//------------------------------// // Well I am Stuck With Her Now // Story: The Fugitive Draconequus // by Ironskull //------------------------------// "What are you doing?" asked Twilight of Rarity in shock. "What happened to your cutie mark?" For indeed, upon Rarity's flank was not her own gemstone motif, but Rainbow Dash's lightning bolt. "What ever do you mean, darling?" asked Rarity in confusion. "I'm simply doing what I've done since the day it first appeared." Twilight stared in disbelief as Rarity continued using her magic to move storming clouds across the sky into a checkerboard pattern. "But didn't that particular mark just appear today?" asked Twilight. "Well, yes, but what I said is still true!" "But your statement implied that you have a history of doing this sort of thing. You don't! If you had woken up today with that exact same mark and then decided to dress up as a clown, then by this time today, you would still be doing the exact same thing that you've always done since the day your mark appeared. Even with a different mark, the way that you choose to spend your time is your own!" "Ah... I suppose I see your point, but to be frank, clowns are not fabulous. Funny, yes, but not fabulous." "Well, to be perfectly honest, this isn't fabulous either!" "Too last season?" asked Rarity helplessly. "Where is Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight. "Why isn't she stopping this?" "I expect that she is at her cottage, taking care of the animals, as usual," answered Rarity. "What?" cried Twilight in alarm. "What do you mean as usual? And how do you even know that?" "What do you mean?" asked Rarity. "Have you ever actually seen Rainbow Dash living in the cottage or trying to take care of animals?" "Well of course," answered Rarity as though it was obvious. "I've seen her at the cottage several times, and she is very loving of Tank." "Argh! I don't know what's going on here, but I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I'll be back later, Rarity. Um, by the way, I'm pretty sure that there isn't any rain scheduled for today." "Well, that's disappointing. I suppose I had better figure out what to do with these things." Rainbow Dash was indeed living in Fluttershy's Cottage, and not having an easy time trying to do Fluttershy's job. Twilight barraged her with several questions, and in answer, Rainbow Dash had broken into a song. After it was over, Twilight only had one thing to say. "Wait, why is Gummy here?" Rainbow Dash paused to consider. "I dunno. Pinkie Pie dropped him off in a hurry, said that she had to get back to farm work." "Oh, great! Pinkie too? But that still doesn't explain why Gummy is here, she should have taken him with her! And where is Fluttershy?!" Twilight walked past a crowd of ponies watching Fluttershy's meager attempt at entertainment in bemusement and approached the counter, where Mr. Cake was standing. "Does Fluttershy even actually work here?" "No, but that doesn't mean that she's forbidden from doing what she is doing. Even if she's... not going over too well." "Fair enough. Where is Pinkie Pie?" Twilight stared in bemusement as Pinkie Pie attempted and failed to buck an apple tree. "What is going on here? I've seen you do this before." "No need to remind me!" grumbled Pinkie Pie in frustration. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to sound that way. It's just that I know that you are capable of doing this, at least, so something has definitely gone horribly wrong!" "Something has gone horribly wrong alright!" cried Pinkie Pie. "I woke up this morning and everything started to fall appart!" Twilight looked around at the decrepit farm around her. "Pun not intended!" groaned Pinkie. "I know. That's the problem." Twilight wordlessly walked away and walked up to the farmhouse and knocked. A moment later, Applebloom opened the door and looked up at her. "Are you aware that Pinkie is trying to do Applejack's job?" "Yeah, ah know. We can't make her go away." "Why aren't the rest of you out working too?" "Everypony else is. Just not near her." "But shouldn't somepony keep an eye on her?" "Well, she doesn't seem to actually be hurting anything..." "Well, where is Applejack?" "She went to Rarity's boutique. I think she and Pinkie both caught a sudden case of the crazy." "Ugh..." Twilight looked at the mess of what Applejack called 'dresses'. "Granny Smith does all the knitting and sewing in your family, doesn't she." "Yup." Twilight flung the door to the library in and hurried inside. "This is bad!" she cried. "This is very, very bad!" "What's going on?" cried Spike, following after her. "Why is this happening?!" "Yes, I should very much like to know what the fuss is as well!" Suddenly the bust on top of the lectern in the center of the library morphed shape and transformed into Discord. "Well, you picked a convenient time to show up," says Twilight in frustration. "Where were you before now?" "I was asleep," I answer her. "But I woke up because the magical trace that I put on you told me that you are under a great deal more stress than usual, and when I checked, Ponyville was indeed in a state of... much chaos." "Were you responsible for this?" cries Twilight. "I never said that. I had nothing to do with it. Whatever it is." "Sorry, I'm just under a lot of stress right now and... Wait, you put a trace on me?" "A non-intrusive one, I assure you. After all, now that we're dating and all, and considering how often you throw yourself into dangerous situations, I thought it would be a good idea for me to be able to locate you quickly, in case of emergency. I'll show you how to block it without actually severing it later, in case you want to throw me a surprise party or something." "Uh, well, okay. I mean, it isn't as though you couldn't burst in on my privacy at any time you wish anyway." "Exactly." "Discord, please stop being so happy when I'm so upset." "It simply can't be helped, Twilight. Despite the fact that I am reformed now, I am still the same Draconequus I was before, and I have always felt livened up in the presence of chaos, and yes, even strife, in all of their forms, even the ones that are not so conducive to friendship. Now, what's got you in such a tizzy, my dear?" Twilight let out a sigh. "It all started last night. I got a special delivery from the Princess." One brief explanation later: "So..." I begin. "Let me get this straight. Starswirl was trying to perfect a masterpiece of a spell, but he didn't finish it, and Celly asked you to finish it." "Right." "But it turns out that his version of the spell messed up the elements of harmony?" Twilight hesitated. "That appears to be the case. Starswirl was a genius, but as I said, even he never got it right." "And apparently, changing the elements of harmony scrambled your friends cutie marks." "I should have never cast that spell..." "You would think that the element of harmony couldn't be changed just like that," I muse. "Shouldn't they be able to defend themselves from that sort of thing?" "They should," Twilight agreed. "But this is strange and powerful magic created by the greatest wizard in history." "And his spell made the already flawed elements of harmony even worse," I point out. "Wh- what?" says Twilight weakly. "Flawed?" "Keep an open mind here," I say. I snap and a figurine of myself trapped in stone alongside Nightmare Moon standing on a disproportionately small moon appeared on the lectern (which I still haven't climbed out of). Now, is it true that the elements of harmony were responsible for these two things?" "Well, yes, obviously." "Was it the right thing to do?" Twilight seemed to start to speak, but then stopped and just gave me an incredulous look. "Something had to be done, in both scenarios!" she argues. "Yes, I agree. That is not the issue. The issue is that the elements banished Luna for a thousand years. If that banishment was intended to rehabilitate her, it sorely failed. If that banishment was meant to punish her, then it is no surprised that she was super peeved and looking for revenge by the time she got back. If it was meant to be a period of time in which to neutralize her until suitable ponies stepped forward to embody the elements of harmony, then why in the hay did it take a whole thousand years? Was there seriously nopony before you that could have also filled in those horseshoes? So, perhaps a few years of imprisonment might have been a good thing. But no matter how you look at it, a whole thousand years is outrageous. "And this one..." I say, tapping on the figure of my stone self. "Well, Celestia and you both decided that the right thing to do was to let me out, which was also against what the elements intended. "Now, is harmony itself flawed? No, it is not. But those elements are. And now, they've been messed up even more." "Discord, stop trying to confuse her!" cries Spike in frustration. "Spike, he's right," says Twilight, turning to him. "He is?" "I'm afraid so." "So does he know how to fix this?" Spike cries out. "Do you?" "Not in a way that would satisfy you," I answer. "I could work my magic to alter their minds, but they still wouldn't be the same. "Not to mention," Twilight interjects, "a friendship that you force isn't really a friendship at all." "Right. And I can't turn the elements back to the way that they were before either. They don't respond to my magic. Although, apparently, they respond to Twilight's." "They respond to Starswirl's spell" says Twilight, "not me." "And the fact that you are the embodiment of the element of magic has nothing to do with it, I'm sure," I say sarcastically. Twilight looks at me in surprise. "I didn't think of that." "You should consider yourself lucky that you didn't swap your own cutie mark onto somepony else too," I say. "I know." "So why don't you just use that spell to fix their memories just like when Discord here changed them?" asks Spike. "It's not their memories, Spike," says Twilight in despair. "It's their true selves that have been altered!" "Zecora's cure for the cutie pox?" says Spike. "That won't work either!" Twilight begins walking away with her head hung low. "Well, maybe it won't be so bad," says Spike. "Maybe our friends will grow to like their new lives." "No, Spike. They are not who they were meant to be anymore. Their destinies are now changed. And it's all my fault! she finishes helplessly. Spike looks at me and makes a gesture at me that says 'Help me out here!' "Um..." Twilight hears and looks back at me. "You know, I like your version of harmony a lot better than the one enforced by the elements of 'so-called' harmony anyway. It's just better." "Thank you, Discord. But this problem still remains, and even if I am actually better than the elements are, I don't know what to do about all of this." She then continued on and disappeared to the upper floor. Spike chases after her after a moment, leaving me alone. I have to figure out some way to cheer her up. Maybe flowers? Mares like flowers, right? Should I grab some from my dimension, or are they too weird? I must have gotten lost in contemplation, because suddenly, Twilight comes trotting down the stairs again with the box that sometimes but not currently holds the elements of harmony in her magical grasp, and looking quite chipper. "I may not be able to remind them of who they are," she says, "but I can show them what they mean to each other!" She approaches the display with the elements inside and lifts the glass and put the elements into her box. "They'll find the part of themselves that's been lost so they can help the friend they care about so much!" She gives the box to Spike, who eagerly accepts it. "What are you going on about, Twi?" I ask in confusion. "I'll explain later!" she answers, and she runs out the door. "What did you do?" I ask Spike. "I just told her that she would figure out how to fix this because these are her friends." He runs off after her too. "Hmm..." I muse out loud. "Should I follow her too...? Nah, I'll probably just say something stupid and screw everything up." A while later, Twilight, wearing the element of magic on her head, bursts through the door and then comes to a stop as she gazes around at the library in surprise. I snap my claws and turn the room right-side up and return the animated books to their normal state and positions. Twilight gives me a look. "I thought it was best to let you do your thing, but I don't want to go back home until I am sure that you're alright, so I just made myself comfortable for a bit. Everything is back to normal now though, see?" "Yes, thank you Discord," she says as she walks into the library, her friends all behind her, each with their own cutie marks, and each wearing their respective elements of harmony, now colored correctly-. "Ah, I see that you fixed whatever happened," I say. "And it looks like the elements are back to normal too." "Actually, they are not, not quite yet," says Twilight. "I still have to fix them. The task of repairing them falls to me. But I realized that you were right, Discord. As incredible as they are, the elements of harmony are... well, the elements of harmony. They are not the elements of friendship, and, it appears that friendship is not a priority to the elements. Their biggest priority is ensuring harmony, and achieving it by doing the things which you so disapprove of is apparently acceptable to them. Princess Celestia has always been the one to advocate of the power of friendship to me, not the elements. In the past, we always just pointed them at the villain and let them work their magic, but not this time. Not when I have a better way. I can make them do what I want them to do. I can control them!" "Whoa now, Twilight!" I cry in sudden alarm. "That sounds nice and all, but are you sure you know what you are doing? Trying to change, oh, just the elements of harmony like that? What if they get mad at you?" "I already changed them, admittedly, not in a good way, and they don't seem to be mad. But this time I know what was missing from Starswirl's spell!" "What's that?" I ask in bewilderment. "Friendship." "Ah, of course." "And, since I have to repair the elements anyway... I sort of have to change them to fit my vision. It is the only way I can think of that will fix them." "I don't suppose just leaving them the way that they are now is an option, is it?" "Trust me, this is for the best." Twilight picks Starswirl's journal off of the lectern and holds up a quill and begins writing. "From all of us together, together we are friends. With the marks of our destinies there is magic without end!" There is a crack of magic power as Twilight finishes her revised version of the spell and the element of magic pulses. The other elements suddenly start shooting beams of magic into Twilight, who is suddenly surrounded by so much energy that she is engulfed by a sphere of magic. I snap and materialize a pair of sunglasses onto my face. "Come on, even I'm not that showy! Did you really have to stand two feet in front of my nose?" The magic comes to an end, revealing a most unexpected sight. Where Twilight previously stood is nothing but a burnt and smoking floor. The others all let out screams of horror. "Where did she go?" cries Applejack. "Worry not, I just so happened to have placed a trace on dear Twilight that should allow me to locate her so long as she is somewhere in this dimension!" I snap to get the spell to pulse Twilight's location. And get zilch back. "Oh. I guess she must not be in this dimension. The spell worked earlier after all, so I know it isn't my fault that I can't find her." "Even you can't find her?" cries Rainbow Dash. "I know somepony who might," I say. "And she's the one who gave Twi that book in the first place. I'm going to go give her a piece of my mind!" *SNAP* My sudden appearance causes even the princess of the night to startle a bit. "Discord! What is the meaning of this intrusion!" "Where's Celestia?" I ask in frustration. "I had meant to teleport directly to her location, but instead, I get you. Why?" "Celestia is unavailable." "What?" "I don't know where she went, Discord! She approached me with much speed and hastily told me to take care of anything that comes up until she returns, and then she vanished." I reach out with my magic sense and find no trace of Celestia. "Argh! Are you serious Celestia!" Suddenly, I finally get a pulse back from Twilight, but her magical signature is severely warped. Without another word, I snap again and vanish. I find myself reappearing right outside of Twilight's library, and her friends are already outside of it, doubtlessly looking for their missing friend. They are shielding their eyes from a bright light in the sky. I turn and look up at it and see, little to my surprise, Twilight's cutie mark floating down to the ground. When it lands, it fades out, leaving Twilight herself behind. I immediately see that something is changed. My body goes stiff as a board and I fall forward into the ground. I hit it with a splash and disappear under it. Well, Twilight's an alicorn. It's not fake either, the magic she's emitting now confirms that. I am now officially stuck with this book worm for the rest of eternity. Suddenly, a voice from above stands out to me. "That's because she is a princess." I twist my body into a spinning tornado and drill through the ground back up to the surface. I emerge in front of Princess Celestia, who looks at me in shock. "You're the one responsible for this!" I cry out, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "I beg your pardon?" she answers neutrally. "You turned Twilight into an alicorn!" "Twilight turned herself into an alicorn because she did something that nopony has ever done before. She created new magic." "Okay, sure, I guess, but you're the one who gave her that journal!" "I am, but I was not certain that this outcome would indeed come to pass. I did hope, but I was not certain. As I said, nothing like this has ever happened before. "Okay, but the point is, you've only been aware of my relationship with Twilight for a couple of days now and already you went and turned her into an unaging alicorn so that I will never be apart from her!" Celestia looked taken aback. "That was not my intention, I assure you. I have been waiting to give her that journal for a very long time now. The timing is entirely coincidental, I assure you. Besides, just because she-" "Whatever, it doesn't matter," I answer back. "She's an alicorn now and it's still your doing, directly or no. You just made my marefriend even more amazing than she was before. So, I just wanted to let you know that I now no longer hold anything against you. You're alright in my book, Celestia." I transform myself into a giant floating book with eyes and open up to a page with Celestia's name on it, and then make a checkmark appear beside it. Celestia doesn't say anything as I transform back. "Twilight," I say, "If you ever need someone to practice your far-more-powerful-than-you-are-used-to magic with, you have but to ask and I shall eagerly provide you assistance. But for now, I think Celly wants to pry you away from me for princess stuff. Have fun!" I snap and disappear. But I'll be back soon enough.