//------------------------------// // Chapter 23 - Immortal Love // Story: Further Tales From Day Court // by Blade Star //------------------------------// Understandably, Celestia and Luna were quite unsettled by the news of Sombra’s escape. However, all was not as serious as it first appeared. He had got out, true, but where could he go? Sombra had been brought back from the brink, from a mere fragment of horn by the magical wave of harmony that had swept across Equestria. Alone, he could not survive. The last time he had got out, it was due to Starlight’s meddling in the past. Changing the past, changed the present to where Sombra was alive and well. But simply removing the magic meant that there was nothing to sustain him. From the moment he stepped out of that cell, he was dead. Luna surmised that, given the circumstances, and that fact that his regeneration left him not quite gone, he would most likely be trapped in the Ether, or the Void. In effect, he’d stepped from one prison to another. But in another way, he had got out, he had ‘escaped’, only his escape was death. Did that make it a suicide? After all, he must have known, being somepony so gifted in the use of dark magic, what would happen. Was that why he’d did it, as one last taunt to us all? As unsettling as it might be though, to know that a mad lunatic like Sombra was out there, it was somewhat tempered by the fact that he was also no longer a threat. He might have been skilled in those dark arts, and one of the greatest magical geniuses since Starswirl himself, but even he could not crawl back out of his own grave. So, there was little to do. I eventually settled onto the idea that his letter was simply there to mess with me. On our previous meetings, that seemed to be what he did most. He gave me some pointers when it came to Starlight, but for the most part, he just played mind games for his own amusement. And as much as I hate to say it, I wasn’t smart enough to outwit him. In any case, I set the matter to one side and went on with my life. If he did crop up again by some fluke, I had no doubt that Twilight and the others could handle him. Hell, the first time around, he’d even been bested by the two sisters, without the Elements or the Crystal Heart. However, whilst I might have wanted to just ignore the dead madman, others in the castle continued to dwell on his demise. Of the small group of ponies that knew about Sombra, the one who seemed most affected was Celestia. While to the untrained observer, she continued about her duties as if nothing was wrong, to me, having known her for several years, I could see that she was deeply troubled. And as the days passed, the dark, metaphorical cloud hanging over her, began to have an effect on her work. It was one rainy afternoon when she had just finished dealing with a case, with my help, relating to a rather nasty custody battle between two noble families, that I finally broached the subject with her. As the last pony left the room and the great double doors were closed, I got up from my seat and walked over to my friend, who’s shoulders and wings now sagged, and who’s head hung low. “Hey,” I said softly, catching her attention. “Do you want to take a break?” She looked up at me, as if she’d briefly forgotten I was there. In an instant, the sorrow and pain vanished, replaced by that old maternal smile and caring look, combined with the authoritative aura of of a monarch. It was a brilliant mask, but a mask nonetheless. “No, thank you, my advisor,” she said softly. “I am quite alright.” Now, I may be her friend, but there’s a fine line between being a good friend and respecting the will of one’s princess. I was in no position to turn around and tell her she needed to deal with what she was going through. It reflected badly on the both of us for me to do so. Sometimes I hate all the damned rules of court etiquette. Luckily, Celestia seemed to waver after a moment. Maybe she saw my conflicted expression, or realised on her own that what she was going through needed to be addressed. And as I’ve said before, one of the benefits of being the princess; you get to make your own hours. She smiled a gentle smile, one of a friend rather than a ruler. “Actually, on second thoughts,” she went on. “Perhaps a recess would be in order. The docket has been rather full of late, hasn’t it?” I smiled back at her. She now stood up and addressed the guards and remaining attendees. “Day Court shall take a brief recess,” she announced. The guards all began to usher the remaining ponies out of the throne room, and the other advisors and ministers who were in attendance also left for their own offices, or for the castle’s public cafeteria. Celestia meanwhile took her leave. Walking down the steps of the twin thrones, she stepped through the open door that led into her chambers. From there, she could take a short walk back to her own rooms if she wanted. I’d figured that we’d just sit in her chambers, her office as it were, for a few minutes and talk, but the snow white alicorn instead led me up to her rooms. Unlocking the door with her magic, she ushered me inside. Even after having worked for her for so long, it was a rare thing to be invited into Celestia’s inner sanctum. This was where she’d given personal lessons to a very little Twilight Sparkle so many years ago, and where she spent her evening diligently going over the masses of paperwork that came with being the ruler of Equestria. Only a select few of the castle staff and a handful of guards came in here, besides Luna and a few other ponies. I myself had only been in here at most four or five times. Crucially though, I knew that Celestia only ever brought me in here if she wanted to talk as Tia, rather than Princess Celestia. This wasn’t my boss; this was my friend, and she needed my help. Walking over to a small group of large cushions, which passed for chairs in a world of quadrupeds, Celestia sat down. She reminded me somewhat of a large dog as she finally relaxed on the soft cushion. I joined her, sitting down on one side on one of the other cushions. The fireplace had a small fire burning at the moment. It was early autumn, at at this altitude, things were starting to get chilly. Canterlot Castle is many things, but energy efficient isn’t one of them. They really ought to invest in some double glazing. Celestia sat, pensive, for a few moments. We both knew what was weighing on her mind. Luna had told me about it. It was Sombra. Back when I had first started visiting him, Celestia had always refused to go near him, not out of fear, but due to the heartache such a meeting would cause her. You see, many years ago, long before we arrived in Equestria or even before Twilight and the others were born, Celestia had been tinkering with Starswirl’s mirror magic concept. The two of them found many worlds parallel to this one. In one of them, she and her sister were evil, and the villains of this world were the good guys. The man in charge was the benevolent King Sombra. The two had met and, in time, fallen in love. Celestia had continued to visit over the years, in secret, even after Starswirl explicitly told her not to. The two worlds began to grow unstable, and eventually, in order to save both versions of Equestria, the good version of Sombra sacrificed himself by absorbing all the dark magic from the mirror versions of Celestia and Luna, turning him into the Sombra we all know and despise. He might have looked the same, but the good stallion she knew was gone. Ever since then, she’s always been touchy about him. She entertained the idea for a time that he might still be in there somewhere, and searched tirelessly for a way to save him. But his corruption was so severe, that there was little to be done. She could do nothing but leave the stallion she once loved and admired to languish in Tartarus. And now he was dead; gone for good. It had been hard enough, according to Discord, when she’d lost him back in the mirror world. Now that same loss was hitting her again full force. Nopony, not even an immortal, should have to mourn somepony twice. Looking up, I caught her eye. She looked so sad it almost hurt. “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly. Celestia let out a sigh and closed her eyes. “I can stand despair, Roger,” she said sadly. “I can endure the pain of loss. I can get myself to move on. But it’s the hope that hurts most of all.” “You hoped he might one day find his way back?” I asked. She nodded. “A part of me knew it futile. But there was another part, the part that loved him so dearly, that knew that somewhere underneath all the anger and all that hate, there was still a good stallion. I couldn’t reach him through the darkness, but he was always so strong. I hoped that, imprisoned as he was, he might some day be able to break free of the evil that took hold in his heart.” “In a way he has,” I offered kindly. “At least now he can be at peace.” I’d expected that to give Celestia some small measure of comfort. But her reaction was quite the opposite. For a moment, anger flashed across her features, in a degree I had never seen before. I’d seen her cross before, I’d ever seen her angry. But I’d never once seen her like this. “What about me though?!” she shot back. “What about my peace?! I loved him and like everypony else in my life he had to go and leave me behind!” “Celestia...” I tried, but she cut me off. “You will too!” she went on. “One day, you’ll be old and frail, and you’ll die. That will be another friend I lose! Do you know how many friends I’ve lost over the years? How many friendships I’ve nurtured and watched grow, only to see them wither and die in a few decades! I’ve lost count! Even Luna was taken from my for a millennia, and that was by my own hoof! Sombra was the closest thing I had to a soulmate! I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but no, he was taken from me like everypony else. When you live as long as I do, everything is like the blink of an eye. My one moment of happiness and like everything else it was taken from me.” She was up on her hooves now, pacing around the room. Her horn sparked with arcane power as her emotions began to have an effect on her magic. I stayed where I was, feeling slightly unsettled by her outburst. There was nothing for me to say, she was venting, as she needed to. “I’d never even entertained the idea of falling in love with somepony before then,” Celestia continued, tears now welling up in her eyes. “I knew what would happen, and I resolved to never put myself through that heartache. But when I met him…he was so kind, so caring, so noble. I couldn’t help myself. I suppose even I am not immune to my niece's arrows. I didn’t care that one day it would all be over. We had all the time in the world. I lulled myself into thinking we would be together forever. But he was taken from me like everypony else.” She finally paused in her pacing and turned to look at me, that same anger still in her eyes. “And the best part? He only had to sacrifice himself because of my continued visits to his world. The two realities became unstable. If I hadn’t kept going back and forth, he could have lived a long, happy life as that handsome stallion I first met. It should have been me that died, not him!” She sat down on her haunches, her head and wings drooping as before. The magic stopped and her anger seemed to cool for a moment. Getting up, I walked over to her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Tia,” I said. “You can’t blame yourself for what happened. Sombra chose to absorb that dark magic to save his world. He knew what he was doing. He also knew what would happen if he didn’t.” “But why did it have to be him?” Celestia asked, tears now flowing freely down her face. “It’s not fair!” “I know,” I replied. “But we both know life isn’t fair. As much as it hurts, you have to accept that he’s gone.” I knew it was a hard thing to hear. But it was what she needed. She needed to let go of that memory. Not forget him, but accept what had happened and that it was out of her control. But my words seemed to have the opposite effect. “I don’t have to accept anything,” Celestia said darkly, looking up at me. “I am an alicorn. I can do what I want!” That...didn’t sound good. “Tia, even Discord cannot bring ponies back to life. And even your magic has its limits.” Celestia got up, shrugging away my hand. “But death is not one of them,” she replied with a haughty tone. “I have lived for over a millennia, and I still have the body of a mare in her prime. I have conquered death. I am not at its beck and call. There is no reason I cannot use the power within me to make the same apply to others. I could bring him back, and make him immortal if I wished it. I raise the sun with a flick of my horn, caused a normal unicorn to become an alicorn with a thought. Why should a little thing like death stop me?” “Because you know what that magic is,” I countered. “Necromancy is illegal, never mind dangerous for both the caster and target alike. It’s dark magic which you yourself expressly forbid over four hundred years ago.” “And it was short sighted of me to do so,” Celestia replied. “And since I am the one who made the law, I can simply unmake it. It might be dangerous for some piddling little unicorn, but not to me. I have more magic and more knowledge than anypony else alive. I know I can bring him back.” Okay, now she was really starting to scare me. This wasn’t even sounding like Celestia any more. “I can’t let you do that, Celestia,” I said firmly standing across from her. “I won’t see you put yourself in harm's way like that.” Celestia smiled. And at that moment, I felt fear. “And how do you propose to stop me?” she asked curiously. “You, a human, with no magic to call on. Do you really think you can stand against me? You are like an ant to me. I wouldn’t even have to think about it, and you would be reduced to ash. Even my dear sister wasn’t able to resist me, with all her own dark magic. Before little Twilight came along, I was the one who dealt with all those villains who sought to take from me. I might have let them live, but through compassion, not inability. Tirek, Scorpan, Discord, Chrysalis, the Storm King; all of them, if I really wanted to, I could have burned them alive with the light of my sun. Why, if I wanted to, I could destroy this world, and not even Twilight and the Elements of Harmony could stop me.” There was something different about Celestia. It wasn’t just her personality; her whole form seemed to be changing. Her mane was turning slowly orange, her eyes burned like fire, and the room was slowly beginning to heat up, going from comfortable, to a blazing summers day. Celestia kept on. “I’ve always held myself back, you know. I’ve never used my full potential. My whole life has been spent making sacrifices for all these little ponies. I think it’s time I stopped caring about them all and their short, petty lives. It’s time I take what I wanted.” I was now utterly terrified. She was sounding like...like Daybreaker; the twisted version of Celestia that Starlight imagined. What was truly frightening was that she was right in everything she said. But that didn’t make it right, and I knew that she knew that. “No!” I said sternly, desperately pushing down the terror I was feeling. “I won’t let you do that, Celestia.” She rounded on my, her horn glowing a reddish orange colour instead of its usual gold. “You dare defy me?!” she asked incredulously. “You are my friend,” I replied. “And I won’t let you do this. If you want to go down this path, then by God, you’ll have to go through me first.” We both stood, facing each other, locked in a silent battle of wills. I stared at Celestia, and she stared back as flames continued to form in her mane and tail. Neither of us was backing down. I never thought I’d be the one facing down a villain, nor did I ever think it would be one of my dearest friends. But if I didn’t stop this now, who knows what could happen. I don’t know how long we were like that. She glaring at me, her horn crackling with impossible power, and me, waiting for her attack, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. Eventually though, after several tense moments, the storm passed. The anger on Celestia’s face faded, as did that dark sparkle in her eye. The flames receded and she slowly began to look more and more like that mare I was familiar with. A moment later, and I saw horror flash across her features, quickly followed by regret and shame. Deactivating her magic, she rushed over to me and embraced me a hug. “Roger!” she said desperately, hugging me wish both wings and forelegs. “I...I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me! Are you alright?” I let out a sigh of relief; she was back. “I’ll let you know when I stop shaking,” I replied. “I can’t believe I said all those horrible things to you,” she said regretfully. “It was so strange, it was like I was watching everything unfold, but I wasn’t in control of my actions.” I did my best to offer some sort of explanation. “I don’t know if it helps,” I said. “But when you were talking a moment ago, you looked all different. Your mane and tail were changing. They looked more like flames. And you magic and your eyes changed too.” Celestia let out a startled gasp. “That dream Starlight had when Luna and I switched our cutie marks,” she said. “Daybreaker said that she was me if I stopped caring about my little ponies. But I never for a moment thought it was real.” She now released me from her hug. “Well, we all have our dark sides, Tia,” I replied. “Everypony, and everyone, has a breaking point. I think you almost reached yours.” “But I wouldn’t hurt a friend, even if it meant getting Sombra back,” she finished. I nodded. “Yeah, I was kinda counting on that.” Celestia became pensive again. She was no longer mourning her lost lover, now she seemed more afraid that anything else; afraid of herself. She’d might have been ranting and raving a moment ago, but she was quite correct in what she said. Despite Rainbow Dash’s complaining that the princesses never really do much, they are capable of a great deal, and both wield incredibly powerful magic. Let’s not forget, these being routinely move huge celestial bodies through the sky; a feat that required six extremely powerful unicorns, and which left all of them forever drained of magic after one attempt. And let’s not forget, who was it who defeated both Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker in that dream of Starlight’s? When she truly lets loose, Celestia certainly isn’t that far away from being a goddess. If the mood struck her, she could potentially do whatever she wanted. But it seemed that her desire to reclaim her lost love had also been the catalyst to temper any arrogance she might have on the matter. Or at least, the notion that she had even considered the idea of killing me to bring him back had frightened her into abandoning the idea. After that little scare, Celestia asked me to leave her alone for a while. Day Court was shut down for the rest of the day, and I didn’t see her when I left for the train station that evening. She never came out of her room, although I did catch a glimpse of Luna heading inside. I worried about her. While she had been wrong in what she’d said, she was right in some ways. She’d ruled Equestria along for a thousand years, and a hundred more before that with Luna alongside her. According to Pinkie when she put on that play, Celestia had ruled Equestria in one way or another for 1,111 years. All that time she had devoted to her subjects. She’d never married, never fallen in love, or had children. She’d watched countless friends age and die while she was forced to live on. She’d even had Luna, her only companion who would always be with her, taken from her for a thousand years. I’ll be honest, were I in her horseshoes, I would have gone insane long ago. She needed a break. I spent the train ride home worrying, not for my princess, but for my friend. I spent the train ride home pondering to myself, about Celestia, Luna, and Discord. The three of them had the blessing and curse of immortality. I wasn’t sure if the same applied to Cadence or Twilight, even Celestia isn’t a hundred percent sure on the subject, but it certainly applied to those three. I suppose I never really thought about it before, but three of my closest friends just happen to be creatures that aren’t that far off of being called gods. And here I was, the best of friends with them, chatting every day like it was nothing. Perhaps that was why Celestia liked me. I might call her princess in court, but I always treated her Celestia, or at most, as royalty. I suppose it never really sunk in until now just how different we were from one another. I was just yet another interesting chapter in her long life. I mean, can you imagine it? If you were to be born the year of the Norman Conquest, and lived until today, you still wouldn’t have been alive for as long as Celestia has. You’d see so much happen; the Crusades, the forging of the Magna Carta, the creation of Protestantism, the Reformation, the Black Death, the Great Fire of London, the Renaissance, the Civil War, the Glorious Revolution, the Regency, the conflicts with France, with Germany, with Russia, the end of Empire, all the way up to today. How could anyone, never mind anypony, experience all of that in one lifetime? It boggled the mind. On the plus side though, it did make me feel young to say I ‘only’ sixty one now. As I continued to stare out of the window, watching the train slowly make its way down the mountain, bound for Ponyville, I caught, in the corner of my eye, the unique bright flash that signified Discord’ appearance.. Turning around, I found him sitting on the cushioned seat next to me. Like me, he looked a little uncomfortable seated so on something so clearly designed for quadrupeds. “Discord,” I said with some surprise. “What brings you here?” For once, my friend looked genuinely concerned. That alone gave me cause for concern. “It’s Celestia,” he said seriously, his usual gags and parlour tricks conspicuous by the absence. “It sounds like she had a close brush with something nasty today.” I nodded. “She’s still dealing with Sombra,” I replied, keeping my voice down, lest anypony else in the carriage hear me utter the name of a dead man. “I’ve never seen her like that, old man. And I hope I never do again.” Discord clasped paw and talon together. “I’ve known her a lot longer than you, Roger,” he replied. “And the only time I saw her like that, was the day after she banished Nightmare Moon. The grief almost consumed her.” “How do you know?” I replied. “I thought you were stuck as a statue back then.” Discord snorted. “Please, being turned to stone doesn’t stop me from being awake. You’d be amazed what ponies discussed in that garden. Celestia even started using me as a confessional at one point.” Wow, and I thought Celestia had it rough. How did Discord survive a thousand years in stone but perfectly aware of everything that was happening? Although it certainly explained a lot, though I’m told he was as mad as a march hare before then. Still, his similar situation gave me an idea. I figured that I’d stared death in the face once today. There was little harm in doing it again. I broached the one topic I know for a fact Discord does not want to discuss. “How do you cope with it?” I asked him. “What? Immortality?” he asked. I shook my head. “How do you cope with knowing that Fluttershy is going to die some day?” I’ve said it plenty of times, Discord is properly in love with his reformer. A lot of other ponies might not see it, but spending as much time with him as I do, it’s pretty obvious. But his relationship with Fluttershy is a bit of a hot button issue for Discord. He doesn’t like to talk about it. He’s uniquely private about his feelings towards her. Whereas everything else is out there plain to see, he does his best to avoid revealing anything about personal relationships, instead deflecting with humour and sarcasm. “Well...” he said, trailing off for a moment. “I suppose I will always miss my first ever friend.” I bit the bullet. “You love her,” I countered. Discord now glared at me something fierce. Snapping his talons, something rather strange happened, as is usual when Discord’s magic is in play. The world slowed down to a crawl, and all at once, everything came to a halt. Time itself had stopped dead in its tracks. Only he and I were unaffected. He glared down at me coldly. “You’re a good friend, Roger,” he said with a dark smile. “So I’ll show you the courtesy of telling you to shut up instead of turning you into a flying pig.” That was actually a much better reaction than I was expecting. “I promise I won’t tell a soul, Discord,” I went on. “And I wouldn’t ask if you weren’t the only one who could help Celestia.” For a moment, the draconequus was torn between his own feelings and his feelings for Celestia. He might not love her like he does Fluttershy, but I know he does care for her deeply. The two of them have known each other for a long time after all. Eventually, his reformed side won out over his more selfish side. He kept things frozen though, so nopony else could hear. “It’s the only thing that keeps me from saying anything,” he replied solemnly. “She’d never agree to live forever like me, and outlive her friends. But I can’t bear the thought of losing her, so I just say nothing. We stay friends, and we get to enjoy that friendship while it lasts.” “That’s no way to live, Discord,” I replied. “It’s the only way I can stay sane,” he countered sadly. “At least Celestia got a few centuries out of Sombra. Fluttershy might last, what, another fifty or sixty years, if I’m lucky?” “You could still cherish the time you have together,” I said. “And spend the rest of my existence, my immortal existence, missing her every day? It’s going to be hard enough as it is. And spare me that ‘Tis better to have loved and lost’ horseapples.” I tried a change of tack. Discord and Tia both thought their situation was unique. It was time to change that. “You think I won’t have to deal with something like this?” I asked. “Margaret’s two years older than me and has already had a mini stroke. There’s a good chance she’ll be called before I am. It might be shorter, but I’ll still have to live on without her. How is that any different from you two?” Discord looked genuinely surprised for a moment after I had said that, as if he’d never even considered the idea. “Well, how do you cope with it then?” he asked. “How do you force yourself to feel love, knowing that one day it’s going to be over?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Simple,” I replied. “I count my blessings and enjoy it while it lasts. Us mortals do tend to rather live in the moment.” “You’re smarter than you look, Roger. You know that?” Discord said with a smile. I smiled back. “It has been suggested,” I replied. “So, any ideas to help with Celestia?” The next day court was again closed. Luna offered to sit in for Celestia, but her presence and past performance scared off more than a few petitioners, much to her annoyance. So it was decided to close the court instead. As I’ve said before, as princess, Celestia made her own hours. She needed some time off to deal with this. I made my way up her chambers, where, if Discord was to be believed, she was still holed up. Knocking on the door, I found it open, courtesy of her magic. Heading inside, I found Celestia somewhat calmer today. But she had begun to slip back into melancholy. Still, at least she wasn’t alone. There was one other immortal living in Canterlot castle, and that was Philomena, Celestia’s pet phoenix. An immortal fire bird, who else better to be a companion to an alicorn? The phoenix was currently perched on Celestia’s shoulder, chirruping in an effort to cheer her owner up. She looked up as I came in and flew over to perch on my arm, like some great bird of prey. She likes me, I think. She’s pretty friendly, and incredibly smart by bird standards. “Hey there, girl,” I said, gently running a finger along her plumage. Celestia now spoke. “She’s the only one,” she said softly. “The only one who’s been with me through everything.” She let out a sigh. And I walked over to her, I saw that she had something in her hooves. It was the shard of the mirror portal; a keepsake she’d retained after the mirror had been destroyed. Her only real reminder of her lost love. I sat down next to her and tried to meet her gaze. “You know, I was thinking,” I said. “You were very lucky with Sombra.” Celestia looked at me incredulously, but said nothing. “I’m serious,” I went on. “You met another pony, and you dated, met in secret, or whatever you want to call it for centuries. All through your life after Starswirl was lost, through Luna’s banishment. You must have spent at least a good five hundred years or so together. You know how long Margaret and me have been married? Thirty five. Thirty five years, that’s nothing really to you, is it? “I’ve got maybe another twenty years with her, and then she’ll be gone, or I’ll be taken from her. So at best we might get spend sixty years together. You got centuries with Sombra. Visits, sure, but centuries. You can’t imagine what I’d give for that kind of time.” “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Celestia asked. “You don’t know how lucky you are, Tia,” I said. “Yes, it’s over now. But you got all that time, all those memories.” “And that’s all I have,” she replied bitterly. “They don’t have to fill you with sorrow though,” I went on, more gently now. “You can cherish them, they can bring you happiness and strength. Those memories let you recapture those positive emotions, the happiness, the love. Don’t dwell on what you lost. Think of what you gained. You’re looking back down the path already trod. But there’s so much more out there to explore.” Celestia seemed to be swayed a little by my argument. Philomena joined in, cawing gently and rubbing herself against Celestia’s shoulder. “If nothing else, Tia,” I said softly. “I know Sombra wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your days mourning for him. He sacrificed himself to save you from being encased in crystal. He wanted you to live. If you really did love him, you’ll do that.” After that, Celestia opened up to me again. There were more tears, hours of conversation that aren’t worth recording here. Plus I don’t think Celestia would want me to. Slowly, she began to recover. She still missed him, and I know she misses him every day, but it no longer weighs heavy on her heart. She grieved, she processed, and slowly, she came to terms at last with her loss. Now if only the version in our universe would have had the decency to stay dead.