//------------------------------// // Gaffer's Big Gaffe // Story: Phoenix Down // by GJT_Productions //------------------------------// "Look at him, shaking like the trees at the Running of the Leaves competition! He'll be an easy one to crack for sure..." "Sir, not so loud, he'll hear you!" "I don't care, he's already said he's willing to cooperate and that's all the give I need..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guard Upper Class Gaffer quivered in his chair as the two previous speakers - Lieutenant Troilus and Guard Upper Class Lyacon - emerged to begin the "interview", both dressed in full armor and carrying pikes. Sure, Gaffer had performed bravely enough fighting against the rebels in countering Operation Whirlwind, but there he had 8-Bit and the rest of his squad beside him to steady his nerves, not to mentioned the conviction he was fighting on the side of righteousness. Here, though, was a very different story. He hated the thought of his old friend, Lieutenant Captain Shining Armor, disgraced in tribunal and forever unable to marry Princess Cadance. He hated the anti-pegasi rumors being spread in the tabloids, that were just reprinted without thought of checking for truthfulness. He hated the fact that there was a "mysterious killer" loose in Canterlot with a poison that thwarted all attempts at cure. He hated everything that was going on around him, and when Troilus told him that Gaffer could stop it all by answering "a few simple questions", Gaffer jumped at the chance despite the voice inside him insisting he was just being played for a sucker. "Now, let's get down to business." Troilus begins, Lyacon at the same time setting aside his pike and using sickly-green magic to grab a clipboard and charcoal pencil. "A few simple questions. That's all we need out of you." "And nothing more bad will happen to Shining... right?" Gaffer cautiously replies. Troilus and Lyacon exchange a look before Troilus turns back toward Gaffer in reply: "That will depend entirely on what Shining Armor does during and after the tribunal. But I'll let you in a little secret, Guard, just so that you have a perfect understanding of the situation here." "Yes... sir?" Gaffer again cautiously asks. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lyacon looks around to see if anypony else is within hearing range, and then gives a nod toward Troilus when there is no one. Troilus sees this nod in his peripheral vision, and plunges straight in when he does: "You know that 'mysterious killer' that's been poisoning ponies around Canterlot? The one with the 'no antidote poison'? He's in our employ, works at our command. Just one word, and he can bring down anypony that isn't an alicorn. Including your precious Lieutenant Captain. Including you, if you aren't cooperative. Are we perfectly clear now?" Gaffer recoils back from the sharp end of the pike pointed right into his face, which had been leveled at him as soon as Troilus said the word "you", and replies with another simple "Yes, sir." "Good. And one more thing. If you repeat anything we are telling you without our permission, you automatically become next on our hit list!" Troilus adds on quickly, returning the pike to its upright position. "Understood... sir." Gaffer quietly answers, eyes darting around all over the place. "Alright, no more messing around. Lyacon, are we ready?" Troilus asks, turning to his partner as he speaks. "Yes, sir." Lyacon replies with a salute, returning to his focused pose on writing. "Good. Question 1, Guard: Is Lieutenant Captain Shining Armor supposed to be on duty during the night of the Grand Galloping Gala?" Troilus asks, returning his intense focus to Gaffer as he speaks. "No... sir, the Captain of the Guard will stay on duty through the whole Gala." Gaffer answers. "Question 2: Do you know where the Lieutenant Captain might be during the night of the Gala?" "Well... if he's not going to be at the Gala itself, with his sister, then he would be with..." "With WHO?" Troilus asks impatiently, trying to get Gaffer to the point. "Princess Cadance. You've... probably noticed that..." Gaffer draws out. "She's always been excused from the Gala? I am aware of that, Guard, please continue." "Yes, well, he's never told me personally, but on the night of the Gala Princess Cadance and the Lieutenant Captain are always..." "So you believe the two of them will be out on a 'date night', for lack of a better term, instead of attending the Gala?" "Yes, sir, but it might be different this year because of Twilight Sparkle being..." "Never mind that, Guard, we'll be able to tell apart the two possibilities ourselves." Troilus interrupts, waving a dismissive hoof as he does so. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There is a pause of a few moments, and then Troilus turns to Lyacon and says: "We can work with that, right?" "Yes, sir, I believe we have enough time between now and then for whatever we need done to get done." Lyacon replies affirmatively, the cryptic nature of the comment again causing Gaffer's unease to flare up. "Very good, Lyacon. I believe we are done here, although I would like to say one more thing to our interviewee." Troilus states. "Yes, sir?" Gaffer asks, daring himself to let out a loud exhale as the tension in the room began unwinding itself. "If I found you have lied to me, Guard, then not even Princess Celestia herself will be able to save you from the retribution that will be marked out for you. You are dismissed, Guard." Troilus explains with cold, biting words, giving his most deadly glare as he does so. This coldness is enough to prompt Gaffer to give a nervous salute before turning and marching out doubletime - both Troilus and Lyacon sensed he would have ran like a scared dog if protocol allowed it. This thought prompted an impish smile to spread between them. As soon as Gaffer was out of earshot, the impish smile becomes even more malevolent, and Troilus speaks again to his subordinate: "So it will be safe to hold the rally and start the march that night of the Gala. Lyacon, see to it that Prince Blueblood is 'properly prepared', and that there will be no doubts in his joining our glorious march." "Yes, sir!" Lyacon replies with a salute, taking the charcoal pencil and clipboard but leaving his pike behind as he rushes toward Prince Blueblood's suite inside the Canterlot castle. It was thus Lieutenant Troilus was left alone in the conference room, deliciously anticipating what was to come in his anti-pegasus campaign. Again, everything was unfolding as he planned out, and Gaffer's completely naive cooperation had now opened the way for the anti-pegasus campaign to go to the next level of hatred and violence and deception...