrong to do what I did?" Chrysalis huffed. "You would do no less in the same position as me. Wrong inherently? Twisted into a creature I despise? You're dimmer than I give you credit for if you even need to ask."

Starlight flicked her tail. "You keep ignoring my questions."

"I'm not obligated to answer." Chrysalis tossed her mane, strolling to the edge of a partially-intact balcony as ash drifted onto the battle below. "But I dislike everything I do, in case you didn't notice."

"Have you ever done anything you were proud of?" Starlight stepped up beside her, staring out over the railing at the battle with utter detachment. Her friends dying, her Nightmare Modules, their last day in the empire going catastrophically wrong... all of it felt like an axe had been taken to her own memories, dividing it into then and now. "Do you ever feel like you used to be a different pony?"

Chrysalis grumbled.

"You saved Valey," Starlight pointed out. "In Izvaldi. From a problem you made, but still. And I know you feel strongly about her, because you change the subject every time I bring her up."

"She did me a favor. I repaid it. That is all."

Starlight squinted at her. "And what was that favor?"

Chrysalis groaned. "She was exactly like you and got stubborn and annoying and in my face about not leaving me alone, and..." She trailed off into a mumble.

Starlight lifted an ear, leaning closer. "What?"

"I said, she mmrmmphg. Just a little!"

"What?" Starlight stared earnestly at her.

Chrysalis hit her head against the railing. "She grew on me. I didn't want to be pitied. I hate pity. It's false, one-sided love that's as shallow as an attention span. And she was stubbornly nice to me for longer than anyone would have put up with if they didn't mean it. Are you happy?"

"You know it's okay to do things to make ponies like you, right?" Starlight's ears fell. "Not forcing them to or killing them if they don't, but a lot of ponies like being nice to ones who are nice to them. You don't have to just be bad to everyone to fish for ones who really mean it."

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Easy for you to say. We've already gone over this. Yes, I regret that I had to do what I did. Do you remember what else is regret? Stanza. I am regret. Perhaps I could have had the tenacity if I was only looking out for myself, but the voices in my ears had needs of their own. Cheap love would never have done."

Starlight bared her pointed teeth. "That doesn't mean anything! I'm sorry you have Stanza, but that just means you need more friends, too."

"Case in point." Chrysalis pointed down at the field, where her larger queen self was siphoning thousands of souls.

Starlight growled. "...Fine. You know what? Fine. But Stanza wasn't the only thing you had to take care of, you know." She suddenly looked at the ground. "How were you planning to raise your foal? With your life the way it was..."

That was the question that finally broke Chrysalis's resolve. She slumped against the railing, resting on her chin and staring morosely forward. "You got me."

Starlight tilted her head.

"...I had no plan," Chrysalis admitted, her posture defeated. "I hoped I just could. I cared about my child in ways you couldn't comprehend. Everything I had been through... I was willing to do anything to spare them the same, no matter what it meant putting myself through. Chauncey made me desperate. Most days, I thought there was nothing to be done, and floated drowning in despair. Others, I felt like I would find a way out of sheer force of will, no inhibitions, willing to take measures more extreme than should have been possible. The day I destroyed the capitol was one of those days."

"I know how you feel," Starlight murmured back, scooting slightly closer. "That's how I feel every time I have to fight to defend my friends. I almost killed myself in Ironridge to save the whole city. Maybe I did, and got brought back. But I'd do anything to keep them safe."

Chrysalis raised a jaded eyebrow. "Why? Because you believe if you somehow spend that much effort on others, there's a law of fairness in the universe that will make them spend it back on you?"

Now it was Starlight's turn to feel punched. "But...!" She wanted to protest that there was, but what evidence could she turn to? "...I believe there is," she finally grumbled. "And I'm not giving up, no matter how many years it takes me. The only reason my friends don't already is because they physically can't. Because I'm stronger than all of them."

Chrysalis bitterly scoffed. "You can't solve problems with wisdom and mental fortitude so you turn to strength. I told you we were the same." She slumped further. "Working out. Knowing magical secrets. The basis of Mistvale arts. My soul is mutilated and diseased, but I always hoped I could use strength to compensate. And now look at us. Even Garsheeva didn't stand a chance in that fight, but you matched me blow for blow. The two strongest titans on the continent clash, and we're both absolutely miserable."

Starlight wilted. "I'm not miserable. It's just so hard for me to find what will make me happy."

"Ever think you're looking in the wrong place?"

"Maybe." Starlight swallowed. "But I'm not. I believe in my friends."

Chrysalis halfheartedly rolled her eyes. "You're just afraid to face the truth that there's nothing you can do. Caves and shrines or not, anything that can use our powers to imprison that many brands is a monster. They're called negative emotions for a reason."

"I think I see why Valey gave you so many chances," Starlight mumbled. "You probably reminded her of herself. She was terrified of being a monster."

Chrysalis sighed. "If you say so."

"...Your foal," Starlight said after a while. "You'd have done anything for their sake, you said."

"Without question." Chrysalis slightly straightened. "Unlike my lover, who was not even willing to believe they were ours."

"I never had that." Starlight looked at the railing, the battle below having restarted several times by now. "I wish I didn't have to be afraid for my friends all the time. I wish I wasn't the one who had to protect them, and didn't even have to worry about all the things that could go wrong."

"I wish I had others to worry about," Chrysalis replied. "You mentioned when Valey and I escaped together."

Starlight nodded.

"That was the first time I reunited with Stanza since it was created," Chrysalis continued. "I only borrowed my true power, and part of my leg paid the price. The wails and moans were infinitely louder in my head when I wore that crown, pleading for all the justice and light they had been denied in life, or else slain by in the first place. I wished it would lessen, but escaping for myself didn't help. What did quiet the voices was trying to get the others out... Her, and my unborn child."

Starlight folded her ears.

"I would have cared for them," Chrysalis whispered, looking out as the souls were stolen yet again. "At least, I would have been happier if I had. Or perhaps I wouldn't have. I was more concerned with my own needs and letting the rest of the world burn. When you dote on your friends, and save them from peril... do you earn any happiness at all?"

"Some," Starlight whispered. "But it's never enough at all."