After Dan and Phoenix were done vomiting, Mirror Twilight got up... and explained why she wasn't coming with them.
"I'm not saying not ever," she explained. "I'm just saying not now."
Phoenix stared into her apologetic eyes for a long time. The same as the other Twilight's, only reversed. Same with her mane- the single mauve stripe was on the other side. Of course, even in the show that same stripe in her mane was known to switch sides. So was she a mirror of Twilight or something, somepony else?
Phoenix took a long breath. "I understand."
"I don't," Dan declared, blatant as always. "But for more practical reasons, your boyfriend is too tubby to fit in the multivator. We're going with that name? Okay... yeah, we're going with that name."
Fat Sent-dammit. I mean, FLASH Sentry, bashfully rubbed a flabby hoof on the back of his pudgy neck. He fat. "Yeah, I uh, kind of have what doctors describe as a bit of a 'weight problem.'"
"Uh huh. Let's test that theory. Hey Doc?" Dan asked Emmett "Doc" Brown, "What would you call this?" He gestured at Flash.
"Great Scott..."
"Flash Sentry, actually, but thanks for the cameo."
"We could've actually had Marty say "This is heavy" or something, but that would've been too obvious," Phoenix added. "Also, we have to save something for the Back to the Future episode."
"Right, well... I'll let you boys get back to it," he said, clapping them on the back.
"Thanks, Doc."
"Thanks Doc."
"You're kinda on the pudgy side yourself, Dan," Phoenix reminded him.
"Hey, I am an adequate weight for my height. I'm not exactly a RUNWAY MODEL but I can see my toes," Dan fired back. "Sumo Sentry here's at an adequate weight for a planet so, there's a difference somewhere."
"And exaggerations everywhere as well," Flash added. "I take it I'm skinny in your universe?"
"Yes. And gay."
"Gay?"
The humans nodded. "Gayer than... uhh... something... that is, uh, gay. You're gay."
"Ahh...huh," Flash said. Rather than being shocked, he seemed to ponder the implications. "That's weird."
"Queer, one might say."
"Why is it weird?" Phoenix asked.
"Well, here I'm uh, kinda bi," Flash explained. Dan and Phoenix exchanged a quick glance, pondering implications of their own. Of course, in their universe, Flash Sentry was both normal-pony-sized and married to Prince Samaritan, formerly King Sombra. And by most reports, both were gayer than... they were gay. I'm sorry, we got nothing on this one. We're TRYING to be sensitive because honestly, they do make a cute couple. A little sensitivity can be a good thing.
"Yeah, and a little landmine can still kill ya," Dan said, arguing with the narrator.
Phoenix rubbed his neck. "You'll have to forgive Dan."
"No they don't."
"-he's kind-of like this. All the time."
"I got that," Twilight said. She reached up and held Phoenix's hand in her hooves. "I appreciate... I'm really, really thankful for everything you've done. You've given all of us a second chance. This universe has another chance because of you."
Phoenix nodded. "I knew you could be nice. Everyone, everywhere has the ability to do and be something good. I believe in giving that as many chances as we can because it can create something wonderful. Something good can come of it," he said, smiling. "I think that's worth it."
"And I really don't," Dan said, arms folded. But he knew that would draw stares to him, the kind that evoked the heart-wrenching emotions, which is why he added, "So... that's why I'm sort-of glad I have you to do that stuff for me, Nicky. That's why I keep you around, anyway."
"So you're not mad at them for being fascist?"
Dan turned away. "Vrrssshh, errrgsshh, mmmbbrrrrd," he mumbled.
"What was that? We couldn't hear you?"
"I'M NOT MAD AT THEM FOR BEING FASCISTS. Now let's get out of here before you ask me to forgive them for keeping slaves."
Mirror Twi and Fat Sentry looked at each other and went, "Uhhhh..."
Prompting Dan to grab Phoenix and say, "And we're done here. Good bye, Nazi pony dimension."
"Dan, you don't have to rush- they're not Nazis now."
"Just be happy we got through this without running into a smiling Mengele pony somewhere," Dan said, literally pushing Phoenix down the hall.
"Good-bye," Flash waved at them. He then turned to Twilight and asked, "What's a Nazi?" She shrugged.
Equestria. The REAL one.
Midsummer Night Castle
*Ding* The doors opened and Phoenix and Dan were very pleased to find themselves back in their own dimension. But the multivator was the only part of the castle still left standing; the eastern hall was completely destroyed.
The last few bars of Always On My Mind played faintly, echoing in the distance where echo shouldn't have been able to come from.
"Is that..." Phoenix looked around, "You hear that?"
"Yeah. Eh, never was much of a pop eighties fan," Dan said. Actually, that wasn't really true, but like most of Dan's statements, they tended to contradict themselves and still somehow be true sooner or later.
The Dan-namic duo found Twilight and the others around the tiny town leading up to the now-wrecked castle. The song they had heard hadn't been coming from any of their assembled friends, but they were playing their own music. In fact, they were all having a party complete with live music from the CMC, of which the Mini Gears were now a part.
"Dan!"
"Dan and Phoenix!" Twilight, Chrys and the gang rushed to Dan and Phoenix as they approached. Purple smart horse hugged lawyer, black girlfriend bug horse hugged pale human.
"So what happened?" Dan asked. "When I left, you all were trying to kill each other."
"Trixie fixed it!"
"No you didn't," Chrys glared at her. Chrys wasn't a Trixie fan, because waifus could sense other potential waifus. She had to maintain her dominance. "WE fixed everything together- mostly with the CMC's help."
Twilight nodded. "It turned out all the seasick ponies were being influenced by the spirit of the ocean, Ponseidon."
"We used Fluffle Puff's absorbent fluff to gather up all the affected ponies and pushed them into the Porto-Fun Cave," Octavia explained. "...Which tops the list of things I never thought I'd say."
"And Lightning powered up the Bass Cannon and we were able to play a song that un-brainwashed all the ponies and griffons!" Vinyl added.
"Was it Pet Shop Boys?" Phoenix asked.
Smiling, Vinyl shook her head. "Nope!"
"And while the Crusaders and the Gear Girls were 'rocking out', my brother and I supplied everypony else with earmuffs!" Flam said.
"For a nominal fee," Flim added, before following up with, "WHICH WE WAIVED!" before Dan could pummel him.
"The sea ponies are back where they belong now. They sing of peace once more."
"Gah!" Dan and Phoenix jumped. Marksaline was standing behind them, as if she had been the entire time.
Dan shook his head. "I don't get it. The WATER was possessing them?"
"The same notes... in a different order create a different song."
Twilight nodded. "The sea ponies we thought we saw... were really all in different versions of Equestria," she explained. "They're only legend here. They're not native to this Equestria. Someone tampered with the castle here and it changed Equestria's oceans..."
"The song of another history intersected here. The singers could not hear themselves over the noise."
"Yeah, whatever she said," Chrys said. "When the sea ponies were summoned here, they brought with them Ponseidon, the water spirit. He's like their version of Princess Celestia or Luna, but for sea ponies. Being here was weird for him, and it made all the sea ponies go kinda nuts."
Dan shook his head. "I don't get it. Where IS this Ponseidon?" From the damp sand of the sand castle, water pooled into a damp puddle. It moved through the ground like a wet spot on the carpet. Water, one thing that can flow through just about everything else, also found it easier to flow through dimensions. It pooled into a single spot and then rose out of it, until it took the shape of a pony.
"Aaaaasssarrrr," the creature spoke. "Oondessar baa-shaela exalll. Ssshoosaela basa. Ooon-basa." The watery shape bowed.
"He says he's grateful for our help. He also kinda said we're all kin, in a way," Chrys said, translating.
"Oondass errrth shass-ooooh soro'neth cossss. Undasss baa shae sundessa? Ho ho ho ho," the creature chuckled.
Chrys smiled. But then, looked puzzled. "He says he's surprised to see someone from Earth here. He didn't think humans could pass through his clouds..."
"What? You mean, like how I got here?" Dan asked. "It was... yeah, it was a cloud! Over the pacific ocean!"
"Is he saying HE summoned Dan here?" Phoenix asked.
"Hosh hosh hosh hosh!" Ponseidon laughed again. "Essh ara dosssss-shek. Eff erra haa, esshtiya. Osss."
Chrys shook her head. "No, he says... it was destiny. Or something else.
The form bowed again. "Eeengas. Essh-terra ondas Egasss errrrs. Oonterras eee shada!" He evaporated, like into steam but without heat. The creature, the Ponseidon, vanished as nothing more than a cool breeze passing between them.
"Until we meet again, friends of Equestria and Earth," Chrys said.
"So the sea ponies AND that guy were summoned here," Phoenix said. "And he's able to manipulate the water."
"And he controls Equestria's tides. On another Equestria," Twilight explained. "An Equestria where the moon doesn't control them as much."
"And being here disturbed his like, water-ness. So he made the sea ponies attack us," Dan said. And ponies nodded at him. "So the Rapture place, their home, isn't even here."
"It would appear not," Chrys said. As she did, the now normal-sized Fluffle Puff dazedly trotted over to them, bumping into Chrys in the process.
"Thppp thppp thpfffff thppp-thppp." I hate having ham hangovers. She had lost her own weight because thankfully, it had been mostly water.
"Huh," Dan said.
"Something wrong?" Twilight asked.
"No, actually," Dan said. Everyone turned to him at that remark. "I mean, for once, I was gone and you all were able to defend yourselves from a nearly unstoppable onslaught, you worked together as a team to execute a complicated plan and solved a problem threatening to destroy us all. That's everything I could've asked for! That's everything we planned for!"
"Eeyep," Chrys said, hugging him with one leg. "All thanks to your training."
"YES! YES!" Dan exclaimed. He grabbed Phoenix's face. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? THE DRILLS ARE WORKING!"
"Hooray..." (Hopefully that means less of them.)
"Can you believe it, Nicky? The town and everypony can actually take care of themselves for once!" Dan said, genuinely ecstatic. "We could actually go on vacation if we wanted!" At that announcement, Phoenix collapsed.
"It was a group effort," Captain America reminded them all. "All of us working together... and yes, Dan's style of strategy that has been relentlessly ingrained in all of us, helped us to overcome a desperate situation."
Trixie stepped up, beaming. "Trixie held off no less than a hundred of the afflicted ponies and griffons by herself. Even without the aid of her peanut butter and pickle sandwich. By the way, Dan?"
Dan handed her a brown bag. No, not that bag, a different one with a sandwich in it. "That came from a hospital. A really good hospital."
"Trixie appreciates you, Dan."
"It cost five bits."
"You can pay Trixie back later!"
"NO! You owe ME YOU... WEIRD-TASTE-IN-SANDWICHES SHOW MARE!" Dan yelled.
"Trixie cannot hear you!" she said, levitating the bag above the crowd. "Trixie requires mustard!"
"Euggguhh," Phoenix recoiled. "Who puts mustard on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
"It was peanut butter and pickle," Dan corrected.
"Give me the bag again."
The gang ate and partied. Despite still being marooned, they were in good spirits. And that was when Gust Grasp came back.
"Barbecue chicken!" Dan exclaimed, happy to see Gust. "Where have you been?"
"Dan, you're not gonna believe this. We found something. On the beach. Hurry- NOW!"
The pegasi and griffons led them back to the beach where indeed, they found something they found unbelievable. But it was also something that was not unfamiliar to them.
"ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! YES! YES! ALL OF MY YES!!"
"Technically, All of My Rage," Gust said. His ship, their ship, sat on the edge of the beach on a recently-constructed dock.
"Wow! It's our ship!" Twilight said. She flew up to get a better look at it, quickly followed by Chrys carrying Dan and other pegasi carrying everyone else. They landed them on the deck of the ship, pristine and in better condition than it was when first launched.
"I don't believe this. It's like it never sank," Chrys said, amazed as everyone else. "Ponseidon must've done this."
Gust shook his head. "I don't think so. This happened before you guys went into the castle."
"Before?" Twilight asked. "When everypony was still haywire?"
"Yeah. Someone else must've done this," Gust said.
"Someone else... but who?" Twilight asked. And that was when Dan drove out from below decks in his new tank. Or, newly-repaired and modified tank.
"LOOK AT THIS! HAHAHA! Tanky's backkkkkkkk!" He did several donuts on the hull.
"Don't worry, everyone," Phoenix said. "I made sure it's not loaded so it won't sink us again."
"NICKY! GET ME AMMO!"
"No."
Dan hopped off the tank. "Can you believe it Twilight? Everything's been fixed and it's even better! It's completely water-tight now! We could drive this tank on the ocean floor!"
"Ocean floor?" Twilight said. On the tank was a license plate at the bottom that read: SHOOBDOO. "Shoo-be-doo?"
"Shoo-be-do! Shoo-shoo-be-doo!"
Twilight looked over the side at the sound of singing... but there was only the rolling waves there. Her friends asked her what she was looking at, but she found she wasn't shore. Err, sure. Somewhere, across the endless oceans, she felt as though another legend had some truth to it. Somewhere, beyond the sea.
The group packed up the ship and took off for the sky yet again, headed back for Ponyville. As the Canterlantis Resort Island grew smaller in the distance, Dan pined over the possibility that he may visit again one day. And then he patted Blast Fuse on the shoulder and said, "Do it."
The two Blasties pressed the plungers on two detonators simultaneously and the island exploded.
"Yayyyyyy!" They high-fived.