I woke up to the same routine as yesterday. A nurse came into my room, took my vitals, performed some exercises, and asked a few questions. showered and got ready for the day then waited for my breakfast.
I sat next to Orchid as I waited for the nurse to call my name for my food.
“They said I might be able to go home today.” She admitted, suddenly.
“Oh really?” I asked. “I thought you just got here.”
“No, I’ve been here for around 5 days but the usual stay time is around 3-7 days here.”
“Do you feel like you're ready to go home?”
“Well, I’m a bit nervous, yeah, but I feel like I’m ready.”
“What are you nervous about?”
“Well, I didn’t really feel safe in my home. I’ve had a bunch of family issues with my parents.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, my father has a history of drinking and he physically abused my mother and me. He’s taking time to work on himself though so we can have a more healthy relationship!”
“That’s good, I guess.”
“Well I shared, what are you in for?”
“I… tried to kill myself,” I said as my ears dropped back.
“Oh,” Orchid said, “That sucks, why? If you're comfortable talking about it.”
“It’s a long story… Besides, I don’t wanna trigger you.”
“I’ve got thicker skin than all that. Don’t worry about me, it’ll help to talk about it.”
“Alright, if you say so,” I mumbled. So I told her. I told her everything. It took probably around 10-15 minutes.
“Wow,” Orchid sighs, “Buck, I heard about some strange stallion passing through the North of Ponyville, but nopony came forward about being attacked. I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s alright, I don’t think anypony would know what to say.”
“It’s alright, I don’t think anypony would know what to say.”
“I wanna give you a hug.”
I smiled slightly and opened up my arms for an embrace. The hug was incredibly quick but felt like the best hug I’ve ever had. I felt tears stream down my face. “Thank you.” I cried.
Orchid smiled. “You’re welcome, Script.”
---
I sit in an uncomfortable chair, resting my chin on my hoof. We were in a movie room watching the latest hot movie that I wasn’t really interested in.
I heard one of the nurses calling my name so I got up from my seat to see what she wanted.
“The doctor said he wanted to talk to you, is that alright?” She asked. I just shrugged a reply.
She walked me into the small office of a brown earth pony with a short graying mane. I took a seat.
“Good afternoon, Script. I’m Doctor Cheval. How are you feeling today?” He asked.
“Not too different from when I first got here,” I grumbled.
“Well, do you want to get better?”
I just rubbed my neck and shrugged. “I don’t really know anymore… My head just keeps screaming at me to die, but I still wanna be able to experience life. It’s like I don’t really wanna die, but I don’t wanna live.”
Doctor Cheval nodded his head. “I can understand that. I think I know what the problem is.”
I looked up perking up slightly. “What is it?”
“You don’t have the will to exist.”
I tilted my head in confusion. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Why don’t you start from the very beginning, why do you have depression?”
I saw images flash through my mind as I started trembling.
“It’s alright, nothing can hurt you here. This is a safe space where you can open up.”
“Alright, but I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to open up…” I said, taking a deep breath.
“That’s okay.”
So I started at the beginning. The very beginning. The reason why I didn’t speak up about my depression before. It felt like I spent hours explaining what happened to me and I cried. A lot. I just let myself let it out, I had to if I wanted to get any better.
“Thank you for sharing all of that with me, Script. That must have been really hard for you.”
I let out a sniff as I nodded my head, taking another tissue.
“The more you open up, the more I can help you.”
“I know, it’s just hard for me to open up about all of this…”
“I understand that, I know it’s hard."
A sudden sound of a timer brought us back to reality. “It appears that is all the time we have for today, thank you for meeting with me today.”
I nodded my head and shook his hoof and went back out to the movie area. By the time I got back, it looked like they were still watching the movie so I decided to just go back to my room and take a nap.
I walked into my room and to my bed pulling the covers over me and drifted off to sleep.