beep beep beep
Huh? Was that… No, just a dream.
beep beep beep
“You gotta be louder.”
Beep Beep Beep
Not a dream… Pinkie Pie, then.
“No, no, louder!”
“That was louder!”
“Here, you gotta do it like this. BEEP BE-”
“I’m up!” I shout as I fall off the couch. “No more beeping, please. I’m getting- Fluttershy?”
“Good morning, Strawberry,” Fluttershy says grinning at me. “Did you sleep well?”
“Uh, yeah,” I reply. “But uh, why are you in my room?”
“I told Fluttershy she could wake you up since she was here,” Pinkie says. “Well, try to wake you up.” Fluttershy nods along with her.
“Okay…” I mumble. “So why am I awake?”
“Oh! Right,” Fluttershy says. “I came over to ask Pinkie if I could take you somewhere today.”
“Apparently Fluttershy had an idea for how to get through to you,” Pinkie adds. “Which, by the way, you’re in trouble for not telling me you told Fluttershy!” She huffs and frowns at me.
“What am I, grounded?” I ask.
“You sure are!” Pinkie says. “I’ll figure out what you’re actually grounded from later. But for now you gotta do everything Fluttershy says.” Both ponies smirk at me.
“Yeah, I know,” I say. “What tests do you have to run on me today?”
“That’s a surprise,” Fluttershy says. “I hope you’re ready for a long trip. Oh, um, would you be okay turning into a Pegasus? It would be an awfully long trip on foot.”
“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem,” I say. “Apparently Rainbow Dash already knew about me, so I can just pretend to be her.”
“What!?” Pinkie exclaims. “Well, now you’re double grounded! You better be ready when you get back.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll prepare myself for the biggest ‘you’re grounded’ party I’ve ever seen,” I say with a smirk.
Then we’re in the air, the biting winds blowing away the last traces of sleep. We keep a comfortable, leisurely pace for the trip. Slow enough for me to get my first good look at the colorful world below me, vibrant blues and greens stretching to the horizon, an endless gallery of landscapes.
“So are you really not gonna tell me where we’re going?” I ask after a bit.
“Well, we’re going to a pond,” she tells me. “It’s very pretty.”
“Okay, well that doesn’t help at all.”
She laughs. “Hey, let’s play a game! It is a long trip, after all.”
“A game?” I ask. “What kind?”
“Not a hard one,” she tells me. “Just questions. We take turns asking each other questions, and we have to tell the truth. If you can’t answer, you lose. Easy, right?”
“This feels like a trap,” I say.
“Maybe. But Pinkie said you have to do what I want. So, you go first.”
I sigh. “Okay, uh, what’s your favorite food?”
“Oh, it’s no fun if you don’t try to win,” she says. “It’s peaches. My turn now. Why did you make yourself so small?”
“It was just instinct,” I say. “I guess probably to look less dangerous.”
“Ooh, interesting,” she coos. “You’re really very instinctual, much more than ponies tend to be. Okay, your turn. Um, really try to win, okay? It’s fun!”
“I’ll try,” I concede. “Okay, what about this one, do you have feelings for any of your friends?”
“Ooh, that’s much better,” she says. “Okay, um, well, I really… enjoy my time with Pinkie Pie.” She looks over to me, smiling through a deep blush, and I smile back. “Oh, you can’t tell her though!” she suddenly shouts, covering her glowing face. I chuckle and nod.
“Okay, my turn!” Fluttershy says after cooling down. “Um, if you, hypothetically, decided to try as hard as you can to be good, and it worked, and you settled down in Ponyville with us… Would you be happy?”
I look down at the ground scrolling past under us. That’s a lot of caveats. But would I? It takes me several long, quiet minutes to work through that in my head. Eventually, though, I look back up and tell her “Yeah.”
Fluttershy claps and hugs me without warning. “Yay!” she exclaims.
“Okay, my turn,” I say, peeling away from her. “If, hypothetically, this all goes very wrong, and you all get hurt so bad you can never speak to each other again. Could you be happy? Like, ever again?”
Fluttershy frowns. “What a sad thing to think,” she says. “See, Strawberry, those kinds of thoughts are, um, they’re just not healthy. This is why you need friends, being alone all your life with nopony to stop those thoughts, it’s… Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be preaching like that. I almost ruined the game! Yes, Strawberry, I could be happy again. Nothing could ever take that away from me.”
I sigh and nod. She hugs me again. I let her.
“Well, um, I think it’s my turn,” she tells me after she pulls away. “Strawberry, what do you want from all this? If you took away all your negative thoughts, your beliefs about how things are bound to happen, what do you actually want at the end of this?”
I hum, turning the question over and over in my head. What do I want? How do I answer that? Do I even have an answer? Questions upon questions.
“I don’t think I can answer that, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy grins. “See, not such an easy game, is it?” she taunts. “Don’t worry, you can try again on the way back, and try to be less, um, serious. Look, though. We’re here!”
She points down at the ground. It takes some looking, but sure enough, there’s a tiny spot of blue hidden in some trees. It’s hardly big enough to even be called a pond.
“We came all this way for a puddle?” I ask as we land by the water. It’s dark and murky, a bottomless depth hidden in the clouds under the surface. The forest around us lays silent as we intrude.
“Strawberry, don’t be rude,” Fluttershy says. “The pond is somepony’s home.”
“What, fish? Is it even big enough for fish?”
Fluttershy grins and gently swirls one hoof along the water, then steps back by me and waits. “We’re here to meet a friend,” she says.
I watch the ripples as they expand, crossing the pond. They fan out and subside, and just as the water goes smooth again, the surface starts to shudder. Bubbles and waves mark the shore as a creature slowly emerges from the waters and faces us.
The pony in front of me is massive, muscles rippling against a pale green coat. Easily twice my normal size, it pushes the boundaries of what could be called a pony. A mane of seaweed drips down its side as it appraises us with large, colorless eyes.
I leap into the air away from it as soon as it reaches land. “Fluttershy, are you trying to kill me?” I shout. “That thing could rip me apart!”
Fluttershy huffs and glares at me. “Get back down here,” she demands. “You are being horribly rude.”
The kelpie looks at Fluttershy strangely, and when it opens its mouth, the thousand voices of a drowned legion fills the air. “Your friend Rainbow Dash was far more sociable during your last visit, was she not?”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Fluttershy responds. “It’s, um, a complicated situation. We can explain once they actually come down here.”
I swallow hard and float back down, landing behind Fluttershy.
“Okay, now turn back into yourself,” Fluttershy tells me.
“But-” she glares at me again. “Fine,” I say, becoming Strawberry Tart once more.
The kelpie widens its eyes. “Oh, well that is certainly an unexpected development. Fluttershy, when did you meet this one?”
Fluttershy sighs and smiles. “Um, just the other day. They’re convinced that monsters can’t live peacefully, so I thought…”
“Wait, Fluttershy,” I say, “are you saying that you-”
The kelpie stamps a hoof on the ground. “Yes!” it declares. “Fluttershy has been my friend for many years now.”
Fluttershy smiles at me and goes to sit on the ground near the kelpie, motioning for me to join her. Hesitantly, I do, and the kelpie sits as well. “Well, um, go ahead,” she tells us. “Introduce yourselves.”
“Oh,” I say. “Well, I’m Strawberry Tart I guess. Fluttershy’s newest pet project.”
The kelpie laughs, a chorus of a hundred final breaths. “I was her first!” it says. “I have no name, as none would suit me. I am a creature born of the undercurrent of this world. ‘It’ will suffice. Tell me, shapeshifter, what has led Fluttershy to bring us together?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble. “I guess she wants me to get over feeling like I’m dangerous?”
“Hmm,” the kelpie hums, the groan of a ship in a storm. “Strawberry Tart, when do you think was the last time that I got my nourishment from a pony?”
“Well, you said you’ve known Fluttershy for a while. So maybe, like, five years?” I guess.
“It was yesterday.”
My jaw falls. Fluttershy gasps. “Oh, no,” she says, “what happened?”
“There was a shipwreck,” it says. “One did not survive. It is as happens in this world.”
“Oh, how awful,” Fluttershy says. “You saw the others back to shore, right?”
“Of course, Fluttershy,” the kelpie says. “No need for more to succumb to the waves.”
“So, what’s your point?” I ask.
“I am a kelpie,” it tells me. “This cannot change. My instincts draw me to the vulnerable. I prey on the drowned to subsist. These things cannot be changed. They are a part of me. Yet, I am not a danger. I do not kill. I do not lure ponies into the depths. I am dangerous, yes, but I am no danger. These things, both, can hold truth.”
“Hmm,” I hum. “But did you do that stuff before Fluttershy met you? Maybe you just never really became a monster in the first place.”
“I assure you, I was a monster,” it says. “The darkness does not await the light. To fight one’s nature is no small battle. It is a revolution.”
“If it’s so hard, how can you expect me to do it?” I ask.
“I do not,” it says. “This fight is one of willpower. The only way to fail, ultimately, is to give in. You, shapeshifter, have not shown even the will to begin.”
“Well, that’s a bit harsh,” Fluttershy interjects. “Strawberry, I still believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself.”
I look at the ground. “I don’t know,” I say. “I’m still not convinced. For all I know, you could have been lying to Fluttershy all this time just to lure her into your pond here.”
Fluttershy frowns at me. “Strawberry, I’ve known the kelpie for years. That’s a long time to lie like that.”
“No, it is an understandable point,” the kelpie says. “It would not be efficient, but it would work.”
Fluttershy thinks for a moment before standing up. “Fine,” she says, “if that’s what it takes, I’ll prove it.”
“Wait, Fluttershy,” I say, but before I can protest further, she leaps into the air and dives into the water. She vanishes instantly into the murky depths. The kelpie gets up after her, and my legs start moving, running and diving into the water before the creature can make a move.
I pry my eyes open underwater, but all that I find is a stinging darkness. The filthy water engulfs me, shooting an excruciating pain through my face. The pain knocks the wind out of me, stealing the little air I had in my lungs, and immediately my legs feel hot and sluggish.
I swim forward blindly, grasping at water, hoping to at least find the bottom. Any point of reference in the encroaching void. My chest starts to burn, my muscles feel stiff. My mind buzzes and spins. I push through it.
The bottom never comes. No ground, no walls, no surface, no Fluttershy. Just water. Water, pain, and… hooves? Something wrapping around my waist, dragging me. Fluttershy? Or… No, not Fluttershy.
My mind goes blank. It’s over. I give up.
My entire world goes hazy. First my senses, my vision going black, my limbs numbing. I stop feeling the water rush past me, the grasp around my waist. Then my thoughts go. No fear, but also no acceptance. No turmoil, yet no peace. No despair. No hope.
I look for refuge in my memories, fresh ones, of Ponyville, of Pinkie. Memories of… no, what was her name again? I can’t quite picture her face. Just a shape, a color. A color? Blue, or yellow, or… just dark. Just darkness.
For so long, just darkness.
Then light. Blinding, incandescent. Followed by noise, a buzzing, color, a blue sky, a yellow shape, and finally thought, recognition. Fluttershy, soaked, filling my eyes.
And then the pain. I double over and retch, coughing out a throat full of dirty water. My whole body is on fire, my chest, my eyes, my muscles. Too much to handle all at once, so I just curl up, try to tighten everything at once, force the pain away. A hoof rests on my side, rubbing, calming, relaxing, and I drift back into the darkness.
The next time I wake up is easier. Hushed voices hum in my ear as I realign my world. The pain doesn’t wait this time, taking me immediately, but it’s manageable. I can think. With a groan I wake myself up and try to push off the ground, before coughing violently and collapsing again.
“Oh, Strawberry!” a voice calls out as it rushes towards me. “Thank goodness you’re alright, I was so worried.” I roll myself over painfully to look at her, and Fluttershy fills my vision once more. She’s smiling, as always, but her eyes are damp and tired.
“This was a bit much, you know,” another voice calls out, and soon Rainbow Dash blocks the remaining sky. “I told you to try, not die.”
“I’m sorry,” I groan out.
“Just get better,” Rainbow Dash tells me, “so I can kick your butt.”
“Fluttershy is okay?”
“Dude, you think you’d be here if she wasn’t?” Rainbow Dash says.
“I’m perfectly fine,” Fluttershy tells me. “Just shaken up. I came right back out of the water, and you were both gone.”
“Where’s the kelpie?” I ask.
“It didn’t want to stay,” Fluttershy says. “It’s not very good with things like this.”
“Oh,” I say, and cough again. “So which one of us do you think Pinkie is gonna be mad at?”
Fluttershy laughs, a soft, weak laugh. A welcome laugh.
It takes us several hours to get back to Ponyville. Between slow movement, frequent breaks, and my needing support, we don’t reach home until well after dark. I’m about ready to pass out again when we arrive, but I don’t have them take me home quite yet.
“Are you sure this can’t wait for tomorrow?” Fluttershy asks.
“The light’s on,” I say.
“But you need rest,” Fluttershy protests. “If you strain yourself you could get hurt.”
“I’m already hurt,” I reply.
“C’mon, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash says. “Let them do things on their own terms.”
I knock on the door as the two fly off. It’s not long before a tired pony answers the door.
“Strawberry?” Rarity asks. “It’s awfully late. Are you- Oh my word, are you okay? You look just dreadful.”
I nod and attempt to smile, then cough and stumble. “I’m alright,” I say. “I, uh… Rarity, there’s something important I need to talk to you about.”