Twilight,
We're having a wonderful time in Neighpon. Princess Celestia arranged the most amazing vacation for us! Please pass along our thanks...
* * * * *
//Welcome to Narata International Mareport,// an accented voice greeted over the public address system. //We hope you enjoy your stay in Neighpon.//
Lavender Rose and Sable Star, saddlebags stuffed to the seams, cantered through the crowded mareport, gawking at everything around them. "Wow, this is...incredible," Lavender said.
"It's packed," Sable grunted. "I've never seen so many ponies in one place."
Lavender pawed the floor nervously. "Do you...do you think it was a good idea? I mean, just leaving Velvet with—"
"We needed this," Sable said. "YOU needed this." He smiled. "Besides, Twilight Sparkle is the most organized, responsible pony I know, and the Princesses themselves are helping look after our little miracle."
"I know, but that just makes me feel more—"
"I know," Sable said, nuzzling her. "But trust me, nopony thinks you're a bad mother for needing some time away. A lot of new mothers take a vacation when their foals are a couple of months old. It's only natural."
"I guess..."
They waited in line to get their passports stamped; the tiny Neighponese mare at the passport counter greeted them with a polite, practiced smile and guided them through the process in clipped, efficient Equestrian. Once they were done, they moved on to the exchange counter, where they handed over their bits and received sealed plastic trays of small, shiny steel balls. "This is money here?" Lavender asked dubiously.
"Aa, hai," the exchange counter worker—a tiny Neighponese mare virtually identical to the one at the passport counter—said, nodding and bowing. "Ponichinko ball in Neighpon is same as bit coin in Equestria." She gestured with a hoof at a whiteboard on the wall. "Here is exchange rate. Please study and thank you."
"Thank you," Sable replied. They took a moment to memorize the exchange rate, but decided it was far too troublesome to count the strange Neighponese currency standing around in the mareport, so they took it on faith that they hadn't been cheated, stowed the ball trays in their saddlebags, and moved on.
The Narata Mareport was located in the bustling capital city of Edoe; on the flight, the Equestrian couple had learned that Neighpon was originally founded and ruled by deer, until the Sats-Uma Rebellion, where unicorns overthrew the Emperor and established equine rule. Despite this, they had retained many of the original names and traditions of the Edoe regime as a show of respect for their fallen foes.
Of course, to two tourists from Equestria, all that really mattered was that there were lots of sights to see and lots of shops to spend their bits—er, balls—in.
"So...what do we do now?" Lavender asked.
Sable considered this. "I'm honestly not sure," he replied. "I guess we find a place to—"
He trailed off; a large cardboard sign with their names written on it was floating over the heads of the herd of travellers.
The couple blinked, then looked at one another questioningly. Shrugging, they pushed their way through the milling crowd, headed for the beckoning sign.
They encountered a balding Neighponese unicorn stallion who was considerably smaller than Sable Star. He wore glasses with thick, square black plastic frames and sported a black suit jacket and necktie; his cutie mark was a Neighponese symbol they couldn't identify. As they approached, he adjusted his glasses. "You are...Lavender Rose-san and Sable Star-san?" he asked.
"Yes," Sable replied.
The Neighponese unicorn bowed. "My name is Umadakara. I am pleased to meet you. If it pleases you, I have been hired by Celestia-himesama to be your guide here in our country."
The Equestrian ponies blinked in unison. "Princess Celestia hired us a guide?" Lavender asked.
"Aa, hai," Umadakara said, bowing again. "You are most honored guests. Celestia-himesama wants you to have all comforts and courtesy our country has to offer during your stay." He turned and gestured for them to follow. "Dozo—aa, this way," he said.
With a shared shrug, the couple followed Umadakara through the main exit.
* * * * *
They rode the magic-driven unirail across town; Umadakara led them into the biggest hotel they had ever seen.
Well, the only hotel they had ever seen, actually.
"Welcome to Grand Kirin Hotel," Umadakara said. "You have Celestia-himesama's private royal suite for the duration of your stay."
"Wow," Lavender breathed. "This is..."
"I can't believe Princess Celestia went to all this trouble for us..." Sable said, eyes wide.
"Little trouble, little trouble," Umadakara deferred. "Celestia-himesama only visits Neighpon once a year, on the Winter Solstice. It is summer now, so she is far too busy..."
"Yes, of course," Sable nodded. "Still..."
"We have an old saying in Neighpon," Umadakara said. "Do not look a horse's gift in the mouth." At their blank expressions, he coughed. "It may lose something in translation." He smiled. "You get settled in now, rest. You must be tired from the long flight. I will come in the morning, take you on a tour of the city."
"Thank you very much," Lavender said.
Umadakara bowed. "It is my pleasure."
He handed over their room keys and bowed, walking off down a hall and disappearing around a corner. The two vacationers studied a map of the hotel, found their destination, and headed up to Princess Celestia's suite.
* * * * *
The couple had their first uninterrupted night of sleep in months on the extravagant bed in the royal suite. After a sumptuous Equestrian-style breakfast prepared by the hotel's five-star kitchen, Umadakara greeted them, and they left the hotel in a pony-drawn sedan for a tour of the sprawling metropolis of Edoe.
"It's so CUTE!" Lavender squealed. "What is it?"
She, Sable, and Umadakara were in a large, glittery, eye-searingly colorful store full of high-priced merchandise of every conceivable type. Presently, Lavender was enraptured by a plush toy of a yellow mouse-like creature with unnaturally long legs, a stubby tail, and lightning-bolt-shaped antlers.
"Ah, that is Shikachu, from Saddlebag Monster. It is a popular game with colts and fillies," Umadakara explained. "Shikachu is the series mascot, a deermouse."
"A deer...mouse?" Sable queried. "That's...a little weird."
"Well I think it's cute," Lavender said. "I definitely want one."
As they explored the colorful store, Lavender saw a few more things she just had to have, while Sable was mostly bored. By the time they escaped the store, Lavender had spent an entire tray of balls.
"Lunch will be my treat," Umadakara said as Lavender neatly stored her purchases in a saddlebag. "I know a most excellent place, you can try authentic Neighponese cuisine..."
"Sounds great," Sable agreed, his own stomach rumbling. "Lead the way."
After a twenty-minute sedan trip through the heart of the city, they arrived in a district that looked older, more careworn—a lot like Ponyville, actually, except distinctly Neighponese, with strange characters printed on signs, shop curtains, and hanging red paper lanterns, lots of bamboo and lacquered wood and ricepaper ingrained into the architecture, and Neighponese voices raised in conversation and laughter from within partially-open doors.
The group stopped in front of a rather small, quaint-looking establishment, and Umadakara ushered the tourists inside. "The big fancy expensive places are not worth the money," he explained. "You want good food—REAL food—you come to a place like this."
At the counter, a burly stallion with thick black eyebrows and a black mustache stood over a large, hot griddle. He had a twisted headband tied around his forehead and wore a loose white tunic; a broad, sharp knife was clenched in his teeth. "Irasshai," he grunted around the knife. His eyes then lit up with recognition. "Oi, Umadakara! Genki da na?"
"I am well, Umattori," Umadakara replied in Equestrian, subtly gesturing to his two guests. "I have two honored guests with me today. I have promised them fine, authentic Neighponese food."
"Uoooh, you are Equestriajin, no?" Umattori asked with wide-eyed interest in his customers. His Equestrian was heavily accented.
"Yes, we're from Equestria," Sable replied.
"This is Umattori Umanzo," Umadakara explained. "We are old friends." To Umattori, he added, "This is Sable Star-san and Lavender Rose-san." He said something in Neighponese which made the coarse earth stallion chuckle.
"Well, you come to best place for Neighponese food," Umattori said genially. "Tell me, what's your pleasure?"
"We don't really know anything about Neighponese cuisine," Lavender said sheepishly.
"Uso..." Umattori breathed in mock surprise. "Then it is my honor to fix that." He turned and roared out a harsh-sounding order to a pony loitering in the back room, then started rooting through a cooler behind the counter, pulling out various ingredients. The lazy-looking unicorn in the back trotted out, giving the two foreigners a once-over before shrugging and serving them piping-hot tea. He then drew a large mug of frothy beer for Umadakara before retreating into the back.
Umattori began slicing a massive, oblong white radish into thin strips. As he did so, he asked, "So, what do you think of Neighpon so far?"
"It's very...different from home," Sable said. "Very crowded and very...flashy."
Umattori laughed. "Hai hai, Edoe is a big, noisy, flashy city. I much prefer Okinara. That is where I am from. Smaller, quieter." He paused in his slicing, then snorted. "But boring. That is why I came to Edoe." He began pressing the sliced radish into shaped balls of sticky rice, then flattened them out into oblong shapes and wrapped them with dark, wet seaweed. He placed one of the wrapped concoctions before each guest, then busied himself with dicing numerous vegetables, which he scraped into a large bowl full of noodles. He added an array of sauces and spices to the noodles before dumping them out onto the griddle, where they sizzled tantalizingly. As he worked, the two tourists sampled the food in front of them.
"Very interesting," Sable commented. "What exactly is it?"
"Sushi," Umattori replied as he looped two small spatulas onto his forehooves and tended the frying noodles. "Eeeeto...vinegar rice, daikon radish, seaweed." He shrugged. "Simple recipe, not my best, but good introduction."
Over the next hour, Umattori presented the tourists and their guide with an increasingly impressive array of local cuisine. Although the portions were small, the sheer number of dishes he plied them with left them quite full by the time they paid their bill (Umattori had kindly given them a fifty percent discount) and left. Watching him cook had been an absolute delight, and he had been quite the conversationalist as well.
"I'm...a little drunk, so I'm going back to the hotel," Umadakara slurred with a hiccup as they left the diner. "The ponies pulling the sedan will take you anywhere you want to go; just let them know when you're ready to go back to the hotel." Waving a hoof, he flagged down a taxi.
Lavender and Sable opted to just let the sedan ponies haul them all around Edoe at a slow, steady pace, letting them take in the ambience of the city. They saw many interesting sights, and fortunately their surrogate guides spoke enough Equestrian to point out various sites of interest and answer their questions about the things they saw.
And they saw quite a few things indeed: ponies dressed similarly to Umadakara, colts in tight-looking, high-collared uniform jackets with brass buttons, fillies in pleated skirts with white blouses that sported naval collar-flaps and neckerchiefs of assorted colors, and young stallions with teased, feathered, dyed manes and bizarre makeup. In the more dense, urbane parts of the city, massive screens mounted on the sides of buildings depicted young, attractive mares dancing and singing.
There were vending machines EVERYWHERE.
"Drink vending machines, snack vending machines, cigarette vending machines, toy vending machines, CD and DVD vending machines...DIAPER vending machines?!" Lavender exclaimed in disbelief.
"We definitely need one of those back in Ponyville," Sable commented.
By night, they were utterly exhausted. Umadakara presented them with an itinerary for the next few days before they turned in for the night.
* * * * *
The following day, they attended a Sumo Pig wrestling match; that evening, they took in a Kabucki performance. The wild costumes and massive mane wigs the Kabucki actors wore made Lavender giggle. Sable had found the wrestling interesting; the Sumo Pigs were the largest creatures he could remember ever seeing.
The day after that, they had taken a train ride up to Fuji Apple Mountain; it was large and very impressive, and the apples sold by the local vendors were far sweeter and juicier than those they were used to back home.
The next day, they left Edoe and travelled to the city of Oatsaka. Umadakara had not gone with them; rather, they had met a new guide at the train station in Oatsaka, a dark-coated colt named Hayji. Hayji was quite friendly and knowledgeable, and a bit of a sports nut; during the five days they spent in Oatsaka, they took in six baseball games.
Hayji also taught them something Umadakara had neglected to mention: how to use the ponichinko parlors. By the time they left Oatsaka, they had three times as much money as they had entered the country with.
Their Oatsakan guide had accompanied them to the northern province of Hoofkaido, where they luxuriated in outdoor hot springs, and had even travelled with them to Okinara, a decision made in haste after they recalled their conversation with Umattori back in Edoe. Okinara had its own unique culture and flavor which seemed very different from the rest of Neighpon, while still being distinctly Neighponese; Lavender had bought several boxes of a local pastry called sata-andonkey to take back home as presents.
After three days in Okinara, they returned to Oatsaka, where they parted ways with Hayji after one more baseball game. The next day, they took the train back to Edoe; they still had a few more sights to see there, as well as some more souvenir-shopping to do before returning to Equestria.
"This...has been the best vacation ever," Lavender said as the two ponies nestled into the plush bed in Celestia's suite once more.
"Couldn't agree more," Sable said with a smile.
* * * * *
"...we've scheduled our return flight for the end of July, a few days later than we originally planned. Please continue to take good care of our little foal for us until we return," Twilight finished.
Pinkie snorted into her mane, eyes narrowed. "Okay, fine, but just so you know? I'm done with foalsitting."
Twilight backed away slightly, a sheepish look on her face. "Fair enough..."