//------------------------------// // Wrong Crossover and new Spells, Dood. // Story: Welcome to Equestria, dood. // by Fusion Fool the 3rd //------------------------------// Can you guess the new added crossover, dood? (retarded laughing) ~dood~[/hr] So I and Mr. K was sent to assist Rarity this time, dood. She was killing eardrums over not finding the gems that would go perfect for this dress for Pinkie Pie, she wants several colored gems; a red, a green, yellow, blue, and purple, at least two of each to make the pattern perfect, dood. Last I checked, Twilight was still reading that weird book we found behind a book shelf so she was busy, dood. Sweetie Belle comes in with a lot more of these round gems than we needed, but Rarity was beaming, dood. “Thank you Sweetie Belle, you are indeed the best sister I could ask for.” Rarity complemented, though while Sweetie was all prideful of her accomplishment, I think there might be a problem with these gems, oh well dood. Shortly after assisting Rarity by being pin cushions or handing her material while she could have used magic, weirdo dood, we want to watch Rainbow Dash do tricks. I don’t understand what the deal is which watching a pegasus flies around doing barrel rolls, loops, and stalls. It’s like watching a bird fly around without all the needless stunts, dood. She still got a standing ovation, so I guess these ponies enjoy watching a pony fly around in circles, I can’t fly very well and I die easily so I guess I can’t really be amazed by a few aerial tricks, dood. The other prinnies enjoyed though so I guess I can’t judge too much. I was now directed to Sugarcube Corner, Mr. K went back to the library with a trail of sweat following him, since we lack a bladder, or a rectum for that matter, dood. So now I am helping Pinkie. “Hiya Fusiony, are you ready?” The party pony asked me. I go “sure, dood, what’s first?” I think my brain went out to lunch dood, cause Pinkie said every ingredient for angel food cake in half a second. “I’m sorry, dood, can you repeat all that in slow-mo?” I ask the party mare. “Didn’t you hear me the first time? We need that package of angel cake mix, 2 cups of heavy whipping cream, 2 tablespoons of confectioner’s sugar. 2 tablespoons of unsweetened cocoa powder, and 2 pints of fresh strawberries, each strawberry must be halved.” Pinkie explained. “OK dood” I acknowledge gather all of ingredients and cutting the strawberries. I pick up the Cake mix packaging for Duncan Hoof Angel Food Cake Mix, dood. “Let’s see, we need to-“Oven is already prepared to 350 degrees Fahrenheit,” the baker interrupted, I look at the package again. “Blend the mix and one and half cups of water in large bowl at low speed until moistened, beat at medium speed for one minute, this warns us in ROYAL LETTERING not to OVER BEAT the mixture. Pour into a 10-inch tube pan, dood.” I look up to see that Pinkie finished all that already. “What’s next?” she asks. “Bake for 38-48 minutes, we may need to check on it around that time, dood. The cake is down when the top is golden brown and cracked, it should look very dry and warm to the touch, again it warns us not to UNDER BAKE in ROYAL LETTERS, hang pan upside down on heat-proof glass bottle until completely cool, after a hour and half, loosen the edges carefully, wait up dood, what do they mean by ‘heat-proof glass bottle’ dood?” I ask and Pinkie shrugs. “Probably a bad typo, since I just use a glass cutting board, anyways it’s done!” Pinkie said. I turn around to see that a process that normally takes 2 or more hours was done in 3 minutes, dood. “Um, OK moving on, dood.” I say before I get creeped out any more. Slice angel food cake in half horizontally. Create a tunnel for the filling by removing a small amount of the interior of the bottom half of the cake, dood.” I finish only hearing a loud “DONE” right next to me. “In a bowl, combine the cream, confectioner’s sugar, and cocoa; whip until soft peaks form. Fold strawberry halves into whipping cream; spoon the cream mixture into cake tunnel, press down firmly, dood.” I look to see Pinkie is done already, smiling like a creeper. “Replace top of cake; pressing gently, use remaining cream mixture to frost the cake, and decorate with any remaining strawberries, dood. Chill for 15 minutes before slicing.” I look to Pinkie only to see that she is not only done, but she is eating it. “Wasn’t that for the party today, dood?” Pinkie chuckles “oh silly, we are going to make 5 more!” Oh great, baking, dood. After that mess, I headed to help Fluttershy when Gigavolt lifted me with her magic, “Alright you, little piece of Rifle Demon shit, where is my materia?” I looked at her with confusion and in fear, dood. “Materia is from Final Fantasy, dood. This is a Disgaea crossover with My Little Pony, why are we adding more to this?” Gigavolt dropped me then zapped me with her Zap Tap attack dood. “Because, now that I am not trying to drag five idiots to Hades, I now have time to figure some things out, such as the material I got one of the thieves to smuggle out of Square Enix, now shut up, and tell me where you and your moronic friends hide them?” If her element wasn’t electricity, I’d swear she was breathing fire, dood. We later heard a loud explosion coming from the Boutique, “So that’s where they are.” The evil unicorn said as she ran towards the large amount of smoke. “Oh shit, dood.” I saw, following her. “Great, someone used my Ice materia.” Gigavolt said as she gazes upon a big ice sculpture that was once the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was in tears on a luxurious sofa, with Spike comforting her and the other prinnies trying to melt the ice by using torches. “What in the hay happened here?” Twilight asked as she gets closer, dood. “No clue sugarcube. One moment it was fine, the next it was incased in ice.” Said Applejack in the world’s best rendering of her southern accent. “I’ll go get something, maybe some hot rain.” Rainbow claimed, rushing off. Gigavolt walked up to the store/sculpture put a bracelet on and said “Fire” and the Boutique was now on fire for 3 seconds before the ice finished melting and it’s all back to normal. why are we adding more to this? “So, has anypony seen some small round stones, looks great to attach to clothing or accessories?” Gigavolt asked. Sweetie Belle raised her hoof. “I found them in an open box near your garbage, Miss Gigavolt.” Gigavolt looked stupefied, “I’m going to kill Sucker Punch the next time I see her. Oh right, Sweetie Belle? Can you lead me to where they are now?” Sweetie nodded and led the demon pony in to find her stolen material. The town was relieved that the trouble is over, though Twilight looked useless and it was clear to see that bothered her, dood. She and Fluttershy helped Rarity back into her shop, which was strangely in mint-condition. Gigavolt came back down a set of stairs with a box of jewels in it, “Hey, those are mine, why are you stealing them?” Rarity ordered. Gigavolt looked back to the fashionista. “They originally belonged to me, and these jewels were the cause of this mess, so I figured you’d thank me for getting rid of them.” And with that Gigavolt was heading back to her machine shop at the edge of town. “How rude” Rarity said, as she tries to find her place in her work again, dood. “Well she did save your boutique, I’m sure she meant well.” Twilight said, “but what’s with those stones?” Super Pal does the stupidest thing ever in… Three... Two... One... “Gigavolt stole materia from a different world called “The Planet”, dood. Why she wants them is unknown, materia is a item created by the lifestream in the other world, this allows anyone to casts spells, they are divided into fivw categories by color; Red is summoning magic, allowing those wielding it to summon dragons, meteors, gods, and other nasty monsters to fight by their side. Blue material is a support material that makes other material stronger like granting the ability to absorb magic or to steal life from enemies, dood. Green is the most common and is called Magic Materia, these guys allow people to cast fire, ice and fire based spells, similar to how the boutique became a storcicle. Yellow is command material, granting strategic changes to one’s basic commands, such as the ability to throw items at the enemy, learn enemy skills, steal items from enemies, or instantly kills foes, dood.” All the ponies in the room cringed at the Deathblow effect, but the moron continued. “Purple material is independent materia, these guys are designed to amplify other-other stuff like how much money you get from beating up monsters, bonuses to statistics, dood.” My eyes grow wide. ‘Crazy green unicorn plus Magic Plus Materia plus Luck Plus Materia plus Master Summons Materia equal No Resistance. Good god, dood.’ I stammer for a bit, dood. “I think we should be careful with the materia Gigavolt has at the moment, Mr. K you go try to steal what you can so we have a fighting chance. GET THE MASTER SUMMON MATERIA, or any other big league summons, like Bahamut or Knights, they are the red stones, as for anything else, grab purple magic and speed materia, any green material that translates to pain for us, like Ultima, or Comet. Leave the rest alone, got it dood?” I commanded, Mr. K gave me a salute and rushed to Gigavolt’s machine shop. “So objects from another dimension are bad, right?” Twilight asked. “In her hooves, they are dood.” I reiterate. With all the stupidity out of the way, and the back of my flipper greeting Super Pal for boring all of you with the Materia explanation. I continued my chores, and headed for Fluttershy’s cottage to help with a new family of squirrels. Rainbow Dash flew past us with a rain cloud, dood, notice us on her way back to the boutique, “Why are you guys leaving the Boutique? Is it still all frozen?” the cyan pegasus asked. “We cleared it up, dood. What happened to ’10 seconds flat’?” I taunted, the speedster didn’t like that one since she made the cloud she was going to use to save Rarity, rain on top of me, dood. As Rainbow Dashed rained on my parade, I reached Fluttershy’ cottage, and she still isn’t here, must still be at Rarity’s place, dood. So I sit on my butt, pull out my Slaystation Portable and play Pony Fantasy six. So in the middle of getting Firefly’s ship for Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy appears to finally give me some direction, dood. Me and Fluttershy went to distribute food to the various squirrel families to prepare for winter, I don’t know why they don’t do that themselves like the ones on earth, dood. At least these ones don’t have to worry about BB guns, dood. One of the little pricks bit me in the peg leg (it may be made of wood, but I still feel it, dood), and I was just mildly annoyed the whole day, Fluttershy did try to cheer me up with some tea though, so that wasn’t too bad, dood. I told her that Mr. K would come by next week to assist her if she needs it, and she said “Thank you, Mr. Fusion Fool.” I was between acting serious for the sake of it and saying “D’AAWWWW” but I kept myself stable, and I headed home, dood. When I entered the library; I was greeted with a bizarre show. Lady Sparkle was in a debate with three other clones of herself, dood. They seem to be surrounding a pile of orbs, meaning Mr. K’s mission was a success, and now the four copies of Twilight now argued with what they should do with them, one of the Twilights spotted me. “Hey Fusion Fool, check out this new spell I learned, excuse me girls I will return.” The Twilight addressing me got up and left the other three to argue some more. She went up to the balcony and BREATHED PURPLE FIRE, DOOD! “It’s a Dragon’s Fire spell from that book we found a while ago, I’m still learning this one called ‘Haste’, and this other one called ‘Stargazer’, so give me time, and I’ll be able to cast that, probably in two days, depends on the star spell. She went down and rejoined the group of Twilights in the main room. I don’t know what came first, dood, me shitting bricks, or me fainting. All I know is that both happened. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A horrible event has occurred, Trixie is now princess of Equestria, dood. G&P Trixie: How is that bad? Twilight: How did she in the first place? Fusion Fool: Through the dark arts, Trixie has enslaved all ponies and have taken the fair Fluttershy hostage, dood. Fluttershy: Oh my. Fusion Fool: But not hope is all lost, dood! For Treasure Hunter Daring Do and the Knight Gilda have a plan to resuce the kingdom! Twilight: Hey, I'm not fodder for this, later. Daring Do: What am I doing now? Gilda: Why am I helping a nation of wimps? Fusion Fool: The Great and Powerful Army is too mighty for the two so they must recall a ancient hero from time's past. Twilight: Spoke to soon. Fusion Fool: The mare long said to destroy armies with a cast of a simple magic missile, she who said to cast the darkness out of the corners of Equestria, THE LEGENDARY TWILIGHT SPARKLE, dood. Twilight: Darn it. Daring Do: And I thought my stories were weird. Gilda: How is a nerd going to help us beat up a showmare? Trixie: But of course this will end in a epic bout between Trixie and Twilight Sparkle. Fusion Fool: Final Episode: The Great and Powerful Regime; The Rise of the Lavender Hero! Sit tight Fluttershy, Trixie has nothing on the Best Pony, dood. Rainbow Dash: Wait, when did I start fighting Trixie? I though Twilight was fighting her? Chocolate: Here's Chapter Two of 'Welcome to Equestria, dood" read that, for why we said it like that, dood. Applejack: Nice enough to not add me in your story. Fusion Fool: I didn't know where to put you, dood. I'm sorry. Yuffie Kisaragi: Where are my materia? Gigavolt: Piss off, Bitch. ~dood~[/hr] Next Episode segment dragged for a bit, but yea.....I am just a bad author, but I am at least trying to spell things right. I await everyone going "What the fuck is this?" and "This gave me eye cancer, dood." By the way, the angel food cake recipe me and Pinkie made is in fact a real recipe i found on a random site, Pinkie Pie Logic just made the process faster, dood.