//------------------------------// // Starlight fixes “Power Ponies” with… SWAT-ting! (Shakespearicles' Starlight Fixes Everything project) // Story: Stuck In The Middle With You // by CoffeeMinion //------------------------------// Most mornings in Ponyville were heralded by roosters crowing at the first hooves of dawn peeking up over Canterlot Mountain. So among the things Twilight wasn’t expecting was to awaken sometime in the early gloom of pre-dawn to the sight, sound, and experience of her bedroom window in Golden Oaks Library exploding. It shattered inward as she screamed in shock, and it showered both herself and the entire room in shards of glass and splinters of wood faster than she could think to put up a force field. Near her, in his basket on the floor, Spike barked with surprise as well. Twilight turned horror-filled eyes on him as he backpedaled out of the basket, tripping over his own claws, and pawing futilely at the gooey mess where his face should— “Hold on,” Twilight said, realizing that she was looking at a face that had just been pied. And that was when her instincts kicked-in, and she lit her horn, projecting out a glowing field mere heartbeats before something creamy went *SPLAT!* upon it. “We’re made!” shouted a brown stallion Twilight didn’t recognize, who was in the middle of tucking-and-rolling across her bedroom floor toward Spike’s basket. “Do it now!” A high-pitched whine sounded from just outside Twilight’s window. She turned her eyes again, and had just enough time to spot a somewhat familiar pale yellow mare with a two-toned pink-and-blue mane raise some kind of complicated-looking device in her hoof— The whine suddenly jumped beyond Twilight’s ability to hear it, but just as suddenly, she found she could feel it… in her horn… which felt like it’d been struck by lightning! Twilight tumbled out of bed, hitting the floor, clutching her horn feebly with both forehooves. Despite the pain, she forced her eyes open, and watched as the yellow mare dropped down into the room. The mare and stallion then both turned their attention on Spike’s basket. No… on his comic book, laying next to the basket. “Are we sure about this?” asked the stallion. “We’ll check it for sure back at HQ,” said the mare. “Can’t be too careful where he’s involved. Go on… bag it.” Then after a moment, she added: “Board it, too. I mean it’s still a comic.” But the two of them weren’t paying much attention to Spike, who was still stumbling about with a faceful of pie… and who, at that moment, plowed bodily into the mare’s side. She staggered, dropping the device. It hit the floor. It cracked. The pain fell away in an instant, and Twilight had her horn lit before the invaders could react, clamping heavy magical bands around both of them. “Who…” she said, levering herself back up to her hooves. “Excuse my Prench, but who in the actual buck are the two of you?!” One of the stallion’s forehooves wasn’t quite contained in the bonds, and Twilight watched as he hastily raised something to his muzzle— “NO!” she shouted, but it was much too late. For as the stallion bit down on the two-chambered capsule, the deadly combination of Pop Rocks and densely-concentrated Pona Cola flooded his mouth with an uncontrollable burst of fizzing and frothing. Twilight turned her head, unable—or unwilling—to watch it take its course. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with,” said the mare. Twilight glared at her through nascent tears. “Tell me: was it worth damaging this beautiful old library? Pieing my Number One Assistant? Forcing me to watch a pony fizzy-pop himself?!” The mare maintained a cool, even look at Twilight, regardless of her bonds. “Yes,” she whispered. “At least, if that comic is what we think it is.” Struggling to hold back a sob, Twilight turned her gaze downward, and spotted a stray bit of the pie that had fallen off Spike’s face. She raised it in her magic, drawing back tension, aiming it at the interloper. “Start. Talking.” “All right. You’re a princess. Anypony else… couldn’t know. But you… they might not feed me my own bon-bons when I get back to the Agency, if I tell just you.” A glob of cream dripped off the pie-piece. Twilight gritted her teeth. The mare took a long breath. “My name is Special Agent Sweetie Drops. I work for an agency called S.M.I.L.E. We hunt monsters. And you… have you heard about… Humans?” Twilight furrowed her brow. “You mean… like the mirror portal?” “No, mirror-humans don’t come through as humans; they end up as indigenous creatures of this realm. I’m talking about real humans. Dimensional displacement. And something calling itself ‘The Merchant,’ which traps them, and sends them here.” “And you think…” Twilight pointed at the comic. “That’s one of the tools that he uses to trap them?” The mare nodded. “We got an anonymous tip last night. But it was very detailed, very plausible… and it came with some pretty good pizza. We couldn’t not take it seriously.” “Pizza?!” Twilight sighed, pressing a hoof to her face. “You know, you could’ve just led with that!”