Phoenix Down

by GJT_Productions


The Neighsayer

"Stratocumulus, slow down! I know there must be something wrong because the night shift hasn't been rotated out of their assignments yet."

"They're dead, Captain! The pair of them!"

"WHAT?! Who?"

"Just come with me to the barracks, sir!"

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The too-familiar knot in his stomach reappears for Captain Gibraltar as he follows Lieutenant Captain Stratocumulus at full clip toward the morning shift barracks. It was already bad enough that the morning lottery for giving out assignments had to be delayed because of this, but now the implications of two losses to his command compounded the worry.

The mood was supposed to be upbeat, with a planned informal celebration of the rebirth of Princess Celestia's pet Philomena set for the next few days and the Grand Galloping Gala coming in the next month. Gibraltar had begun to believe that the disruptions caused by the Agents of Chaos had ended with the abortive attempt by Lieutenant Troilus to persecute the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but now all the old worries were surfacing again.

When Gibraltar arrives at the morning-shift pegasus building in the barracks, he is shocked to see two pegasi stallions limp on the floor, surrounded by a semi-circle of their comrades and squad Lieutenant showing numb shock over the dramatic turn of events. Gibraltar lays beside the limp pegasi and uses his unicorn magic to turn one over on his back - there is no immediate sign of what killed them, but the bluish-tinge inside the open mouth and a small puddle of a blue liquid quickly suggest a sadly-familiar mechanism.

"Sir, there's some paper sticking out from under the other stallion." Stratocumulus comments, and Gibraltar turns his attention away from the one stallion he's currently focused on to carefully use his unicorn magic to extract several sheets of parchment which had laid on the floor.

The squad of the now-dead pair of pegasi crowd around the two superior officers as Captain Gibraltar begins to read the text on one of the sheets, typed in red ink with all-capital letters: "YOU BOTH KNOW THERE WILL BE A HEARING OVER WHAT HAPPENED. YOU BOTH KNOW YOU WERE OF CHAOS. YOU CANNOT AVOID THIS ANY LONGER. THE SOLUTION IS IN THE BOTTLE - SAVE CELESTIA THE TROUBLE AND DO IT YOURSELVES."

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Gasps spread through the gathered crowd as Gibraltar worriedly looks over the other sheets of parchment, which seem to indicate the two pegasi now dead - the ones that accompanied Princess Celestia and Philomena in the trip to Ponyville and had been negligent enough to let Fluttershy take away Philomena - had once sworn written oaths to join the Agents of Chaos and serve Agent Snake, but had been away on leave when "Operation Whirlwind" had been executed, preventing them from joining that rebellious effort that would've marked them as traitors.

"I don't understand, we've accounted for every Agent of Chaos found on their membership list! And if they aren't Agents and somepony made this up to trick them into thinking Celestia would give them a death sentence..." Stratocumulus breathlessly exclaims.

"The hearing was not even supposed to matter, since the whole deal was a test on Princess Celestia's part." Gibraltar adds as gloomy concern returns to his expression. "It was supposed to be just a formality required by E.U.P. Guard protocol. The charges of negligence would be brought up and then immediately dismissed with prejudice on Celestia's personal decree. Even if somepony wanted to incriminate them, they wouldn't have had a chance to submit this to the tribunal..."

"Then I'm in trouble, sir. Big trouble." Stratocumulus exclaims, eyes wide with horror. All attention now turns to focus on him after the Lieutenant Captain makes this apparently out-of-nowhere statement.

"What in all Equestria do you mean, Lieutenant Captain?!" Gibraltar exclaims in turn upon seeing his subordinate's horror.

"Lieutenant Troilus is behind this, I'm sure of it. The punishment detail hasn't deterred him, just drove his efforts undercover. He's going to try to take out every pegasus on this shift by pouncing on the first fault in their service, this was just the test run." Stratocumulus breathlessly explains. "I'm the biggest target, because he thinks he should be Lieutenant Captain instead of me. I'm sure I'm next, and then... who knows?!?"

"Calm down, Lieutenant Captain, you're letting your imagination run away with you!" Gibraltar replies, trying to tamp down the growing panic in the pegasus stallion.

"But sir, I can see it in his eyes - he hates me and wants me dead with every ounce of his being." Stratocumulus starts again. "He knows what I was, and that Celestia chose me over him. I never wanted to be a general officer, my talent is in engineering, that's where I belong, sir! Not here!"

"Maybe it is true you originally joined the service to get into the Engineering Corps." Gibraltar dryly replies one more time. "But Aten's lust for power and heart of treason ensured you were set on a different path - he lied to you as much as to rest of us - and then you were given the opportunity to escape from his trap, in service to Princess Luna. A cutie mark isn't a destiny, no matter how much someponies might argue otherwise. And Celestia wouldn't have you here if she didn't support you. Don't ever forget that."

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MEANWHILE, IN THE OFFICES OF THE EQUESTRIA EDUCATION ASSOCIATION...

"You know Troilus, it's a good thing we're off-duty this week, gives us breathing room dealing with those pegasi." Guard Upper Class Lyacon comments as he and Lieutenant Troilus, both wearing their dress uniforms, pass by the ominously darkened and looming main meeting chamber of the EEA and duck down into a side hallway containing the officers of the individual board members. Their destination was the largest and most prestigious office, where the Chancellor of the Equestria Education Association conducted business.

"I still think we should avoid dealing with batponies at all costs, though. I don't know if those Thestrals could see through the cover or what, but I was just glad Lieutenant Vesper didn't run us off the castle grounds before we could strike." Lieutenant Troilus comments.

"What are we even doing here though, sir?" Lyacon asks again as the two unicorns proceed down the side hallway.

"Didn't you read yesterday's Canterlot Daily like I told you to?!" Troilus replies in irritation, using his unicorn magic to pull out a folded-up newspaper from the saddlebag he was wearing as he does so.

"I did, but I didn't really see..." Lyacon begins to reply before Troilus abruptly stopping in his movements forces him to do the same.

"Here, read this!" Troilus exclaims, using green-colored unicorn magic to shove a newspaper in Lyacon's face.

Lyacon takes it, levitating the paper with the same color magic as Troilus has, and begins reading the article in front of his face: "Captain of the Canterlot Guard Gibraltar announced yesterday in a press conference that the death of Equestria Education Association Chancellor Trailblazer was now being investigated as 'a suspicious act'. Trailblazer, the first earth pony to hold the position of Chancellor in the history of the EEA and known for spearheading controversial reform efforts, was found dead of apparent cyanide ingestion one week ago after being publicly incriminated as a member of the traitorous 'Agents of Chaos' by Vice-Chancellor Neighsay, also of the EEA. However, toxicology tests have determined cyanide poisoning was not the actual cause of death, and the matter is now being investigated as a homicide instead of a suicide according to a press release obtained by the Canterlot Daily. Neighsay, having assumed the position of Acting Chancellor of the EEA after Trailblazer's death, declined to comment on the press release or speculate on the cause of Trailblazer's death."

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"You see, Lyacon? I sense a kindred spirit in the Acting Chancellor." Troilus begins to explain once Lyacon has finished the article. "Maybe he can't join our crusade directly, but I'm sure he can help in other ways. And of course, we should be willing to do a few favors for him in exchange for his support."

"Of course, sir. So I assume that is who we are meeting today?" Lyacon asks.

"Indeed. Now let's not keep him waiting."

After speaking this, Troilus resumes his march down the hallway, Lyacon stumbling to catch up to him. The two stallions approach the large door at the end of the hallway, the handles and locks on the door gilded with gold, and Troilus raps on the door with a forehoof. A pause, then the stallions look at each other when there is no immediate response. Troilus dares to push the door, which opens inward with a creaking noise. The stallions pause again, then push the door all the way open.

Troilus and Lyacon cautiously step into the EEA Chancellor's office, immediately noticing the low lighting and musky smell filling the room as well as their hoofsteps being muted by carpet underneath. Various glowing objects dangle from the ceiling above, and walls on the left and right feature lights that cycle through a rainbow of colors. The entire effect places both stallions in a degree of unease, and Lyacon dares a comment as both stallions approach a massive ebony desk: "This place reminds me of an old drawing of where Star Swirl the Bearded practiced his magic..."

"You like it? It's certainly a massive improvement over what Trailblazer left behind. Stallion had absolutely no taste whatsoever..." a voice sounds out from the other side of the desk, mixing malevolence and charm in a manner that made Troilus and Lyacon even more unsettled than before. Initially, all the other two stallions could see was the back of a brick-red plush chair, but an orange-colored magic aura envelopes the chair and slowly causes it to rotate, revealing a thin grey-coated stallion with a slicked-back mane, a goatee, and turquoise-colored eyes that pierced like daggers in the darkness of the office.

"Chancellor Neighsay, I presume?" Troilus asks the stallion sitting in the chair, nerves showing for the first time in his voice.

"Acting Chancellor, but I hope to change that soon enough. I'm guessing you are the Guard Lieutenant and his number one squad member that made the appointment yesterday?" Neighsay smoothly replies.

"Yes, sir. I am Lieutenant Troilus, and this is Guard Upper Class Lyacon." Troilus answers in turn, Lyacon only daring a small wave when his name is mentioned.

"Very good. Let's get straight to business. For too long, a Starmover unicorn like me has chafed under an earth pony's rule, and now that Trailblazer is dead it is only proper that I become the next Chancellor." Neighsay begins. "The problem is that Princess Celestia will never approve this happening if she can find a different candidate for the position. Do you two stallions see where I am going with this?"

Both Troilus and Lyacon nod in affirmation, and the former coyly speaks again: "I sense we are kindred spirits and that cooperation will greatly benefit both of us. If you do us one favor, we promise to... 'eliminate' any alternative candidates for the Chancellorship position and force Celestia to confirm your appointment."

Neighsay pauses for a few moments to consider the words of Troilus, and then replies as follows: "I am intrigued. What favor of it that you seek of me in exchange for the promised services?"

"We need an army for Prince Blueblood and myself to lead in glorious battle against the Agent of Chaos traitors, and we need it quickly. The best way to gather this army is rile the unicorn mob, and you have the power to rile them up quickly if you so choose. I would like a copy of this flier distributed to every unicorn foal of two unicorn parents in the Canterlot school district." Troilus answers, levitating with green magic a rolled-up piece of parchment onto Neighsay's desk as he speaks.

Neighsay eyes the scroll briefly, then picks it up with his own orange magic and unrolls it, leaving Troilus and Lyacon in breathless suspense for what seemed like an hour as the Acting Chancellor scans the contents of the scroll. Finally, the grey stallion gives his reply: "The Wonderbolts are vain idiots, and Celestia let them off way too easily for associating with those traitors. Certainly I will have the unicorns attack them at the first Canterlot show coming soon. Those pegasi are going to get what's coming to them, and if I can help bring down Celestia's favorite in the Royal Guard, that'll make the victory even sweeter."

"So then, Chancellor, do we have a deal?" Troilus asks eagerly, Lyacon joining in with vigorous nod.

"Indeed, Lieutenant, we do. Now go and eliminate the challengers, and be assured, comrades of the belief of unicorn superiority, I will keep my end of the bargain..."