//------------------------------//
// Personal Demons 
// Story: Spiders and Magic IV: The Fall of Spider-Mane 
// by Maximus_Reborn 
//------------------------------//

Chapter Eight"Personal Demons"

"You don't have to come with me," Peter calmly said, glancing at the alicorn walking by his side.

Twilight waved a hoof dismissively and smiled. "I know. But I wanted to come with you."

In the bustling city of Baltimare, the young couple nonchalantly walked shoulder-to-shoulder, earning stares of admiration from onlookers. Their children had been left in the care of Aunt May as they took their trip. Twilight stared reverently at the scenery, alternating her gaze between the local attractions and the multistoried buildings while leaning the side of her head against the stallion's. However, Peter held a bleak look in his hazel irises as his dread continued to manifest.

He had not been looking forward to this trip, begging for it to be a romantic getaway instead of what it actually was. They stepped in front of a particular building before entering, with the stallion holding the door open for the mare. Once inside, Twilight consulted with the receptionist. Before Peter could hope for a mishap to occur and cancel this entire thing, the mare offered the princess a pair of documents and pointed her to the elevator. Peter grimaced, shaking his head. They were clearly waiting for him. It made sense, considering his celebrity status, but he could only grumble at the prospect, hating the attention.

His mind droned, feeling that this was a spectacle of how the mighty had fallen. If shared, it could possibly rival Twilight's documentary on her human experiences, and considering it was the bestselling book of this generation, Peter prayed that wouldn't be the case. Twilight motioned with a hoof, prompting the stallion to follow her into the elevator after she finished signing the necessary forms. Once the mare pressed the floor's button on the panel, she glanced at her husband, who had remained uncharacteristically silent since entering the building.

"It's not going to be that bad," Twilight reassured, nudging Peter's side with her foreleg. "You shouldn't be so nervous."

Peter left the sanction of his self-induced trance with a hard blink and a defeated smile. There was Twilight again, his ever-loving wife. Despite her sometimes dense nature, the mare was amazingly astute when it came to Peter and their children. Whether it was maternal instincts or mare's intuition, Twilight could read Peter like one of her favorite books, and she was always eager to lend emotional support. He was lucky to have her.

Inhaling deeply, Peter let out a low sigh. "I really don't want to be here. There are so many things I'd rather do right now. Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, what if they say I'm crazy? Well, I was crazy enough to make a spider costume to fight crime and marry a sentient pony from a parallel dimension. So, maybe I am nuts?"

Twilight smiled. "You're not crazy. We're here because a psychiatrist can help you come to grips with what happened." The mare's eyes softened. "I'm just worried. You've been stressed out, and it's really starting to show. You've barely been able to sleep, and this session can help you. Give it an honest chance." Twilight leaned close to the stallion until their faces were inches apart, smiling widely before letting out a high-pitched squeak. "Please? For me?"

Peter's eyes twitched. "Oh, come on."

Whenever push came to shove, Equestrian females resorted to their defense mechanism to sway Peter: a pair of puppy dog eyes and a toy-like squeak. The stallion would've hated it if it wasn't so cute. It was Spider-Mane's defining weakness, and every important female in Peter's life used it to exploit him, from Twilight, his friends, Mayday, to even Aunt May. Similarly enough, Luna was not ashamed to use this tactic either, going from stoic to adorable in a matter of seconds. It was unfair, really.

Peter shrugged, kissing Twilight's forehead before the elevator door opened with a small ring. "Fine. I'll give it a try."

The couple walked into a hallway, traveling through a corridor before reaching a large room. It was wide, housing several chairs. This resembled a waiting room, evident by the old magazines placed on each table. Peter arched a brow at the cover of one, specifically last year's edition of Equestria Monthly. Photo Finish had taken another excellent picture of him. She was very particular, but Peter enjoyed their usual sessions together.

A female griffin receptionist looked up from a set of documents with a smile from behind a window. "May I help you?"

Twilight approached her window, surrendering the files to the griffin. "Um, hello. We have an appointment for Peter Parker."

Peter stood with a furrowed brow, grumbling, "A receptionist to see the receptionist? What is this? Reception?"

The receptionist nodded, oblivious as Twilight shoved her hoof into Peter's side. "Ah, yes. Dr. Tranquil Flow is expecting you," she replied, passing the princess two clipboards. "Now, if you would be so kind as to fill this out, the doctor will be with you here shortly." She smiled at Peter before getting up from her seat and disappearing from sight into the inner office beyond the wall.

The stallion held a blank stare. "Great. More waiting. And here I thought dial-up connections were slow."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "It's called a waiting room for a reason, Peter. It's your first time here. He needs to review your notes. Besides…" She passed the stallion one of the clipboards she had in her hoof. "You have something to fill out to help pass the time."

Peter looked to the clipboard with an unamused frown. "Waiting and paperwork? I can hardly 'wait.'"

Twilight barely flinched, nonchalantly taking her clipboard and tapping it over the stallion's head before taking a seat in a nearby chair and filling out her own questionnaire. "Just fill out everything appropriately."

Peter took a seat next to his wife, eyeing the form carefully. "'How am I feeling today? Did I sleep well last night? What makes me happy? Have you suffered an anxiety attack lately?'" He held the clipboard out and pointed at it with a hoof. "What is this? A dating seminar? I prefer answering questions like this in a more intimate manner. I guess dinner and a movie would be out of the question. I mean, I am married. That'd be awkward."

"Peter, calm down. You ramble when you're nervous," Twilight quietly called out, arching a brow at the stallion. "Your hooves are shaking."

"Your face is shaking," Peter muttered, yelping as Twilight's clipboard struck the back of his head.

Twilight took both of their clipboards once they filled everything out accordingly, giving them to the receptionist before retaking her seat next to Peter. The stallion fidgeted in his seat, alternating his gaze about wildly as an awkward amount of time passed. Twilight looked him squarely in the face. She wasn't dumb. This made Peter straighten his posture and feverishly shake his head with a forced smile. This was going swimmingly already.

"Mr. Parker?" the receptionist called out, earning the collective gazes of Twilight and Peter. The griffin smiled. "Dr. Tranquil Flow will see you now."

Peter stood, forcing the lump in his throat down with a conspicuous gulp. He made his way to the back in relatively short order, finding himself in a large room. The interior decoration was fancy, and the furniture seemed nicer than his own, not that that was saying much. He met with an older stallion with olive green fur, his mane and mustache grey with age, and he gave a warm smile behind his thick glasses. Peter inhaled deeply before sighing as Dr. Flow extended a hoof, pointing him towards the lounge chair.

"Prince Parker. It's an honor," Dr. Flow greeted, taking a seat in the chair next to the lounge sofa.

Peter grumbled, laying on his back before stretching his limbs out on the sofa. "Thanks for seeing me, Doc. Can't say that I'm thrilled right now, though. I mean, Spider-Mane seeing a shrink? That's not one for the highlight reel."

Dr. Flow grinned, offering a light chuckle. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. We're here to find and discuss the source of your stress and anxiety. Is there anything I can do to make you as comfortable as possible? I'll need you to tell me everything, and that may be difficult for you."

"Twilight," Peter quickly stated, turning his head to gaze at the older stallion. "I'd really like for her to be here. Is it alright if she sits in?"

Dr. Flow nodded. "Ah, Princess Twilight? Your wife. That's perfectly fine. Having somepony important to you makes it easier to talk about difficult things for some. I'll send for her right away." The older stallion stuck his head outside, calling out to the receptionist. Before long, Twilight walked into the room, taking a seat on the available plush chair behind Dr. Flow. The older stallion retook his own seat. "Do you know why exactly you wanted Princess Twilight to accompany you?"

Peter shared a glance with the mare, smiling weakly. "Twilight's always been there for me. Despite what everyone thinks, I'm not actually that strong. I always rely on Twilight for strength, and she's always supported me when I needed it the most." He turned his gaze to the ceiling. "I feel like I can do just about anything when she's with me. Ever since we got together, it's always been like that. I just feel better whenever Twilight's by my side. That's why."

Twilight's eyes softened as she placed a hoof over her burning chest. "Oh, Peter."

Dr. Flow smiled. "You love your wife and trust her completely."

"I only agreed to do this because I was worrying her. She doesn't need to put up with my stress," Peter whispered, closing his eyes before sighing. "Twilight deserves only the best, and she can't get that if I'm not myself." The stallion held a determined glare. "Let's get this over with, Doctor."

"Very well. Let's begin," Doctor Flow stated, pressing the timer before holding a quill over his clipboard. "How about we start with your past? I believe your abilities were unique to your world. Were you always unique? If not, how did it transpire, and when?"

Peter scoffed. "It feels like everyone knows this by now. I wasn't unique. There wasn't anything special about me." He held a hoof out in front of his face. "I was fifteen when it happened. We were on a school field trip to a scientific expo. They were experimenting on spiders in the facility. One had escaped, and it bit me. The next day, I found out that I'd changed. I was stronger, faster, and more aware of my surroundings. I could even crawl on walls." Peter sighed. "So yeah. I'm like this because of an accident."

Dr. Flow etched notes onto his clipboard, nodding. "Is that when you chose to use your abilities for heroics?"

Twilight cringed as Peter's demeanor darkened. Although he had generally moved on from that fateful day, it was still painful. This was his first great mistake, but it was also the anchor which drove his character. That didn't make it easier to accept. In fact, it made it harder.

Peter frowned, keeping his gaze centered on the ceiling fan above his position. "I was a stupid kid back then with bad luck. I decided to exploit my new powers in order to make some money. I never told my aunt and uncle about what happened at the science expo. My Uncle Ben was like a father to me, but the last time we saw each other, we argued. I took out my frustration in the ring. Poor Bonesaw, the wrestler I was fighting, never saw me coming. However, the fight promoter cheated me, so I didn't think it was my problem when he got robbed right afterwards, and I let the thief run past me."

Dr. Flow furrowed his brow. "What happened next, Peter?"

The younger stallion shook his head. "That turned out to be a huge mistake on my part. Uncle Ben had been murdered later that night by a mugger. I went after the one responsible and caught him, just to find out it was the same guy that robbed the fight promoter. My uncle died because of me. From then on, I wanted to live by Uncle Ben's example that with great power must come great responsibility. It's starting to sound like a bad comic book plot, huh?"

Dr. Flow was slow to respond, his brow lowering in contemplation. "Although you weren't directly responsible for what happened to your uncle, you still firmly believe that it was your fault." Once Peter gave an affirming nod, the older stallion added notes to his clipboard. "You seem to have both a guilt and inferiority complex. This seems to be intertwined with your lack of self-confidence and pessimism toward yourself."

"What do you mean?" Peter murmured, frowning.

Dr. Flow flipped to another page, furrowing his brow. "According to your written report and Princess Twilight's, you seem to reserve any criticism and aim it at yourself. Your wife says you're very influential, especially to those around you, but it seems you won't give yourself that same courtesy. I want to know what caused that way of thinking to enter your mind, and I believe it goes further into your childhood… before the incident that gave you your abilities. Is there something you're willing to share, Peter?"

An awkward silence filled the room as Peter traced his hooves against each other. The stallion hesitantly glanced at the doctor from the corner of his eye, his uneasiness apparent in his jagged breathing. "I've... never really talked to anyone about it. Twilight doesn't even know about it. Only Aunt May."

"Are you ashamed of what she or anypony would think?" Dr. Flow questioned, earning a weak nod from the younger stallion. "There's no need to feel that way. The entire point of this session is for you to get everything off your chest. Everything that is shared is bound by client confidentiality, and won't leave this room, so nopony will judge you. We can only help you if you are completely honest with us."

Twilight held a humorless smile, placing her hooves together. "I'm with you no matter what. I'm proud of you for doing this. You can tell us. I won't stop loving you, Peter, no matter what."

Peter groaned, glancing off to the side while his ears lowered into his mane shamefully. "Man… I don't know how to say this." The stallion inhaled deeply before sighing. "I was just in middle school. I didn't have any friends. I was just the studious wallflower that hung out at the library because it was the best place ever. I met an older guy named Skip. He was friendly, and always talked with me about my problems. However, one day he showed me… magazines." Peter's eyes narrowed as a familiar pain bore into his chest. "I wanted to leave, but I was too scared. He made advances, and… I was molested." He trailed off, clearing his throat. "I told Aunt May and Uncle Ben about it. I haven't heard from Skip since. So, that's that. It was a long time ago."

Twilight threw both hooves over her agape mouth. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Oh, Peter."

Dr. Flow was slow to respond, holding a wary gaze on his patient. "This… certainly explains your meek demeanor. You kept such a traumatic secret to yourself."

Peter shrugged. "Trust me, that's not even the worst part. I haven't even gotten to the day I was buried alive for two weeks, got sent into a future where I watched many of my friends die, talked about how my ex-girlfriend died, or talked about the recurring nightmares I've been having for the past five years."

The older stallion stared at his patient with a look of disbelief, straightening his glasses before clearing with his throat. "Well, we still have forty-five minutes." His complexion paled. "Let's… proceed further."





The appointment had gone swimmingly, and Peter told the doctor everything he could recollect right off the top of his head. The young couple reached the elevator, having left after Dr. Flow suggested that the stallion try to avoid strenuous activities for a while. It seemed Twilight's hunch was right, with Peter suffering the effects of post traumatic stress disorder. At least, that was Dr. Flow's synopsis after seeing the symptoms.

Twilight stood silently, unable to remove her violet gaze from her husband. They had been married for nearly nine years, but it felt as if she didn't know who Peter was. He had always been upfront and honest with her, even when the truth hurt, and she loved him for that, appreciating that same earnestness that drew her to him. However, there was a darkness he kept stored, even to this day. It was his guilt and past, something Peter bore in abundance.

He had fought countless battles and had endured many hardships. Twilight choked back a sob. She had thought she'd seen everything from Peter's memories, but there were others, buried deep within his mind, never to be spoken of again. Questions raced through the mare's thoughts. She felt as lowly as a failure, unable to cope with the idea that her husband dealt with so much, and that she had helped him so little. It made her wonder how such a sweet soul could endure and bear such pain while holding their clarity without forsaking others. Perhaps it was wrong, but Twilight loved Peter more for that, wanting to be there so that he wouldn't have to suffer again.

Peter placed a hoof over her shoulder as he stood upright, freeing the mare from her self-induced trance. "Are you okay? You're crying."

Twilight hastily wiped her face clean, sniffling before wrapping her hooves around the stallion's neck. There was so much she wanted to say, yet words failed her. Twilight did only what she could, and let her actions speak on her behalf. Peter returned the gesture, tightening his warm hold as the mare nuzzled her face into his fur. He put on a strong face in spite of years of pain. Twilight whispered sweet nothings into his ear, promising that it would no longer hurt him. Eventually, the couple rested their heads against each other, with Peter never relinquishing Twilight's hoof.

"I love you," they whispered, finding solace in each other.

Twilight shuddered, pursing her lips as he lowered back on all four hooves. "Did… this help any?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah. I feel a little better. I guess saying everything out loud has its perks after all."

Twilight rubbed a hoof affectionately against the stallion's cheek. "I'm so proud of you. This took a lot of courage for you to do. I just want to remind you how much I love you."

"Thanks, honey," Peter grinned, placing a soft kiss over the mare's forehead. Once the elevator door opened, the stallion chuckled. "Let's go home. I'm starving." He paused, stealing a glance back at the building. "Do you think Dr. Flow will be okay?"

Twilight nodded, leading Peter away by his hoof. "Of course. He's a professional."

Back within the building, Dr. Flow staggered into the office of a griffin co-worker, a fellow psychiatrist. Before the female doctor could respond, the older stallion collapsed onto the sofa, distraught as he held a widened gaze.

"Are… you free to see anypony?" Dr. Flow whispered, his voice wavering. "I'd like an appointment right away. I'm… not well."

The griffin arched a brow, grabbing the nearest clipboard perhaps out of instinct before taking a seat in the chair next to the sofa. "Sure thing, Doctor. Can you tell me when it started?"

Tranquil Flow shivered involuntarily, his shocked expression seemingly permanent. "You see, it all started this afternoon when Peter Parker walked into my office…"