It had taken hours of studying, a few tutoring sessions with the local expert (who was also the local dragon), and even a bribe or two to buy the necessary “equipment” without anyone noticing, but they’d done it. They were ready.
The CMC were going to play a game of Ogres & Oubliettes with Button Mash.
And his mom. They needed someone who was an experienced Dungeon Master for their first game, after all.
“Hello, everypony! Ready for a fun night of adventure?” asked Mrs. Mash with a smile.
“Ready, mom!” announced Button Mash. He was wearing a brown cloak, clearly ready to get into character.
“I think so,” said Sweetie Belle, a little nervous, but determined to have a good time.
“Yeah! Let’s do this!” cheered Scootaloo.
While she wasn’t wearing a costume like Button, she did bring her own set of fancy looking custom dice.
“Uh… Ah guess?” said an uncertain Apple Bloom. She was kind of lost already.
Mrs. Mash looked at Apple Bloom with a soft smile.
“It’s OK, Apple Bloom. I’ve been playing table tops since I was your age. I know all kind of tricks to make a game simple enough for first timers, without being too easy. This will be a great time for all of us, I promise,” reassured Mrs. Mash.
Apple Bloom sighed, but nodded.
“Arlight. First thing first, did you girls make your character sheets like Button told you?” asked Mrs. Mash.
The three fillies pulled out their sheets.
“Good. Now, Button, why don’t you introduce your character first, and then we’ll go clockwise from there,” suggested Mrs. Mash.
“OK, mom. So, you remember how Sir Robin got that crazy ‘run away’ trait after that crit fail last month? I gave me an idea of how to build an agility focused hero for a change. So my hero is a ranger named Sonic the Swift,” said Button.
The blatantly obvious reference made Scootaloo scoff, Sweetie Belle roll her eyes, Apple Bloom raise an eyebrow, and Mrs. Mash give Button a small glare.
“Button, what did I say about stealing role-playing characters from other games?” chided Mrs. Mash.
“It’s just the name, mom. I made him a orange pegasus, he’s more of a calm, strategy type of fighter, and his arch-enemy is not a crazy scientist. I totally didn’t steal him,” replied Button with a huff.
“If it’s really just the name, then you can change it, right?” countered Mrs. Mash with a smirk.
As the fillies around the table giggled, Button let out a sigh.
“Alright, fine. His name is... uh… Air… Gorge. yeah, Air Gorge the Swift. Ugh, that doesn’t sound nearly as cool. Anyway, he’s a neutral good ranger from a noble family who decided he wanted to do something exciting with his life. He’s all about staying light on his hooves and outmaneuvering his enemies,” continued Button.
“Alright. Never hurts to have at least one mobile hero in the party. Your turn, Scootaloo,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Well, I kind of wanted to play a rogue, but I figured that if Button was going for an agility focused hero, I’d better make a tank. So I’m a lawful good earth pony paladin named Rain Heart. He’s a veteran soldier with a love of heavy armor and large shields. I also gave him a secret backstory that I’m not going to spoil just yet,” said Scootaloo with a smirk.
“Secret backstory? With a paladin? I do hope you’re not going with a bread and butter ‘that one mistake’ approach,” said Mrs. Mash with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, considering it’s Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle’s first game I figured I’d go with something obvious,” admitted Scootaloo as she rubbed the back of her neck nervously.
“Right… I guess we’ll just poke fun at that when it comes up. So, are you planning on getting into character, or I am expected to believe that changelings don’t take advantage of their magic for roleplaying?” asked Mrs. Mash.
Scootaloo let out a sigh.
“We do, but I’m going to opt out tonight. I’ve been trying to nail a decent Rain Heart voice, but I just can’t seem to get low enough. If I’m going to use a disguise to do the character justice, I want to go all the way, not wind up sounding like an overcompensating teenager,” admitted Scootaloo.
“Can’t you at least turn into a colt? You did mention that you’re a natural at gender changing, and you sounded a little more manly as Scooter. Besides, it’s just the five of us here so it’s not like you’d be making a fool of yourself again,” suggested Sweetie Belle.
Scootaloo looked like she was about to object, but then she just let out another sigh. A moment later, she turned into Scooter with a flash of green flames.
“Alright, but just so we’re clear, I’m getting a lot of annoying comments from the hivemind because of this,” grumbled Scootaloo.
“Your sacrifice for the good of engaging roleplaying will be long remembered. Your turn, Apple Bloom,” said Mrs. Mash.
Apple Bloom let out an awkward cough and nervously looked over her character sheet.
“Well, Spike was talkin’ about how this game’s all about bein’ somepony you’re not, so Ah figured Ah’d try mah hoof at bein’ a mage. So... mah character is uh.... Chaotic neutral, because Ah don’t really want to play a bad guy, and his name is Hog Wash. His backstory is that he’s a unicorn wizard in trainin’, and he’s goin’ on a quest to impress a mare he’s got a crush on,” said Apple Bloom.
Everypony else at the table shared uncertain looks.
“Uh, Apple Bloom? I think you’re taking what Spike said a little too seriously. It sounds like you’re trying way too hard to roleplay something you’re not. I mean, I was kind of expecting you to at least use Apple in your character name,” said Button.
“Did Ah do somethin’ wrong?” asked Apple Bloom in a nervous tone.
“Well, no, but part of the game is about being able to get into your character’s head. If your character has nothing in common with you, it can be tricky to try and think of what your character would do in a situation, instead of what you would do. Mind you, this is certainly doable, but as this is your first game, I’m just a little worried you might get frustrated later,” explained Mrs. Mash.
“Oh. Well, Ah think Ah can handle it. Ah mean, Ah did kind of base Hog Wash after Scootaloo, so Ah think Ah’ll have little trouble guessin’ what he’ll do,” replied Apple Bloom.
“Wait, what?” asked Scootaloo.
There were some chuckles had around the table.
“Alright then. If you think you’re up for it, I won’t stop you. After all, playing as someone else is indeed part of what O&O is all about. Alright, that just leaves you, Sweetie Belle,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Right. So, after digging through the rule book for a bit, I found the perfect role for me to play. So, her name’s Steel Frame. She’s an apprentice to a blacksmith, but is actually a robot from the future who…” said Sweetie Belle, but paused as there were several facehooves around the table.
“Really, Sweetie Belle? I mean, really?” deadpanned Scootaloo.
“Yeah. You’re doing the opposite of what Ah’m doin’. How the hay are ya supposed to role play if you’re just puttin’ yourself into the game?” asked Apple Bloom.
“And besides that, O&O is a fantasy setting. There are no robots in this game,” added Button Mash.
Even Mrs. Mash seemed a little uncertain. Sweetie Belle just rolled her eyes.
“I know that, Button. The robot thing is purely for backstory and role playing purposes. In game, she’s just a golem with an iron affinity. I even added a ‘no spoiler’ rule so she can’t use anything from the future. She has to use spells and swords just like everypony else. And yes, I am aware that I’m stealing from the craziness that I call my life, but I’m not just self inserting. Just look at my sheet,” explained Sweetie Belle.
Sweetie Belle pushed her character sheet over to Button. He took one look at it, but then without a word, he passed it over to his mother. It was quickly apparent why: the sheer amount of information Sweetie had scribbled over every visible inch of space was quite intimidating.
“Let’s see… wants to play the lute, but has not ear for music… friendly, but a bit bossy at times… considers herself lawful neutral but tends to act more lawful good…” Mrs. Mash mumbled as she read.
After a few minutes, Mrs. Mash had to admit it: Sweetie Belle really had come up with a way to make a robot logically and functionally exist in the world of O&O. It was such a skilled display of rule bending and stretched technicalities that Mrs. Mash was genuinely impressed. Still, as intriguing a premise as it was, the fact remained that this character was going to have to wait for another day.
“Well, I must admit I have no objections to this character, but I’m afraid I’m going to ask you to create a new one, Sweetie Belle,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Huh? Why?” asked Sweetie Belle, looking rather hurt and confused.
“Steel Frame is a golem, Sweetie. Golems are an advanced class meant for experienced players. While I think this character is good and I’d love to see her in action some day, I think it’d be best for your first game to pick an easier class,” explained Mrs. Mash.
“Yeah… Golems are kinda complicated. You really should get some hooves-on experience with the rest of the game before you tackle the Internal Magic system and everything that come with it,” added Button Mash.
“The what system?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Exactly,” answered Scootaloo.
Sweetie Belle let out a resigned sigh.
“Alright, I see your point. Guess I’ll just roll up a cleric. Spike did mention you can always use a healer,” said Sweetie Belle in a sad tone.
Mrs. Mash passed Steel Frame’s sheet back with a smile.
“Oh don’t feel bad, Sweetie. I mean, the sheer amount of detail you put into this is mind boggling. It’d be a shame if Steel Frame never saw the light of day. And I can help you set up your cleric a little faster, if you’d like,” offer Mrs. Mash.
“Nah, I’d rather do it myself, if you don’t mind,” said Sweetie Belle with a shake of her head.
Mrs. Mash chuckled as Sweetie Belle pulled out a pencil and started filling out a new character sheet.
“A kind heart, a knack for rule bending, and a strong do-it-yourself attitude? Well, that’s settles it then. Button, you have my full approval to date this filly,” announced Mrs. Mash.
At those words, Sweetie Belle and Button Mash froze up as their faces started turning red. They’d both been teased about it before, but to hear it from Button’s mom? It was just too much. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom had to stick a hoof to her mouth to hold back her laughter. Scootaloo made not such effort, and started laughing hysterically.
“What?! Mom! We’re not dating! I told you she’s not my fillyfriend!” objected Button Mash.
“Y-yeah! We’re just friends!” added Sweetie Belle.
Mrs. Mash just giggled.
“Your blushing faces and rather insistent denial suggest otherwise,” she added in a sing-song voice.
Button Mash proceeded to bury his beet red face in his hooves. Sweetie Belle’s gaze turned sharply back onto her character sheet, where she proceeded to start filling it out in a rather aggressive manner. Apple Bloom gave up and started laughing as well, while Scootaloo just collapsed to the floor.
“Why, mom? Why?” mumbled Button.
“Because you two are just so cute together, and far too easy to tease, my dear,” said Mrs. Mash with a smile.
Several minutes later, the laughter finally started to die down, and Sweetie Belle’s new character was ready. A cleric named Holy Light, who was a rather stereotypical lawful good shy cleric. The blandness of the character was readily overlooked on account that Sweetie Belle had filled out her sheet while her face was still flushed scarlet. She’d flesh her backstory out later when she didn’t feel like crawling under the table in embarrassment.
“Alright then. Anything else before we begin?” asked Mrs. Mash.
Four young ponies all shook their heads no.
“Excellent,” said Mrs. Mash.
She lifted up her GM screen and cleared her throat before speaking in a deep, dramatic voice.
“Welcome to the world of Ogres & Oubliettes. This is a magical land full of wonderment, adventure, and dangers beyond your wildest dreams. But all is not as it should be. Hidden within the darkest shadows, a great evil has begun to stir. It’s twisted reach has begun to consume the world, threatening the downfall of all civilization,” narrated Mrs. Mash.
The three fillies looked at her in awe.
“Woah. You’re really good at this,” said Scootaloo.
“It’s like the start of an awesome movie,” added Apple Bloom.
“Thank you, dears. *Ahem.* But these lands shall not be conquered so easily. For in the face of such horrors, mighty heroes have risen to fight the darkness, be it for glory, justice, or gold. And on this day, four new heroes are about to embark on a great journey that will decide the fate of the world. And this journey begins one stormy night in a tavern…”
The first chamber of the tomb is dark and damp. The stones under the heroes’ hooves are in poor condition, moss can be seen growing along the walls, and the air is heavy with the musky scent of death and decay.
“Well, this is about as pleasant as I expected it to be,” says Air Gorge.
“Indeed. We’d best remain on guard. There’s no telling what awaits us ahead,” adds Rain Heart.
Hog Wash opens his mouth to speak…
Then Apple Bloom paused, uncertain.
“Uh, Apple Bloom? Is something wrong?” asked Button Mash.
“Well, it’s just that at this point Ah think Hog Wash would do somethin’ reckless, but Ah don’t want to do somethin’ that might make the game harder for us,” explained Apple Bloom.
“Ah, a debate of character vs gameplay. This is sort of what we were warning you about, Apple Bloom,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Well, I say go for it. I mean, it’s the first room. Whatever’s here can’t be too dangerous, right?” suggested Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah. And if you start going against your persona for the sake of avoiding problems, you’ll always be tempted to break character every time something seems wrong,” added Scootaloo.
Apple Bloom let out a sigh.
“Right. Welp, Ah made this choice mahself, Ah’ll just have to live with it,” declared Apple Bloom.
“Ha! Let it come! Ah’ll reduce anythin’ that gets in our way to dust!” boasts Hog Wash.
“Y-you shouldn’t be so over confident. W-what if there’s something worse than monsters down here?” stutters Holy Light.
Hog Wash merely scoffs. As if to prove his point, he casts a spell at…
“Wait, which spell are you casting? You need to decide before actually casting it,” interrupted Mrs. Mash.
“Oh, right. Uh…” Apple Bloom paused to glance at her character sheet.
“So… it’ll probably be somethin’ small so that it’s not too big a waste. So… Ah guess Magic Missile?” answered Apple Bloom.
The table was quiet for a moment, before Scootaloo, Button Mash, and Mrs. Mash all grinned.
“Well, you need a target to cast that spell, I’m afraid,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Ok. So… Ah’ll… uh…hm… well, ya said the room’s dark so… Hog Wash will attack the darkness?” suggested Apple Bloom.
Everyone else around the table burst into laughter, except for Sweetie Belle, who just looked at Apple Bloom in confusion.
“What? What’d Ah say?” asked Apple Bloom.
“I dunno. Maybe it’s some kind of inside joke only experienced O&O players would get,” replied Sweetie Belle with a shrug.
As the four adventurers enter the next chamber, they are surprised to see that this one was empty. No skeletons to fight, no puzzles to solve, and not even a suspicious looking chest to taunt them.
“Well then, this looks like it’ll be easy for a change,” comments Hog Wash.
“Too easy. Never assume that because you can’t see a threat, it means there isn’t one,” says Rain Heart.
“Agreed. Let me check for any traps first,” adds Air Gorge.
Button Mash rolled his dice.
“Fourteen,” announced Button.
Air Gorge is able to quickly spot that the room was full of tripwires.
“Just as I thought. We’ll have to be careful, and try to sneak past without setting anything off,” announces Air Gorge.
“Or maybe we could try activating them from a safe distance? I don’t know if Rain Heart’s up for sneaking with that heavy armor,” suggests Holy Light.
“Wait, is that really something Holy Light would say? Isn’t she supposed to be too shy to really suggest something that aggressive?” noted Button Mash.
“She’s still a little annoyed about the spiders from the last room. It was more of a jab at Rain Heart then a serious suggestion,” explained Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah, Ah think anypony would still be upset about the spiders. Ya really messed that one up, Scootaloo,” added Apple Bloom.
“I rolled a dang crit fail. Give me a break already,” grumbled Scootaloo.
“Moving on,” interrupted Button Mash.
“That would be unwise. I can’t tell what sort of traps these are. Activating one may unleash poisonous gas or seal us inside this chamber. Evasion is out best option here,” answers Air Gorge.
“That’s true. Very well then, sneaking it is,” admits Holy Light.
“Alright. So... who wants to go first?” asks Hog Wash.
“Might as well be me. I am the most agile among us. I might be able to safely disarm a trap or two,” says Air Gorge.
Button Mash rolled his dice.
“Dang,” said Button.
While Air Gorge manages to cross the room without difficulty, he is unable to disarm any traps.
“Hm… these traps are more complicated than I thought,” he admits.
“Alright, Ah’ll go next,” says Hog Wash.
Apple Bloom rolled her dice.
Hog Wash also crosses the room without setting off any traps.
“OK, that wasn’t too bad. Next,” says Hog Wash.
“I’ll go,” announces Holy Light.
Sweetie Belle rolled her dice.
“Uh oh…” said Sweetie Belle in a nervous tone.
“Hold on, you might not be in trouble yet. OK, so an eight, plus your agility stat, and add in Air Gorge’s ‘Guiding Presence’ skill… you just barely passed,” deducted Mrs. Mash.
“Oh. Whew,” said Sweetie Belle as she let out a sigh of relief.
There are a few close calls, but Holy Light manages to make it across as well.
“OK, that was far harder than I expected. I have got to be more careful moving forward,” says Holy Light.
“Indeed. Learning from one’s mistakes is a vital skill of any warrior,” declares Rain Heart.
“Less wise sayings, more crossing the room, Rain Heart,” comments Hog Wash.
Rain Heart lets out a chuckle, and then steps forward.
Scootaloo rolled her dice.
…
“Are you bucking kiding me?!” cried Scootaloo.
Everypony just sadly looked down at the rolled two.
“Oh dear. That’s quite unfortunate,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Well, at least it’s not another crit fail,” said Button Mash.
“Yeah, but Rain Heart’s supposed to be this wise and experienced warrior. How can anyone take him seriously if he keeps failing like this?” demanded Scootaloo.
“I stopped taking him seriously after the spiders,” commented Sweetie Belle.
“Same here, to be honest,” added Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo facehooved and let out a groan.
“Ugh… fine. Just get it over with, Mrs. Mash,” she grumbled.
Unfortunately, Rain Heart’s armor proves too cumbersome to evade all the traps. After setting off a tripwire, a wall opens up and shoots several bolts at the knight.
“Roll once for endurance and once for luck, please,” said Mrs. Mash.
Scootaloo rolled her dice.
Fortunately, most of the bolts fail to penetrate his armor. However, one bolt manages to strike in a gap near his hind leg, dealing two points of damage.
“Gah! I’ve been injured!” cries Rain Heart.
“Welp, that’s too bad. After those spiders I’m running low on healing spells, so you’d better stallion up and shake that little scratch off,” says Holy Light.
“Really, Sweetie Belle? Really?” asked Scootaloo.
“Spi. Ders. Scootaloo. And I’m not just being spiteful. I really am running out of healing spells,” deadpanned Sweetie Belle.
“And potions. We really do need to save what we have left,” reminded Button Mash.
Scootaloo let out a sigh.
“Thank you for your assistance, young heroes. I hope this map shall be of use to you,” says the mayor.
The three heroes gather around the map. It reveals that the next piece of the ancient Crown of Creation is located to the north. Far, far to the north. Somewhere in the snow-buried Shiver City…
“And I think that’s wrap for tonight. Very well done, everypony. You managed to finish your first session with only one death,” announced Mrs. Mash.
“It would have been zero if I hadn’t rolled so many bucking crit fails,” grumbled Scootaloo.
“Anyways, what did you two think? Did you have fun?” asked Button Mash.
“Yeah. This was fun. Kind of like tellin’ a story together,” said Apple Bloom.
“Yep. I’m definitely up for doing this again sometime, though hopefully without another spider incident,” declared Sweetie Belle.
“I’m glad to hear that. Maybe we can continue same time next week?” suggested Mrs. Mash.
“Sounds good to me. I need to redeem myself. I can’t believe how badly things went for me today,” added Scootaloo.
“Everyone has bad rounds, Scootaloo. Though I have to agree, six crit fails and the only death can leave a great deal to be desired,” said Mrs. Mash.
“Ain’t that the truth,” mumbled Scootaloo, though she didn’t press the matter further.
“I’m good for next week, too,” said Sweetie Belle.
“Same here. Maybe we can make this a regular thing?” suggested Apple Bloom.
“That’d be wonderful! And it’d give these two young lovebirds more time together too,” added Mrs. Mash.
“She/He is not my filly/coltfriend!” objected Sweetie Belle and Button Mash at the same time.
Giggles were had around the table.