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// Chapter 20: The Lone Wolf Leaves Equestria 
// Story: The Lone Wolf of Equestria 
// by JNKing 
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The chirping of birds roused Logan from the coma he had fallen into. For a brief, shining moment, he wondered if everything that had happened – finding out his pack died, having his back broken and looking defiantly into the face of death and making it blink – was just a really messed up dream. He would’ve been happy to wake up to either the sound of his pack howling or of Fluttershy tending to her other animals. 
But nope. The sting of the bruises he got from the Timber Wolves were still there. So was the feeling of his new scarf; a small comfort for the agony in his heart. He had barely even noticed them until he had collapsed. Not just from physical exertion, but emotional fatigue. Now, he had been pulled from the blissful emotionless state of sleep for… what?
A tap on his leg made him flinch. “Logan!” 
He looked up with bleary eyes to see the Mane Six standing over him. They all looked rather subdued for the most part, with the exception of Applejack, who looked irritated. 
Logan stood and stretched, his back creaking ominously. He straightened and stared at them, waiting for their first move. 
Silence reigned for the first few minutes.
“Um…” Twilight managed a weak smile, “So, you can control lightning?”
Logan fixed her with an unblinking, flat expression. Her hopeful expression crumbled, and her ears plastered against her skull as Logan’s eyes seemed to bore into hers. She looked away, one hoof rubbing at the other. Only then did Logan move, turning away from them and heading into the Ever-Free. 
“Hold on,” Applejack said, going after him. “We gotta talk.” 
“Nothing worth talking about,” Logan replied, his voice dead and monotone.
“Yeah?” Applejack demanded, “How about you scaring my sister half to death yesterday!” 
Logan paused. 
“She was in her room crying half the day. And when I asked her about it, she only managed a few words about you!”
Logan didn’t reply. 
“What happened?” Applejack asked sternly, “What did you do?”
Logan turned around, his stare turned into a glare. “I saved her life,” he growled, “She got attacked by timber wolves. I saved her.”  
Applejack’s anger deflated, and she gave a soft nod, slowly piecing together how he would have gotten to such a situation in her head. 
“You know, Logan,” she said softly, “I was there before too.” 
He fixed her with the same unblinking stare that had cowed Twilight. But Applejack did not back down.   
“I felt that same helplessness where you don’t know what to do,” she continued, “When ya can’t tell yourself, things are okay, because they’re not? When you cling to any hope you get that your parents are there, only for it to get taken away.” 
Logan’s gaze didn't show anger, nor understanding. He just seemed to passively listen. Applejack swallowed nervously before taking a breath. But Logan beat her to the punch. 
“You’re going to say I shouldn’t have been fighting wolves anyway, right?” he asked.
Applejack’s response died in her throat for a second.
“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” he growled, his voice turning hostile. 
“You find something that keeps you going,” Applejack replied. “And ya stick to it. No matter what.” Logan paused at that. “I don’t know if hunting works that way for you, but… it was how I got through what happened to my folks. I just… threw myself into my work and my farm, and…” She touched her chest with her hoof. “The pain never really went away. But… in time, I stopped thinking about the fact that they were dead, and started remembering the better times. The lessons they taught; the people whose lives they made better.”
Logan’s ears flicked as he considered her advice.
“And I can’t say I didn’t still feel hurt that they weren’t there, but… I guess I got used to carrying it,” she finished. “I don’t know if that’ll be what happens with you. Hay, I don’t really know that much about earth wolves. But…” 
Logan gave the softest of nods as he looked away, probably pondering what kind of goal could keep him going now. 
For a moment, the group was silent again. Logan seemed to just sit there, thinking, while the others tried to think of what else they could say. Applejack had said her piece, but he hadn’t given her anything to work with. After the silence stretched on for a minute, Rainbow Dash cleared her throat.
“Okay, maybe I’m missing something here, but from what Princess Celestia told us… you could at least thank her.” Logan looked up at her, anger flickering in his eyes. “Dude, she saved your life!”
Thunder boomed overhead. Logan walked towards her, his eyes glowing ominously. “She killed my mother,” he said softly, “She keeps me from the last of my pack, and I should thank her?” 
“Logan, please, that’s not what she meant!” Twilight begged, getting in between him and Rainbow Dash.
Thunder rumbled overhead as Logan’s glare didn’t falter. Rainbow Dash normally wasn’t one to back down from a fight, but with Twilight as the only barrier she had, she actually started to back up from the look of almost murderous rage on Logan’s face. 
“I-I know we don’t have cars here,” Twilight got out, “But there have been times where carriages hit ponies. Most of them are fatal. Wouldn’t you rather be alive here than dead on Earth?”
Logan didn’t even hesitate. “I’d rather be dead.” 
Twilight gasped at his answer, as did the others. 
“Logan, how can you say that? Your life is precious…!” 
“So, my mom’s life isn’t precious?” Logan asked. Thunder rumbled again. “My pack’s lives aren’t precious?” 
“No, I didn’t mean…”
“They’re all dead because of me!” Logan snapped, though his voice cracked as he said it. “My mom’s dead because I’m here!”  
“So, you’d rather have her experience losing you forever?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“YES!” Logan bellowed, knocking the mares off their hooves with his voice alone. “Because thanks to Celestia, she and my pack lost me in a way that’s even worse!” His reasonable voice was still whispering, Innocent-innocent, but these guys weren’t pups. They should know better. 
“You claim to be smart, Sparkle. Use that brain of yours and THINK! If I was pulled into Equestria, that means there’s no trace of me back home. Right?”
Twilight frowned, glancing away, but nodded. “Y-Yeah. Based on what the Princess told me… I think so.”
“Do you honestly think my pack would react well to me just vanishing?” Logan demanded, “They’re my pack; they don’t know where I went, and that’s worse than knowing I’m dead and it was someone’s fault.” He closed his eyes and breathed again. When he spoke again, it wasn’t the bellowing howl, but it was wrought with enough fiery anger to melt an ice cap. “If I had died by the humans, then they’d at least know. Mom could’ve grieved, looked for payback, answers… something!” As he looked up, his voice rose as well. “But this? Me in Equestria? She was only left with questions. What happened? Where did I go? Above all that, why? From her point of view, I just walked off. Maybe I got killed, and the humans dissolved my remains. Maybe I left because she somehow did something that made me hate her. She'd be scared, worried out of her mind... she'd do something like...” His head bowed, and his voice lowered again while he clutched at his scarf. “She’d still be alive right now if I hadn't driven her mad with worry. Sure, she’d be hurting, but she’d at least be alive!” 
Logan turned again to Applejack. “How would you feel if Apple Bloom disappeared all of a sudden?” He turned to Rarity. “How would you feel if Sweetie Belle just vanished without a trace? No indication as to why or how? They just stopped existing?”
Applejack and Rarity’s eyes widened. Rarity actually looked back, restraining a need to check on her sister, while Applejack shook her head. 
“That,” she admitted, “Would be just about the worst thing I could imagine…”
“Oh, you don’t have to imagine it happening. It did happen! And it happened barely a month after my entire pack suffered the loss of my father; the Greatest Alpha they ever had. Celestia didn’t save me; she ripped my pack apart, broke their spirit, and turned their remaining days into a living Hell!” 
The six just stared in silence. Not even a breath could be heard. Twilight’s mouth was moving, silently mincing words she couldn’t say. Probably wanting to tell Logan he was being foolish, or that what he was saying wasn’t true. 
But she couldn’t say it. Because it was true. 
Logan turned at Rainbow Dash again. “And you think I should THANK her?!” 
Dash looked down. “Okay,” she admitted, “I guess…"
“You guess?” Logan growled. “Fuck you.”
Rainbow Dash flinched, lowering herself to the ground and looking away with shame. Logan, however, just turned away.
“If I had died,” he whispered. “Things would’ve been better.”
Fluttershy then walked up behind him. Her foreleg touched his shoulder. “That’s not true, Logan,” she whispered, “I’m glad I got to meet you; I’m glad you’re not dead.”
For a second, his paw touched her foreleg. Then he brushed it off. He started to walk away from her. As Fluttershy gave a small gasp at his cold response, Rarity raced up next to her. 
“Stop! Darling, please stop this!” Rarity said, walking after him. “You can’t keep shutting yourself away. You need someone to help you through this… tragic time.” She stood next to him. “It’s never a problem to listen when your friends need an ear.”
“You’re not pack,” Logan growled. He hesitated, seeing the hurt blossom across Rarity’s face like a fresh bruise before shaking his head. “Celestia took me from my pack. She’s making you guys replace them. Now one of them’s dead.” He looked away. “She’s dead because I…” he muttered.
“I know we’re not your pack,” Fluttershy said. “And we won’t ever be exactly like them.” She moved closer. “We’re not trying to take their place, Logan. We just want to help.”
Logan was silent at that, looking down in contemplation. He deflated with a sigh, "You wanna help?” he asked, “Tell Celestia my life doesn’t matter, and that she should let me at least try to get home.” 
Twilight shook her head. “Logan,” she said softly. “You know we can’t do that.”
“Why not?!” Logan snapped, “I’ve made it clear what I think about you. I’m not going to let some coward’s fear keep me from…”
“From what?” Rarity demanded, “Killing yourself?”
Logan glared at her, and sighed in resignation, his eyes closing. But when they opened, they noticed his eyes were twinkling with something other than grief. 
“Kill myself? No,” he said. As the other relaxed, he continued. “As long as there’s breath in my body and a goal in my mind, I’m gonna keep fighting.”
Applejack gave a faint smile and nod at that. Which, sadly, led to another stretch of silence as everyone searched for something else to say.
Pinkie finally broke the silence. “But… what are you going to fight for?” Logan looked at her. “I mean… now that you can’t go back…”
“Oh, I can go back,” Logan glanced back out at the forest, his expression thoughtful. “There’s others,” he said, “Other people like Celestia. Unicorns. Other species. Maybe someone braver… hopefully with the right balance of ethics…”
Applejack’s grin faded to horror. “Logan…” she started to say.
“You said ‘find something to stick to,’” he reminded her, turning away. “Well, this is what I want to throw myself into.” He looked up at the mountains beyond the Ever-Free. “Celestia may not have the balls to go through with it, but she did make the portal and my mom did make it through. That means that it can be done.”
“Not by just any unicorn!” Twilight protested, “I don’t even think I’m capable…”
“I don’t care,” Logan replied, already strutting deeper into the forest. “I’m going to find them. I'll find a way back. Back to my pack.” His eyes lit up. “My mom may be gone, but I haven’t seen the others fall yet. And if even one member of my pack is still alive out there, I’ll find them. I won’t give up on them.”
“Logan, no!” Twilight yelled. She blasted a bubble spell with her horn, but he easily reflected it with his lightning. He smirked at them as they backed up, lightning crackling around his form.
“You really think you’re capable of stopping me?” he asked again. 
“Logan,” Pinkie pleaded, “Don’t do this. You may not see us as friends, but what about the Crusaders? They’ll be devastated.”
Logan did pause at that. The lightning around him dimmed.
“Are you really just going to abandon them without another word?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Logan took a breath, but his smile didn’t return. He didn’t speak, however. He tilted his head… and howled.
His howl wasn’t hopeful caution. It wasn’t morose sorrow. It wasn’t even joyful defiance. It was pure determination. 
As his howl built up to a bark, lightning suddenly struck his form. Smoke billowed everywhere, and the ponies fell back, coughing and struggling to see. 
“Logan!” Twilight yelled, racing into the smoke. 
“Get back here, you crazy canine!” Rainbow shouted, racing after her.
But the young wolf was gone. Not even a patch of fur was left. And, as the mares tried to split up to search, they heard his voice, impossibly surrounding them, as the forest itself seemed to echo with his song. If any pony in Ponyville didn’t hear it, they had to be deaf.

“Too bad it all went wrong. 


I gotta know what’s going on


You guys were helping me


But I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

As the mares tried to go further into the forest, the trees began their dance again, leaning further than they should have been capable of. Bushes grew from the forest floor, blocking the mares off, and slowly driving them back. 

I gotta search; I gotta fight


I’m gonna fight with all my might


Getting home; checking out


You’re in my way; sorry, but I’m out

The howl sounded again, echoing all over Ponyville. Lightning flashed through the sky, forcing Rainbow and Fluttershy back to the ground. And eventually, with the howl of determination ringing in their ears, the mares were forced to retreat from the forest. 

“Don’t judge me; cuz you know what’s inside me


I’ll search, land, sky and sea


Never gonna give in; never gonna give up no.


If I can’t take a risk, then I’m never gonna win it. 


Can’t give up; gotta fight it


Never giving up, never giving in no…

The last to leave was Fluttershy. And when she looked back at the forest as it danced with his howl of determination, her expression wasn’t sadness or pain. It was hope.
“Good luck, Logan,” she whispered, “I hope, wherever you go, you find peace.” 
He paused, as if he could hear her… and then howled his final line. 

Thanks for everything, but I’m free.”