//------------------------------// // 1: Fluttershy tries to get Wilson wet // Story: Wilson takes a bath // by kapinder //------------------------------// (Don't you just love how misleading the chapter title is :D) The sun has risen and Fluttershy went to check on Wilson. "Wilson, you still alive?" "Go away," Wilson said talking into his pillow. "I feel like crap." "Well that's because you thought it was a good idea to be directly exposed to radiation," Fluttershy said, moving the blanket off of him. When she noticed his skin was a dark brown color, she scream and ran to a corner of the room. "Why are you yelling?" Wilson shouted while getting out of his bed. "You... your skin," Fluttershy said nervously. Wilson looked at his hoof and moved it around, knowing the dark brown color was cracking. "Hey... a layer of my skin turned into dirt," He said reaching for the knife. He scraped the knife against his skin saying, "Ahhhh!... just like shaving. Ahhh!... only with a knife. Ahhh!... bearly even hurts. Ahhh!... this knife is pretty sharp. Ahhh!... dang I cut myself that time. Ahhh!....... Ahhh!." Fluttershy noticed that every time he scraped off the dirt, the worse the room smelled. Coughing she said, "Wilson you smell worse and worse every time you do that. Take a bath." "Never!" Wilson demonically said. "Besides why should I? Ahhh!... this works too." "But you will not smell bad after getting rid of the dirt, unlike doing this," Fluttershy said almost throwing up. "Ahhh!... don't worry I know what to do," Wilson said reaching for an airfreshener and spraying it on himself. "There, now I smell like a... fresh summer breeze. Besides how would not taking a bath make my life any harder?" *One reason later* "Ahhh!... excuses," Wilson said leaving the house still shaving off the dirt. "I'm going to laugh my ass off when you have to shave the dirt off you dick," Ender said following Wilson. "Ahhh!... challange accepted." Hours of pain have ended from shaving off the dirt, inside his store, Wilson noticed a bright red button. He studied it for a few minutes and went on to say, "What do you think this button does?" "Well there is a note on top of it that says *Self Destruct Button, only a complete dumbass would push this*," Ender said. "Maybe it gives out free candy." "Candy!" Wilson delightfully shouted about to press the button. The door opened and in came Twilight, "Ugh Wilson... a lot of pegisi from Cloudsdale are saying the pollution is making them sick." "Thats stupid," Wilson said opening a vent, and shoving Twilight's head in it. "The pollution is perfectly fine." Twilight pulled her head out and started breathing heavily, "Are you... are you fucking insane?" "A little bit." "I should get Princess Celestia to confiscate this building from you." "That's not going to happen," Wilson said holding his sword to Twilight's neck. "Because if anypony tries to do anything to this building... I'm coming for you." Twilight teleported behind Wilson, "You really think that a sword scares me?" She asked laughing. "No," Wilson replied while shaking a can and spraying it on Twilight's face. "But this does." "Ahhh... what the hell is this, pepper spray?" Twilight said falling to the ground. "Oh sorry wrong can," Wilson said while pulling out another can and spraying it on Twilight's face. Twilight blinked a few times and noticed Ender walking up to her saying, "Hey... did you miss me?" "No not you again!" she screamed running out of the building. "Where are you going?" Ender asked chasing her. "I just want to rape you! ...Emotionally!" The day has passed and Wilson went home, but he noticed his front door open. Slightly parinoid thinking the Slenderpony was in his house waiting to attack, he pushed the door open with a stick. A bucket of soupy water fell to the ground, Fluttershy jumped out from behind a couch and said. "Aha!... Darn it missed you." "I will never bathe!" Wilson demonically said as his eyes turned black for a second. "It's almost been two weeks," Fluttershy replied getting a towel to clean up the water. "Air fresheners can only do so much." "Sure they will," Wilson said spraying an Air freshener on himself while closing the door to his room. "But you could get lice and crabs." "Crabs you say!" Wilson said opening his door and taking a step out. "...sounds awesome, crab legs go for about $12 a pound, and if they just randomly walk up to me, I could make a profit," He then closed his door. Being speechless, all Fluttershy could do was facehoof. The sun has risen and Wilson awoke coughing. "I fee like crap." "Good your awake," Fluttershy said throwing water on him from a bucket she was holding. "What the fu," Wilson said rolling out of bed, just dodging the water. "Good thing my bed sheets are waterproof." Fluttershy dropped the bucket, "Oh come on!" "Now if you could excuse me for a bit... I have to go and, Bleh!... deal with radiation sickness," Wilson said walking into the bathroom and throwing up. Fluttershy quickly closed the bathroom door and locked it, trapping Wilson in. When he tried to open it he said, "Fluttershy open the door, I have to go screw around with radiation." "I'll let you out once you take a bath," She said slightly laughing. "You do know there is a window in here right?" Wilson said opening a window and exiting the house. "I'll be back at around seven tonight. Bye" "Damn," Fluttershy said hitting the ground. "Ender did say free candy," Wilson said looking at the big red button. He was just about to push it, when Ender teleported in the building and said, "K, I'm back." "What I miss?" "Well she ran to her house or something, her pet named Spike got worried, got some colts from a hospital to put her in an insane asylum for the night. And I was screwing with her head constantly the whole time," Ender answered. "So... she won't say a word to me for about a week?" "Maybe two if your lucky." "Awesome," Wilson said switching the reactor from Alpha to Beta radiation. "I still don't see how radiation that isn't Gamma, could be harmful." "Maybe most of the ponies are parinoid," Ender said sitting in a chair near the corner of the room. "Or just high." A few hours have passed and then it happened. "Wilson," Fluttershy said entering the building with a fire hose, "I will not eat, sleep, take care of an animal, or anything else until you are clean." Wilson quickly thought of a way out of this. As he got on a gas mask, he opened a vent letting all of the smoke in the room. She was barely able to see anything, so she turned on the hose, and randomly sprayed it in different directions. As soon as she ran out of water, the door behind her closed. Coughing heavily trying to open the door she said, "Wilson... Wilson open the door I can't breath. Wilson please open the door." "Don't you think you should let her out?" Ender asked. "She will be fine," Wilson said. "Let me out!" Fluttershy scream. "Wilson I really thing you should..." "She is fine," Wilson said barricading the door with his body. "Wilson you really should open the door," Ender nervously said. "She is perfectly fi..." "Open the fucking door!" Ender shouted. "Fine," Wilson said opening the door and pulling Fluttershy out. There layed Fluttershy where she didn't make a single movement. Ender said, "Dude... you have to give her that kiss of life thing." "Where in sleeping beauty, was there are part about the filly almost sufficating from smoke?" Wilson asked. "No I mean like... CPR of something like that." "What does kissing have to do with CPR?" Wilson asked. "I know how CPR works... BREATH!" He screamed punching Fluttershy in the stomach. Fluttershy woke up coughing heavily. "I'm almost certain that is not how CPR works, "Ender said. "Well she is breathing," Wilson said. "Your dumb idea was that I had to kiss her." Still coughing, Fluttershy said, "Your a... dick." "Shouldn't you take her to the hospital?" Ender asked looking at Fluttershy as she blacked out. "She will be fine." "...WILSON!" "Fine I'll take her to the hospital," Wilson said picking up Fluttershy. Getting to the hospital, a doctor asked, "Okay, so how did she get this way?" "Well..." Wilson said. "She inhaled a lot of smoke, sufficated, and I gave her CPR." "Well we will keep her here for the night, and if she recovers, we will let her go," The doctor said. "Okay..." Wilson said. "We will also let you know if we notice anything unordinary about her while she is here." "Okay..." "I'm sorry your wife got like this." "Okay..." "At most she will be in here for a week, but that's if something REALLY bad happens over the night." "Okay..." "Thats all." "Okay..." "You can go now." "Okay..." "Get the hell out before I call security." "Okay..." Wilson said leaving the room. "I ment get out of the hospital." "Okay..." "NOW!" "Okay..." Wilson said leaving the hospital. "Fucking idiot," the doctor wispered to himself while facehoofing. Wilson decided to go home early. When he opened the door, all of the animals ran away due to the way he smelled. "I'm bored," Wilson said walking in and closing the door. "Go masturebate to some porn or something," Ender said. "...Good idea," Wilson said running into his room and putting on a movie. Five minutes passed of Ender relaxing on a coach, he then realized, "Wait a minute... now I'm bored." "Go anoy Twilight!" Wilson shouted. "Hallucinations wore off!" Wilson sighed as he grabbed a can of his hallucination spray. He stabbed a hole in it with his knife and threw it out of his window. *Meanwhile at the library* "No Spike I am not insane," Twilight said walking around. "It's Wilson's fault for my freakouts." A can broke through the window and hit Twilight in the head. She noticed it was Wilson's hallucionation spray and thought to herself, "Oh no." Ender teleported in the place saying, "Hey... did you miss me?" Screaming, Twilight ran to the corner of the library shaking. Spike sighed and said, "I'll call the asylum again." The next day came, hours passed, and Wilson was board. After turning the radiation from Beta to Gamma, he stood on top of the ventilation tower wondering why less smoke than usual was leaving it. Ender teleported next to Wilson saying, "So... when do you think Fluttershy will get out of the hospital?" "I'm going to say about... six seconds," Wilson said. *Six seconds later* "Wilson!" Fluttershy screamed flying above him while holding a sponge. "You will get clean... even if I die trying to make if happen." She charged at Wilson, flying as fast as she could. Taking a step to the left, he was able to dodge her attack, and she flew right into the ventilation tower. She then shot out like a missle and fell to the ground, as her skin started to glow. Wilson dropped down to the ground saying, "I dont mean to scare you or anything, but if you dont get a chemicel shower within sixty minutes... you will most likely die." Completely scared and in shock, Fluttershy flew as fast as she could back to the hospital.