//------------------------------// // Day Two: Coming Out Of My Shell // Story: I Don't Want Your Help... // by Script Singer //------------------------------// I woke up to the same routine as yesterday. A nurse came into my room, took my vitals, performed some exercises, and asked a few questions. showered and got ready for the day then waited for my breakfast.  I sat next to Orchid as I waited for the nurse to call my name for my food.  “They said I might be able to go home today.” She admitted, suddenly. “Oh really?” I asked. “I thought you just got here.” “No, I’ve been here for around 5 days but the usual stay time is around 3-7 days here.”  “Do you feel like you're ready to go home?” “Well, I’m a bit nervous, yeah, but I feel like I’m ready.” “What are you nervous about?” “Well, I didn’t really feel safe in my home. I’ve had a bunch of family issues with my parents.” “What do you mean?”  “Well, my father has a history of drinking and he physically abused my mother and me. He’s taking time to work on himself though so we can have a more healthy relationship!”  “That’s good, I guess.” “Well I shared, what are you in for?” “I… tried to kill myself,” I said as my ears dropped back. “Oh,” Orchid said, “That sucks, why? If you're comfortable talking about it.” “It’s a long story… Besides, I don’t wanna trigger you.”  “I’ve got thicker skin than all that. Don’t worry about me, it’ll help to talk about it.” “Alright, if you say so,” I mumbled. So I told her. I told her everything. It took probably around 10-15 minutes.  “Wow,” Orchid sighs, “Buck, I heard about some strange stallion passing through the North of Ponyville, but nopony came forward about being attacked. I don’t know what to say.” “It’s alright, I don’t think anypony would know what to say.” “It’s alright, I don’t think anypony would know what to say.” “I wanna give you a hug.” I smiled slightly and opened up my arms for an embrace. The hug was incredibly quick but felt like the best hug I’ve ever had. I felt tears stream down my face. “Thank you.” I cried. Orchid smiled. “You’re welcome, Script.”  --- I sit in an uncomfortable chair, resting my chin on my hoof. We were in a movie room watching the latest hot movie that I wasn’t really interested in.  I heard one of the nurses calling my name so I got up from my seat to see what she wanted.  “The doctor said he wanted to talk to you, is that alright?” She asked. I just shrugged a reply.  She walked me into the small office of a brown earth pony with a short graying mane. I took a seat. “Good afternoon, Script. I’m Doctor Cheval. How are you feeling today?” He asked. “Not too different from when I first got here,” I grumbled.  “Well, do you want to get better?”  I just rubbed my neck and shrugged. “I don’t really know anymore… My head just keeps screaming at me to die, but I still wanna be able to experience life. It’s like I don’t really wanna die, but I don’t wanna live.” Doctor Cheval nodded his head. “I can understand that. I think I know what the problem is.” I looked up perking up slightly. “What is it?” “You don’t have the will to exist.”  I tilted my head in confusion. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Why don’t you start from the very beginning, why do you have depression?” I saw images flash through my mind as I started trembling.  “It’s alright, nothing can hurt you here. This is a safe space where you can open up.” “Alright, but I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to open up…” I said, taking a deep breath.  “That’s okay.”  So I started at the beginning. The very beginning. The reason why I didn’t speak up about my depression before. It felt like I spent hours explaining what happened to me and I cried. A lot. I just let myself let it out, I had to if I wanted to get any better.  “Thank you for sharing all of that with me, Script. That must have been really hard for you.” I let out a sniff as I nodded my head, taking another tissue.  “The more you open up, the more I can help you.”  “I know, it’s just hard for me to open up about all of this…” “I understand that, I know it’s hard." A sudden sound of a timer brought us back to reality. “It appears that is all the time we have for today, thank you for meeting with me today.” I nodded my head and shook his hoof and went back out to the movie area. By the time I got back, it looked like they were still watching the movie so I decided to just go back to my room and take a nap.  I walked into my room and to my bed pulling the covers over me and drifted off to sleep.