I looked down at the check in my hands. It was petty, but it would cover the medical bills.
I was going to need to call my contact soon.
I sighed and kept a steady pace towards the building that stood watch over the street.
I walked through the automatic doors when they opened. The nurse at the front desk looked up from her computer as I entered.
I smiled and waved at her, “Hey Debbie, is she awake?”
She smiled warmly in return, “Hello Jack, she's been up for an hour or so.”
I just shrugged and said, “Problems at work.”
I handed her the check, “This should cover us for awhile. Could you send it up to Dr. Nielsen for me?”
She took the check in her hands and looked it over. Once again her smile grew warm as she assured me, “Sure thing sweetie, now hurry along, Lissa has already been waiting long enough.
I nodded and headed for the stairs. It was always faster for me to use the stair instead of the elevator.
I stopped at the third floor and pushed past the stairwell door. As I walked towards my destination I smiled and nodded at the nurses and doctors that walked past. I was well known to most of them so the majority would respond with a smile in turn.
I finally stopped in front of a familiar door, Room 318.
I looked at the figure on the bed inside and knocked on the open door, “Hey sis, watcha up to?”
She turned toward me and I saw a grin light up her face, “Hey Jacky!”
I chuckled slightly and sat down on the bed right beside her.“So, how are we feeling today?”
Her grin grew wider as she replied, “Oh I feel fantastic! I was watching this show that had a bunch of colorful ponies!"
I chuckled once again, “Oh yeah? What was this show called.”
I looked into her eyes and saw the sky greet my gaze.
No doubt she was waiting to explain it to me, “It was called My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic!”
I laughed and shook my head, out of the corner of my eye I saw someone standing in the doorway. “Hey listen I’m gonna go talk to Dr. Nielsen, and when I get back you can tell me all about that show, alright?”
Her grin lowered slightly but it was no less as bright. She nodded her head energetically, "Alright, when you get back I'll tell you about the show alright?"
I stuck out my hand and playfully patted her on the head, "All right, it's a deal!"
I stood up and turned towards the door, any trace of a smile gone.
I closed the door behind me as I turned toward the other man, “What’s up Doc?”
Dr. Nielsen looked at the chart in his hand and promptly sighed, “Jack... I’m not going to lie... Lissa might be looking better but she needs an operation.”
I cursed under my breath as I knew what was coming, “What kind of operation?”
He looked down at the chart once again, “It's costly but it might help her.”
My face fell as I spoke, “When can you operate and when is the latest I can pay?”
Dr. Nielsen’s reply was my worst nightmare, “Tomorrow and the latest is by the end of the week.”
As I entered the room once again I kept my expression upbeat and peppy.
Lissa immediately knew something was wrong. Before I could even get to the matter she spoke first, "Tell me what's wrong."
The question was so blunt and straightforward that my smile faltered, but only for a second. I chuckled and replied, “Nothing at all!”
She stared into my eyes and I could feel any resolve I had fade. I held her gaze and tried to keep myself from giving in.
After a few moments I sighed, “You need an operation.”
Lisa knew what this meant, “Jack you can’t afford that, and don’t say you can just skip a few meals and miss a couple of luxuries. You live in a rat hole and you're so malnourished that you should be in the bed right next door!”
I felt myself get angry, "I'll be fine dammit! Please for once, let me be able to help someone I love!"
She turned her head from me and muttered, "What happened to Mom and Dad wasn't your fault."
"You think I don't tell myself that? Everyday I think 'Maybe if I had helped them' and what if I did? We could be back at home, a family for one more time."
I couldn't see her face but I could hear a sniffle and a muffled sob. I took this as my cue to leave.
I stood up and headed for the door.
I reached out for the handle.
"Live your life Jack... for me."
I didn't turn around, instead I stared at the door handle, "I'll get the money, everything will be fine."
With my parting word I opened the door and left.
I ran and I didn’t stop to look back.
My heart pounded in my chest as I went over the events that lead to my mad dash.
The hand-off had gone smoothly. The only part they hadn't figured was their runner to ditch them with the cash in tow.
I turned a corner and kept running through the rain.
I heard shouts behind me but they were soon drowned out by the noise of city traffic and the downpour. I turned right once again and continued down an alleyway.
I soon realised that it was a dead end, I could hear the shouts again but they were still incoherent.
Moving as quickly as I could, I moved a dumpster under a fire escape and started to climb.
Upon reaching the third floor the shouts soon became recognisable as words.
“Hey! Get back here!"
"You fucking rat bastard!"
"When we find you, your sorry ass is dead! You hear me... DEAD!”
I couldn’t stop to listen to anymore. I continued my insane run across the rooftops. I made sure of my footing for every step. With the rain one wrong move could lead to a very bad ending.
Soon I started to recognize my surroundings, quickly I crossed over to the nearest fire escape and climbed down
My running hadn’t been completely random.
I found myself once again in front of the hospital.
I ran past the doors and waited for the nurse to lower her magazine, “Hi! Is Dr. Nielsen in?”
The nurse was obviously surprised but still replied, “Yes, but Jack I need to tell you that-”
I had heard what I needed to and ran towards the stairwell. I took each step two or three at a time.
I burst through his door with the bag.
I threw it on his desk triumphantly, “There you go Doc. That should cover the procedure.” He picked it up and stared at it. But instead of opening it to check, he simply handed it back.
I took it, clearly dumbfounded, “But, what about...”
The doctor simply stared at me with what I prayed to not be sorrow.
After awhile he started to speak, “I’m sorry Jack, Lissa passed away shortly after you left yesterday.”
I stared at him, my brain either denying what he had said or unable to register the words.
"No."
With that I turned and ran from the room and headed back for the stairs.
“Jack! Come back!” Each word landed on deaf ears, for now my entire mind revolved around on that one word.
I continued my sprint down the stairs until I found myself on the floor where I knew she would be.
As I ran I kept my eyes on the numbers.
Finally I came to the door, Room 318.
I opened the door...
Only to find an empty white room.
I stared at the room while my mind couldn't deny the truth anymore.
She was gone.
Her.
She who was my life...
Dead.
What did that make me?
I could feel someone putting a hand on my shoulder.
I pushed it off and walked away from the room...
From the hospital...
From the memories...
I didn't have a destination in mind but my body apparently did.
I walked into a liquor store and grabbed a bottle.
Without looking at the price I threw a handful of twenty dollar bills at the cashier.
I twisted off the cap and took a large swallow of the drink.
I coughed as the drink burned my throat.
I stumbled into an alleyway as the alcohol hit my brain.
I sat against a wall and took another swig.
I felt tears form in my eyes.
They weren't from the strong drink.
The realization of what my life had become finally hit me.
I looked up at the raining sky.
It was crying.
Not for me.
No.
I don't deserve it.
I sat in the alleyway and let my tears mingle with the rain.
I started to sob.
All I could do was cry and wish it would all go away.
That was a mistake.
Because it did.