//------------------------------//
// 99 Problems 
// Story: Stalker - Call Of Pony 
// by SureFreeD 
//------------------------------//

Nikolai pushed open the throne doors, tha guards on the sides quickly grabbed him as an intruder. 

"Release him!" Celestia spoke loudly, they obeyed and loosened their grip, but they were still watching him, very closely.

"Thank you 'Tia." Nikolai dusted himself off. The guards both gasped at the nickname.

"Your highness, he has used the name that only your sister Princess Luna is permitted!" one of them said.

"Don't worry, we have become close friends." she winked at Nikolai.

"So Nicky, you are moving into Ponyville right?" Celestia stood from her seat and approached Nikolai.

"Yes, I'm thinking about getting a new house, but I should work for mo-" 

"Do not worry, this should cover the best accomodation in Ponyville, also any kind of furniture, remember, just don't burn down anything." she smiled and pecked him on the cheek.

"See you soon Nicky!" 

Celestia's horn began to glow, and Nikolai disspated from the throne room.

"Tia, you greedy pony." commented Luna, who was sitting quietly throughout the entire time.

"What can I say?" Celestia shrugged.

__

Nikolai dropped his feet on a royal carriege, with a big wooden chest on it. In front of the carriege, two royal pegasus guards were hooked onto it.

"Sir Nikolai, proceed, we will take you to Twilight Sparkle's house, she will be surprised to see you. That chest is what Princess Celestia has given you." the left one said.

"Right-o." Nikolai stepped in, and the carriege began to levitate.

'Right-o? You sound like a Englishman, or Scotsman.'

'You want a conversation or something?'

'That'd be great!'

'Fine.'

'What are you gonna do when you get a new house?'

'Je nem pas.'

'Since when did you learn French?'

'Sixth grade.'

'That was like in 2024, how could you remember?'

'I don't.'

A minute went on as none of them spoke.

"Excuse me sir, what year are we?" Nikolai asked one of the pegasus ponies.

"It is 1011 sir, why do you ask?" he replied with a question.

"1011?! H-how is tha...no, it's like the first cave man wasn't invented!" 

'He wasn't invented dumbass.'

"First...cave man?" the guards looked at eachother.

'Ask 'em about phones and other electronics!'

"Do you ponies use electric devices?" he asked. The guards shook their heads in dissapproval. 

"Do you use electricity AT ALL?" he asked again, recieving the same response from them. Nikolai sighed and slumped on tye seat.

"Are you okay sir, do we need to make a stop?" one of the pegasi asked.

"No, no continue." 

Nikolai drove a hand through his thick hair.

'Back in time eh?'

'Then how do they got those street lamps, or light at all?!'

'Unicorn magic.'

'Shit!'

'Imma take out your tongue if you continue to spill the milk.'

'Whatever.'

'You are a power station yourself, no, you are probably the most overpowered piece of shit I've ever seen! Four times the sun, that's gotta be alot of bloody volts.'

'Now who's spilling the milk?' 

'I don't spill the milk, I drink it.'

'Uh-huh.'

Again silence filled the air, until the pegasi came to a stop.

"Sir Nikolai, we have arrived at Ponyville, take the chest and head for the library, which is in front of us." 

Nikolai took the chest and the guards flew off with the carriege.

He proceeded towards the library, he set down the chest and lightly knocked on the door. A series of hoofsteps followed by a crashing sound came from inside. There was weak mumbling, the door covered in a purple aura and opened. Inside was a mane-scratching Twilight.

"Sorry, but if you're here to borrow or return a book I cannot help you..." she stopped and looked up to the hoodied human.

"N...Nicky...? Is that...you?" her eyes widened and she stopped scratching her mane.

"Yes Twilight, it's me, I came back." (no pun intented)

She took a step back, only the to leap up into a very, very tight embrace. Happy tears were running down Twilight's cheeks. She was squealing in delight.

"Oh for Celestia's sake, where have you been?! I missed you SO much!" 

'Oh look, ze little pony misses you!'

'Now it's not the best time.'

'You should give me a name.'

'Later.'

Nikolai hugged back, but with less force than Twilight. 

"Where have you been all this time?" Twilight broke the hug.

"I was with 'Tia." he replied. Twilight tilted her head.

"Tia? Who's that?" she asked.

"Princess Celestia, shortened to Tia." 

'Surprise buttsecks.'

'What?'

'Turn around.'

Nikolai turned around, only to see a very, very, very widly grinning cyan pegasus, her eyes were practicly beaming with happiness, her snow white teeth almost reflecting the sun.

"Dashie?" 

She quickly tackled him to the ground, showering his neck and cheeks with kisses. 

"I'm happy to see you too Dashie." he hugged her.

'I got 99 problems but the bitch ain't won.'

'What?'

'Just a song that you heard a year ago.'

'There was a game with it right?'

'Yes, Battlefield three. You've played it for months.'

'It was awesome.'

'That's why you jizzed in your pants when you won the round.'

'I didn't.'

'Sure you haven't.'

'Shut up.'

'Ass.' 

Dash stopped kissing him and lifted her head up, smiling like never before.

"I knew you'd be back, you'll never leave me." she nuzzled him.

Someone, more like somepony rudely cleared their throat. It was Twilight, with a unamused look on her face. Since when did she need to be entertained? 

"Dash, you're outside, acting like an animal." she said, rudely.

"Are you calling me an animal!?" Dash stood up and faced Twilight, inches away from her face.

"Just saying." Twilight evily smirked. Dash huffed and faced Nikolai.

"Come on Nicky, let's go, we're wasting our time here." Dash raised her head proudly.

"I wanted to buy a new house, but it seems like I need a place to stay until they've set it up." he said, standing and dusting himself off. 

"You can stay at my place!" Dash almost yelled, that big grin appearing on her face again.

"Dashie, I can't fly, nor stay on clouds."

'What about your nuclear, light energy electricity thingie energy!?'

'Not yet, they might freak out or something.'

'What, by an overpowered bi-pedal?'

'Da.'

'Point.'

Dash's grin and sparkly eyes quickly disspated from her expression. 

"G-gosh, I guess you're right, where are you gonna stay then?" she asked, looking up to Nikolai.

"Maybe Twilight can lend me a few nights?" 

"Absolutely!" Twilight quickly replied.

"I'm staying where he is!" Dash stated.

"Ugh...fine, if only Nicky wants to share a bed with you." Twilight stuck out her tongue in fake disgust, in reality, she wants to do that.

"You don't mind me snuggling next to you?" Dash's grin appeared back again.

"Not at all, there's even something I want to show you."

'Your big penis?'

'Zip it.'

'Okay okay.'

"Oh how cool! I can't wait! Let's go in!" she flapped her wings and began hovering.

"Whoa, hold yer ponies, I haven't ordered the house yet." 

Dash grinned even wider, getting a few ideas about 'moving in' with Nikolai.