The Equestrian Omni-Knight

by Azure5555


A Vampire and Her Wolf Walk Into a Desert Pt2: Castle Crashers

“Taboo “Kagome, Kagome!” The Girl cries out, flying through the air and firing a variety of red magical bullets in a heavy barrage in different patterns, a few lazers every now and again fire from empty space. Thankfully, they seemed to be aimed at the Changelings.

“Should we help them?” Luna asked.

I shook my head, hopeful that the pair could take down thirty some odd insects.

Of course, now that the bugs took notice of me and my current predicament as a sitting duck, a good group of eight began to charge downwards.

The now flying girl pulls out a strange clock hand like object, almost twice as tall as herself, twirling it a bit. “Taboo: Lævatein!” She shouted before holding it to the side with both hands and fire a large laser from the tip.

The two changelings that were trying to flank her were suddenly thrown back like they were slashed across by something.

Now nothing but aerial stepping stones, the two Changelings were tossed to the ground as the pup landed on both in quick procession, making a beeline for the clustered group heading my way.

With a satisfying clang, the lead changeling dropped as the three to its side had their wings sliced off by the constantly spinning disc.

The final four however found golden blades now impaled through their heads, courtesy of Shining Armor.

The blonde did not relax however, glancing around  in caution with a nervous flap of her wings.

I ceased my buffing melody and took a breath. 'Please don't be mad please don't be mad.’ “OI!!! The sun is absolutely boiling out here! Take cover and regroup!” I shout at the child.

She looks to me, her wary look giving way to innocent confusion. “Feels fine to me.” She says sincerely before floating our way regardless and with a friendly smile to boot. The wolf pup was sultering towards us as well, glancing behind it once and then twice.

I started to tense up, and without thinking I gave a bow in show of respect. “I'm so sorry for the trouble!”

“Azure? Did you just bow?” Luna asked me with a bit of shock.

“What are you two doing!? We're in the presence of a Divine being!”

Almost immediately as that left my lips, an echoing voice intervened. “Don’t worry about it, god or no, I’m not upset over the trouble. Also, stop bowing...please…” The female voice echoes through the group's minds.

“Sorry! Sorry...it's just...you can't be too careful... especially someone with my... condition.” I say with a hint of worry.

Rubbing my arm and coughing rather awkwardly, I regain my composure. “Apologies, I'm being rather rude. Azure Darksoul, these are my companions, Ex-Captain Shining Armor and the Lunar Princess, Luna.”

“I’m Flandre, Flandre Scarlet!” The blonde girl says with a polite greeting bow. “But Flan is just fine!”

“And I’m Okami Amaterasu, or just Ammy for short.” The wolf pup nods to them. “Flandre is my Divine Messenger.”

“When I said I was hoping for outworlders, I don't think I was expecting this,” Shining stated as he held a hoof to Flandre. “You've got really powerful magic.”

The young girl gives a slightly shy and small laugh. “Nyehehe, thank you. I’m still practicing.” She says, rubbing her head a bit, her other hand twirling the weird clock hand.

“Azure,” Luna looked up at me with a...weird expression. “Would you say she's adorable by human standards?” She asked.

“Yeah, why?” I say with a stoic expression.

Luna walked up to Flan, embarrassment written over her face. “Would it be alright if I...hugged you?”

She answers with a nod, extending her arms with a giggle.

Without a moment's notice, Luna pounced on the child as the two rubbed their heads together.

“Too cute…”

Meanwhile, Ammy was shaking her head in amusement, seeming to smirk a bit.

Digging a small pit in the ground, I charged a ball of fire and set it in the crevice.

“Who's hungry? I've got Ursa meat, and Shiny’s packed fruits and veggies if overgrown star bear isn't your cup of tea.” I said as I took a seat on the floor and impaled a rather sizeable chunk of meat on a rapier.

Shining started unpacking several apples and eggplants, as well as a frying pan.

At this, the pup’s tail starts to wag back in forth. “Would you mind if we joined you?” She asks, keeping her drooling to the minimal.

“Of course miss Ammy, I wouldn't have offered otherwise.” I said with the tilt of my head, a smile on my face. “Now you're both probably wondering,” I pulled out a katana, slicing the large piece of bear and impaling it mid-air.

I fixed the handle onto the ground, ensuring it wouldn't go anywhere. “What a group like ours is doing this far into the Badlands.” I repeat the slicing process with a short sword, putting another sizeable chunk of meat out for grabs.

“Eggplants done, got a spear?” Shining asked me.

With a swift motion, I impaled the ground with a long and simple rod, several slices of eggplant now being skewered onto the rod of metal.

“Yes, we are curious.” Ammy states while Flandre just sits in mid air. “Well, I’m curious at the very least…”

I take a good bite from my mound of fleshy goodness, savoring the still running blood. “Mm, yeah… ugh this stuff is great…” I swallowed and took a breath. “Search and rescue. A princess who was being a complete dumbass,”

“Hey!” Shining shouted in defense.

“Ugh, who thought taking on a dragonic army ALONE was a good idea, got herself captured by the queen of Changelings.”

I missed the looks on the two, the strange large beads of something dripping on the sides of their faces before vanishing.

I cleansed my sword in fire and picked up the last two chunks of bear, handing one blade each to Flan and Ammy.

“You two mind if it's rare?” I ask.

“Sure!” Flandre says.

Without another word, Ammy had closed her jaws on the katana held in my right.

I had to stifle a laugh, the scene far too adorable for human comprehension.

Apparently, I underestimated the amount of cuteness! Chibi Flandre Activate! I guess she works with anime physics.

Ensuring my mind wouldn't be consumed by the amount of cute, I took a few calming breaths.

“We're basically up against a veritable army here, so I would like to ask of your assistance. Please.” Putting my hands upon my knees, I bowed my head to an inch off the ground.

Shining… or Luna, I honestly couldn't tell from my current position, poked my head twice.

“Yeah yeah, she said no bowing,” I dusted my hair and raised my head. “It's a reflex.”

“Gekigami would be eating this up…” Ammy says with a small unamused tone while Flandre just giggles a bit.

“Twenty kilos. I'll throw in twenty kilos if you help us.” I offered.

“Kilos?” Flandre says, blinking a bit as she was unsure what I was talking about.

“What? Oh sorry... pounds. I'll throw in forty four pounds of fresh meat if you help us rescue Cadence. Sorry… I was living in Mexico before uh… this.” I stated, as I made arm motions over the entirety of my body.

“Well~” Ammy was obviously captivated by the offer.

“I’d help anyways…” Flandre says with a pointed look to the pup.

“If we're all in agreement then, let's find the heart of the changeling hive, rescue the princess, and stop whatever big bad that's waiting for us.” I say as I jump to my feet.

“If I see a Toad, I’m going to bat him to the Celestial Isles if he so much as goes ‘Thank you!’” Ammy says with a deadpan tone.

“I don't know what that means, but if it makes you happy, I'm pretty sure I can incinerate it where it stands.” I say matter of factly.

I lead the group onwards deeper into the desert. The piles of bone and crystal had grown in size and abundance the farther we went, as well as the heat of the surrounding area.

“Getting a weird sense of Deja Vu…” Flandre suddenly speaks up, looking very, very, VERY bored out of her skull.

“If you even hint at wanting to kill something, I'm going to have Deja Vu…” I say as I kick away a skull.

She makes a displeased hum, a nervous twitch in her wings.

“You alright Flan? Need your medicine?” Ammy questions, having spaced from atop the Blonde’s head.

Flan just shakes her head silently.

With a bit of worry, Luna trotted closer to Flan. “Are you ill? Is there anything we can do to ease your pain?” She asked.

“Kinda, but there's no healing that can help it.” Flandre says with a dismissing smile. “I’ll be fine, thank you.” She says with a grateful bow..

The ground rumbles subtly beneath my feet, the sounds of a drill becoming increasingly louder.   

“Not to pry but… well, I just want you to know…” A flame encased changeling came barreling from between my feet. My vision goes red as the world around me slows to a crawl. I hover my left hand over the nose of the firebug, letting it’s head impact my palm with a sickening crunch. “...You have nothing…” I throw my palm back down and crush the bug underneath the weight of its own momentum. “To hide from us… oh, and prepare for contact.”

Like mortars, a ring of bugs had burst from the ground and began to hover around us. Flandre takes to the air, bringing out her strange elongated clock hand from thin air again as a pentagram forms and hovers behind her. Ammy takes an aggressive stance growling as her reflector glows in anticipation.

“Uuuughhh and now I’m triggered…” I say with a bit of bloodlust seeping from me.

“Taboo: Lævateinn!” Flandre screams, firing her laser at the group of enemies.

Rushing a pair of bugs, I grab hold of their windpipes and position them in just the right way. Two stray beams slice through their foreheads and the two go limp in an instant. “To those faint of heart, please exit stage left!” Reaching behind me, I grab a bug and crush it’s head with my own. “And to those who don’t want to know what the inside of a sun looks like, GTFO!!!”

With a vicious spin, I spread my wings and go airborne, all the while charging a Mass of Incandescent Gas.

Ammy immediately recognises the threat and retreats to a safe distance.

However… “Tch, get off of me!” Flandre cries, her flight being intersected by a couple of firebugs on her back and nipping on her.

Unfortunately, I had already gone into my descent and neither Shining, nor Luna were in sight. The bomb went off, collapsing a good portion of ground and bathing everything else in destructive plasmic fire.

The light of the blast subsided, the damage having already been done… “Oh Hell… folks… headcount please…”  Ammy raises a paw silently, her head turning to look around for Flandre.

Shining and Luna had popped out from the sand that wasn’t hit, several layers of hardlight shields covering them.

“Flan! FLAN!” I was now completely frantic. Without so much as thinking, I let my vampiric aspect slip and now it may have cost the life of an innocent.

“...H-here…” I heard a small voice croak from around the corner of a small tiny hill.

“Great balls of fire! I'mma comin’!” I shout in a frantic run, Ammy following after me quickly.

We rounded the corner…

She was about as far from ‘bad shape’ as anybody could be. Nevermind her heavily burnt skin and flesh, some of it really black, and her left eye looking completely useless now, but her right leg was missing entirely and up to above her left elbow and all of her right arm was gone too. A wing was almost completely gone too, every crystal that managed to survive was scorched to Hell.

Do I even need to mention the major portions of missing clothing? Cause I don't think I'm gonna.

Still, she was alive. Nocked about nigh unconscious… but alive. Though, not sure if that's good or bad considering the pain she must be going through…

I look down at Ammy more than a little worried.

“Uh… so conventional healing is moot… when was the last time she fed?” I ask.

“Wait what? How did you…” Ammy asks slowly, on edge at the question.

Rolling my eyes, I simply went into what I referred to as “Bullet Time”, my eyesight and eyes having gone red.

“When was the last time she fed? I ask to make sure she's okay.” I say with a bit of force. I move to pick up little Flan, ensuring that none of her exposed skin got caught on anything.

“...Two days ago.”  Ammy finally answers. “She can go for another two or three, but I’d rather have her feed by dinner.”

'Shit!’ “Well… I’d say she needs blood now… how’s she usually get her blood?”

“Blood Bags donated from the hospital.” Ammy replies smoothly.

“Don’t like… ’from the tap’...” Flandre adds to that with a groan.

“Mm… and that means?” I look at Ammy a little confused.

“She means she doesn’t like to drink directly from a person.” Ammy clarifies.

“Oohhhhh. I'm sorry, I can be very slow.” I said with an apologetic smile. “Does it need to be pony and or human blood, or can it be from an animal?”

“...Actually, I’m not sure if she can drink from animals. Our world is far more populated by humans with features from their equivalents. Unicorns are humans with crystals, and Griffins are just taller people with extra large wings for example.” Ammy says with a tilt of her head.

“Fffffff… okay. Well… I'm really the only human around…. that and… I have no idea what my blood would even do to her if she did drink it…” By this point I was now shitting bricks at how fucked I potentially was. “Feel like taking a chance?” I ask Flan.

She looked very displeased about this, more than I was expecting. “...Not really… Last time I did… I drained them dry…”

“Wait what, when did this happen?” Ammy interrupts.

“When I was summoned by Angel. She’s fine, she has a respawn thingy…” She says with a wince, her talking irritating her wounds.

“You won't be draining me, I’d basically be dropping it onto you as carefully as possible.” I shift a little to keep her steady. “But if you feel like toughing it out, it's your choice.”

“I-I’ll heal anyways…” Flandre makes the decision quickly, looking away.

“Not fast enough if we’re going into enemy territory…” Ammy notes out loud.

I give a guttural groan and slump my shoulders a bit. “I can tank hits for you if you want…”

“N-no.” That seemed to make her just a little more unhappy. “...Fine, give me some blood…” She says with a slump.

I gave a small nod and positioned her so that my right arm was now holding her waist and her head was nestled on the crook of my elbow. I raised my free arm to my mouth and began to fiddle with my wrist until I finally got past the scales covering me.

Once I had a tooth plunged, I pulled back, causing a noticeable tear.

“Azure we didn't want to disturb yo-SWEET GODDESS!!”

The distressed sounds of Luna’s cry made me flinch as I almost dropped Flan.

“Yes well… You seem busy at the moment. Come along Captain!” Once I could no longer hear the beating of her nervous heart, I focused back to the task at hand.

“Open up, and don't worry about taste, I'm O negative.” I hover my now bleeding wrist over Flandre and urge her to drink the falling droplets.

She was obviously very nervous about the people watching, but the sight of blood… It had an interesting reaction. The liquid was so close enough that her pupils snapped into catlike slits, though even then, they were far thinner than a cat would even be able to manage.

Her irises also had a noticeable glow to them. Not to mention she almost lunges at the drops of blood.

“Nope.” With reflexes just as quick, I raise my arm to a height she couldn't reach. “Totally okay if you drain me, but today's the kinda day where I need at least most of my blood. Now ease up.” I lock eyes with her, hoping that she heeds me.

She was struggling to hold herself back… she must be slightly feral then if she can hold herself back enough. At least she was ready to feed...

Sighing, I brought my wrist down again and squeezed, allowing droplets to fall onto her lips. “The things I do…” Ammy walks in between me and the others while her charge licks the blood off of her lips, her fangs much more prominent.

Minutes had passed, the ordeal having cost me a good litre and a half of blood. Good news? I wasn't passing out. Better news? Flan seemed quite a bit more lively if her constant attempts at trying to bite my wrist off was any indicator.

“Well, we're good to go I think. Ammy? You mind if I strap her to my back?” I ask the pup.

“Go right ahead.” She says with a nod, glancing at Flandre as she began to heal.

I move her as gently as possible, lifting her up and easing her on my back. Once I felt her chest on my back, I had her wrap what was left of her only arm around my neck. Once I felt she was as stable as she was ever going to get, I propped my Horro Show Vindicator shield on her back as it clamped its void tendrils around my chest.

“That should keep her from falling off, and don't bite down on my neck, you’ll hurt your teeth trying.”

With a small huff, I made my way to the mouth of the hole I had opened up earlier, the others following me with equal amounts of worry written over their faces.

“Side effects may include an increase in hair growth and a handful of scales, but just keep me from biting you and it'll be temporary… I hope.”

“O-okay?’ Flandre says in a slightly… concerning tone for her age, but she still seemed to be out of it. Her eyes hadn’t changed either, still sharp and glowing.

“Is she going to be alright? Twilight's told me about that move you did… I'm surprised she even survived.” Shining stated, stealing glances at the young one strapped to my back.

“She's tough, most vampires are.”

“So she is like you?” Luna asked with a bit of concern.

I tilt my head back and forth. “Eh... she's not exactly like me, and I doubt she'd even want that kinda burden. Well, if we're all done standing around…” I leapt into the awaiting maw, grinding my feet and left arm on the cascading sands to ease my descent.

“You can't just! Ohhh why do I even bother…” I heard Luna complain as she flew in after me.

Ammy had jumped onto Luna’s back the second the Princess started to fly. “Mind if I catch a ride?” The wolf pup asks her.

A little startled but unperturbed, Luna gave a small nod. I glanced at the pair… the sight made my heart skip a beat.

“Really… really too cute…”

The sounds of shifting sand shook me from me reverie, Shining had taken to surfing down the abyss with a hard light shield.

“I’ll scout ahead and clear a path!” He shouted.

'For the love of-’ “Damn it Armor! Get back here! Luna, go after him and make sure he doesn't kill himself.”

“Hold on Amaterasu!” The mare dive bombed after the unicorn, leaving me and my cargo to a slow and uneve-

Circles of red light began to shine through the falling sand. “Feck. Omni-Systems! I need firearms!”

[Loading Ice Ten Blasters]

“I've got this, so you just sit back and relax.”

Flandre makes a small whine but nods anyways.

The bugs pop from the ground one by one like moles, that is to say, all I saw of them were their heads. I jumped from my skid and began to hop from head to head, this worked until one of them shot a plume of fire from under me.

This is where the Blasters came in. Those bugs that opened their jaws had their heads encased in ice.

“Shoot shoot shoot shoot, kick! Step! And two shoot shoot shoot, kick! Step! Again!”

“Taboo:... Four of a Kind!” I hear Flandre call out.

“Lets do this!” I heard her shout, followed by… echoes of Flandre’s voice? A bug was tackled suddenly, Flan seeming to have recovered as she grabs it and spins the bug around to throw it into the air.

‘Wait, isn't she missing her disc?’ I thought.

“Hiya!” Another voice yells as a loud cracking noise in the ground diverts my attention to a second Flandre drop kicking a bug.

“Magical constructs… but, how is this not making you tire-oh you're still tired.” I say as I look back to the still very charred body on my back. “Well, I'm not gonna stop ya, but you really should rest.”

With one last vault, I land right next to the others, Shining flagging us down as a few Changelings fell flat on their faces. “You guys find the castle yet?” I ask.

“Is that the castle?” Shining asked as he pointed to a half sunken and shattered mass of what looked like a fortress.

“Large towers, crumbling ruins?” A clone states lazily and somewhat sarcastically. “Large walls, torn flags… Yup, I’d say so.” She says with a shrug as she floats in a lounging position.

“You heard her folks, let's go into the barely stable ruins and rescue Shiny’s wife.”

“Hey! I haven't even proposed yet!” Shining shouted.

“Wonder if I can completely demolish it afterwards…” Another clone, her eyes completely slit, says with a very worrying grin.

“Oh come on… I wanted to blow it up…” I whined as I took point.

Her grin grew. “Both of us can~!” And her eyes flashed yellow. “Big nuke. Maybe with a couple inside…” And the following giggle earned a slap from another clone.

The entrance was rather cavernous… that's saying something since we were all basically inside of a fairly large cavern to begin with.

I channeled a charge of Destruction Burst, placing it on the entrance. The only sane members of our group giving me questioning looks. “What? Charging what amounts to magical C4 takes forever. This will cut down on time, and it's not like I'm gonna detonate it now.”

“And what if our enemies force the charge before you do?” Asked Luna.

“Pfft, like they'd even know the frequency…”

“I’d just take it out here and now.” The fourth and final clone states, looking very impatient and in a foul mood.

I casually point a thumb her way as we enter what looked like an ant colony crossroads. “I like her, she gets me.” I drop another charge onto the floor.

“Okay Shiny, this compass should lead you to Cadence. Try not to die.” I hand the unicorn a brass compass with a chain attached to it. Taking it, he nods as he descends into one of the many holes.