Starlight followed Chrysalis through an empty plateau of falling ash, a layer of unbroken stone beneath the blanket that covered the ground. Arguing about which way to go was pointless: both of them had agreed the direction you actually took had no bearing on who you saw next.
"Have you ever ran into the same pony twice?" Starlight asked.
"Sometimes," Chrysalis grunted. "You're more likely to ones who have some relation to you. Not that I had many relations."
Starlight frowned, matching the other filly's pace. "But you said you haven't ran into any of the ponies you're actually looking for."
"Explain it yourself if you have a better idea how it works," Chrysalis growled, flicking her ears in annoyance. "I've seen what I've seen. Percival's other maids are here. Almost all of them have crossed my path."
Starlight backed down. "So is Valey someone you're looking for, or not?"
"And why are you looking for her?" Chrysalis countered. "You're getting upset about strangers and enemies reduced to shadows of their former selves. I can smell it on your breath. You think seeing a friend subjected to the same will make you feel any better?"
"But what if she does remember me?" Starlight winced, but held her head high.
"She doesn't." Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "She's not like the two of us. I had her myself for long enough to know that."
Starlight frowned. "I meant, what if her memory is of me?"
Chrysalis shrugged. "Keep telling yourself that will make it hurt any less."
"Oh yeah? Well, what would you know?" Starlight huffed.
"About how it feels to see a friend you trusted and counted on suddenly treat you like you never existed?" Chrysalis whistled bitterly. "Try me."
"If you're talking about Percival, that's not how he treated you. I was there." Starlight narrowed her eyes. "He trusted you, and he trusted his eyes, and they told him different things. He was confused."
"Shut up." Chrysalis sharply turned her back on Starlight. "You've never been in love. You've never had the one person you counted on above all else abandon you in your darkest hour."
Starlight flicked her tail in annoyance. "So much for saying we were the same."
Chrysalis stopped in her tracks without looking back. "...You're too young to have been in a relationship."
"I have a friend called Maple," Starlight countered. "She adopted me, and I call her mother, but I have to protect her more than she protects me. I love her, but have been told she's more like a little sister than a mother, even though she's more than twice my age. The first thing anyone ever asked me to do after I met her was to take care of her. So no, I haven't been betrayed all at once. But I do love someone, and they're always failing to do what I need. I'll never blame her for it, but once I realized, it hurt. A lot. So there."
Chrysalis stared at her for a long minute. "You're messed up."
Starlight averted her eyes. "I never asked to be."
"But it happened." Chrysalis skirted an errant boulder in the field, almost shaped like a crumbling section of wall. "Did you ever have a normal life? Or were you marked from birth by family circumstance like I was?"
Starlight chewed her lip. "I don't know. I was adopted before I could remember. Maybe if my parents had been better... either set of parents, I wouldn't be here. But I just one day ran away and didn't stop running."
Chrysalis kicked at the ash. "Hmph."
"Did you ever regret not running away?" Starlight looked over at her. "From Chauncey? Before he could do any of the things he did to you?"
"Oh, I tried." Chrysalis flipped her mane. "Twice. But when the Izvalden regent kills your mother and you kill the regent in revenge, and the vizier who runs the province while the next regent comes of age is your father... he had too many resources for me to get past."
Starlight looked down. "I'm surprised you tried that few."
Chrysalis shrugged. "Where would I have gone? This body, remember?" She flexed her wings. "Chauncey made Izvaldi safe for my kind. Anywhere else, I'd have been persecuted and on my own, barely into my teens."
"Sorry about that," Starlight murmured. "Valey really didn't make it sound fun."
Chrysalis huffed. "I got my revenge, if nothing else. Don't patronize me."
"Sorry." Starlight glanced around, looking for a way to change the subject, and was met with only ash. "So how come you look like a filly? I thought you were an adult, or a huge monster with holes in your legs."
"Subtle, aren't you?" Chrysalis deadpanned. "Appearances here are more of... suggestions." With a flash of green flame, she was suddenly an adult. Another flash, and she was pregnant. The next flash left her as a smaller version of the burned, chitinous being she had transformed into in the arena, sans crown, and with a significant amount of concentration, she flashed into a sarosian copy of Starlight. "It's just practice."
Starlight blinked. "You can do that? It feels like every pony I know can make themselves look like me..."
Chrysalis returned to her initial form. "Do something with your mane and become a model. Make everyone look like you. If ponies are vain enough to copy your look, you should encourage them and profit from it."
Starlight tilted her head, wondering if that might actually work and filing the idea away for later. "Thanks?" She paused again, realizing Chrysalis had dodged yet another question. "So if you can be anything, why be my age?"
Chrysalis curled her lip. "Because I disagree with Stanza's fashion sense and would rather not be a hideous behemoth. Call it an opposite extreme, but looking good and pampering myself have always been hobbies of mine and I'd rather not have to think of that when I look in a mirror."
It was impossible for her to hide the bitterness in her voice. "You really regret that, don't you?" Starlight asked. "If you could go back in time, would you not put the crown on?"
"If I could go back in time, I'd never have returned to Percival in the first place," Chrysalis grumbled. "I'd have strangled Gazelle on your ship and then left to raise my foal on my own in the countryside where no one would ever find me. Chauncey was dead. I could have gotten away. But that's impossible now, and my self that's in the real world wants you suffering a fate worse than death."
Starlight perked up. "Your self that's in the real world? You mean you feel different?"
Chrysalis flinched, a very brief hint of embarrassment flashing across her face. "No! I despise you and am only working with you because you refuse to leave me alone."
"You're lonely," Starlight said, no victory in her voice. "You hate yourself for it, but you're enjoying having company, aren't you?"
"Quiet," Chrysalis hissed, the emotion in her voice now obvious. "I am, and if you think drawing attention to it is anything other than the fastest way to raise my ire, think again."
Starlight lowered her ears. Chrysalis clearly wasn't happy, and her adamant rejections and avoidance didn't seem to be doing her a whole lot of good... but when she thought about it, her own methods of being nice and friendly hadn't led her to the happiest life, either.