Guilty Pleasures
Chapter Five; Traces of Normalcy
Rainbow Dash’s back ached, her wings tingling as they were pinned awkwardly beneath her. The wooden bench she lay on was the furthest thing from comfortable she could get, but as her eyes scanned a spotless cyan sky, she knew it was her best option. It was either an uncomfortable bench or wait somewhere else, and that wasn’t a choice for her.
A loud, piercing whistle filled the air, and Rainbow’s nose was assaulted by a wave of smoke.
“Last call! All aboard for Canterlot!” A conductor shouted. There was a pause, then another whistle, then a gentle chugging whirred to live.
Rainbow rolled her head just enough to see the train leave the station out of the corner of her eye. She sighed; Twilight was due home today, but she didn’t know when. The first train from the Crystal Empire had been hours ago, and Rainbow had been waiting ever since. Not like she had much else to do; ever since she’d come back to Ponyville, she’d cooped herself up in her home, wallowing in her own guilt and self pity.
Now that Twilight was coming back, she couldn’t just sit around in her house. Couldn’t risk not being there when the alicorn showed up. Wrong as she knew it was, she also knew she had to see Twilight first. Before whatever was about to happen happened. Everything was about to change, and she wanted to cling on to what little was left of how things were.
She chuckled to herself; it wasn’t that long ago she wanted things to go back to how they were before any of this started, and now she wanted nothing more than for things to stay the same. Maybe she was just afraid of change.
There was a squeal, and another train pulled into the station. She looked up and watched as the doors opened, a careful eye scanning the crowd that emerged. A gentle din filled the air, between the idle humming of the train and the murmur of those disembarking. The wave of ponies washed around Rainbow and her bench, and the doors of the trail closed without the pony she was looking for.
Sighing, Rainbow rolled her head back to looking at the sky. The sun had passed its zenith, beginning its descent towards the horizon, and she realized how long she’d been there, waiting. Her stomach growled at her, and she sighed again. Patting her barrel with a hoof, she shook her head. She couldn’t risk leaving now; Twilight could well be on the next train, and she had to be there. Even if it was just a few moments, she needed to cling to how things were for as long as she could, knowing it would be the last time.
“Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow jolted at the deep voice calling her name, a shadow washing over her. She looked over at an unfamiliar stallion. “Uh… yeah?” She rolled her eyes. “Look, if you’re a fan, that’s great, but I’m on vacation right now, so could you-”
The stallion chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, to say I’m not a fan might not be quite true, but that’s not why I’m here. I wanted to talk to you. About Princess Twilight.”
Rainbow’s ears perked at that, and she groaned as she pulled herself to sitting halfway upright. “What about her?” Her gaze hardened. “I can’t get you favours from royalty, if that’s what you’re after. You should-”
Again, he shook his head. “I assure you it’s nothing of the sort. Though I’m not surprised you don’t recognize me, what with the enchantment. My name’s Silver Spear, I’m a royal guard at Canterlot Castle, assigned to Twilight’s personal protection when she’s visiting.”
Rainbow’s eyes grew wide and she froze, staring at the stallion. He certainly looked the part; well built and muscular, the only thing missing was the signature white coat of the Guard - his being a dark silver, almost grey - but she knew the armour was enchanted for that. “You-”
“I’m often posted outside Princess Twilight’s chambers,” he said, and his eyes narrowed pointedly.
“Oh,” was all Rainbow could say. Her head thundered in her chest. What was this about? Obviously he knew - how could he not? Was he here to threaten her? Blackmail her and Twilight? What-
He smiled kindly, motioning to the bench. “May I?”
Swallowing nervously, Rainbow sat up fully and shifted aside as he took a seat. “What, uh, what can I do for you?”
Sighing, Silver Spear nodded to himself. “I suppose it makes sense for you to be nervous, but please relax; I’m not here to cause trouble, or anything.”
Rainbow’s teeth clenched. “Then what do you want?” Her patience was already wearing thin. The fact that the idle smile never left his lips was getting on her nerves. There was no way this was going to go well.
“Look, Miss Dash; I’m a Royal Guyard, and it’s a job I take very seriously. We all took an oath swearing our devotion to the Princesses and their protection, no matter the danger to ourselves, and though I suspect if it ever came to that Princess Celestia would do everything she could to allow us to retreat, we are willing to do whatever it takes to ensure her safety. The same goes for Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight and Princess Cadance when they visit.
“For many of us, though - myself included - in these times of peace we take the oath to mean something different. We also do everything we can to ensure our charges are happy. Few realize it, but we Guards spend all day with the Princesses, and the trust we place in them is mutual. We watch over the Princesses, and we see when they’re upset or frustrated, and we offer our services in any way we can.”
Rainbow rolled her hoof in the air. “Can you get to the point?”
“Ah, my apologies. My point, Miss Dash, is that I value the Princess’s happiness as much as I do their safety, and your visits to Princess Twilight have not escaped my notice. In fact, the entire guard knows of your…” he paused, searching for the word. “Complicated relationship.”
“So what, are you here to blackmail me or something? Want me to stop visiting?” Rainbow’s voice came out as an aggressive snarl, and she surprised herself at how much that idea hurt her.
Silver shook his head rapidly. “No, no of course not. Quite the opposite, in fact; I want you to do whatever it takes to stay with Her Highness.”
Rainbow jaw dropped open. “You what?”
“Look, Princess Twilight’s relationship with Miss Rarity is no secret; even the public knows of it. But the guards know of your relationship with her, and we - well, we’ve noticed the difference in the Princess’s behavior. For example, do you know how many times we’ve seen her cry?” Rainbow shrugged, still trying to process what she was being told. “I’ve only ever seen Princess Twilight openly cry once, when she received a letter from Rarity. She never said what was in it, but up until that letter she had been excited for Miss Rarity to visit her, and that visit never happened. I can only assume that’s what the letter contained.
“It wasn’t long after that that you started visiting her, Miss Dash, and the difference was night and day; Princess Twilight was always downcast while she was in Canterlot, away from all of you and Miss Rarity. She would pace the halls at night, unable to sleep, and spend most of her free time locked either in her chambers or the library. But when your relationship with her started, it was like we were guarding a different pony entirely. She became brighter, more cheerful, than we’d ever seen her. We don’t want her to go back to how she was.”
Rainbow felt like she’d been slapped. All this time, ever since it started and every moment of every day she’d felt horrible. The guilt had consumed her and the only thing that kept her going was a disgusting mix of her own selfish desires and a sense of obligation. But now… “You’re saying we should… stay together?”
“That’s… a loaded question.” Silver sighed, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t wish to speak ill of an Element Bearer, nor a pony close to the Princess, but… Miss Rarity was hardly present in Princess Twilight’s life. You, on the other hoof, were constantly visiting - sneaking in through the window even when the Princess told us not to let anypony disturb her.
Rainbow blanched. “H-how-”
“We are guards, Miss Dash, and we are good at our jobs.” Silver chuckled. “We knew, but we also knew even when the Princess requested to be alone, that wasn’t what she needed. We turned a blind eye to you, and without fail you managed to make Princess Twilight happy. That is what I’m here to protect; don’t let that stop.”
After a moment of silence, the news weighing heavily in Rainbow’s gut, she snorted. “I don’t think it’s really my choice to make. Twi’s… she’s killing herself over this.”
“I’d assumed as much; and, frankly, that’s probably how she should feel.” Silver shook his head wearily. “As much as I want her to be happy, and as much as I know that she’s happiest when she’s with you, I also know what you’re doing is wrong.” He looked over, giving her a small smile. “I’m sorry, I know this must be hard on you, as well. I just wanted you to know that you really did make a difference to Her Highness, and that no matter what happens, I request that you continue to do so. However you can.”
“And what about Rarity?” Rainbow shuddered, recalling her conversation with the unicorn. “I can’t… I can’t stand what we’re doing to her, either. She trusts us, and I-” she trailed off, unable or unwilling to put words to her actions. “It has to stop. How it stops… that’s up to Twilight.”
Silver Spear nodded slowly. “I understand. For now, just know your secret’s safe; the Guard knows better than to let things like this slip.”
Rainbow chuckled dryly. “Yeah, I guess knews of one of Equestria’s Princess cheating on her marefriend with one of her friends probably wouldn’t be too good, huh?”
“No, it wouldn’t.” Silver stood and stretched. “Well, it’s time I leave. Before I go, however, may I ask a question?”
“You gonna blackmail me if I say no?” Rainbow asked, her tone only half-joking.
Silver laughed. “Who knows? I just wanted to know… do you love her?”
Rainbow jolted at the question, and her eyes lowered to the floor. Silver saw her look, and quickly waved his hoof dismissively. “Sorry, forget I asked; I don’t-”
“Yeah…” Rainbow admitted, her voice small and quiet. She looked up, and her eyes were firm. “Yeah, I love her. She said she loves me, too, so who knows; maybe something will work out, I-” she was cut off by a gasp from behind, and her heart dropped into her stomach. Slowly, painfully slowly, Rainbow turned her head, and froze.
A bouquet of lavender flowers fell to the ground.
Rainbow jumped from the bench and took off running. “Rarity, wait!”
On the horizon, a train barreled towards Ponyville, a pillar of smoke trailing behind.
Twilight sighed wistfully, watching the empty sky pass by through the window of the train. Her car was empty save for herself - a fact she was thankful for. The silence, marred only by the rhythmic clanking of the train, was a blessing. After the bustling Crystal Castle and the time spent with Shining and Cadance, some time to herself to relax before dealing with the inevitable was more than welcomed.
Her stomach roiled with nerves, but no longer did she feel the paralyzing anxiety she once had. She didn’t know how, but Cadance’s words had helped, and her trip to the Crystal Empire had become more of a vacation than she’d anticipated.
Now, however, it was time to face her friends. And Rarity. And Rainbow Dash.
Twilight groaned, her forehead thumping against the cool glass. She’d spent enough time worrying. She knew what she had to do. Knew what was going to happen. Knew what she might lose.
But that was okay. She’d get through it. She took a breath, and managed to smile as the train lurched and began to slow.
“Next stop, Ponyville!” The conductor announced, and Twilight saw the small town approaching. Her smile widened; her friends would likely be there already, waiting to welcome her home. She’d sent Rarity a letter detailing when she’d be back, who’d probably gathered the rest of the girls.
Rainbow would be there, too… Twilight sighed, and her smile melted. To say she was looking forward to the coming conversation was as far from the truth as physically possible, but it had to be done. The truth had to come out, and after, she’d take stock of what she had left. With any luck, she might just have something.
The breaks squealed, and Twilight clambered to her hooves before the train even stopped moving. Now, she wanted more than anything to see her friends. Some small piece of normalcy before her life crumbled around her.
As soon as the doors opened Twilight jumped onto the platform, smiling widely as she scanned the platform for her friends. Moments passed, and her heart fell.
“Girls?” She asked aloud, spinning in a circle.
The station was empty.
A bouquet of lavender flowers lay on the ground next to a wooden bench.