//------------------------------//
// Button Mash Pt1 
// Story: The Narrator Hates Us All 
// by TRIBOT 4000 
//------------------------------//



The time of this story occurs about a year before Twilight has arrived in Ponyville.
Also, listen to this while reading: 



Ponyville was a town, a somewhat peaceful town to.  Not much happened there, at least not on the surface.  In Ponyville, in a small house lived a colt named Button Mash.  Button Mash had a brown coat, and an even darker brown mane.  On his head he wore a colorful beanie with a propeller on top.  In his hooves he held a device with nobs, buttons, and levers on it, which he twisted and turned in every way possible.  To him this device, known as a controller, was used to vanquish demons, to free enslaved creatures, and save beautiful damsels, when in reality, it was just a piece of plastic that connect to what was called a game console.  This game console was the door for Button's wonderous adventures.  Sometimes he was a Nordic warrior slaying Stormcloaks with his Ebony Battleax, other times he was a hedgehog, running faster than light.  No matter what and no matter where, this game console could grant him his greatest wishes.

There was one problem with the game console: it was addicting.  It kept him from going outside, making new friends, or even living in the real world.  It was not only a door, it was also a cage.  This suddenly occurred to him as sniped a he terrorist.  He needed to exist in the real world, rather than the artificial one.  This game console was fun but it wasn't everything.  Oh no, no, no, of course it wasn't everything he realized.  He saw that he needed to escape this different form of imprisonment.

Button Mash turned off the console and laid the controller on the ground.  He stood up and looked at the door to his room.  He took the first step forward.  Very good Button.  Now the next hoof.  Ah, excellent.  The third hoof.  Yes, yes!  That's what I call initiative Button!  Keep going!  Only four more steps and you'll be free!  Three steps left!  Come on!  Two more!  Yes, yes, yes!  One last step Button, I believe in you!  Yes!  You did it!  Whew, that was exhilarating.  I truly feel like we've accomplished something here.  Don't you Button?

After exiting his room Button made his way downstairs where his mother was sleeping on the couch in their living room.  Buttons mother was the greatest mother he could ever hope for.  She cooked for him and fed him.  She read him stories in bed.  She cleaned the house and sometimes when Buttons dad was at work would clean his room.  Yes, she truly was the ideal mother.

He passed her quietly and left the house.  The sun hit his eyes, blinding him temporarily.  When he adjusted to the blinding light, Button Mash could see the world outside his home.  The sky was a perfect blue, and the grass was a lushes green.  As Button moved forward he could see the birds flying above him, singing their beautiful song.  A nearby dog was playing with it's master.  Oh, how he'd longed to feel so content, the wonderous sights before him were incredible.

Something then caught his eye.  Over in the distance were two fillies from school.  They seemed to be circling another filly, a purplish coated one with a yellow mane, also from school.  Then it hit him, they were circling prey.  Of course!  He'd seen plenty of times on Tokyo JungleTM.  The only way to save her was to distract the beasts.  He sneaked behind bushes, a wagon, and an old donkey before he got to them.  He hid right around the corner of a house they were behind and listened.

They were making fun of her sister, the male mare, Derpy Hooves!  The horrible creatures.  Button had to save the filly from such ridicule, but how to distract the beasts?  Ah yes, just like in The Evil WithinTM he would throw something to make them look and investigate.  he looked around and found a puddle of mud.  That should do.  Picking up a big clump in hooves he threw it as hard as he could over their heads.

If it had been an average stallion, then he would have cleared their heads easily, possibly even going to far, but Button was only a little colt, who hardly exercised at all, so his shot didn't quite go as far as he wanted it to and instead it hit Dinky in the face, knocking her over do to its size and her small frame.

'Oops' he said to himself.  Without thinking he jumped out and tries to apologies, explaining that he meant to distract the two tigers, forgetting that calling any female a tiger that isn't an actual tiger, may lead to bodily harm.  He knew he was in danger of being pulled into this as a victim, but he had to do something.  He couldn't let the filly, who he had just abused, continue to get a beat down from these monsters.

Button marched up and helped the now muddy filly onto her hooves.  She was still in a daze and simply looked around confused as he cleaned the mud off her face like his mother would do.  The two mean fillies continue calling mean names and even roped Button into their jokes  Luckily, their jests helped him learn that the fillies name was Dinky, Dinky Hooves.

'Look at the two blank flanks' they sneered.  Their sneers were like rusted cogs scraping against each other.

'Yeah, just a couple of foals who don't fit in' they jested.  Oh, how cruel!  Speaking them that way, as if they were nothing!

'Nay' Button said to himself, like a knight in shining armor he would resist and defend this poor filly.  But how?  Obviously he would have to work this as meticulously as Detroit: Become HumanTM.  Yelling back would do nothing, those kinds of attacks were probably useless.  Insults would result the same way.  Wait, maybe...just maybe...yes, he had a plan.  Time to put it to action.

'Is that the best you got?' Button asked chuckling.  'We already know we're blank flanks so you're pretty much stating the obvious.  Can you even come up with a good insult?'  Ah, yes Button.  They looked confused.  They weren't expecting you to let the insults bounce off so easily.  Button must be careful though.  They will obviously step up their game.

'Oh yeah?  Well, maybe we thought you were too stupid to tell, so we wanted to tell you that you were blank flanks...uh... for you...yeah.'  Hahaha.  We've got them on the run now Button!  They can't even muster up enough insult knowledge to put you down.  Keep it up Button and don't falter.

'Stupid?  That's like the oldest insult in the book!  If you're going to be mean, then be mean the right way.'  Haha!  There is no way they can back from that Button.  You've done a superb job.

'Ooh.  I get it.  You're just trying to impress your fillyfriend Dinky.'  The two fiends had resorted to extreme measures.  Can Button take the pressure?  Can he slip through the net?  Can he dodge the strike?  Can he jump over the blades?  Can he keep from choking?  Can he restrain from making a mistake?  Can he withhold his composure?  Can he stand the humiliation?  Can he ignore the pain?  Can he avoid the trap?

'Am not!'

No, he can't.

With a simple twist, the two bullies had him right where they wanted him.  There was no escaping his fate at this point.  They began chanting songs about him and Dinky being in a tree and kissing.  They made numerous jokes about how stupid the foals would be and how ashamed those foals would be to have blank flanks as parents.  Button looked over at Dinky who was tearing up again and thought for a moment.  Dinky didn't look all that bad, in fact she was actually quite pretty nice looking.  If he was with her in anyway, even just friendship, he wouldn't mind.  It would be an extra friend no matter what.  Button knew what to do.

'Well maybe I would like Dinky to be my fillyfriend.  I don't see either of you with special someponies.  Dinky is nice, and I don't care about how her sister looks.  Dinky would be an awesome friend.  Let's go Dinky.  That way to the two ponies without special someponies can be by themselves, like usual.'  and they did just that.  Grabbing Dinky's hoof the two of them left the scene leaving the two tamed beasts in shock.  Oh Button you brilliant colt.  Not only have you saved a distressed filly, you have brought honor back to your family.

Once the two were long gone from the mean fillies they found a bench and sat down.  It was now or never for Button.  He had to find out whether or not he had gained a new friend.  Would Dinky be friends with him for doing that or would she run away as soon as she found out how different he was.

'Thank you.'  Dinky had thanked him.  She had initiated the sequence of sentence distribution.  Don't blow it now Button.

'No problem.  I do stuff like this all the time...in my head...' Oh Button.  You will always be our innocent little colt won't you?

'No really, if you hadn't come when you did they would still have been making fun of my sister.'  Ah, she is a nice filly.  That will help you Button.  You need to capitalize on that.  But before the conversation goes any further, apologies.

'Oh, then, you're welcome.  And I'm sorry for the mud.  That was meant to go over your heads to distract.'  Not bad Button.

'It's fine.  I actually don't mind the mud.'

The two continued to speak back and forth as the conversation became more natural, eventually evolving into one about lives and family members.  Button told of his mother and Dinky told of her sister.  Things were far from awkward and the two had a very lovely evening despite previous events.  Button was happy to find out that Dinky very much enjoyed video games and played them herself.

Soon, before either of them knew it, the sun began to sink down and the street became less lively.  Button noticed this and got off the bench before helping Dinky down.  He kept his hooves on her sides for a short moment longer as they locked eyes.  He back away and broke the gaze.

'Well it was nice talking with you.' Button said to Dinky.

'Nice talking to you too.' Dinky replied smiling.

'Would you like me to walk you home?' Button asked, receiving a blushing yes. He held out his hoof and Dinky took it.  The two walked one way down the street for  a while until Dinky pointed out that she lived in the other direction.

What will happen to Dinky?  Will Button discover feelings he hadn't realized he had?  Will Buttons mother be accepting if he does?  Tune in next time on...
The Narrator Hates Us All