Alright, AJ. You can do this. No need to be all nervous about it.
Even when no one else was listening, Applejack was a terrible liar. Of course she had a reason to be nervous. How could she not be? It had been more than twenty years since she’d seen her parents, and she’d spent her entire life resigned to the fact that she’d never see them again. But within the span of half an hour, everything she thought she knew was turned on its head.
It was almost eerie how closely their house resembled her own. If it weren’t for the lack of surrounding farmland, it would have been a perfect match for the farmhouse on Sweet Apple Acres. It made sense, in a way — no matter the circumstance, her parents would have been hard pressed to give up on the comforts of home.
As she approached the door, Applejack couldn’t help but wonder if this was actually happening. Was it just her imagination? Was it just some sort of bizarre fever dream? Would it even matter if it were real, if she wasn’t going to remember any of it?
No, focus! You’re almost out of time! Worry about that nonsense later!
Before she had even realized it, her body was moving towards the door. Time itself escaped her grasp with each step, moments stretching into hours, only to compress again into mere moments. The pounding of heartbeats in her eardrums drowned out all other sounds, until she reached out with a single hoof, and...
knock knock knock
In the intervening seconds, Applejack considered turning around and never looking back. She doubted there was anything she could say, anything that could make the anticipation any less agonizing. But no matter how many second thoughts crossed her mind, she knew she couldn’t turn back. This was what she wanted, more than anything else in the world.
The door opened with a loud creeaaaaak. There, standing on the other side, was Bright Macintosh, looking not a day older than he did more than twenty years ago.
“Howdy! What brings you to our... our...”
Bright Mac’s words trailed off mid-sentence, leaving his jaw hanging loose. The world around Applejack was drowned out by her own ragged breaths and pounding heartbeat. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real, and yet it had to be.
Don’t just stand there! Say something!
“H... h-howdy?”
Bright Mac blinked rapidly, pausing only to rub his eyes. Seeing him there, he was almost like a perfect photograph, just like the one that hung in the mantle above Applejack’s fireplace.
“By the stars,” he muttered. “Applejack? Is that...”
“Yes!” Applejack blurted out. “A-ah, mean, uh, you see...” Her left foreleg rubbed against her right, seemingly of its own volition. She had suddenly become painfully aware of every itch, every passing sensation on her body, everything that reminded her she was still a living pony. “W-what Ah meant to say was, uh...” Her words faded away, and once again, she found herself at a loss for things to say.
Bright Mac stepped forward. His initial shock had worn away, and he approached Applejack slowly, with a smile in his face and a sadness in his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. Ah know it can be a lot to take in.”
“...Yeah,” said Applejack. “It is.” Her body moved without thought or hesitation, and before long she found herself wrapped in her father’s embrace, sharing a hug that she had not felt since she was a child. “If... if you don’t mind me asking, is ma here right now?”
“Of course,” said Bright Mac. “We were just preparing ourselves a nice meal to share. Ah’m sure your ma would be overjoyed to sit down and have dinner with you.”
Applejack glanced backwards, towards the sky above the Elysium. As always, it was bright blue and free of clouds, shining with a perennial light that had no apparent source. “Ain’t it a bit early for dinner?”
“We’ll call it lunch, then,” said Bright Mac. “Up here, it don’t make much difference.”
Applejack’s hoofsteps grew light and shaky as she followed her father through the doorway, into the house proper. Apart from a few minor details, everything about it looked exactly the way she had left her own home, back in the world of the living.
Had she not known any better, she would have thought she’d never left home at all.
Her breaths became heavy and belabored as she continued following her father into the kitchen. Even now, she struggled to grasp what was truly happening. Her head spun, and her body felt light and airy, like it was all a dream. The living room gave way to the cozy interior of the kitchen, and almost immediately she was greeted by the humming of a familiar voice she hadn’t heard in years. Her heart rate quickened, and she immediately couldn’t help but wonder what, precisely, she was doing there.
...No, that was wrong. She knew exactly what she was doing there. She just didn’t know if she was ready for it.
Seemingly unaware of her thoughts, Bright Mac walked forward, a cheerful smile written across his face. “Hey, Buttercup, you’ll never believe who’s here!”
At the far end of the kitchen, a mare of soft orange and cream colors stood diligently by a pot on the stove, letting the scent of vegetable stew waft across the room as she stirred. As she lifted a ladle and took a single, dainty sip, her eyes widened to attention. “Oh?” she said, turning to face Bright Mac, “who is...”
The ladle abruptly fell to the floor, spilling its contents across the ground. Applejack’s body tensed as she looked into the eyes of her host, yet at the same time there was a deep swelling in her heart, a feeling of safety and comfort she had not known in years. As the conflicting emotions swirled in her head, she could only think to speak a single sentence.
“H... Hi, ma.”
For moments on end, Pear Butter stood silently. Her eyes began to well up with tears, sparkling and translucent like the rest of her aethereal form. As more moments passed in silence, Applejack simply stared back, unable to form even a thought to articulate.
And then, in the blink of an eye, she felt herself being wrapped up in a pair of forelegs, a warm embrace that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. When it finally ended, Applejack felt the familiar squish of hooves against her cheeks.
“Look at you,” Pear Butter said, starry-eyed. “You’ve grown up so much.”
“Ma, you’re embarrassing me.”
Pear Butter simply gave a knowing smile in response. That smile quickly vanished, however, and a deep wrinkle of concern wrote itself plainly across her face.
“Something wrong, Buttercup?” said Bright Mac.
“No, it’s fine. It’s just... Honey, you do understand what it means that our daughter is here, right?”
Bright Mac’s eyes went wide, and he silently mouthed an ‘oh.’
“Er... am Ah missing something here?” said Applejack.
Both of her parents looked at each other anxiously. “...Is the family okay?” said Bright Mac. “They ain’t taking it too hard, are they?”
“Taking what too hard?” Applejack replied. But before she had even finished the sentence, she’d arrived at the answer. She rubbed at the back of her neck, tripping over her own words as she spoke. “...Oh. Right, that. Er, Ah... well, the thing is... Ah’m not actually dead yet?”
The blank stares she received from her parents were almost painful to look at. Applejack tensely rubbed her own leg with a forehoof as her mother and father huddled together, speaking to each other in hushed tones.
“...She still hasn’t figured it out? What do we say to her?”
“Calm down, dear. It’s normal for folks to be in denial. Just be gentle, Ah’m sure she’ll reach her own conclusions.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow, and coughed loudly into her hoof. “Not to be disrespectful or anything, but Ah heard all of that.” Ignoring the startled glances she received, she continued. “...and what Ah said was true. It’s, uh... hard to explain, but Ah’ve been given a chance to visit before heading back to the land of the living.”
“Oh?” said Pear Butter.
“...Is that allowed?” Bright Mac added.
A deep sigh escaped from Applejack’s throat. “No. No, it ain’t. Ah don’t know how much longer Ah’ve got left, but in a little while, Ah’ll be sent back. And Ah won’t remember ever being here, neither.” Before she could fully parse her parents’ reactions, Applejack forced out a laugh. “But hey, that ain’t nothing! We can still enjoy each others’ company in the meantime, right?”
“Well... when you put it that way, Ah don’t see why not,” said Bright Mac.
“We’d be happy to have you over,” Pear Butter said. “Why don’t you go help set the table for us? The stew should be ready in just a minute or two.”
“...Sure thing,” she muttered. Just like old times...
————————
Before long, the table had already been set, the familiar ceramic bowls placed atop the tablecloths, set between a soup spoon and a salad fork. Why stew needed a salad fork, Applejack couldn’t say, but her father had insisted on it much like he had in life. She had almost forgotten about that quirk of his.
With the tableware laid out, Pear Butter soon carried out the stew pot, balancing it carefully against her back. Gripping the ladle between her teeth, she deftly managed to serve full portions to every bowl placed before them, before returning the pot back to the stove top.
Yet as she now stared down at the bowl before her, Applejack couldn’t bring herself to eat. Not that it looked unappetizing — it looked exactly as good as she remembered of her mother’s cooking. But as she stared down, thoughts of all that she had missed swirled within her head, drowning out any inclination she might have had towards eating.
“So, Applejack, how are things on the farm?”
“Huh?” Applejack’s head swerved up, and she blinked rapidly. “Er, sorry ma. Got a few things on mah mind. It’s doing alright, Ah guess. Things have been a bit rough ever since Fluttershy passed away. Ah did manage to say hi to her on the way here, so there’s that.”
Pear Butter frowned. “Oh. Well, Ah’m sorry to hear about that.”
“Nah, don’t apologize,” said Applejack. “She’s happy up here, right? And in the end, that’s... w-well, Ah suppose that’s what really matters, right?”
Pear Butter’s frown deepened. The way her eyes scanned over Applejack, softly and yet full of worry, made it clear that she could not hide her own discomfort. Her mother always had a way of knowing if something was wrong.
But before the thought could continue, her father cut in. “So, how’s Apple Bloom been? We heard a while back that she got her cutie mark, is that right?”
“Er... yeah,” said Applejack. “Managed to figure it out with her closest friends a while back. They’d been searching for so long, didn’t even realize their real talents were right under their noses. It’s just... Ah dunno. Something don’t feel right, having to tell you about it second-hoof. Ah sorta figured it’d be the kind of occasion you’d be there to celebrate. Things have been moving so fast lately, and you just... ain’t there.”
Pear Butter looked her straight in the eye. “Applejack...”
Applejack let out a nervous laugh. “But enough about me! Why don’t you tell me what you’ve been doing with your lives? Uh, Ah mean, not lives, but uh...”
“Applejack,” said Pear Butter, “you don’t have to hide your feelings from us. If you really miss us that badly, we understand.”
Applejack’s eyes drifted away from her mother’s gaze. “...That obvious, huh?”
“It’s only natural for you to feel that way,” said Bright Mac. “When we ended up here, the first thing we worried about was how you’d take it.”
“But it ain’t fair,” Applejack protested. “Ah still remember it like it was yesterday. The day the barn caught on fire, you promised me you’d make it back. You said you’d rescue ma, and be back before we knew it. Ah just... never would’ve imagined that you’d never make it out alive.”
Pear Butter looked her in the eye, her form gently glowing with celestial light. “Oh, sweetie...”
“There’s still so much time we could’ve spent together, as a family,” Applejack continued. Despite the clear, soothing aetherial air, she found it more and more difficult to breathe. “And... Ah know Ah ain’t the only one to feel that way. Big Mac, Granny Smith... Hay, Apple Bloom barely even remembers having any parents. And...” She gulped, aware more than ever of the trembling in her hooves. “...And Grand Pear, too. He misses you, ma.”
Pear Butter’s eyes went wide. “Mah father?”
“Yeah,” Applejack said. She’d already felt the beginnings of tears at the edges of her eyes. “We... met him, a few months back. Didn’t rightly know who he was, at first... but he told us everything. All the things you never told us yourselves. Wished he had a chance to make amends. But as far he knows, that ain’t never gonna happen now.”
Silence hung over the dining room table. Applejack’s parents both stared back, exchanging glances with one another and with her.
“You really think your pa’s had a change of heart after all these years?”
“Ah... Ah suppose it’s likely. Ah disappeared from his life so long ago. If anything would get him to soften up, it’s... well, you know.”
“Sorry for bringing it up,” Applejack muttered.
“No need to apologize, dear,” said Pear Butter. “Ah guess Ah figured something like that might happen, just... it ain’t been something we’ve given much thought.”
“Right,” said Applejack, “’cause of paradise and all that.”
Another silence persisted over the dining table. A deep, gnawing sensation began to grow within Applejack’s gut. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and yet she couldn’t even think of anything else to say.
Slowly, the scent of the stew just below her wafted across her nose. There was no denying it, it smelled absolutely delicious. With a steady motion, she grabbed the spoon by her side, dipped it into the bowl, and lifted a spoonful towards her mouth...
...it tasted perfect. Better than she even remembered it being. Better than she ever expected it to be.
And yet, it tasted exactly as good as she would want it to be.
“Mmm. That’s... good. Real good.”
“It is mah own recipe,” said Pear Butter. “Ah figured you’d like it.”
“Y-yeah,” said Applejack. “Hey ma? Can Ah ask you a question?”
“Of course! Go right ahead.”
Applejack turned her head downward, letting the brim of her hat obscure her own view. She couldn’t bear to look her own mother in the eye. Not like this.
“...How am Ah supposed to know that you’re real?”
Silence. Applejack looked up again, and saw the astonishment written plainly on her parents faces. Yet even now her vision remained obscured, not by the brim of her hat, but by the tears that were rapidly welling up in the corners of her eyes.
“Ah want this to be real. Ah really do! But... it’s just too good to be true. And when it’s over, Ah won’t even remember it! It’ll be just like a dream that you forget once you wake up!”
Bright Mac reached out towards her with a hoof, a deep sympathy reflected in the lights of his eyes. “Applejack...”
“It’s just... Ah wish Ah could say for certain that this is really happening! That Ah got a chance to say Ah love you one last time! But there’s j-just... just no way of knowing. And it won’t even matter if Ah did know, because just like that, you’ll be gone again! And... and...”
“Applejack.”
Applejack felt a subtle warmth against her. When she looked up, she saw her mother, standing right next to her, gently placing a hoof against her withers.
“Y-yeah?”
“It’s okay, Applejack. We understand.”
“B-but...”
Before she could finish, Bright Mac had already left his seat, joining her mother by her side. “Ah know you’ll miss us. It’s only natural to. But for as long as you’ll live, you’ll carry a part of us with you. That’s what made you into the pony you are today.”
“And we couldn’t be more proud of that pony,” Pear Butter added.
Applejack couldn’t think to say anything. So many words came to mind, so many things she could have said, but all of it was at once overwhelmed by the raw emotions that sprung forth without provocation. As the floodgates opened, she found herself openly bawling, surrounded on all sides by her parents’ warm embrace.
Minutes passed, for what seemed to Applejack like ages. When the tears finally dried, she looked into her parents eyes one last time. As she gave them one last solid look, the world around them began to fade, leaving only the sight of her parents against an ever-encroaching void of blinding white.
“Looks like it’s time for me to go,” said Applejack. “Ma, pa... Ah’ll never forget what y’all meant to me. Thank you.”
And as the world faded to white, Applejack could hear words of gratitude being given in return.