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// Three's A Crowd 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Princess Trollestia, 

I am not thrilled with what happened today.  Cadence and I had got together not just to go to the Starswirl exhibit, but to have some fun and suddenly Discord shows up, with some blue flu.  Ok, I know something ain't right here because I have never heard of this flu and while I wasn't completely sure, I thought he was faking this illness. 

Remember how I thought you turned him to stone for out trolling you?  Now I am certain that is true because while you can troll really bad, he has magical abilities to troll anypony and everypony!  I'll admit his musical number was good but all that for a damn tiny glass of water?  Here I always thought Rarity was a drama queen but Discord put her to shame here.

Now for what really pissed me off, the two of us having to pull this huge ass chariot of his out to the edge of Equestria just to retrieve some flower to make an elixir?  To top that off, we could have died because of some hungry snake monster.  And the absolute worst, he faked his illness.  All that time that the two of us could have been having fun was ruined.  I suppose one positive though was that snake monster coughed on him and made him legitimately sick. 

Now I want to know something, did you put him up to this?  Did you put him up to trolling us so that we could not enjoy our time together?  If so, I will know that you are a pathetic cunt who can't do her own trolling, a cunt who has to contact someone whose magical abilities far surpass yours to do it for you.  Hell I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have him do this because you want Cadence for yourself! 

What a dirty aunt you really are, wanting to screw a blood relative.  Mark my words Tia, you will pay for ruining our day like this. 

Mad You Stopped Me From Having Fun, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





Dear Aunt Celestia, 

You were behind this, weren't you?  I know how you work and how you hate the idea of Twilight having fun so you had the only one better than you at trolling inconvenience us, didn't you?  Well you may have won this time but I think I'll just have to stay in Ponyville for longer and Twilight and I can rock the night away.  If Shining Armor gets upset over me staying late, I'll just say "family bonding" is more important than him. 

Hell I wouldn't be one bit surprised if you are jealous and you want Twilight for yourself!  Well you aren't getting her because she is mine! 

The Sexiest Princess, 

Princess Cadence 





Dear Princess Celestia, 

I want to thank you for ordering me to troll Twilight and Cadence.  That is the most fun I have had in eons, even funner than trapping Twilight and her acquaintances in that hedge maze!  If you ever want me to troll any of them again, let me know. 

Sincerely, 

Discord





To Equestria's Worst Princess, 

First off I am appalled that you would accuse innocent little me of having Discord troll you and your little mistress, I mean sister-in-law.  You should know that I would never engage in such activities!  I'm going to admit though, the fact that he prevented you and Cadence from having fun was quite hilarious. 

Now about you two literally flying him to the edge of Equestria proved that you aren't that much of a bitch.  For all I know you may actually consider Discord a friend and simply be hiding it from everypony.  I'm sure if that is the truth, PETA girl will know you don't want friendship with her and will never put out, ever.  Now I know exactly how to prevent you from getting any action, just summon the Lord of Chaos and let the hilarious times ensue!  

Equestria's Best Princess, 

Princess Celestia 

P.S.  Before Shining Armor came along, I was the only action Cadence ever got and to make things even funnier, there are still times when she chooses me over you! 





To My Sexy Little Niece, 

You seriously think I did this because I want Twilight?  If I truly wanted her, I wouldn't have banished her to Ponyville.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret, it wasn't just her being a little bitch who wanted to usurp my power that caused me to send her away.  Her constant failing her night time exams had a lot to do with it as well. 

Sincerely, 

Your Hot Auntie Tia





Dear Discord, 

When it comes to those six, feel free to troll away anytime you want!  Seeing them get all frustrated like that is too hilarious for you to not make it happen!

Sincerely, 

Princess Celestia