AND NOW EVRYTHING THAT PREVIOUSLY HAPPENED IN BAMBOOZLED AGAIN IN A NUTSHELL BECAUSE WHY NOT
"Oh a cube. Ima shoot it"
"Oh a green portal thing. Ima jump in"
"LETS KILL SHIT!"
"FUCK YEAH!"
...
"I got you now!"
"No u"
"AAAAAAAAAA-!"
...
"OH FUCK SHE RUNNIN DRY!"
...
"...did...did spike just get laid?"
...
"Hi"
"hi"
"We're friends now"
"ok"
NAILED IT!
...
"You see this tree? This beautiful motherfucking tree?"
"*rubber duck sound*"
"YOU ARE GOING TO LIKE IT!"
"*whimpers*"
*SMASH*
...
"FIRE TEH FREIND LAZAR!"
FIREING FRIEND LAZAR!"
*BWAAAAA*
...
"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING!?"
"I DONT KNOW!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
...
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU FUCKING FUCK?!"
...
"Your time has come mortal..."
"*rapter noises*"
"OH FUCK THIS!"
...
"WELCOME TO THE NUT SHACK"
"I thought it was-"
"DO NOT DISRESPECT THE WANK SHACK!"
"but you just-"
"SHUT IT!"
...
"-THE BONE ZONE!"
"*manic laughter, screaming and gunshots*"
...
"and you are the father!"
"MUARY WHAT THE FUCK?!"
...
"OH FUCK SMOKEY IS ON A RAMPAGE!"
"WHAT DO WE DO?!"
"THROW SHIT!"
...
"DONT LIE TO US!"
"SLED FAST EAT ASS AND SMOKE GRASS!"
*shoves*
"SLED GANG!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*BWWAAAAA*
"OH MY CHILDREN!"
Ded.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My head was pounding as I woke up from something about rainbows? It was weird. The first thing I saw was a white-ish roof.
"Ugh what happened?"
There was a startled sound coming from my right and as I got up I got a look at outside of a window. There was nothing except the void. I turned to where I heard the sound come from and I saw a line of thrones with strange lights of different colours hovering over each one. Except for the middle two thrones which had Celestia and Luna sitting on them all decked out in armour.
"Huh"
An ominous voice which appeared to be coming from one of the lights decided to speek up
"we may soon begin."
"You what?"
Suddenly I was chained to the floor and wrapped up like an asylum inmate (crazy muzzle mask that didn't fit me included)
"the trial cannot begin until his other half is present"
Celestia nodded and the lights got very bright.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------meanwhile
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
A teary and torn twilight was breaking down when suddenly the elements lit up again much to her surprise
"twilight banishing nightmare won't solve anything"
"IM NOT DOING THIS!"
"WHAT?!"
Suddenly the elements blasted Clyde and thanks to Celestia twilight got even more traumatized :D
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The light finally toned down and then Clyde was sitting on the floor bewildered. Then the chain gang came and wrapped up Clyde just like me. Being muzzled we had no choice but to listen to the strange lights.
"as you know it is time for your judgement"
"we have decided that your interference with the element bearers has resulted in unintended consequences to equestria."
"despite your good deeds you and your kin still pose a threat to equestria as a whole. We have decided that you and your companions shall never leave equestria again to keep the balance"
Celestia spoke up
"however we see potential in you and we have also decided that you and Clyde shall keep the balance in a different way. We were preparing to banish nightmare moon but since it was you who was brought here we choose to do this now. You are to report to captan shining armour and undergo training. you two shall now become the guardians of the element bearers and this is effective immediately."
Suddenly we found ourselves in the castle court room. The chains that once constricted us shifted and moulded into some sort of suit. When the surreal experience was over me and Clyde were decked out in two very familiar sets of armour.
I was in the liquidator's hardshell from shadow fight 3 and Clyde was in a sort of blue version on the agony gleam also from shadow fight 3
"we trust that you two know what this armour is?"
"Yeah... But-"
"do not fret. We shall give you your weapons in time."
"Ok let's just get going"
The lights disappeared and the princesses led us over to the training grounds where a white pony was battling a training dummy. The pony noteced the princesses and did a bow.
"rise shining armour. You remember those recruits we talked about right?"
He nodded and looked us over and flinched when he got to me.
"Hello. I was just told you would be teaching us some skills."
" yes... Ok I suppose I could have you spar...very well. I am going to have you fight a magic golem. Prepare yourself."
Suddenly the dummy he was fighting sprung to life and got into a combat stance.
"Ok then. Uh-"
"FIGHT!"
The golem sprinted towards me and I flinched and took a hit as the wooden creature tackled me and brought me to the ground. I kicked it off me and then went with a favourite of mine. I kneed the golem in the face and grabbed its sides. I hoisted it into the air and smashed it into the ground via a powerbomb. The golem splintered and cracked as it went lifeless. Shining had a smirk and then asked Clyde to spar with another golem. He reluctantly obliged and another golem was dropped in from the air by a guard. Clyde immediately jumped into a cartwheel kick and smashed the golem's head into the ground . The golem sprung up and decked Clyde hard in his unprotected face and he was launched through the air. He kicked up and he was pissed. The world darkened and Clyde was actually back to the way he was before we did stuff. He sprinted to the golem at an insane speed and slammed his hand into the ground and a large amount of blue fire erupted from the ground and enveloped the golem. Shining was surprised and sent two golem's after Clyde.
"ONE GOLEM PER PERSON!"
I interfered with the golem and gave Clyde a nod which he mirrored. He threw down a portal as I kneed the golem in front of me in the face and I once again powerbombed the golem except this time it was through a shadow portal. The golem fell constantly in a loop and I decided to get risky. Clyde threw down another portal and I jumped in and fell just like the golem until...
"CLYDE NOW!"
In the blink of a eye Clyde moved the portal and I shot out and crashed into the wood golem with a loud crack. The golem was completely eradicated as it broke my fall feet first.
"Was that good?"
"..."
He was slack jawed along with both princesses.
"dude I think I'm getting pretty good at this whole bamboozling thing"
"That you are my friend"
"how soon can you start?"
"As soon as we get our weapons."
He nodded and set off to go somewhere as Luna brought out a big silver case.
The case contained weapons. A purple sword and a black cross bow for Clyde. And for me I got a Big war hammer (that was surprisingly light) and a large amount of hatchets with chains surrounding them. finally we got the helmet parts for our armour.
"this armour is enchanted so it will dissapear when not in use. Same with your weapons. From this day onwards you two will be a part of the luner guards shadow regiment. Congratulations. You are to be deployed right now."
"wait isint this kinda rushed?"
We never got an answer as we were teleported back to ponyvill we could hear sobbing from the inside of the treehouse.
"It's my turn for the badass entrance."
"(sigh) fine"
I climbed up onto the roof of the tree and I gave Clyde a thumbs up as he knocked on the door. The door opened and the group inside practically stampeded Clyde and suddenly things got a bit darker. The ponys looked around in confusion and I jumped down and landed cracking the ground with the hammer. The ponys backed up and were afraid of me. I slowly stood up glowing with shadow energy and I took my helmet off as the energy faded.
"Guess who just got a job?"
I said it with a crazy smile on my face as I was taken down by nightmare and scootaloo. Who had woken up a few hours prior (kid can sleep through anything!).
Clyde had literally swept twilight off her hooves as he caught her and they embraced.
Because hugs for everyone.
"...pizza?"
"yes"
It was a really good pizza.