//------------------------------// // Prompt #47: Read All About It! // Story: Twinkle/TOCP's Thirty Minute Ponies Stories // by Twinkletail //------------------------------// The Prompt: Write a Gabby Gums article EXTRA! EXTRA! Berry Punch: What's She Hiding? Our Inside Reporters Have The Scoop! By Gabby Gums Most ponies in Ponyville know Berry Punch as the happy-go-lucky owner of the Berry Good Produce and Punch Pavilion. The pony who always has a smile for every one of her customers and whose sense of humor brings joy to her patrons, and who serves the finest of fruits and punch to anypony who wants them. What the citizens of Ponyville might not know, however, is the secret second life of the cheerful shop owner. Gabby Gums has the exclusive scoop, so read on, faithful fans! Our roving reporters have eyes all over Ponyville, and they were able to catch a glimpse of Miss Punch's everyday life. What we saw was far more interesting than we could ever have expected. Before Berry Punch opens her doors for business every day, she makes herself breakfast. What's that you say? That's not interesting? It might interest you, loyal readers, to find out that Miss Punch likes to accompany her most important meal of the day with a nice, big mare-tini. That's right. An alcoholic beverage in the early morning. But it doesn't stop there! Our photographer caught exclusive photos of Miss Punch preparing her titular punch for the day. The ponies of Ponyville love Berry's punch, that's for sure, but what they might not know is the deep, dark secret behind that second bowl of punch that she keeps on display, but doesn't let her patrons sample. She would lead you to believe that this punch bowl is too warm to drink, or not quite fresh but just out for display. All stories meant to throw ponies off the track of her deep, dark secret. Our photographer, in a Foal Free Press exclusive, snapped a picture of Miss Punch pouring alcohol into this second bowl! We kept our eye on Miss Punch throughout the day from a hidden location, and what he saw shocked him. Throughout the day, when no customers were around, Miss Punch would drink from this liquor-infused beverage. Perhaps this is the secret to her happy-go-lucky behavior? Surely the effects of alcohol could be conducive to a pony exhibiting behavior as outgoing as Miss Punch's. But it doesn't end there, faithful fans. Miss Punch's drunken escapades are only beginning to bud at this point in the day. What happens behind closed doors after her shop shuts down for the day is ten times worse than anything we've previously reported on. A friend of the paper, who wishes to remain anonymous, has informed us that Miss Punch enjoys drinking what she calls her "happy juice" not only with dinner, but all the way until she goes to sleep for the evening. Our anonymous correspondent stated that Miss Punch "would play games with her family in which the penalty was taking a drink. She would then proceed to purposely lose until she had finished all the 'happy juice' she'd set out for herself for the evening." Shocking! We here at the Foal Free Press like to try and stay as impartial as we can in our articles, because as a fine, upstanding newspaper, we report only the most important news with absolutely no bias whatsoever. In my humble opinion, ponies are allowed to enjoy their lives in any way they wish, as long as it isn't causing harm to others. However, in what again is my opinion, (ed. note: Gabby Gums' opinions are strictly the opinions of Gabby Gums and do not reflect those of the Foal Free Press as a whole) this type of behavior might not be the best to exhibit around impressionable young fillies, and should not be the kind of thing that is done while running a business. While it apparently does serve to bolster Miss Punch's happiness and charisma in dealing with her customers, it might be best to lay off of the mare-tinis before and during work. Even though her produce and her punch are still delicious regardless of her state of inebriation, it might be a wise practice to lay off the sauce. Signing off, Gabby Gums ------ Berry Punch sat in her chair, reading the latest edition of the Foal Free Press. Her expression changed throughout her reading of the article. It started off with a content smile at the positive review of her demeanor and her goods. The smile eventually turned into a small, bemused grin, and degenerated over time into a frown. By the time she was finished with the article, her mouth had twisted into a grimace. She looked around to make sure Pinchy wasn't around; she knew that she wouldn't take well to what she was about to do. Once she was satisfied that her daughter was not watching, she hurled the paper to the ground. "Unbelievable!" Berry shouted. "How could they say these kinds of things about me?!" Berry stomped back and forth, trying to release her frustration. The door to the living room opened, and Colgate poked her head out to see what the fuss was all about. "Berry, darling?" Colgate said, trotting into the room. "What's the matter?" Berry picked the paper up and showed it to Colgate, frowning. "THIS!" Berry cried, pointing to the article. "It's full of lies! Horrible, terrible lies!" Colgate took the paper and began to read. She raised a brow as she neared the end, then looked up to Berry. "Um, Berry?" Colgate said, trying her best to say this nicely. "You...do kinda drink a lot." "But I would NEVER drink mare-tinis!" Berry shouted. "I drink vodka!" Berry grabbed the bottle of Stalli from the endtable and took a swig. "Those three lying little fillies are gonna get a very angry letter from me!" Berry stomped into her study to begin writing, as Colgate sighed.