A soft ding alerted Doctor Hooves that his first attempt at baking in a new oven was finished. If reading ponies was his first special talent then baking was a secret second, something he had not shared with his friends due to Jotting’s and Lethe’s penchant for mooching food. He carefully pulled the cookie try from the oven and frowned at the crispy looking chocolate treats. “Blasted oven burns hotter than my one back in Canterlot,” he said to himself. “Or maybe it heats faster. Oh well, guess I’ll make another batch.”
As the cookies cooled he went downstairs to set to unpacking a fifth box of medical texts and began placing the books by most to least used in bookshelf by his new oak desk. He looked around the space that would be the greeting room to his new office. Simple, clean and bright, it felt welcoming, unlike the one back at the Canterlot headquarters which was a nondescript room in a hall of nondescript rooms. Even if the new practice was more of a cover than a real business he promised he would never do anything less than his best.
His train of thought was interrupted by a series of knocks at the door. Upon answering it he was greeted by another series of knocks on his skull.
“Ow, watch it. I’m here. I’m here,” he shouted at his assailant.
“Oops sorry,” a bubbly voice apologized. “I was trying to remember the last time I delivered mail here.
Hooves stopped rubbing his head and looked up into a set walleyed gold eyes. They belonged to a grey pegasus with a blond mane. A thick mail bag was slung over her back and a peculiar bubble cutie mark graced her flank. “I was assured this dwelling was vacant for quite a while before it was purchased for me.”
“Yeah I was thinking it’s been a long, long time since this place has gotten a letter,” her giggle was as musical as her speech.
“So I’m getting letters already?”
The grey pegasus gasped and reached into her bag and pulled out an oversized pink envelope. “It’s a Pinkie Pie invitation,” she told him reading his puzzled look. “She sends out lots of em, but this one’s a bit different.”
Hooves opened the card inside the envelope, only to watch a stream of glitter fall to his clean floor. With a heavy sigh he read the multicolored, twisted letters in different fonts inviting him to a place called Sugercube Corner at eight that evening.
“He He, Pinkie always puts a lot of work into her invitations,” the mailmare said as she hovered over Hooves shoulder.
“So I see. Does she throw parties for all newcomers?”
“Yep. Pinkie’s always throwing parties for anything. I go as often as possible, but I don’t like leaving Dinky home alone.”
“Dinky?” the picture of a cat or a bird came to the forefront of his mind.
“Oh, Dinky’s my daughter, she’s barely out of foalhood so I can’t leave her alone too often.”
“I can’t see you as a mother,” Hooves said offhand. The mailmare gave an indignant gasp and her gaze hardened to near hatred. “Wait, wait, I said that wrong. What I meant was –“she didn’t let him finish as she zipped into the sky and hover the horizon. “Great job Hooves, here for ten seconds and I’ve already made someone hate me.”
He shut the door and went back to his unpacking. “How is it Lethe and Jotting can assimilate into any situation despite their different personalities, but I can’t talk to a single pony outside a psychologist couch without eliciting a negative reaction,” said to himself as he fell back onto a habit he had picked up from his father, talking his problems out loud using himself as a foil for a conversation.
“I mean they’re not even trained to figure out thing inner working of ponies, I have a bloody diploma for it. Lethe has no filter between his brain and mouth and Jotting avoids crowds like a plague.”
“It’s because both of them leave their comfort zones,” his rational voice said back. “During my missions I only observed never interacted. I’m more at ease telling people what their problems are without minding what they think.”
His emotional side sighed. “That doesn’t explain my rudeness, not that what I said was that rude. She overreacted, mares tend to do that.”
“You realize how foolish that sounds, right. Now you’re deflecting responsibility Hooves. Anypony would be angry if you told them they weren’t parent material.”
“That’s not what I said,” Hoove’s shouted at his rational thought.
“No, but that’s how anypony who doesn’t know you would take it. And now the pretty mailmare, whose name you don’t know, is flying around town, tears in her eyes telling anypony who will listen how mean and nasty the new psychologist is.”
Hooves sat in silence for a second pondering what his unfiltered rational had revealed. One he was worried some about his image in this new town. Two he felt bad about hurting the mare’s feelings, even if inadvertently. Three somewhere in his subconscious he thought she was pretty. Quickly shelving the book in his hooves he rushed into the kitchen and slid the now cooled cookies into a bag and rushed out the door.
Bag of cookies in mouth, the Doctor ran down the streets of Ponyville looking for any signs of the gray pegasus. She was nowhere to be found in the market place or at the apartment buildings near the town’s center, his frantic search and darting eyes caught the attention of one of the market ponies who whistled to get his attention.
“Ya’all look like ya lost yer favorite pet or something mister. What’s the problem?” the orange earth pony with the apple stall asked.
“It’s Doctor, and I’m looking for the mailmare, the grey one with the bubble cutie mark. I’m afraid she took something I said out of context and flew off before I could apologize.”
The country pony took a few seconds to register both his Trottingham accent and his speech mannerisms before answering. “Oh you mean Ditzy, I saw her flyin’ toward my farm not that long ago. Ya might be able ta catch her on her way back inta town.”
“And which way would your farm be located Miss…?”
“Applejack. Sweet Apple Acres is south of town. Just follow that road and yer headin’ the right direction.”
“Much obliged Miss Applejack,” Hooves said and took off south in a quick trot leaving the farm pony smiling at her good deed.
True to the farm pony’s word the Doctor saw a familiar grey shape heading his way nearly as soon as he left the town proper. On closer inspection her eyes were slightly read and her cheeks flushed. She was flying quite close to the ground, her mismatched eyes never leaving the dirt road.
“Excuse me Miss Ditzy?” the Doctor asked softly so as not to startle her. She paid him no heed as she simply flew closer and closer never looking up. “Ditzy?” Hooves questioned again, a bit louder this time. Still no answer. She was now right in front of him and closing in Hooves tried to take a few steps back but a stray divot in the road caused him to tumble backwards. He institutionally reached out a hoof and grabbed the mailmare's mailbag pulling it and her on top of him and into a very accidental kiss.
As their lips met the strap of Ditzy’s mailbag wrapped around them both, binding their bodies together. Hooves’s mind was blank. He felt the mare’s soft lips on his and her light pegasus body smashed against his own. In the microsecond their lips were connected he felt everything was right in the world, but the reality of the situation came to Ditzy much faster than him.
The grey pegasus wiggled uncomfortably off of him grinding her frame over his stomach all the while apologizing profusely.
“Sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I should have been flying higher or watching where I was going or… Oh it’s you.”
Hooves stood and brushed the dirt off his back. “Yes it’s me. No harm no foul as my friend would say. Now then I—“ he started to apologize but she had already moved a distance down the path. Scooping up his fallen treats Hooves followed the fuming mare.
“I wanted to apologize,” he said once he caught up with her. Ditzy said nothing and continued hovering toward town, so the Doctor continued. “For both the incident back there and what I said at my office. I really, truly didn’t mean for it to come out like that what I meant was—“
“That a retard like me shouldn’t have children. That somepony like me doesn’t look like she can take care of herself much less a little filly,” venom spewed from the mailmare lips.
“No.” the Doctor said choosing his words carefully. “I meant that you look quite young to be a mother. I’m sure you take great care of… Dinky was it? Anyway I didn’t mean to insinuate I thought ill of you. I even have cookies as an
apology. Baked them myself, still getting used to the new oven though.”
For the first time since running into him Dinky looked the Doctor in the eyes. “You… you… didn’t mean it like that?” she asked waiting for the Doctor’s nod, once he gave an affirmative she stared down at the ground again this time in both shame and embarrassment. “I’m sorry too then. For flying off like that.”
Hooves waved a dismissive hoof. “No, no. There’s no need for you to be sorry for anything. I was the one who misspoke and you were rightfully angry at what I said. Let’s start over. I’m Doctor Hooves, Ponyville’s new psychologist.” He held out his hoof to shake.
“Ditzy Doo,” the mailmare said back as she took his hoof and gave it a friendly shake. “So what’s a psychologist do?”
she asked as she took a bite into a cookie. The Doctor cringed as it crunched, but Ditzy smiled. “Yum, I love crispy cookies. Just the opposite for muffins though.”
“Well thank you. Anyway a psychologist is a medical professional who tries to help a pony with any mental problems they might have. Depression, anger, strange feelings, that kind of thing. We try to find the root of said problems and help a patient through the.”
Ditzy giggled. “So that’s what Pinky meant by you being a brain doctor. I though it meant you cut into pony’s skulls or something.”
“Oh Celestia no. It’s my friend Lethe who’s the surgeon not me. Can’t stand the sight of blood truth be told.”
“Well that doesn’t sound much like a doctor then,” she pointed out.
“Well I did have to go through that kind of medical training for school, but I haven’t so much given out a Band-Aid since I received my degree.”
“Well, if you help ponies and you like doing it that’s all that really matters?”
They had entered the town and Ditzy headed toward a nearly fixture of apartment mail boxes. As she put the letters into their respective slots the Doctor admired how quickly and skillfully she worked.
“Do you mind if I ask something?” he ventured carefully.
“It’s about my eyes isn’t it?” she had caught him staring while she filtered the mail.
“If it’s a touchy subject…”
“My mother blamed me for my dad leaving, and used to abuse me. One night she hit me so hard I fell out of our cloud house and into a pond below it. I got lucky and was fished out by a earth pony but I hit my head when I hit the bottom of the water. The doctors said it was some nerve damage and was too dangerous and expensive to reverse. It doesn’t really affect my vision, but I’ve been made fun of for it my whole life,” the story was practiced and not without a hint on agitation.
“I’m terribly sorry I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Nah, I knew you’d ask, being a doctor and all. This gets it out of the way early.”
“Well since I’ve gone and asked something uncomfortable it’s your turn. Ask me anything.”
Ditzy was taken aback. No pony had ever kept a conversation going after hearing her life story. She gave the tan earth pony in front of her a once over. His smile was genuine and his eye’s sincere. He was enjoying speaking to her. “Why are you still talking to me?” she accidentally said aloud.
“Well you enjoyed my cookies and you forgave me for being extremely rude earlier. Not many ponies have done that, I’m infamous for having Hoof-in-Mouth syndrome back in Canterlot and its cost me more than a few friendships.”
“Oh,” she looked down embarrassed for the praise.
The clock tower bells rang seven times starting Hooves at the lateness of the day. “Sorry Ditzy I’m afraid I agreed to meant my friends for dinner at the café. Will I see you at the party tonight?”
“Um… Yeah I guess. I can bring Dinky to the start of it and send he home with my neighbor later,” he cheeks were flushed for some reason.
Hooves didn’t notice. “Excellent. I’m sure my friends would like to meet you and I’d like to speak with you more at length. Not as a Doctor mind you, as a friend. Unless you want to talk to me as a Doctor then I’m available.”
Dinky laughed at his rambling. “No that’s fine. I’ll come by your office when you’re open if I need brain help. See you tonight then?”
The Doctor nodded and watched the mailmare fly out of sight and stared at the sky for a minute more before rushing toward the café.