//------------------------------// // Chapter 11 - Sorry // Story: One or the Other // by Blind Alley //------------------------------// When the clock struck noon, I was sitting cross legged in the middle of my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest, and nursing a dull ache in my horn. After Apple Bloom had left to find Scootaloo, I'd managed to drag myself into the shower, and then get dressed in a simple white blouse and purple patterned skirt. My hair and tail were still a little damp, and I hadn't bothered to style them at all. Last night I'd wanted to look my best for the mares I was crushing on, so I'd spent an extra long time trying to make myself look good. I don't think either of them even noticed. Even if they had, it didn't really matter anymore. I hugged the pillow a little tighter. Why? Had it all just been the salt? But Scootaloo had been so eager. If I closed my eyes I could still imagine the feel of her hands all over me. She'd kissed me so hard and she'd just been about to play with my chest when Apple Bloom had interrupted. Later she'd gotten under my nightie. If we hadn't woken Apple bloom up who knows how far we would have gone! I'd been so carried away that I probably would have let Scootaloo do anything to me. Scootaloo didn't feel the same way, though, did she? Neither of them did. It'd been too much to hope for after all. What were the odds of my friends feeling the same way about me as I did about them? One of the lessons at the school teaches that a friendship, a close friendship, is a kind of love. And love is a powerful, magical thing. It's love that gave the Elements their power, that freed the changelings from their horrible hunger, and that makes the bonds between friends so special. But what we don't teach, is what a pony is supposed to do when shes not sure if it's friendship love anymore. What if it's love love. Capital 'L' Love. Princess Cadance love, not Princess Twilight love. What is she supposed to do then? How does she make it go back to being friendship? Would it just go away if she ignored it, or was it too late to fix it by the time she noticed it? Had I already ruined what we used to have? Could I even follow my calling without them by my sides? Maybe Scootaloo was right, and it would be better if we forgot all about it. Maybe if we all agreed to go on with everything like this entire disaster never happened, then we could be friends again. Maybe if I tried really, really, really hard, I could fall for somepony else instead. Maybe… The bell on the front door of the Boutique jingled. I mentally kicked myself for forgetting to lock it. Thank Celestia that Rarity would never know. I'd already caught Tartarus for that before and once was plenty. I hugged my pillow tighter as footsteps approached my room, reaching true “death grip” status on the poor thing. Three light knocks came on the guest room door. “Sweetie? Y'all in there?” I swallowed the lump in my throat as best I could to make way for a little, trembling breath. “Come-- come in.” Apple Bloom pushed the door in gently, first just enough to look in, then wide enough for her to step inside. Behind her, following a few slow, guilty steps behind, was an orange pegasus. If my pillow was alive it wouldn't have stayed that way for long. “I, uhh, I found Scootaloo.” For some reason she went a little flushed in the cheeks when she said that. Whatever caused it didn't stop her from reaching back and tugging Scootaloo out into the middle of the room by her arm. “And she's got sumthin' she needs to tell ya.” Scootaloo kept her eyes on the carpet while she rubbed her arm where Apple Bloom had yanked on it. “I'm sorry,” she mumbled. “For--” I had to stop and clear my throat for how hoarse I was. All that crying was going to have me sore for hours. “For what?” “Freaking out. And for saying that we should forget about, y'know, all that stuff we did.” “And?” Apple Bloom prodded. Scootaloo grimaced. “And for starting everything in the first place. And not thinking about how you felt.” “And?” “Oh for-- Apple Bloom!” “And!?” “Ugh, and for accidentally--” Apple Bloom nudged her shoulder sharply. “And for making out with Apple Bloom when she found me just now.” She shot our earth pony friend a nasty look. “Because telling her that will totally make her feel better.” I flicked my eyes back and forth between my best friends, trying to work out how I was supposed to feel about everything I'd just heard. Scootaloo had freaked out? What did that mean? Had she not meant everything she'd said that morning? Had she been just as confused as me? They made out? “You made out?” The color came back to Apple Bloom's cheeks with a vengeance. “It was her fault but… yeah, yeah we kinda did.” Her words might as well have twisted a knife in my stomach. Did that mean they were together? Were they going to leave me behind? Maybe it would be better that way. At least then they could be happy. I could never have what I wanted but as, long as they were happy, maybe that didn't matter. “I get it. I'm… happy for you.” “Huh?” Apple Bloom's eyes went wide. Her hands flew up and waved back and forth frantically. “No, no, it ain't like that! Er-- Scootaloo was callin' me a liar for sayin' I didn't like mares and--” “'Cause it's a load of horseapples. Wait, my fault?” Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an incredulous look. “How was that my fault? You pinned me to a tree!” “Next thing I know she's shovin' her tongue in my mouth.” “And she liked it.” “And--!” Apple Bloom's shoulders sagged. She slumped against my dresser like a puppet with half its strings cut. “And I liked it,” she said in a very small voice. I dropped the pillow. “But I thought you didn't--” “Yeah, well, somepony wouldn't take that fer an answer.” Scootaloo had the grace to look guilty about being so intrusive. “Heh, uh, sorry. But you started that one. At least you admit you like mares now.” “Er, I-- uh…” “You've got to be kidding me! What the hay--!” “Stop it!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo flinched when my voice cracked like it hadn't done in years. “Stop fighting! I'm sorry, okay!? Just forget it ever happened! Just-- Just stop! I just wanted--” I flattened my ears and pulled my arms and legs tighter around myself. “I just wanted to--” “Sweetie, I'm--” I let my head drop to my knees. We fight a lot, we always have. I've started my fair share of our fights, but right now? Right now I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't stand the idea of us hurting each other because what if that was it? The last straw? Fresh tears brimmed at the corners of my eyes. We couldn't be together right now. I couldn't take it. “Go away.” The room was quiet. I kept my head down and waited, waited for some kind of sign that my friends were leaving. Part of me wanted them to go and leave me alone to wallow. Another part was terrified they'd leave and never speak to me again. A floorboard creaked under footsteps muffled by plush carpeting and flattened ears. My heart sank. They were really going. Because I told them to. What was wrong with me!? My ears shot straight up with my head hot on their heels when the mattress sank a little under added weight. My friends settled in on either side of me, Apple Bloom on my right, Scootaloo on my left, putting me smack dab between them. They were so close I could feel their warmth. “No way.” “Ain't happenin'” “Cutie Mark Crusaders forever.” “No matter what.” “I know I messed up big time.” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her neck just like Rainbow Dash does. “I mean, your sisters are gonna kill me if they ever find out I ran out on you and turned Apple Bloom gay…” “You did not!” “Suuuper gay.” I bit my lip. I wasn't ready to laugh yet but Scootaloo was pushing it. I let go of my legs and slowly uncurled myself from the fetal position I'd gotten into while they went on. “Point is, Sweetie, y'all are stuck with us. I know it's gonna take us a while ta work everythin' out, but we ARE gonna work it out. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” Scootaloo mimicked the motions. “Pinkie Promise. Now Rainbow Dash will have Pinkie's help when she beats me up if I run out on you again.” “You told Rainbow Dash!?” I squeaked. “No! She just kinda guessed from the way Apple Bloom was after me, and the way I was bummed out. She even guessed about the salt!” I saw Apple Bloom about to snap something and got there first. “Can we please not fight right now?” She just sighed. “What're we gonna do now?” Nopony had an answer to that. Scootaloo raised her right hand, slow and uncertainly, and rested it on my left shoulder. Moments later Apple Bloom did the same on the other side. My shoulders sagged under the gentle pressure like it was squeezing the tension out of me. My fingers twisted and fidgeted together in my lap. Once again, I had no idea what to do with my hands. “We'll figure it out, right?” I asked. “We'll still be friends, won't we?” Scootaloo's wing stretched out to rest across my back. “We have to. You girls are the best friends I've ever had. I can't lose either of you.” “Me neither.” “Ya won't.” I pulled my hands apart and put them over the ones resting on my shoulders. “Thank you.”