Applejack, lost in thought, trailed a few uneasy paces behind after they’d wished Twilight a good night and took their leave from her castle; some part of her had come to accept that this was indeed her dear friend, Fluttershy, but her head still had its doubts. The story, as unbelievable as it sounded, had a ring of truth about it, and she was certain the first thing Twilight would do in the morning would be to send a message to Celestia confirming it. It was rather startling to think about, actually: all those times that they’d been visiting Canterlot, Fluttershy’s time-displaced counterpart had been somewhere in the background nearby. Wishing that she could somehow help them.
She felt a need to say something. What had happened to Fluttershy had been her fault, hadn’t it? If she’d been paying attention to her surroundings, the storm would never have been in a position to threaten her in the first place. Several times, Applejack’s mouth open and closed, but the words – the apology – continually formed and died in her throat. What can I say, what can I possibly say, that will make things right? Because of me, she’s lost thirty years of her life, trapped and alone without her closest friends. How she didn’t go mad, I’ll never know.
Drawing to a halt, Fluttershy turned and faced Applejack; compared to the journey from Canterlot to Ponyville, her cottage on the other side of town was merely a short hop away. That said, after having sat still for so long, her legs had seized up, and she was having to constantly stretch them to try and get the blood flowing again. She didn’t mind getting older, and she knew that she still had a few good years left to her, but there so many little aches and pains that came with the ageing process she hadn’t been prepared for. She couldn’t but wonder how she’d cope with the pace of their adventures now. Well, that’s something to worry about later, she thought. “What is it?” Fluttershy asked, seeing the uncertainty creeping on to Applejack’s face. She had an inkling of what she wanted to say, though.
“It’s my fault-”
“-No, it’s not.”
“Would ya let me finish, Fluttershy,” said Applejack in a frosty tone that she normally reserved for her dealings with the recalcitrant Rainbow Dash. “I know you’re trying to be kind, but because I was so focused on getting an early start on the harvest, this-” she gestured at Fluttershy “-happened to you.”
“Applejack,” Fluttershy said mildly, “I’m the one who chose to throw myself into the path of the lightning bolt, knowing that it would likely kill me. I would have done it for anypony, of course, but I’m glad it was you. You and your family have suffered so much loss over the years, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if Apple Bloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith had to mourn your death, too.”
“Pity I wasn’t born a pegasus,” said Applejack thoughtfully, “I would’ve been able to see my parents again. Even if it was at a distance.” Her conscience was not in the least bit salved by Fluttershy’s words; the anger and pain behind her eyes was obvious if you knew how to look for it, even though she was doing her best to mask it. More had happened in those thirty years than she was letting on, Applejack guessed. Would she talk about it? Would she be allowed to talk about it?
As they walked, Fluttershy’s bright eyes took in Ponyville by moonlight as if she was seeing it for the first time; it was at once familiar yet also strange, and it would be exciting to rediscover it properly in the morning. True, there’d be a lot of explanations, but getting to spend time with her closest friends again – going off on those crazy, danger-filled adventures – would be worth it. So many things that she’d almost taken for granted, even Angel Bunny’s little tantrums, suddenly seemed incredibly important to her. Getting to know new ponies again! The simple joy of being able to talk to somepony without worrying that the slightest wrong word might have incredible repercussions for the future.
She wondered about those pegasi who had been sent hundreds of years out of their own time and how they must’ve coped; the culture shock would have been enormous, and even with Princess Celestia’s help, it would not have been easy for them to make a new life without their friends and family. Fluttershy, for her own part, had only got past those long, lonely nights by thinking about her friends and how she would be able to see them again when she caught up with the present. Even then, it had been … trying.
Shaking her head, she tried to loose herself from those dark thoughts; she was the master of her own destiny once again, and no longer had to worry about stepping on the wrong blade of grass or walking on eggshells around ponies.
Perhaps in a day or two, when the euphoria of being back had finally worn off and things got back to something like normal – or as normal as things ever got around Ponyville, anyway – she might have the time to consider what she’d lost; thirty years was a long time, and though Celestia’s own physicians had told her that she was in terrific shape and had no obvious health problems to be concerned about, she was beset with nagging little pains, got tired a lot more quickly, and her wings had lost a lot of their strength. She’d never been the best flier in Equestria, but now she doubted she could even make the journey between Twilight’s castle and her cottage without stopping for a breather half-way.
“Hey, sugarcube, are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.”
“Huh? Oh. Sorry.” Fluttershy flushed slightly. “I was just thinking.”
“Anything important?” asked Applejack. “Past? Future? Points in-between?”
“What you were saying about your parents,” said Fluttershy. “Celestia will kill me if I tell you this, so keep it to yourself, okay?”
Applejack mimed zipping her muzzle up and throwing away a key.
“When I could sneak away from Canterlot, I would travel to Ponyville and Cloudsdale just to see what you guys were up to. Watching all of you growing up, facing your own challenges, becoming the ponies that you were destined to be … it made what happened to me seem all right, you know? Like it was worth it,” Fluttershy said quietly. “I got to see whole new sides to all of you, and that felt like a precious gift: the chance to get to know all of you from the beginning, as it were. Does that make sense?”
Nodding, Applejack replied, “Yeah, it does. We probably all wish for something like that at times.”
Fluttershy’s eyes turned to the heavens above; a shooting star streaked through the sky, and she released a breath she didn’t even realise that she was holding. “I’m upset, of course, about losing those thirty years, but I’m not angry and I don’t regret saving you, Applejack. We all have stuff in our pasts that we regret, that we wish we could have done differently, but having lived through much of it with you, I wouldn’t want to change a thing. We’re all who we are because of the events of our lives.” Despite what had happened, Fluttershy knew that she wouldn’t have traded those precious experiences for all the coffee in Saddle Arabia. She switched her attention back to Applejack and favoured her with a small smile.
With nothing to add to that sentiment, Applejack settled for returning the smile and nuzzling against Fluttershy’s neck. They had stopped near the fountain at the centre of town to watch the stars.
“That reminds me,” Fluttershy suddenly said, unhooking the Stetson that still hung around her neck and handing it to Applejack, “you should probably have this back.” The hat was battered and faded, and there were several spots where it had clearly been repaired by an inexpert hoof. Rarity could probably bring it back to life, though. “I did my best to keep it in one piece over the years, but it’s been with me through more than one scrape, so it’s a bit, well, you can see for yourself. After it came through the storm with me, I saw it as a good luck token … and a small piece of home.”
Applejack felt a subdued smile twitch at the corners of her muzzle as her hoof made the slightest of contacts with its wide brim; like Fluttershy, it was strange to think that she’d seen the hat only a few short hours ago, but it was actually now thirty years older also. Finally, she pushed it back toward Fluttershy and said, “You should continue looking after this for me, I think. You’ve had it for a lot longer than I have, anyway.”